Dear El,
I’ll skip the pleasantries like if you’re reading this then it means I’m dead. That shit is so corny. But I really have no idea how to start these letters out, because that is what it means. I’m dead. It’s strange sitting around knowing that I probably won’t be here tomorrow. There are so many things that I should be thinking about, but all I can think about is how much I wish I was with you. Is that weird? Probably. But I’m dead so I guess I don’t really give a shit if anyone judges me for it.
There’s so much I need to say to you. It seems stupid to try and limit myself to a couple of paragraphs. I guess I’ll start by telling you that I miss you. Not having you by my side at school every day has been absolute torture. I found one of your scrunchies under my bed a couple of months ago. Again, this may be kinda weird, but I wear it every day. Whether it’s in my hair, or around my wrist, it reminds me that you’re out there, and that’s comforting. The truth is, sometimes I miss you so much that I feel physical pain. My stomach will churn, and my muscles will get all stiff and uncomfortable. I just feel like there is so much more. I have so many things to tell you.
Every time something remotely interesting happens to me, I want to tell you. Like, the other day, I found this stray cat out by the gates of the trailer park. He seemed scared, so I set a Pringle down in the grass and backed away. After a few minutes, he crept out from behind the bush he had been hiding in and took the Pringle. It was sweet. I think you’d like this cat. He’s sleek, and clever. His fur is gray, like how the clouds look when it’s going to rain.
I know that story isn’t at all interesting, or relevant to like…anything. But I still wanna tell it to you. Like I said, stupid to limit myself to a couple of paragraphs, because there are hundreds of short, stupid stories that I wanna tell you.
I miss you more than I could possibly articulate. If I never see you again, I hope you’ll remember me. I hope you’ll remember the me before all of this bullshit. When things were simpler…when I was simpler. I really wish we had more time…I really do.
Goodbye, El.
Love,
Max