Boxers or Briefs?
Katherina
"I wouldn't recommend drinking that so quickly. It will make your-"
She stopped mid-sentence upon seeing his face contort into a grimace of discomfort, hand shooting up to rest on this throbbing forehead. "Yes, that's what we refer to as a 'brain-freeze'," she informed him with a grin. "It'll pass," she assured him, her voice barely audible over the chaos of the shopping mall.
He pushed her frappuccino across the table back into her hands resting on the table across from him. Seems he'd had his fill of frozen beverages. When she asked if he'd like to taste her favorite item on the menu, she hadn't truly expected him to take her up on her offer. After all, he'd refused when she tried to purchase one for him at the counter fifteen minutes ago. Men and their pride.
She stood, taking one last swig before tossing the empty cup into the trash bin. She didn't have to look behind her to feel his presence, she knew Itachi had followed. She maneuvered them through the crowd, away from the bustling food court. She hung a right, heading toward the wing of the mall that housed some of the better clothing stores, Itachi moving to flank her right side.
She cast a sideways glance at her shopping partner for the day. She didn't know whether to giggle at the thought of an ex-Akatsuki member working his way through a busy shopping mall in pursuit of clothing, or to grimace at the stark contrast between her companion and herself. Not only were the physical differences appalling, but something about the way he moved with such grace...he almost seemed to glide.
As she looked around her, she was quick to find that she wasn't the only one who noticed. In fact, nearly everyone that passed by them glanced in their direction, a few going so far as to gawk at Itachi.
Thankfully he left that dreadful cloak behind, she thought with an exaggerated eye roll. His graceful gait and otherworldly beauty were enough to a attract an absurd amount of attention even without it. She smiled inwardly at the thought of him encountering an anime fan who clearly would think he was attempting a cosplay of epic proportions, while donning the accessory. As it was, he looked so much like his cartoon-self that he hardly needed the robe. I should dress him up and take him to a convention, she thought giddily.
They passed several shops, and every now and then something would catch the Uchiha's attention. A neon store logo, an eccentrically dressed store mannequin, employees handing out free samples of lotions and serums.
Idly, she wondered what current style would suit him best? She appraised his form discreetly without turning her head. Truthfully, he could probably attempt any modern-day fad and pass with flying colors. Though he was a very low key person, as far as she knew. She'd only ever seen him dressed in neutral, dark colors.
She pictured him first in a pair of red, skinny jeans and a pair of smart, thick rimmed glasses. Maybe throw in some suspenders for good measure. She chuckled at the idea of a hipster Itachi.
Next was Goth Itachi. Hmm. She had to admit, that idea had merit. She could picture him now dressed in black from head to toe. A tight leather shirt, chains hanging from his black trip-pants. Studded belt buckles and wrist cuffs, some coal eyeliner bringing out those already intense, inky eyes. He could keep the nail polish in that case, she thought with a sadistic grin.
So engrossed was she in her comical thoughts, she didn't notice her pace slowing or Itachi slowly moving in front of her.
Hmm, what about a preppy Itachi? She mused with a barely suppressed giggle. She also didn't see it coming when he stopped abruptly, causing her to slam into his back, lose her balance, and crash land directly on her rear.
She hit the cold floor with a pained oomph, her wallet falling from her grasp. Unfortunately for her, it appeared that the change purse wasn't zipped properly, causing all her loose change to scatter in every direction.
She cursed mentally, flushing with chagrin. She glanced up at Itachi to see him watching her with barely concealed mirth, with a possible hint of worry.
He smirked down at her.
Nope, just mirth. Bastard.
She frantically reached out and began collecting the coins strewn about on the floor, leaving the majority behind in an attempt to flee from her humiliation as soon as possible. A hand presented itself in front of her, and she took it gratefully, choosing not to look its owner in the eye.
"Are you alright?" He inquired smoothly.
Reluctantly, she looked up to meet his gaze, which thankfully wasn't quite as mocking as it was a few moments prior. "Yes. Why'd you stop anyway?" She grumbled.
"I was going to ask if this is-"
"OH. MY. GOOOOSH! HONEY, are you alright?!" A woman's voice squawked somewhere from Kat's left. Both parties looked toward the sound in question. Kat almost groaned aloud. An exceptionally large woman with platinum blonde hair was barreling her way through the crowd of onlookers-yes, it seemed everyone had witnessed her moment of shame-to get to them. "God, did EVERYONE see?" She all but moaned, shoulders sagging in defeat. Itachi's lips quirked slightly in response.
"That was crazy!" She woman crowed, drawing even more attention to the scene. Kat turned, intending to ensure her that she was fine, only to nearly be mowed down by said lady as she forcibly pushed past Kat to get to Itachi. You have got to be kidding me, the girl thought, jaw almost hitting the ground at the woman's audacity.
"Are you alright, hon? The blonde tank hollered, directing even more attention to herself, if possible. She seized up Itachi's arms, turning them over in her portly hands, seemingly checking for injuries, much to his displeasure. "I was just walking by, minding my own business-"
"Doubt that," Kat growled under her breath.
"-when I looked over to see that little girl just plow right into you!" She finished in a thick southern drawl that was clearly being embellished.
Kat was beside herself at this woman's rudeness. "Little girl?" she hissed.
At least I'm not trying to pick up a man half my age in a damn shopping mall.
"Kids these days," the old bat complained with a tsk, causing Kat's teeth to grind together harshly as she fought to stay silent against the blatant insult. "Never paying attention!!"
Itachi met Kat's murderous glare with obvious discomfort. Hmph. He can work his own way out of this one, she thought, crossing her arms like a miffed child.
"No respect for a nice young man such as yourself," she cooed, leaning toward Itachi, the tops of her breast coming close to spilling out of her too-small blouse. At this point, Kat was ready to pull the man from her grasp forcefully and haul him into the nearest store. This was getting out of control. A family of four walked by slowly, taking in the scene with shocked amusement as Kat averted her eyes.
"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked again, lifting her hands to his face, probably to pinch his cheeks. Her admiring smile turned into a look of pure shock as her both her wrists were captured simultaneously by one of his large hands.
When he spoke, his voice was deceptively calm. "You misunderstand. This woman is my friend. I stopped suddenly causing her to collide with my back." A pause. "The fault was mine," he said icily, releasing her hands. For a fleeting second, Kat was certain she saw his dark eyes flash crimson. But before she could register the change, they were onyx once again.
A second later, the woman gasped, turning away from his expressionless face and waddled away, spooked as a Thanksgiving turkey in November. Kat positively sagged with relief. Composing herself, she approached her "friend", as he'd referred to her moments ago.
"Let get out of here," she whispered. He nodded in agreement as they stalked away from the curious crowd, who by now were not even attempting to mask their interest in the ordeal.
"Uhh... back there...did you...?" she began when they were a safe distance away, unsure how to phrase her question. Was there a proper way to ask someone if they'd mentally tortured another person with their eyes?
"Of course not," he said quickly. "I intended only to scare her into leaving us. I would not torture someone who poses no threat to me." He paused, taking in her relieved expression. "Though she was rather unkind to you."
She allowed her eyes to meet his gaze. "She was. But I'm glad to hear you didn't mindfuck her," she added with a laugh. "The old bat's probably pushing up on another young piece of meat by now," she joked.
His expression grew more serious. "Did you truly think I would...'mindfuck' someone, as you so eloquently worded it, simply for invading my space?" He asked seriously.
Her eyes widened slightly. Was he offended?
"Well...no, I guess not," she said, quietly. "I was mostly just making sure. She took off in a hurry. Last thing we need is a traumatized cougar tattling to mall security that there's a red-eyed, devilishly handsome man threatening the patrons," she laughed, hoping that he understood that she didn't suspect him of anything.
"At any rate, they would have a hard time proving such a thing," he said with a shrug.
She was relieved to find he didn't seem to be offended by her question.
"'Devilishly handsome', was it?" He parroted without warning.
She coughed harshly and almost tripped at his words, at his casual tone. Of course he would focus on that particular blunder. When would she learn to filter her thoughts before speaking?
She quickly began to backpedal, stumbling over her words. "Well...I just meant that...since she was so pushy-well, she must think so...to have, ahem...behaved that way," she stuttered, avoiding his penetrating gaze.
Ugh.
Itachi let out an amused huff, which if you consider who the man is, could almost pass for laughter. Katherina was so entranced by the small sound that she stopped walking completely, meeting his eyes in surprise, her previous embarrassment forgotten at once.
She was quite taken aback by his willingness to smile-or the Uchiha equivalent of the expression, that glorious, crooked half smile-since she had come to know him. He looked at her questioningly, halting his own steps. She shook her head in dismissal, resuming her movement.
Regardless of how it came to be, she was glad he was here. Though she was sure that deep down he longed to return to his own time, to his own world, it was somewhat comforting to know that here, he had no need to look over his shoulder. He had no hunter-nin relentlessly pursuing him. There was no bounty placed on his head. He could live.
She truly hoped that he would take this opportunity for what it was-a second chance. And she would do anything in her power to help him make the most of it. Starting by finding him some new clothes.
Up ahead was a promising store. As they approached the entrance, Kat halted, glancing at the man beside her. "Would you like to go inside?" She asked. He gave a single nod, gesturing for her to lead the way.
As they walked through the door, Itachi looked up to read the bold, white-on-red letters that formed the word EXPRESS. They were greeted immediately by a pretty saleswoman with shoulder-length auburn hair. She approached with vigor to see if they required her help with finding anything. Kat shook her head politely at the woman. "No, thanks. Just browsing for my friend here," she answered with a friendly smile.
Though it was a wasted effort, it seemed the woman had only eyes for Itachi. Well, go figure, Kat thought sarcastically. She had to smile. Twice in one day. How did the man ever get anything done? Though she could hardly blame the woman. He was rather magnificent looking, there was no denying the fact.
"Oh, is that right?" She asked, obviously addressing Itachi. He merely nodded.
"Well, let see. Tall and lean, you could pull off jeans of any cut," she informed him appraisingly. "Follow me! Let's find your style," she exclaimed, already prancing toward the back wall, which was lined with shelves stacked with denim of every hue and size.
She grabbed several pair for him to inspect, all different cuts and styles, as she explained the difference in fit and what shoes would go best with each. She excused herself to search for shirts that would blend nicely with each style, instructing him to decide which fit he preferred in her absence.
As she hurried away positively buzzing with inspiration, Kat looked on trying not to laugh at the poor, star-struck girl. She knew this must be what women of her particular skillset DREAM about. Their very own Ken doll to dress up and admire. Though poor Ken couldn't hold a candle to Itachi. He was on his own level.
Itachi looked up from his armful of jeans, looking a bit out of his element. She smiled encouragingly. This was what they were here for, after all.
"Are these items overly costly, Katherina-san?" He asked quietly, looking at the price tags uneasily. Since he did not yet have any grasp of American currency, he could hardly gauge for himself their cost. She walked over to join him by the shelves, glancing down at the tags. She shrugged.
"They're average, I suppose. But they're decent quality," she assured. "Denim is durable. Which style do you like? Or do you not like the material," she asked, unsure what clothing was made of in his own world.
He shook his head. "The material is fine. However, I do not wish to be a burden. I don't need the finest quality clothing."
She smiled kindly. "Seriously, it's no bother. They're definitely not the finest, but they'll suffice. And you need clothes, so...pick whatever you like. If you don't like the stuff here, there are plenty of other stores we could visit," she told him.
He stared blankly at her, still unconvinced. She sighed, lowering her voice somewhat. "Look, my house and car are paid for, I have nothing better to spend my money on, anyway. So go crazy," she joked, knowing he'd never take advantage of anyone's kindness.
He continued to stare at her silently, holding her gaze. She stared back, flashing a gentle smile. "You do not owe me anything, Katherina-san. This isn't necessary."
"Let me do this for you," she replied just as seriously. "Please," she whispered.
His head tilted to the side almost imperceptibly, looking as though he was going to speak again. She shook her head once in finality. She was doing this for him. It wasn't a big thing, and she truly didn't mind.
"Here we are," the sales girl called, announcing her return. Kat looked up to see the woman hobbling toward them, shirts of every color and design draped over both arms.
Someone's excited, anyway. Kat snickered, though she eyed the clothing skeptically. Some of the colors were a bit...eccentric. She would pay big money to see Itachi prancing around in that bright orange button-up starkly reminiscent of everyone's favorite jinchuriki.
Now that she thought about it, most of the things the saleslady had selected were a bit...well, NOT Itachi. She watched on as the girl directed her new shopping buddy to the men's fitting room. Kat slowly followed behind them, feeling rather awkward. The woman hadn't acknowledged her once since they'd arrived. She had a feeling that if Itachi ended up staying for awhile, she would be in this situation quite frequently.
She watched on as the girl coaxed Itachi into the dressing room. As he closed the door, the girl grabbed the first pair of jeans and a grey, long-sleeved shirt and passed them over the door to him. Kat took a seat on a nearby bench, waiting for a chance to be useful. Not likely with miss employee of the month over here, she thought, stifling a yawn.
A minute or so later, the door opened. Kat looked up expectantly. She didn't know whether to laugh or drool. Poor Itachi, she thought trying not to crack up. He shot a look at her that told her she'd better not. She coughed quickly to cover up her laughter, turning her head away from the pair.
"Wow, you look GREAT! What do you think, are they comfortable?" The girl purred, she seemed to struggling not to reach out and touch him. At that, Itachi scowled openly and Kat stood, walking over to the doorway he was standing in to mediate.
"Perhaps something a bit more...loose," she suggested, earning a sharp grunt of agreement from Itachi and a dirty look from the girl-Shannon, she gleaned from her nametag-standing at his side. "The shirt is nice, though. Don't you think so?" She asked, addressing Itachi, though not wanting to call him "Uchiha-san" or "Itachi" in front of others. Maybe they should assign him a codename, of the American variety, for instances like these.
He looked down at the shirt adorning his chest impassively, giving a single nod before disappearing back into the dressing room. Barely a second had ticked by before the jeans he had previously squeezed into were unceremoniously tossed over the door. Kat bit her lip, resisting the urge to laugh at Shannon's miffed expression.
She stepped past the girl, selecting a pair she felt Itachi would appreciate more than the previous super skinny fit. She selected a nice, safe pair of dark-washed, boot-cut jeans and approached the door. She paused to grab a black button-up shirt from Shannon, giving her a small smile, earning herself yet another death glare from the shorter woman.
She draped her arms over the door, letting the items in her grasp dangle until she felt a strong set of hands take them from her. She took a few steps back with a grin, hoping this pair fit better than the last ones. Shannon began tinkering with the remaining shirts silently, every once in awhile eying Kat with obvious distaste.
"So...how long have you two been together?" Shannon asked, not sounding at all friendly. Kat lifted her gaze from the pair of jeans she'd been studying to look at the other girl.
"Oh. No, we aren't together," she informed her, blushing with embarrassment knowing Itachi was most likely listening from the other side of the door. "Just friends," she added, looking away.
"You don't say," Shannon responded, sounding downright delighted.
Kat narrowed her eyes at the woman's bitchy tone, having had her fill of rude strangers for one day.
"So he's available?" The woman continued, now meeting her eyes with keen interest.
"Um...well, I-uh..." she began, wondering just how to explain to the woman that the man in question had only arrived in their world less than 24 hours ago, and dating was probably the last thing on his mind.
"Oh, I see..." the redhead said, chuckling ruefully.
"See what, exactly?" Kat asked in irritation.
"You want to date him but haven't told him because you know he would reject you," she girl said in a sure tone. "It makes sense. You know that he wouldn't be interested." It wasn't phrased to be a question, that much was for sure. "Do you think taking him shopping will get him to change his mind?" She whispered loudly enough for people clear across the room to hear.
Kat narrowed her eyes dangerously, opening her mouth to set the bitch straight when the door opened abruptly. Kat's eyes snapped shut in humiliation, realizing that he'd heard the entire thing. Slowly, she made to meet his gaze, though she got sidetracked somewhere between his knee caps and collar bone. Her green eyes widened, drinking in the sight of Uchiha Itachi in a pair of perfectly fitting jeans and a black button-up shirt that showed off his well-toned chest and biceps.
Upon a swift glance to her right, she saw Shannon openly looking him up and down, licking her lips. Kat gritted her teeth, fighting to get a handle on her temper before the girl across from her found herself missing a rather large chunk of hair. She looked back to Itachi, finally meeting his gaze to see if he was pleased with the clothes.
He was staring at Kat, unblinking. She smiled at him, giving a single nod of approval. With that, he reached out and grabbed a few pairs of jeans and a couple more shirts from the neatly-arranged pile, not offering so much as a polite glance at the redhead, before stepping back inside the fitting room. He had picked around most of the more colorful items, she noted.
Kat shot the woman a smug look before walking away to search for a nice belt to match the new jeans. Suddenly, it occurred to her that he would need undergarments, as well. Her cheeks warmed at the thought. What to do?
Should she allow him to finish trying on the rest of the clothing and assist him in picking some out? Or should she spare him the embarrassment of having the difference explained to him by a woman he barely knew and pick them out herself. Though the obvious fault in that was that she had no way of knowing if he would even prefer the style she picked. What did they wear where he was from?
Decisions, decisions, she thought comically.
Choosing to wait, just to be on the safe side, she walked toward a shelf that housed plain t-shirts and socks. Grabbing a couple of each, and a solid black belt from the table by the counter, she began her walk back toward the dressing rooms.
She returned to find Itachi waiting for her, several items draped over his arm. She jerked her head indicating that she wished for him to join her. As he reached her side, she looked up at him, not able to hold back her smile.
"What now?" He asked, sounding as tortured as his impeccable breeding would allow for him to. She laughed out loud at his attitude, knowing however annoyed he was at the present, it was about to get worse her next words.
"Only a question," she reassured him with a smirk. He seemed to relax at little at this. But that was before he was hit with the age-old question.
"...Boxers? Or briefs?"
Katherina
As Itachi led the way out of the store, Kat jogged behind him with a grin, struggling to match his brisk pace. Seems he isn't a fan of shopping, she thought, brows raised in amusement. To be fair, it probably had less to do with the actual shopping and more to do with the fact that the girl assisting him was fangirling...hard.
Upon ringing up their items, she had paused upon seeing the underwear he had selected (boxer briefs) and sent him an appreciative wink which he'd actually flinched away from. But it didn't stop there, oh no. She went as far as to reach across the counter and snatch up his hand, quickly scribbling her phone number onto his open palm.
Finally, he slowed to a normal pace once they were a safe distance away. Kat took the opportunity to look down at his left hand, which was currently balled into a tight fist, as if to hide the unsightly pink sharpie marks. She snorted in amusement, earning herself a challenging look from the Uchiha.
"I'm sorry. But, come on...it's a little funny, admit it!" She said through short fits of laughter. "Bright pink, too...," she managed to get out before howling in laughter upon seeing his irritation growing more with each word she forced out.
"It most certainly was not," he growled quietly, lifting his palm to assess the damage. "What is this code she marked me with?" He asked, turning over his hand to show her the writing.
"Her phone number," she replied easily, smiling at how the last few numbers were missing due to Itachi snatching his hand back from the forward woman as soon as the initial shock of her actions ceased. "She wants you to call her...to take her out," she teased, shooting him a wink of her own.
He gave her an unimpressed look. "I have no intention of doing such a thing," he informed her needlessly. "And what is a phone number?"
In response, she reached into her back pocket, removing a tiny white object and holding it out for him to take. He did so cautiously, turning it over in his hand to examine.
"That's a cell phone," she explained. "Here, we use it to communicate over long distances."
He looked at her in confusion.
"Hm. Follow me," she said, walking to the opposite side of the isle, entering the hallway where the restroom on this floor was located. He followed behind her as she led the way down the deserted hallway. As they reached the end, she hung a left, walking over to the row of pay phones lined up against the wall between the men's and women's restrooms.
Unzipping the change pocket on her wallet, she pulled out the correct amount of change, then reached out to insert the coins into the slot. She dialed the number quickly, turning to face Itachi as she finished.
"Answer it," she instructed, nodding at the tiny device is his hand.
"Pardon?" He asked, clearly not understanding.
Just then, the corridor was filled with the signature iPhone ringtone. Itachi looked down at the object in confusion, unsure what to do to make the irritating noise cease.
Kat smiled. "Like this," she said, reaching out to swipe her thumb across the screen, effectively beginning the call. "Raise it to you ear, and take a few steps back."
He did so silently, retreating a few steps away from where she stood without facing away from her. Slowly, he lifted the phone to his ear, waiting quietly for whatever was supposed to happen next.
"So?" She spoke into the phone. "Impressed?"
Itachi, who had been looking down raised his eyes to meet hers at once, gaze slightly wider than usual in wonder.
"Pretty neat, huh?" She asked, smiling at his expression.
"Indeed." He answered quietly, not breaking eye contact. His voice low voice echoed in her ears as she heard first, his actual words, then a fraction of a second later his reply through her earpiece.
With that, she replaced the phone on the receiver. Turning back to face him, she watched as he lowered her phone from his ear, looking at her with an unreadable expression.
"What is the range on this device?" He wondered aloud, turning it over in his hand to study the back, tracing his finger over the Apple logo.
"Hm. It's a rechargeable, battery powered device that can pretty much can call anyone, anywhere. Though, if you call to different countries, you will have to pay fees. They're good for multiple things. Nearly everyone has them, these days," she said.
"I use mine a lot to navigate me when I drive to places I've never been before. I'm awful with directions. And you can send text messages instead of making a voice call. They're super handy."
She reached out her hand, and as Itachi placed it into her hand, she stepped back several steps, aiming the phone at the man in front of her. As the shutter sounded, she smiled brightly, walking over to stand beside him. Selecting the picture she had capture and maximizing it, she handed the phone back to him with a smile.
She watched as he studied himself on the tiny screen, looking up at her in surprise once again. She smiled, leaning down to pick up the discarded bags, which Itachi promptly reached out and took from her, with a brief glance over his shoulder before looking back down at her.
She looked at him, confused. "It's the least I can do," he said softly. She nodded silently as he slipped her phone back into her hand, turning his head slightly to glance over his shoulder, once again. She glanced at it, smiling at the beautiful sight in her camera roll. Idly, she wondered exactly how stalkerish it would be considered if she say, made this her background photo on the home screen?
She chuckled deviously, taking a second to scroll through her call log while she was at it, which suspiciously was empty. No calls from Chase, today. She found herself hoping maybe he'd finally thrown in the towel. It seemed too good to be true. She'd give it a few more days, at least, before she really believed it.
As she inserted her phone back into her pocket, she glanced over at the entrance to the female facilities. "I'll be right back. Wait for me here?"
Itachi gave a single nod in response. She smiled and turned, quickly entering the restroom, leaving Itachi standing in front of the payphones, holding the bags.
She'd left so quickly that she didn't see the man come out from his hiding place around the corner. Nor did she see the pointed glare the brown-eyed man fixed her new friend with before disappearing into the men's restroom.