Sanbaka!
Age: 9 months
Sanbaka!
When Asuma, Kurenai and Gai first found out about Sakura, they immediately jumped to many ridiculous notions of how she came to be in Kakashi's care, as friends are wont to do.
Gai, being Gai, started praising Kakashi's "youth" for raising a child all on his own at such a young age. He also secretly believes that Kakashi procreated all on his own, giving birth on his own in an unimaginable manner. Did Gai think Kakashi was an amoeba?
Asuma, recently just returning to Konoha as a Shinobi after serving the Fire Daimyo for two years, has had one too many experiences with cover ups and bastard children. He theorized that Kakashi got an enemy Kunoichi from Ame pregnant—where else would you find such exotic coloring like pink?—and now, to prevent his daughter from growing up in such a vicious environment, kidnapped her back from Ame to raise her in secret.
Kurenai, being the most rational within the group, thinks that Kakashi simply got drunk (they were ninja, if they were old enough to kill, then they were old enough to drink)and knocked up (and have sex) some poor, unsuspecting civilian girl through his rumored devilish looks.
Although Kurenai's conclusion is certainly more plausible than the others, the real story is less raunchy, covert or….strange. The lazy eyed fifteen year old told them as much.
None of them believed him. So Kakashi just shook his head and continued to read his erotic literature—not porn!—while, placating the pink haired baby slung against his chest every time she started to stir from slumber.
"Aren't you a little young to be a parent?" Kurenai asked, after they calmed down from their frenzy, staring intently at the bundled up child slung against the Copy-nin's chest. Kurenai muses that somehow, the fact that the baby was on an arm sling instead of being carried around in his arms, is fitting of Kakashi. She could never imagine him doing something like holding a child with any tenderness at all.
"Yes. Yes, I am." Kakashi replies, looking straight at her and then turning away, shrugging his shoulder and returning his eyes towards his book.
The female chuunin, sighs at his unresponsiveness, turning to look at Asuma and pleads him with her eyes to probe Kakashi as well. The newly minted jounin shakes his head, not wanting to deal with Kakashi's bullshit.
Gai on the other hand, looked near to tears as he stared at the slowly rousing form of Kakashi' child.
Both of her eyelids quivered, her eyebrows scrunching together, her pink lashes trembling against her apple cheeks. A small chubby fist comes up to swipe her small petal mouth, successfully rousing herself. They were greeted by the most adorable pair of beryl green eyes, blinking up at them.
Kurenai couldn't help but think that this, this was how adorable she wanted her child to be. Though judging by her choice in crushes, she thinks as she slides her eyes over to Asuma scratching the back of his scruffy neck, she wasn't so sure it was possible. Maybe if she were to get Kakashi drunk, she can snag his genes for her baby and just say it was hers?
Gai, lost in the child's youthful orbs, leaned a wee too close; causing the child's eyes to water, a sure sign that she was about to wail her little heart out. The three panics at the thought; they didn't know how to comfort a child!
Just as the crying was about to start, Kakashi tucks his book back in his pack, pushes up his hitai –ate to reveal his sharingan; the bright red eye glowed, it's tomoes spinning like a wheel, seemingly comforting the child and settling her down. He gives her an eye-smile, his eyes crinkling, as he offered her his finger. The pinkette responds by grabbing his digit with her own smaller, chubby fingers, while gurgling happily.
The trio's jaws hung open, was this really Kakashi? Kakashi cooing at a child? Kakashi comforting a baby? Kakashi?!
By the time they snap out of their shock, Kakashi had already ordered food for himself and his charge; dango and tea. He fed the child small pieces of dango, wiping away at her mouth every so often with gentle hands.
Kurenai couldn't help but change her mind about her thoughts about Kakashi's ability to take care of a child. Maybe he was more capable of handling a child with care than she initially thought. Although, Kurenai thinks as she sweat drops, maybe she should tell him that dango isn't really an appropriate food item to be feeding such a young baby…
Asuma, turns placid, and thinks that children really do change people. He accepts this, returning to looking through the menu again, thinking about gifts that would be appropriate for babies Sakura's age. His father always said that when a life comes to a close, a new one blossoms—Asuma thinks it's appropriate, what with the child's hair color, he gives the child a smile and a two handed wave when she turned her eyes to him. He makes a private promise to look out for the new life that blossomed after his father's noble sacrifice.
Gai, with stars shining in his eyes, thinks that, even with a child slung against his chest, Kakashi was looking cooler than ever—in fact he thinks that it's the child that makes his rival just that much cooler. Raising a child on his own, such youth!
An idea strikes the green beast of Konoha, he stands, posing with his left hand propped against his hip, his right arm in a thumbs up, his smile blinding as he proclaim;
"Yosh! Since my eternal rival has taken up the ultimate youthful responsibility of raising a child, I too shall adopt one as well! We shall be rivals in fatherhood!"
Gai winks for added effect. The whole tea shop stops dead in their tracks. And his tablemates all shunshin away, gone with simultaneous poofs, leaving Gai with his ridiculous ideas and the bill.