He’s waiting at the private Uchiha training grounds — Itachi promised to train him — when he first notices the noise. Curious, Sasuke follows the sound, safe in the knowledge that his brother won’t arrive for at least an hour, and reasoning that he needs to work on his stealth. He locates the noise, hiding himself in the bushes just in time to see a blond haired boy fall lifelessly to the ground, various other children grouped around him in a circle. The shine on their hitai-ate reveals the main group to be newly appointed genin while the blond boy and a girl (pale eyes and dark hair giving away her Hyuuga heritage) standing off to the side seem to be closer to his own age of five.
Seven kicks later the group of children seem to determine that the bond has passed out, smile at each other in satisfaction, and flee from the scene of the crime. Another Hyuuga roughly drags the girl away, ignoring her quiet stammering, and barely affords the blond a glance. The girl looks back at the blond mess on the forest floor, slightly worried and confused, but makes no further protest.
Still curious, Sasuke deftly steps out of the bush he’d been hiding in, taking in the scene. He’s seen people wounded. He lives within a hidden village; it’s not like injuries are exactly uncommon, even among the civilians. Normally people rush to the injured party’s aid. No matter how shallow the wound, or how the villager had received it, people would gather to help. Especially to children. It leaves Sasuke unsure of why the kid was left here; the smell of blood hanging in the air is a marker of major injury even if the blond wasn’t unconscious. He briefly entertains the idea that the kid isn’t a villager; that he’s stumbled upon an imposter within their walls. He disregards the theory almost immediately. If that had been the case, the genin would have simply killed the blond. A shinobi that had been sent into a rival village wouldn’t be held captive by genin. If they couldn’t interrogate them, then there was far more harm in keeping the enemy shinobi alive. After all the next best thing to gaining intelligence was depriving the enemy of it.
He draws closer to the blond boy and takes a sharp breath in shock. There is more damage than he’d expected. The blond’s face is a mess of colour, bruised black and purple, green tinges already showing around the edges. The flesh around his eyes is so swollen that, even if the boy was conscious, he would be unable to see. Sasuke curbs the urge to vomit. It’s the worst condition he’s seen anyone in, but Itachi has taught him that no matter what, a shinobi is always in control of themselves.
Itachi has also taught him, in whispered words at night, curled up together, and those few times they’re away from the Uchiha grounds, how to help his comrades. How to assess the seriousness of each wound, and how to fix them. The lessons are fleeting, and overshadowed by his training, but Itachi had told him it was important. So he tries to gather the miniscule amounts of training that Itachi gave him and forces himself to inspect the blond for other injuries. Unzipping the alarmingly orange jumper, he finds little evidence of bruising on his body, and a quick pat-down reveals nothing in the way of broken bones. Sasuke breathes a small sigh of relief when he finishes. It seems that the genin had concentrated their attacks on the blond’s face, leaving everything else largely untouched.
The main injury, in fact, seems to be the blond’s left shoulder. The way it sits is unnatural, although Sasuke isn’t really able to say exactly why. He moves the arm, and the skin of the boy’s shoulder moves with it, turning pale as something presses up against the skin. This, he assumes, means it is dislocated.
While he is not unaccustomed to violence, this is not a state that Sasuke had ever expected to see a shinobi of Konoha leave a child in. He’s not sure what to make of it, but Itachi had always told him not to allow others’ mistakes become his own.
He does what he can to help the blond. He follows the half remembered instructions on how to pop the shoulder back into place, pausing to vomit into the bushes when he feels the jolt indicating that he is successful. Taking stock of what he can do and what he has to work with, Sasuke removes own his shirt and uses it to create a make-shift sling for the blond boy.
Satisfied that he has done all he can, Sasuke tries to pick the blond up. After three unsuccessful tries, he remembers Itachi showing him how to carry a wounded shinobi. Pulling the boy onto his back seems to work better than carrying him in his arms, although, Sasuke notes, for his age, the blond seems very light. Even so, Sasuke finds that carrying another person is a daunting task, and he staggers before setting off to get the blond to the hospital.
He abandons the blond there, knowing that he’ll receive the medical attention he needs. Itachi had promised to help him train, and Sasuke knows that it won’t happen if here’s not there waiting for his brother. He sneaks through the house to collect a new shirt before making his way back to the meeting place.
By the time Itachi arrives, the blond has been forgotten.
--
He sees the blond again, and in something of the same circumstance, though there’s no one else around this time. He seems to have passed out in the middle of an alley, the lights dimmed for the fireworks display of the Kyuubi Festival. Sasuke walks forward curiously, eyes scanning the blond. In the dark of the alley he looks like he’s sleeping.
The light of the fireworks display changes that assumption. There is blood on the ground, slowly pooling around the boy’s prone body.
Since their last encounter, Sasuke had taken to carrying around bandages. Not many, just a few so that he could help without needing to sacrifice his clothing. He is beyond grateful that he’d done so when he rolls the boy over.
The blond is in much worse shape than he was last time Sasuke saw him. His face had been left alone in favour of his torso, dark patches of skin haphazardly revealed by the staccato flashes of the fireworks. Sasuke checks the blond’s breathing, not entirely certain that he’s alive. It’s there, slow and steady, but sounds almost pained.
He runs his hands over the boy’s ribs. A soft press on the right side and the blond’s face shifts, brow furrowing in pain. He does it again and sighs in relief. They’re just bruised. Painful, yes, but not life-threatening.
He changes his attention to the wound that is more urgent. A black stripe runs its way across the blond’s stomach, turning red in the shifting light. It oozes slowly, dark lines lazily trailing down the blond’s sides and darkening his orange jacket.
Sasuke takes a breath and, once again, takes stock of what he has to use. He uses all of the bandages, packed against the blond’s stomach in an effort to stop him from bleeding out. He has no idea how long the blond had been left here, no way to know exactly how much blood he lost, how much he has left. In desperation, Sasuke pulls the boy’s shirt back over his stomach, re-zipping his jacket as another layer of padding. He uses the ninja wire that Itachi had gifted him the other week to secure it all in place, the jacket making sure that it won’t cut into his skin.
It’s the most he can do, and he knows it. With adrenalin fuelling his desperation, Sasuke gathers the boy to his chest, knowing that it would be a bad idea to carry the blond on his back. While it would allow Sasuke to place more pressure on his wound, using gravity to push him onto Sasuke, it would also place more stress on the blond’s abdomen.
He moves quickly through the streets, those not at the festival having decided to stay in. His footsteps echo strangely as he runs, trying to find the fastest way to the hospital.
His concentration breaks as he runs into someone. Hands dart out to steady him before he can fall. Sasuke looks up in surprise to find Itachi looking back at him. His brother takes one sweeping look over Sasuke and the boy in his arms. He seems to deflate.
“Go back to the festival, Sasuke.” Indignant, Sasuke opens his mouth to argue. Can’t Itachi see that the boy is hurt?! “I will take care of him, little brother, but you need to get back to mother and father. They will start to worry.” As he is speaking, Itachi reaches out and removes the boy from his brother’s arms.
Itachi jumps onto the roof tops, quickly moving out of sight. Sasuke watches in awe for a quiet minute before he turns to trudge back to the fireworks. The Kyuubi Festival doesn’t seem like so much fun anymore.
--
“You shouldn’t be seen with him, Sasuke.” Itachi tells him later that night, looking out at the moon. Sasuke nods, although he decides that he needs to carry more bandages with him. He might not be as good as his brother, not yet, but he still wants to help people.
--
The next time Sasuke sees the blond, surprisingly, he’s unharmed. He is also loud. And very orange. There is a smile permanently affixed to his face, one Sasuke can see through after having patched the blond up twice. It’s just a touch too wide and the boy acts far too confident in his own abilities, especially considering he’d nearly died earlier that year. He wonders why no one else can see it, but he says nothing.
He is also given a name. Uzumaki Naruto. The bane of Konoha, apparently. Naruto is shown into their class weeks after the beginning of the year. They are told that Naruto has special circumstances that meant he needed to change classes. After careful consideration (and a lot of simple observation) Sasuke understands what they’re really saying, and begins watching Iruka with a wary eye. None of the other teachers want to deal with him.
They pair him and Naruto together in most of the physical exercises. Naruto hasn’t had any lessons in taijustsu, so it doesn’t make sense to him; they’re supposed to be learning, not simply dominating. Even so, he doesn’t hold back, trying to teach the blond to defend himself the only way he knows how. It never seems to work, but he doesn’t stop trying.
--
Four weeks following Naruto’s arrival in their class, it happens again. There’s a crowd gathered just outside the academy when Sasuke leaves. Curious, he walks forward, wondering what had drawn everyone there. He growls when he reaches the middle.
Naruto is once again crumpled on the ground, limp limbs showing that he had already passed out. The group around him, there are four, continue to rain hits down on the boy. Sasuke forces himself forwards, letting out his coldest glare.
“Leave.” He bites out, shifting into the stance that would allow him to best protect the blond. The group look at him in surprise, but quietly follow his instruction. Only once they have all left his sight does Sasuke allow himself to turn to Naruto.
His face is once again a mess, but it had been much worse the first time Sasuke had seen him. There is no blood either, meaning Naruto won’t nearly bleed out like the last time. He drags the jacket and shirt up Naruto’s torso to check for damage anyway.
There isn’t much he can do, so Sasuke cleans his face up the best he can. Feeling bad that he hadn’t been able to do more, Sasuke places a small wad of gauze in Naruto’s mouth when he realises a loose tooth had indeed made the blond bleed.
Naruto will be sore tomorrow, although it is mainly bruising. The bruises are in areas that Sasuke has been taught to target, though whether that was accident or design he doesn’t know. As he drags the blond onto his back again, Sasuke reflects that he’s far too familiar with the sight of an unconscious Naruto. The idiot must be well known at the hospital by now. Sasuke wonders idly if Naruto will get a room assigned to him.
--
It becomes something that happens at least once a month. Sasuke never seems to get there in time to stop the others from beating Naruto unconscious, but he is always there to patch him up and take him to the hospital.
He never lingers, though. He places Naruto in a chair in the waiting room, knowing someone will attend to him sooner or later. After all, Naruto is always at the academy the next day, never a wince to show he’d been injured.
He silently refers to the bandages he carries as his “Naruto Supplies” as he never seems to use them on anyone else. He spends most of his pocket money on the first aid supplies, and wonders how shinobi are ever able to spend money on anything else. Surely they get wounded more often than an academy student.
He doesn’t understand, but Itachi’s warning rings in his ears whenever he thinks to try find out more, or to stay with the blond. You shouldn’t be seen with him. So he makes do with watching and waiting for someone to slip up. It’s never the most effective option, but it’s the only one available to him.
--
He stops carrying bandages the night that everything ends. The night that is blood soaked, saturated with the cries of the dead. After all, he couldn’t save anyone when it counted.
Instead, Sasuke chooses to focus on revenge. He couldn’t save them, so he will exact an equal payment, or as much of one that is possible in the circumstance.
He doesn’t ignore Naruto when he comes across the unconscious blond. Rather than try to patch him up, he decides that he will stop the altercations. It’s good practice for when he goes up against his brother. No one else in their age group is on par with his skills, but when they gang up on him, Sasuke finds it a little harder.
They soon stop bothering Naruto.
(He doesn’t see the way that Naruto seems to depress, curling into himself slightly. After all, he’d just deprived Naruto of one the only ways he could make sure that people saw him.)
Sasuke stops bothering with people.
--
Sasuke carries bandages, his “Naruto Supplies”, one night of the year, and one night only. It seems that every year, during the Kyuubi Festival, Naruto manages to get into an altercation far beyond his skills. He’s forever nearly dead by the end of the fireworks display, letting his life soak into the streets of Konoha. Sasuke can never find the blond idiot in time to stop it, but he’s always in time to make sure that he doesn’t bleed out.
It becomes his own touch-stone, the only time he is able to heal, rather than destroy. The only time he allows himself to remember. Remember wanting something different. Wanting to patch people together rather than rip them asunder. As he stems the flow of blood from tan skin, he imagines he can feel something like a soft gauze held carefully against his own wounded soul.
It’s never enough, but it helps him keep his grip. He knows everyone around him can see it; he’s more balanced in the days after the Kyuubi Festival, talks a little more. The effects don’t last long, though. After all, his wound is still bleeding once the gauze is taken away.
Time passes, even when one desperately wishes it would stop.
--
There is nothing like being around groups of people to make one feel lonely. To see people laughing around you, see their joy and happiness, to watch everyone move around you and realise that, for all you try, nothing would change if you disappear.
Sure, people might look over at the shadow on the fringes of their consciousness, but they would never (could never) really see.
Sasuke dispassionately watches the girls fawn over him, their cries beating against his head, grating against his soul. For all they talk, and chatter and follow him, they still know nothing. They can never know about him with how they pay attention. Seeing only what he shows them, never looking for more.
It shocks to him when he realises that, in the crowd, there is another like him. Someone who can’t follow the patterns that the crowd makes, always half a step out of sync.
Blue eyes turn to him in the middle of a crowd and see him, not the image the girls prop up of him at night. In a crowd, there was only one other person that knew the pain of loneliness. Someone else that was more alone in a crowd than in an empty apartment.
Sasuke turns his gaze, trying to never engage. He can’t afford distractions.
--
Sasuke is placed into the same team as Naruto. Because of course he is. Before their first test, that damned bell test Kakashi had put them through, Sasuke had found himself hesitating over taking his limited medical supplies. Because it couldn’t be bad if he looked after his team mate. The clan would understand, wouldn’t they?
He doesn’t take it. He’d made a promise to himself and genin did not graduate during the Kyuubi Festival. Instead, he tries to prove that he’s the strongest, the most determined of the lot. He will kill Itachi, even if he has to kill himself to do it.
Kakashi shows him with brutal efficiency how far away the goal is, dumping him next to the pink-haired-idiot-fan and Naruto, who’s tied up. Kakashi dumps the promised lunchboxes in front of him and the pink-haired-idiot-fan and wanders off.
It’s a left over instinct that has him offering Naruto some of his food. He’s been looking after the blond almost as long as he can remember, and this seems no different.
As it turns out, that instinct is the only reason they pass.
Maybe it isn’t too bad, he thinks. He still leaves his gauze at home. There is only so far he is willing to bend.
--
Sasuke finds he is on a team of people out of step.
Naruto, the boy he’s had to help for so long. Now he can allow himself to see, to pay a little attention, he is astounded. People actively avoid him, walking on the other side of the street, sending looks that Sasuke tries to not to decipher. More people, though, look down on the blond boy, vicious whispers wafting from groups to his team. When they don’t seem to actively avoid Naruto, they’re tripping or otherwise inconveniencing him.
It’s not only the civilians doing it, either. He’s seen shinobi going out of their way to make life harder for his team mate, ignoring him, or helping the shopkeepers throw items at Naruto to get him out of the shop.
He doesn’t understand, and has no idea how to go about learning more.
It seems that, while Naruto is out of step in a crowd, his steps match Sasuke’s near perfectly, the two finding a rhythm of their own.
Kakashi, too, is set apart from the crowd, although not as obviously. Sasuke never sees the silver-haired jounin around people that seem to be friends. He covers much of his face even within the walls of Konoha, and hides what little still shows behind books designed to catch attention.
Unlike Naruto, people never go out of their way to displace Kakashi, never even seem to realise that jounin doesn’t fit. They just don’t understand that a smile is not only a way to express being happy, but an attack on a world that will not allow him to adjust.
Sasuke had seen Kakashi pause once or twice, eye frantically searching their soundings, as though trying to understand their interactions. Finding ways to imitate their behaviours. Forcing himself to walk in the unfamiliar timing, even as the act caused his hold on life to slip.
So Sasuke adjusts to walking off-beat in time with the two other lonely shinobi beside him.
He has been placed onto a team that doesn’t fit.
Except Sakura, it seems.
She navigates the crowd’s expectations without any issues, correct manners and real smiles. She looks back through the crowd at them, confused as to why they can never keep up, but never trying to learn their off-beat steps.
She doesn’t belong, and often Sasuke wonders just why she’s there.
--
They’re sent on a C-rank mission far before Sasuke thinks they should. Honestly, while being sent after cats, painting fences and walking dogs is boring, he doubts that they’re ready for what’s outside.
Sadly, Sasuke is proven correct. Kakashi disappears, is killed by enemy shinobi, leaving him to protect the other three. He manages to ensure that Sakura is safe, but Naruto is wounded by a poisoned blade. He failed, and he doesn’t even have gauze to place over the wound.
He can remember — once again — hesitating over the small package, contemplating taking it with him. But he hasn’t carried gauze with him, except for that one night in years. So, once again, he’d left it back in Konoha, back where it was useless to him.
Kakashi bandages the blond’s hand, and Sasuke breathes a sigh of relief. He’s been looking after the moron for as long as he can remember, and that is a hard habit to break.
Even with years of experience.
--
Kakashi is next, caught in a water prison while fighting the missing-nin. Sasuke tries. They’re shinobi, they have a mission, even if it’s a badly appointed one. But his attacks are useless and Naruto’s attacks are useless against the enemy — both waved off as though it’s a simple game. Sakura, he thinks, is worse than useless, unable to protect herself, let alone their client.
He’s tired, and they’re out classed, and he has no ideas left.
Naruto is their saving grace, trusting him to follow a plan, and suddenly he understands why they’re placed into teams.
Kakashi wins, though the cost seems high. It isn’t anything that he is able to fix, no wounds to bandage, no blood flow to stem. Sasuke makes sure he is the one to carry the jounin to the customer’s house.
There’s nothing else he can do, after all.
He needs to remember his purpose. He is not here to heal.
--
The fake hunter-nin cracks his resolve in the space of an instant. The boy throws the senbon at his blond, and he has no time to consider his actions. It is second nature by now, to protect Naruto, and he has never managed to fully supress the instinct.
He minimises the damage done to his own body as much as he can, shifting slightly off centre so the senbon miss their targets. They do not move as far as he would have liked.
“Why?” Naruto asks, sky blue looking up to him. “Why me?”
“I don’t know.” But he does. He remembers countless wounds on the tan skin of the boy behind him. He remembers fights he broke up to protect his blond. He remembers the outrage that he felt as he realised that it was the whole village was against Naruto, not just the academy children. He remembers blond locks turned brown and red with blood. He remembers how it feels to carry the blond, how Naruto is always much lighter than he should be.
“My body just moved on its own.” He hadn’t thought about saving Naruto, he just had. It was instinct. He’s now fairly sure that it always will be.
“That Man. My brother. I decided that I wouldn’t die until I defeated him.” He couldn’t save any of his clan, so he had decided he’d do the next best thing. If you couldn’t save them, kill what had harmed them.
But he had always saved Naruto.
It was okay if Naruto killed Itachi instead. As long as Itachi died. “You. Don’t die.” If it came down to it, Sasuke is fairly sure he would choose saving Naruto over killing Itachi. Naruto, at least, had always been present in his life.
--
Kakashi enters them into the chounin exams. It surprises Sasuke more than Naruto or Sakura. He is a clan child; he remembers whispered mutterings and outraged voices describing the event. Remembers the average time a team spent as genin before their jounin thought about entering them as eighteen months and compares them to his team’s scant six.
He is, therefore, shocked when he discovers all nine of his graduation year are entered. He cannot recall such an event happening before. At the very least, he thinks, it is far from a common occurrence.
He says nothing. They’ve been entered and Sasuke says nothing to give away his astonishment.
--
They all pass the first round. All nine of them, and they share a smile between themselves. They keep passing. All nine are present at the end of the second test. If all of the nine being entered was uncommon, all of them making it this far was unheard of.
The rookie nine. The whispers around them begin, and they’re not directed solely at him.
Sasuke feels almost like he’s part of something again. Something outside of his little, out-of-step team. Feels like he’s somehow already building his clan through these people, these eight others that have managed to move far beyond expectation.
As though they are all Uchiha.
As though the nine of them have made a clan filled with more than a hidden justu.
--
He’s failed and, by the look of rage on the creature’s face, he’s made it worse. Gaara was his opponent, he was supposed to take him out. Instead, he’d brought forth this creature, this monster, and he’d set it on an unwilling Konoha.
He failed. Sakura — for all that he doesn’t understand the girl, he likes her — is trapped, slowly being crushed and he’s out of chakra to the point he can’t even run. It’s just Naruto who’s here, Naruto who’s already had to face an opponent, who’s likely already tired. Naruto who, for all that he’s improved, has never been particularly good at anything.
“I don’t want to lose any more of my precious people.” Not Naruto, never his blond. Not the little idiot that he’d patched up more times than he remembers training with Itachi. He looks at the sand-monster that the genin from Suna had become, and preys that Naruto will just run.
--
Sasuke doesn’t understand why Sakura refuses to believe him. As though he would give Naruto any credit that he hadn’t earned. He’s told her that it wasn’t her precious Sasuke-kun that saved her, but Naruto, who, even now, is trying to gain her attention. Naruto, his blond, who had nearly killed himself with the amount of charka he’d expended to save them.
Sasuke knows Naruto did it to save the village, but more than that, he did it to save them. Him and Sakura. Naruto had a teacher for the exams, yes, but Sasuke has no idea who, and they hadn’t seemed to teach him anything. He’d passed, and then he’d taken on Sasuke’s opponent, to save them, and all he wants is for people to recognise him. But…
But Kakashi taunts Naruto with a technique that he may never be able to learn; not due to any inability on his part, but due to his elemental nature. But Sakura refuses to believe that Naruto could pass where Sasuke failed and he can’t take this anymore.
--
Sasuke is being manipulated. He’s not an idiot, he can see how the people around him keep trying to push-pull him in the many directions that they deem to be the correct one. It’s just that sometimes their manipulations line up with exactly what he wants. Knowing he’s being manipulated doesn’t mean that he’s able to stop it from happening.
Kakashi’s been trying to manipulate him into being a better team member since they became Team 7. He’s been blatant about too. But he’d been doing the same to Naruto and Sakura, and in that, he’s unique. Everyone else has tried to manipulate only him. Kakashi is more successful than he knows, but then, Sasuke was already half-way there.
Itachi’s trying to manipulate him too. He’s not entirely sure why or what for, but he won’t let it happen. Not ever.
The Council wants him for his kekki genkai. They want to be able to control him, and therefore his eyes. They want to make more of the Uchiha, but they want to be able to control them. It’s not something he’s going to allow to happen either.
Newest of the lot, Orochimaru wants him, although Sasuke’s not sure what for yet. He knows that he’ll work it out quickly enough, but in the meantime, there’s someone willing to train him in ways Kakashi had been balking at.
Strangely, he thinks, he wouldn’t have left before the chounin exams. But now he’s seen what they’re capable of. He can see the bonds the rookie nine have created, can see how powerful they are, what they’ll become.
He wouldn’t have left before, but now Naruto has people to protect him. Sasuke is no longer needed. No longer the only person to tend to Naruto’s wounds.
And Sasuke has another matter to deal with first.
His blond will be fine without him for a little while.
--
He hadn’t thought they’d be stupid enough to send Naruto of all people after him. Anyone else, but Naruto. Because Naruto will still try to bring him back, even as the life drips from him.
He’s looking at his best friend, his blond with a hole through his chest, bruises covering his body, blood being consumed by the ground beneath him. He’s seen Naruto like this too many times, seen blood cover his clothing, cover his hair, skin covering his blue eyes. He’s seen the orange clad, blond loud mouth turn quiet and red of all things, but it’s never been his own doing.
Sasuke brought no supplies with him to patch the idiot up, and he can’t sacrifice his shirt because he knows with bone deep certainty that Orochimaru will not take him if he shows that kind of weakness. There’s nothing he can do, but still he stands guard for a moment, watching Naruto struggle to breathe.
He needs to kill Itachi, but he doesn’t need to become Itachi to do it. He’ll leave everything he knows behind him, but he refuses to rip it apart. His Konoha hitai-ate falls to the ground beside Naruto, and he leaves it where it fell. He trusts Naruto to look after it, for when he returns, slash through the leaf symbol or not.
Sasuke chokes, gags, throws up, but ultimately, he moves on.
“When two skilled shinobi fight, they can sense the other’s intentions without ever exchanging words.” He’d said. He wonders if Naruto got the message.