Shikamaru was standing behind her while she sat in her chair reading over her notes. He rested his arms on the top of her off office chair and leaned his head forward to read over her shoulder. She’d asked him for help on a patient she was having trouble with. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him and he’d told her he didn’t know anything about medicine. But she insisted he look over everything, saying “You see things other people don’t.”
It was almost laughable now as the words floated through his head. He really did see things others just liked to ignore. One thing in particular was sitting right in front of him. Haruno Sakura. She’d always been intelligent and over the years she had grown into such a beautiful woman. She was by far one of the strongest kunoichi in all of the nations. But she was also more than that. She was kind and loved with all of her heart. She cared about her patients and did all she could for them.
Like she was right now. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “So, what’re you thinking, Shikamaru?” Her hair was a mess, strands falling out of the loose ponytail and into her face.
He glanced away from her eyes wanting to brush her hair out of her face. He looked back down at the paper in her hand, his eyes scanning all of the information again. This was why he was here, not to stare at her like some lovesick fool.
“Did you check for poison?” he asked her as he came up with an idea.
She shook her head and looked back to her notes. “He didn’t have any cuts from a blade on him. He wasn’t even attacked. It was a simple escort mission.”
“Could he have gone through Kuma on his way back? I know you would never take a client through there, but it would make the trip back shorter.”
Sakura’s eyebrows pulled together adorably and she looked back up at him confused. “I could check. Why?”
“There’s this plant there that grows on the ground. It’s like a special kind of grass. The villagers call it demon blades or something like that. It’s poisonous and it seeps through your skin and into your bloodstream. I don’t think it even leaves a noticeable rash. The skin’s just slightly red. You should check his feet.”
Sakura stared at him for a second and he almost chuckled at her as she processed the information. She turned back to her desk and shuffled through some papers. She read over the patient’s file again, a wide smile growing on her face.
Then, she jumped up from her chair and told him, “You’re a genius!” He watched in amusement as she instantly ran out her office with the door swinging in her wake.
He sighed as he stepped away from her desk. “Troublesome woman.”
Before he could reach the door, though, she was running back into the room and throwing her arms around him. Shikamaru almost stumbled back from the impact, but kept her steady in his arm with a laugh. She said near his ear as she hugged him tightly, “Thank you, Shika.”
When she pulled away, she pecked him on the cheek and without another word she was back out the door. He could feel his heart beat a little out of rhythm in his chest and waited for it to calm down. He stepped out into the hallway with a small smile, hoping his face wasn’t red.
***
She caught sight of him walking down the street and stepped towards him, but then she saw who he was with. There was a small pang in her chest and she turned back to the fruit stand she was at. She’d forgotten Tamari was in town. She was friends with her and enjoyed the girls’ night they all had when she came by. But Sakura couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy when she saw her with Shikamaru.
They always seemed so close and it made Sakura wonder if Tamari really knew him. Did she know that he hated the hospital as much as Kakashi did? Did she understand that he could cloud watch for literal hours and forget to eat? Had she seen him with his hair down? Did she love him?
Sakura paused as she dropped an orange into her bag. The last question echoed in her head and she glanced over at her. Behind her smirk, she could see Tamari’s smile and the affection in her eyes as she looked at Shikamaru. She could hear her quiet laugh as he said something that probably wasn’t even meant as a joke.
“Sakura-san?” Sakura looked up at the call of her name and met the eyes of the elderly merchant. He asked her with a slight concern, “Are you alright?”
She nodded and tried to give him a smile. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” She pulled out her wallet from her pouch and counted money out before handing it over to him. She walked away with a small wave to him.
She glanced at Shikamaru turning the corner. Yes. She looked back to the road with a bitter smile. It was obvious. She did.
***
“I knew I’d find you here.” He heard her voice, but still didn’t open his eyes. He fought down a smile as he listened to the crunch of the leaves as she walked towards him.
He peeked an eye open at her when she kicked his foot. She was standing with her hands on her hips and glaring at him with an arched eyebrow. Before he could say anything, she pointed a finger at him. “You should be in the hospital! And don’t even start with me, you gave me permission to come in the Nara Forest a long time ago.”
Shikamaru sighed and closed his eyes again. He muttered under his breath just to work her up, “Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
“Shikamaru!” she yelled and it almost sounded like she was scolding him. She stepped towards his side and knelt down to the ground.
He didn’t stop her as she unzipped his flask jacket and lifted up his shirt, even if it made his heart race. He tried to ignore it, knowing why she was doing it. She pressed her fingers along his side and he couldn’t help but hiss under his breath.
She sighed frustrated as her chakra started to work at the bones. “Choji came and told me how bad a hit you got from your mission. I thought that maybe this time you would actually come and get looked at. But no, as much of a genius you usually are, you’re also an idiot.”
He thought her hands would feel cold, but they warm where they pressed against his skin. They left a tingling feeling wherever they went. It took a while for her to finish with his ribs and then her fingers moved over his torso and to his other side looking for more wounds. He almost wanted to reach out and grab her hands just to stop the maddening touches.
He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, knowing if he met those jade green eyes he’d become even more distracted. “I would’ve been fine, Sakura. Besides the hospital would keep me longer than I needed to. Then, I’d fall behind with helping Naruto with paperwork and things and who knows what would’ve happened. Hospital’s too troublesome.”
She huffed above him and he felt her hands slip out of his shirt. They moved to his shoulders and slowly moved down his arms. He couldn’t help but ask her this time, “What’re you doing? My ribs were all that was bothering me.”
“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t even come and tell me about it, so I don’t know if you’re hiding other injuries,” she retorted and he could hear the slight anger in her voice. But he knew it was really just worry.
He opened his eyes and saw the frown on her lips. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes set in concentration as she worked her chakra over him. He reached out and grabbed one of her hands. She looked up at him startled, but then opened her mouth with a glare. Before she could say anything, he told her, “A cut on my left leg under my knee. That’s my only other injury. I already bandaged it, but you can check it out for yourself.”
She didn’t look away from his eyes for a second, probably trying to decide if he was lying. Then, she slowly slipped out of his hand and moved to his leg. She rolled up his pants leg and examined the bandage herself. He wasn’t bleeding through the gauze so he knew she would okay it. After a couple of seconds, she rolled the fabric back down with a sigh.
He watched her as she stood up and gave him a tired smile. He raised an eyebrow at her when she looked like she was about to leave. “So, you’re just going to come yell at me, mess up my clothes, then leave?”
She looked at him surprised and her eyes trailed down to his open vest and ruffled shirts. He saw her blush and bit back a smile. He turned back to the clouds above him and said, “Come lay with me.”
A nervousness bubbled in his throat in the seconds that she hesitated, but then she was on the ground next to him. He fought to not reach out for her when she was just a foot away. To have his hands move across her soft skin in light but sure touches like she had done him. He almost wanted to tease her to fix his clothes just so she’d be that close again. Then, he could look up at her and maybe she’d blush that sweat pink again.
She’d joined him plenty of times before when he was cloud watching. Sometimes she’d be quiet and thoughtful. Other times, she would chatter softly to him about whatever was on her mind. Her voice was always soothing and he enjoyed listening to her. She always seemed so comfortable to just lay there and talk his ear off even when he barely responded. But he did listen to her and that was probably why she didn’t mind his silence.
Today, she kept stealing glances at him and he could see her out of the corner of his eye biting the bottom of her lip. He wondered if she was still worried about him even though she had just healed him herself. It wasn’t the first time, she’d come by to yell at him about his negligence of his wounds and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Choji and Ino had already figured out to just rat him out to her and she’d come and give him a piece of her mind after healing him. Though, usually if it was Ino she’d only go to her if she couldn’t heal him herself or if he’d pissed her off enough.
He didn’t really mind Sakura’s scoldings though, he actually enjoyed it. He’d almost think he was crazy or maybe a masochist. But then he’d think about how his parents were and understood where the feeling came from. Sakura wouldn’t bother to yell at him if she didn’t care. It was nice knowing she did. Enough to come and find him in the Nara Forest even if she had been busy.
Sakura eventually told him in a quiet but sure voice, “You can always come to me, you know.”
He turned his head towards her confused. “What do you mean?”
She met his eyes before looking back to the sky. “Since you refuse to come to the hospital, just come find me instead.”
“Sakura –“
She cut him off with a smile. “It would make me feel better, Shika. I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing. Just come see me if you’re hurt.”
Shikamaru stared at for her a second and then she turned her head back towards him. She was smiling sweetly at him, but he could see the silent plea in her eyes. He sighed with a small smile. “Alright, Sakura-chan.”
***
Sakura let out a deep breath nearby and he glanced at her to see her rubbing her neck. He raised an eyebrow at her from where he sat leaned against a tree. “Sore from the fight?”
She nodded as she walked over to him. “Yeah, I probably overdid it a bit. They told us they were S-class criminals, but I’m sure a team of genin could’ve taken them out.”
Shikamaru chuckled remembering how quickly the battle was over. It was like fighting genin to Sakura, but they were still jounin. Shikamaru didn’t really have trouble with them either, but it had been less than easy for Sakura. He could still picture the terror on those men’s faces.
He’d been surprised when Naruto sent him out with her, but the client had told them they were S-class criminals that were attacking travelling merchants. He wanted Shikamaru to go with her in case the group turned out to be bigger than they thought and they needed an intricate strategy to take them out. But they hadn’t been a problem at all. Sakura could have handled it herself, but he wasn’t going to complain about their joint mission. He so rarely even got sent out on missions anymore, let alone with her.
He watched as she mindlessly added a twig to the small fire they had built. The light from the fire danced across her milky skin and in her eyes. It was hard to look away from. Then, she turned towards him with a smile that made him feel like he was melting from the flames. She stepped towards him and without a word plopped down to the ground beside him. She leaned against his shoulder and somehow where her skin touched his felt hotter than the fire by his feet.
She was quiet for a while and Shikamaru thought she might have fallen asleep. Then, she reached up and put her hand at the back of his head. He was so surprised he didn’t even react and within seconds she’d tugged the ponytail from his hair and his hair fell around his face. He cocked an eyebrow at her and she shrugged. “You were complaining about a headache earlier. I don’t want to spend any chakra on it since we’re not home yet, but that should loosen the tension.”
She had that soft smile again and her eyes followed her hand as her fingers combed through his hair. He felt a shiver run up his spine from how it felt and hoped she hadn’t noticed somehow. Then, without another word she was laying down on the ground with her head pillowed on his leg. Her pink hair spread out across his dark pants and he couldn’t help but run his fingers through it. She looked up at him with a warm smile that was almost knowing. It was like she knew exactly what she was doing to him just by being so close. Maybe she did.
She turned her head away from him and towards the flames. In the moment, he was made very aware again of how beautiful she was. He didn’t understand how guys weren’t tripping over their feet trying to get her attention. Sakura was an amazing woman, an amazing person. He wished he had noticed so sooner. When they were younger, before the war. He wondered if it would have changed anything.
He looked down at her eyes and they seemed to hold so much in them. She looked like she had a million things running through her head. From the small frown on her face, he knew her thoughts must be heavy, weighing down on her. He wondered where her thoughts were taking her and then she sighed. “Have you noticed how everyone’s started to pair up?”
He shook his head at the question when she looked up at him. “I hadn’t.”
She turned back to the fire and rattled off names. “Naruto and Hinata. Ino and Genma. You and Tamari.”
Shikamaru was about to protest the last one when he saw how distant her eyes were. He knew who she was thinking about then. He tried to ignore the disappointment and muttered, “Sasuke’s an idiot.”
She merely hummed in response, but he could see the faintness of a smile on her face. After a minute, she said, “And Tamari’s lucky.”
Shikamaru felt warm at the sly compliment and he smiled. He looked away from her and at the flames dancing in front of them. “Tamari and I are just friends.”
He could feel her visibly still from his voice. Then, she said softly, “I can see the way she looks at you.” It wasn’t accusatory or questioning, just a statement.
He sighed, his smile faltering. “Yeah, I can too.” He could see the soft looks she gave him, the smiles. He knew how she felt about him, but he’d turned her down years ago. They were just friends and always had been. He often wondered if it hurt her to be around him when he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. But she was always happy even just as friends, so he tried not to feel guilty about it. “But you can’t force someone to stop loving you as much as you can’t force someone to love you.”
She nodded with a smile. “That’s true.”
They didn’t say anything else for a while and the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the night animals. His eyes trailed across her skin, her cheeks, her lips, the curves of her body. She could probably feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t seem to mind so he didn’t look away from her. It was too hard to anyways with the warmth of her body so close to him just calling out for attention. His fingers continued to play with her hair, sometimes brushing cross her arms.
Even if she never wanted him, he was happy enough to have her like this. As much as she would give him, he would take. It made him realize how Tamari felt and he felt like he finally understood her. He didn’t think he could ever tell Sakura how he felt. Even if he wanted to, he doubted he could find the right words. When he could see her mind wander to another, it made him keep his mouth shut. To add his feelings on top of her already heavy mind, it would be selfish.
But he couldn’t help himself from touching her, not when she would let him. Without even thinking about it, his hand moved from her hair to cup her cheek. She looked up at him and he could see her eyes widen a fraction. His thumb stroked across her cheek and as if it was from the movement alone, her skin turned a faint pink.
Before she could ask him, he lied, “You had dirt on your face.”
She knew it was a lie. He could tell by the way she rolled her eyes and glanced away from him. But she was smiling so he didn’t move his hand away from her. She leaned into his touch and they were quiet for a while. Then, she surprised him when she told him something he’d been wondering - worrying about for a while. “I don’t think I ever loved Sasuke.”
She didn’t look at him or wait for a reply. She kept her eyes on the fire and he could see the heat swirl in her eyes. “I was just in love with the idea of him. I had no idea what it was like to really love someone.”
He bit his tongue when he wanted to ask, “Do you know now?” He told her instead, “It’s okay, Sakura-chan. We’re all still learning.”
She smiled and let out a soft sigh. Then, she turned on her side away from him slipping out of his hand. He went back to stroking his fingers through her hair soothingly and watched the rise and fall of her shoulders. “Go to sleep, Sakura. I’ll take first watch.”
She mumbled back, “’M not sleepy.”
He didn’t argue with her knowing she’d fall asleep eventually. After a while, he noticed she was shivering despite being feet away from the fire. He tried again. “You’re obviously cold. Why don’t you just go get in a sleeping bag?”
She shook her head and said stubbornly. “I’m fine, Shika.”
He rolled his eyes and reached out for her arm. She looked over her shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow and he tugged lightly on her arm. “Come here then.”
She didn’t hesitate and moved to sit next to him. She leaned against him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and draped her legs across his lap. She sighed and made herself comfortable against him as he held her. They didn’t say anything else and like he expected her to, she fell asleep in his arms.
***
“So, you’ll come, right?” Ino looked at her expectantly and Sakura could tell how excited she was about the surprise birthday party she was planning for Genma.
Sakura nodded. “Of course, Ino.”
Ino grinned and asked her casually, “And you’ll bring Shikamaru with you, right?”
“Yeah – I mean I’d have to ask him, but –“ Sakura looked at her a little surprised. Since when was that just assumed?
Ino cut off her answer with a wave as she stepped away from her. “Okay, great! I’ll see you two at our apartment later then!” Then, she walked away from her without another word.
Sakura stared after her, feeling a slight blush growing on her face. Then, as if just the thought of him had summoned him, she heard his voice call out to her, “Sakura-chan!”
She turned around to see him strolling towards her with a smile. When he stopped in front of her, he raised his eyebrow at her. “What’s wrong? Why is your face so red?”
She felt her blush deepen and she rubbed the back of her head and chuckled. “Oh, it’s nothing. Um, did Ino tell you about Genma’s surprise party?”
He started to walk beside her and shook his head. “She hadn’t.”
Sakura rolled her eyes. Honestly, Ino sure did put things off until the last minute. “Well, it’s his birthday today and she’s throwing him a party tonight. Do you want to go?”
He glanced down at her and she could feel his arms brushing against hers. She instantly hooked her arm with his, wondering when it had become so natural to do so. “You’re going?”
She nodded, feeling her heart skip a beat when she met his eyes. He smiled and looked back to the street with a shrug. “Then, sure.”
Sakura smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arm more around his. She didn’t let go of him until she reached the hospital. He gave her a wide smile that made her melt before walking back towards the Hokage Tower. It took her a moment to realize he had walked her the whole way there even though the Tower was in the opposite direction.
***
Naruto could see that he was on edge. He was quieter than usual. His shoulders weren’t relaxed and he didn’t slouch. He seemed agitated and just by his overly sarcastic answers to everyone, Naruto knew he was ready to snap. Naruto tried not to laugh as he watched him, knowing exactly what - who had set him off.
They were alone right now just going through paperwork. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and noticed his mood had shifted. He didn’t seem angry like he had all day and looked more rejected than anything. Naruto decided to take pity on him and told him bluntly, “She doesn’t love him, you know.”
He visibly tensed beside him and seemed to debate even responding. When he finally did, he said quietly, “That’s what she told me but…that was while he wasn’t here. I can’t help but wonder…”
Naruto was slightly surprised he had opened up about it to him. It wasn’t like he’d ever talked about Sakura with him before. But like everyone else, Naruto had seen how the two were around each other. Everyone just assumed. It was obvious to everyone besides the two involved.
Naruto chuckled and gave Shikamaru a grin when he looked over at him. He didn’t feel bad about what he was about to do. Sakura had told him in confidence, but this was for her benefit as much as it was for Shikamaru’s. “Sakura figured out she hadn’t ever loved Sasuke, because she found herself falling in love with someone else. The kind of selfless love where you only cared about whether that person was happy. Even if it was without you.”
He gave Shikamaru a knowing look and saw his eyes widen slightly. He looked away from Naruto and stared at the floor. Naruto could see the thought process in his mind and only a few seconds had passed before Shikamaru set down his papers on the desk. He didn’t even look at Naruto as he said, “I’ll be back after lunch.”
Naruto watched with a smile as Shikamaru hurried out the door not even closing it in his haste.
***
Shikamaru tried not to look out of place in the hospital as he walked towards Sakura’s office. It probably didn’t work since some of the medics were looking at him a little worriedly. But he didn’t really care about it now. He was almost to her office when he heard his voice.
“I don’t understand. You’ve confessed your love to me all of your life and suddenly you’re not interested anymore?”
Shikamaru stopped in his tracks, just steps away from her door. Her office was at the end of the hallway and no one else was around. He felt a nervousness run through his veins and he couldn’t talk himself out of leaning against the wall to listen.
He heard Sakura reply, “Sasuke, that was the crush of a twelve-year-old who thought she knew what true love was. This isn’t sudden either. I’ve…felt like this for years.”
“I’ll stop travelling if that’s the problem. Sakura, you’re one of very few people who I can trust. I can’t see myself with anyone else.” Sasuke persisted.
Sakura sighed and her voice was softer, apologetic. “That’s not the problem. I’m sorry, but I told you. I don’t love you, at least not like that.”
There was a silence and then Sasuke asked her, “You said you’re in love with someone else. What…” He paused like he was trying to find his words. “What made you fall for him?”
“He sees me,” she told him simply and Shikamaru could hear the smile in her voice. He leaned his head against the wall behind him and let out a short breath.
He hadn’t even made the conscious decision to do it, but his feet were already taking him to the door. He knocked on the door and heard someone move away from it on the other side. Sakura called out, “Come in!”
He opened the door and saw her sitting at her desk. He smiled when he saw pink hair escaping her ponytail. In the back of his mind he wondered if it would ever stay in place. She looked up at him and her face instantly brightened making his heart skip a beat. “Shika!”
“Hey.” He glanced at Sasuke who was standing near the door. He feigned nonchalance as he leaned against the door frame. “Am I interrupting?”
Sasuke just stared at him and Shikamaru vaguely felt like he was being reassessed. Not that he cared in the slightest what Sasuke thought of him. He looked back at Sakura and she was standing up from her desk. She shook her head and he could see pink dusting her cheeks. “No. Sasuke just dropped by to talk to me about something.”
Sasuke glanced at her, but she wasn’t even looking at him. Shikamaru looked between the two of them. “Well, then, I could come back later?”
Sakura finally looked to Sasuke with a small smile. “No, we were finished. Right, Sasuke?” she asked him, but her eyes told him it wasn’t a question.
Sasuke stared at her for a second, before nodding. He gave Shikamaru a tight smile. “Yeah, I was just about to leave.” He nodded to both of them then left the room slipping past Shikamaru without another look.
Sakura watched him go but when her eyes landed back on Shikamaru her smile turned soft. She moved some papers around her desk and asked, “Did you take your lunch early?”
Shikamaru nodded and stepped towards her. “I did. Think I can steal you away for a while?”
Sakura pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Depends.”
He rolled his eyes at her and grabbed her elbow. He sighed. “I’ll buy you some dango?”
She acted like she was debating it, but still let him tug her towards him and snake an arm around her waist. She smiled up at him and leaned into him, wrapping an arm around his torso. “Well, alright.”
He chuckled and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Troublesome woman.”
She laughed as he led out the door. But they both knew he didn’t mind spending a dime on her.
***
She didn’t know when this had become normal for them, natural. They weren’t a couple. They didn’t kiss when they said goodbye or hold hands underneath tables. But when she came back into her living room to see him sprawled across her couch, she crawled on top of him instead of simply moving his feet aside.
He didn’t seem to think anything of it either and adjusted an arm to wrap around her as she laid on his chest. She looked curiously at the book in his other hand. “What’re you reading?”
He shrugged beneath her, turning the book over in his hand. “I don’t know. Kakashi gave it to me.”
Sakura looked up at him and raised her eyebrows. She saw the tips of his ears turn red and he looked away from her. “Not Icha Icha. It’s still a romance though, I think. But from what I’ve read, it doesn’t seem like smut.”
Sakura laughed and laid her head back down. “I didn’t know you read love stories, Shika.”
“I don’t.” He chuckled. “I don’t know why Kakashi insisted I read it. But I was bored and had it on me so I started reading it. It’s not that bad.”
Sakura was quiet for a moment and then she asked him shyly, “Will you read it to me?”
“I’m already half way through it. Didn’t you want to take a nap before you had to go to work?”
She sighed, her finger absentmindedly tracing shapes on his shirt. She shrugged “Your voice is soothing. I’ll probably fall asleep in a few minutes.”
His hand came up to run his fingers through her hair. She could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “I’ll start it over anyway.”
She smiled against him and closed her eyes. She flattened her hand across his chest, feeling the thump of his heart underneath her palm. She listened to his voice and thought she’d fall asleep right away, but found herself interested in the story. A few minutes passed and she opened her eyes. She angled her head to where she could see his eyes and watched him read to her.
It was the most content she had ever felt and it ended too soon. The couple hours she had before she needed to leave flew by and she stared disappointedly at her wall clock. She picked her head up and interrupted him with a quick kiss on the lips. “Sorry, Shika, but story time’s over. I have to leave.”
She moved off him and only hallway off the couch did she realize what she did. She only had a second to panic before she felt his hand grab hers and pull her back down to him. He kissed her and she faintly heard the book hit the floor. He had an arm around her waist holding her flush against him and his other hand entangled in her hair. His lips were gentle but demanding as they moved with hers. He made her feel lightheaded and warm and she never wanted to leave his side.
When she broke away for air, though, she remembered why she had been leaving. She gave him another sweet kiss before telling him, “I really have to go, you know.”
He chased after her lips as she tried to pull away. “I’ll make you dinner when you get off.”
She smiled and gave him one last kiss before escaping out of his arms. “Okay.”
She gave him one last look, seeing his warm smile before heading out of the apartment. She hadn’t needed to say anything to him. Anything she’d ever tried to think of to tell him just never meant enough. But he knew. He knew from the smile she only gave him. The way she wrapped herself around him. How she always sought him out and stuck to his side.
She knew he felt the same as well. He told her in how he touched her. The warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. That kiss that left her breathless. He held her close to him in so many ways. With just the brush of his skin against hers, he told her he loved her. He saw her for all she was and still loved every bit. They didn’t need words.