Passion and pornography
Kikaichu weren’t quite mosquitos. Ninja weren’t quite hitmen. Medic nin weren’t quite doctors. Shamal knew this very well.
But they were close enough, and Shamal considered himself an adaptable man. He was, after all, a Mist. He knew how to live this life, and he knew how to count his blessings.
There were, he thought, considerably worse things that could have happened after he died than being reincarnated into a life not terribly unlike his previous one. The part of him that had never quite managed to shake his Catholic upbringing had vaguely expected hellfire and demons with pitchforks.
Although considering Reborn’s continued presence in his life those things probably weren’t out of the question either. He made a mental note to suggest it next time his old friend got bored.
It wasn’t quite the life he was used to. He had a clan now for one thing, he had responsibilities, he had a clan and a village to owe loyalty to when he’d spent the entirety of his first life as an independent operator, answering to no-one but himself. It was an adjustment.
A part of him, the same part that had spent his whole previous life avoiding responsibilities like everyone else avoided the plague, had briefly considered becoming a missing nin. But really there was far too much hassle involved what with the hunter nins and the irregular employment, and the death orders that came with walking away from your village. Totally not worth it, and as a competent medic nin, of which there was apparently a shortage, he could basically name his terms when it came to his employment contract.
Besides, sticking with Konoha in particular had its perks. So many of his old friends and acquaintances had reincarnated there, could he really expect the same level of entertainment from anywhere else. There was Reborn and the rest of the arcobaleno, the Varia, pretty much all of the Vongola tenth generation including that brat Hayato that he would never admit out loud he had become attached to. Basically all the fun people. That Mist girl Haru had actually been reborn as his niece, or at least some form of relative that abbreviated to niece for general convenience. He hadn’t really had a chance to get to know her before… events, but enforced proximity back before they really managed to reconnect with the rest of their social circle had given them plenty of time to bond.
He found he rather approved of her as it turned out. She had a classically misty sense of humour, and a creative streak that was always entertaining. Her kichaichu had coloured butterfly wings that could be used to make her look… however she wanted really, to make anything look however she wanted, and when they flew in particular patterns they had a hypnotic effect that clan elders had quietly compared to the sharingan. It was considered almost as vicious a twist on the traditional clan jutsu’s as Shamal’s own, and he had all the hard work of his past life to draw on. It was impressive. Shamal was so proud.
…
Of course, not least of the perks to staying in Konoha was the fact that the women’s side of Konoha’s public baths was gratifyingly easy to spy on. He would have found it almost suspicious how many convenient vantage points there were if a chance encounter hadn’t made it obvious it was a simple case of government corruption at work.
Jiraiya of the Sannin was apparently a fellow enthusiast of the female form. Accidentally tripping over each other outside the hot springs had led to them fleeing together from a stampede of furious kunoichi. It had been a bonding experience. Jiraiya had even given him a set of signed copies of his famous adult book series after they’d managed to give the mob the slip. Meeting a kindred spirit was always fun.
Shamal also had the sneaking suspicion that Jiraiya would make an excellent meat shield if Tsunade of the Sannin ever came back to take over the hospital. Something told him she wouldn’t appreciate some of the changes he’d made since gaining a position of authority.
It wasn’t like he’d done anything immoral exactly. Not by ninja standards. Using unoccupied examination rooms to shoot porn in the dead of night was really just efficient useage of resources as well as being a very profitable sideline. Naughty nurses and hot doctors were a classic, who was he to deny the public what they wanted, and as for any hygiene concerns, well, what were medical students for if he couldn’t make them scrub down the hospital at unreasonable hours of the morning.
And ok, maybe he let the various film crews use the hospital noticeboards to advertise auditions, but really, it wasn’t a bad way for bored ninja on the injured lists to make a bit of extra cash while they couldn’t pick up actual ninja work, while working off some of their pent up frustration at the same time. It was really a win win situation. Certainly it had to be better than working at the mission desk.
Still, from what he’d heard, Tsunade was a. a bit of a prude, b. had a somewhat explosive temper, and c. was capable of punching holes clear through small mountains, so offering Jiraiya free tickets to the screenings of his choice was really just a good investment. As well as being an immense amount of fun. Jiraiya really did have the best script ideas, even if he was about 80% sure he’d ripped the plot for that one porno straight from the life of Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, a whole lifetime later and still scoring all the chicks no-one else was crazy enough to get close to. After all, good artists borrow, ninja artists steal, and then add better special effects. After about an hour of knowing Jiraiya Shamal was already considering proposing a collaborative project, maybe something with suggestive weaponry, in a ninja village that was always a winner.
So to recap Shamal had a steady job, amusing friends, a sideline that was both profitable and enjoyable, and now a new friend who shared his interests. Yes, overall he rather thought he’d lucked out on the afterlife front. After all, Kikaichu weren’t quite mosquitos. Ninja weren’t quite hitmen. Medic nin weren’t quite doctors, but as it turned out, porn was still porn no matter what universe you were in.