Lee didn't have time to think. He just acted. If he hesitated even a second, the Kazekage may fall.
He opened all 8 gates. He was conditioned to think the only time to open all 8 gates was to protect someone special. The Kazekage was the most special person Gaara could think of and he would gladly put his life on the line to protect him.
The battle with their opponent had been most furious, raging on for hours without stop. Gaara's chakra was so low, even Lee could tell. He was on his hands and knees panting. Most of his chakra was being used as a barrier to protect the sand village behind them. He couldn't keep this up much longer.
So Lee acted.
Guy-sensei was right about one thing, opening all 8 gates was possibly the most painful thing he had done. The aura around him was a crimson red, as his blood vapor poured into the aura around him. Guy-sensei taught him this last move. He was in front of Gaara in the blink of an eye. Gaara glanced up with wide eyes, terrified of what he saw of Lee.
"Lee! Don't!" But Lee couldn't listen to the Kazekage this time. This time he needed to protect the most precious thing in his life.
By the time Gaara had enough energy to push himself up, the attack was landed. The enemy defeated, and Lee was laying completely destroyed on the pile of sand Gaara was able to conjure up catch him. Gaara went as fast as he could to Lee. He knew these would be Lee's final moments. He couldn't die here!
"Lee!" Gaara was out of breath, Lee was limp, barely breathing. "Lee..." Gaara collapsed by Lee's side, all of Gaara's chakra was depleted and he was no longer able to hold up the wall of sand. He grabbed Lee's hand, he was burning hot. He looked burnt but he was still alive. "Lee, why?" Lee had enough energy to ask for one thing.
"Kiss?" His voice croaked and Gaara was surprised at his final request. Why would he want a kiss? Gaara didn't think twice though, he kissed Lee's lips before Lee died right in front of him.
Gaara felt a burning feeling on his wrist and pulled away with a grunt. He pushed up his sleeve and noticed something.
Rock Lee
It was now written in beautiful script on his right wrist in red ink.
That couldn't be.
"Lee!" Gaara shook Lee's body and Lee made a final whimper. Gaara looked to Lee's wrist.
Sabaku no Gaara
Red ink.
"No... No... No! Lee!" Suddenly he felt a dull ache in his wrist. He looked into Lee's eyes until he saw them glaze over. His body turned cold and his tattoo faded from red to black.
Lee.
His soulmate.
Was dead.
How tragic. What were the chances of this? Gaara and Lee just skated around each other both ignoring the lingering feeling of want each time they were in each other's presence. Only to find out that they were soulmates. If they kissed earlier they would've known.
Gaara didn't go home that night. He was hollow. His body hurt to the core. He didn't know what would've hurt more. If he lost Lee with an established soulmate bond or now.
Not wanting to think anymore, he laid next to the body and fell asleep, completely drained of his chakra.
When he slept, he dreamt of Lee. Of each time they spent together, even from the first moment they met. He wished it were different.
Waking up, he was in the hospital. Temari and Kankuro were there and there was clearly a mood change in the room when they saw he was awake.
"Gaara!" Temari jumped up and was at his side in an instant. "You've been asleep for almost a week."
"Did I miss the funeral?" Gaara asked quietly. Temari pushed her eyebrows together and then she realized what he was asking.
"Yeah... He was sent back to his village to be buried." She said quietly and Gaara stared at the ceiling, void of emotion. It was too much at this point. He was numb. He couldn't handle it. He was in shock.
"He was my soulmate." Gaara said quietly. "Found out just before he died."
"Gaara, I... I am so sorry." Her words meant nothing. Lee was still dead.
"Did they do an autopsy?" He asked and Temari and Kankuro looked at each other. "I would like to read it." Temari didn't want to deny her brother but she felt that it was a cruel thing for him to do to himself. She hadn't read the autopsy but when they saw the body they knew he was dead. She set out to find it.
When Gaara finally got his hands on the autopsy he was shaking. His cause of death was because of the injuries Gaara inflicted on him so many years ago. It wasn't clear if Lee would've survived without them, but his healed arm and leg shattered once Lee opened the gates from the sheer force of it. With his chakra circulating so quickly through his body, the broken bone fragments tore him up from the inside.
Gaara put the autopsy down and laid still.
***
Everything was black. Gaara felt like he was in a void. That sounded about right. He couldn't imagine anything to dream about.
A figure appeared in front of him. She didn't have many features, she had a womanly voice, however.
"Who are you?" Gaara asked and crossed his arms.
"I can grant any wish. What would you like?" She asked and Gaara knew instantly.
"I wish for Lee."
"I cannot bring back the dead."
"Can I have one more day with him?"
"I will send you back in your memories." Gaara saw black.
***
When Gaara could see again, he was standing on the balcony at the Chunin Exams. Lee was already standing on the ground with his sensei. He was giving him a pep-talk, like normal. Gaara was uncomfortable with how small he felt, he forgot what it was like to be 12.
Gaara felt his body move and before he knew it, he was standing in front of Lee. Lee looked determined and when they said to fight, Gaara couldn't move. He stood with his arms crossed and watched in wonder with how Lee moved. He was graceful even back then.
It brought tears to his eyes.
When Lee landed the first kick, it shocked Gaara for a different reason. He could feel it. He could feel it exactly how it was so long ago.
The battle raged on and Gaara couldn't control what he did, he just did it based on what happened so long ago.
When Lee did the primary lotus, Gaara almost cried again, being so close to Lee, feeling his warmth. He knew it shouldn't be comforting, but it was.
Gaara didn't want to do it. Guy-sensei stepped in and stopped the fight, Gaara laid on the floor. He saw his sand reach Lee's hand and leg. He was screaming at himself. Don't do it. Don't hurt Lee.
He clenched his fist and the last thing he heard were Lee's screams.
***
"How did you sleep?" Gaara looked over to see Temari.
"I had a dream." Gaara said quietly. "Someone said they would grant me any wish I wanted. I asked to see Lee one more time... I could only see him in my memories though, the memory was when I hurt him at the Chunin Exams... I wish I could see him again." Gaara admitted as he looked up and Temari sat down next to him and held his hand.
***
The next time Gaara fell asleep, he found the same presence in his dream.
"I can grant any wish. What would you like?"
"I would like to see Lee again, is it possible that I could interact with him this time? Can I not be completely stuck in my memories?" He asked and everything went black again.
***
Gaara was back at the Chunin exams, he was standing across from Lee, they were on the battlefield.
"Lee!" Gaara said loudly. Lee didn't flinch. Almost like he didn't hear him at all. "I don't want to fight you." But the fight had started just as it always had. Lee charged after him, the sand deflected his every attack. "Lee, please. Can you hear me?"
Gaara looked up in the stands but no one paid attention to him talking. They were all watching the fight as they had always been.
"I won't fight you." Gaara said quietly but his sand continued the onslaught. Beating Lee had been simple enough before he removed the weights.
Once Lee took his weights off, Gaara sighed in resignation. Fighting Lee was one of his biggest regrets in life. Not because he almost lost, but because he hurt Lee in such a way that he almost ruined the boy's chance at his dream. At the time, it didn't bother him at all, but looking back on it, it was painful to watch. Gaara watched the fight as it happened, just because he was able to talk now didn't make it so he could control his actions. Funny, if he fought the 12 year old Lee with his fighting style now, he would've been able to fight Lee off easily and not hurt him too bad.
Gaara couldn't stop his counter attacks. He did talk through them though.
"Do you remember the fight with Kimimaro? The one I came to help you with? I feel like almost every fight where you and I were allies I worked harder to protect you from anything because of this fight." Gaara admitted. He braced himself to be kicked in the face. Lee may not be up to par with his strength now, but he really knew how to land a powerful kick.
The fight raged on around Gaara and he wanted nothing more than to stop it. It was almost torture how he was able to look at his soulmate but only through this one memory over and over again. Gaara wanted to wake up just so he didn't have to finish the dream and hear Lee's screams again, but he was weak and seeing Lee at all was better than nothing.
"I don't want this." Gaara said as his sand crawled across the floor and spread up Lee's arm and leg. Gaara's hand raised and he clenched it, shattering the bones easily. Lee's screams ripped through the air and then-
Gaara woke up.
***
Gaara wasn't getting any better as the days passed. He was irritable and he lashed out more often than not. Most of his time was spend staring at his wrist seeing Lee's name written there in beautiful, black script.
No one wanted to go near him right now which was more than fine to him. He didn't want anyone but Lee right now anyway and he couldn't get that.
Gaara remembered when he was younger and his uncle told him about Soulmates and Gaara was amazed with the concept. Yashamaru told him that their name would engrave on your skin in a beautiful red color if you kissed your soulmate. The thought of finding a soulmate was the coolest thing his younger self could dream of. To finally not be alone. To have the person you love most in the world with you forever even if it was just an engraving on the wrist.
When Yashamaru died, he told Gaara to give up on the dream of finding his soulmate because no one would love a demon like him. Gaara did.
From that point on Gaara decided his only soulmate would be himself so he used the same color red to write love on his forehead. He didn't need the red on his wrist, he had red elsewhere. For a while Gaara supposed he was able to trick himself into believing that.
***
Everyone around him was surprised when Gaara actively sought out to fall asleep. Usually he just stayed awake but now he needed to sleep. He needed to be able to see Lee again. Gaara was able to get his hands on sleeping pills which worked sometimes. Other times he had to up the dosage but eventually he was greeted with the same presence in all of his dreams.
Gaara had lived that day in his dreams 13 times already. He knew every attack that happened and could stop every movement had it been the original fight. He knew where Lee was at all times. He knew where he was even after he took off his weights and was essentially teleporting he was so fast.
When the dream was coming to a close, Gaara would force himself awake right before he could hear Lee's screams of anguish.
And still, the next day, he would take more sleeping pills to get right back into the dream.
***
"I can grant any wish. What would you like?"
"Is it possible for Lee to talk to me too? Can we control our actions this time?"
"That wouldn't be a memory."
"I just want to talk to him."
Gaara was thrown into the flashback again and he was breathing a lot heavier than normal.
"Do not faint yet, the fight has not started!" Lee said with a grin from the other side of the arena.
"Lee?" Gaara's voice was slightly hysterical.
"Uh, yes?" Lee got out of his fighting position despite the fight starting already.
"Lee! You're here!" Lee tilted his head to the side.
"Um. Yes. We are fighting. Of course I am here. Are you ready? Are you alright?" Leave it to Lee to make sure his opponent was okay before fighting them.
"Lee, I..." Gaara looked down at his wrist. Rock Lee was written there, but it was black. "Lee, we're soulmates."
"That is impossible, we have never kissed before!" Lee insisted with a blush on his cheeks.
"We did. Right before you died." Gaara's eyes glazed over with emotions. "You died protecting me and all you wanted was a kiss." Gaara held up his wrist. "And I was left with this."
"That is my name!" Lee said with a surprised expression. He walked over to Gaara and held Gaara's arm. It almost burned. "You have my name on your wrist."
"I do. Because you're my soulmate." Gaara said quietly and Lee pulled his sleeves back. On the same wrist, Gaara was written in a blood red color.
"Your name. It is here. And it is written in such a lively color of blood." Lee said softly. "You are my soulmate." Lee hugged him tightly.
Gaara woke up.
More like he was forced to wake up.
"Oh Gaara! Thank god!" Temari clenched the area near her heart. There were tears in her eyes. "Oh my god, Gaara. Don't do that again!"
"Do what?" Gaara asked, surprisingly innocently.
"Gaara, I thought you tried to kill yourself." She admitted quietly and Gaara frowned.
"Why did you think that?"
"You've been asleep for 14 hours now and we found a lot of sleeping medication in your system." Temari admitted and Gaara looked over at the empty bottle. He may have taken a bit more than he was supposed to but he wanted to sleep.
"I didn't mean to scare you." He said softly. "I just needed to sleep."
"Why? You never had to before." Temari pointed out and Gaara looked at the floor but didn't respond. "I'm going to fill in for the Kazekage until you feel better. You need some help, Gaara. I know it's painful to lose a soulmate but you can't just do things like this."
"You know it's painful?" Gaara asked slowly then grabbed her own wrist where Nara Shikamaru was written in bright red. "Are you sure you know? He looks pretty alive to me." Gaara said and let go of her wrist. "You shouldn't have woken me up. I would've gotten up on my own."
"Well I didn't know that! Gaara you've been sleeping longer and longer since everything happened. I didn't know that you WOULD wake up!" Gaara laid down and turned away from her, facing the wall. "Gaara..."
"Temari, please leave." Her face hardened but she nodded and left the room. There was no sense in talking to him if he wasn't going to listen. She'd just try again later.
Gaara's heart ached. He was so close to Lee. He could touch him. He could talk to him, damn it!
***
Gaara seemed to sleep longer and longer. His dreams consumed his life. If he wasn't dreaming about Lee, he was daydreaming about dreaming about Lee.
The 13th day in a row that he started being able to interact with Lee, he slept an entire day.
Gaara and Lee sat next to each other on the arena floor of the Chunin exams and just talked. Lee seemed to remember where they left off each time Gaara woke up and they went right back to it.
Gaara told Lee all about his life. Everything he went through. How difficult it was to grow up with Shukaku.
Lee didn't say much besides words of encouragement. After a while, it just didn't feel like Lee anymore. Gaara was struck with the realization that this Lee couldn't tell him stories about Lee that Gaara didn't know already. This wasn't Lee, this was all of Gaara's memories of Lee in one vessel in his mind.
"Before I died," Lee began and Gaara looked over at him. This was the first time Lee even mentioned something about his death. "I knew I was in love with you. I gave my life up for you because you are my special person."
"I wish you didn't. I wish you were here with me." Gaara said quietly and Lee nodded.
"I am sorry for hurting you. I just wanted to protect you so badly I did not think of how hard it would be for you to live without me. I never thought someone would be my soulmate. Thank you for letting me know I had one before I died." Gaara shook his head.
"If you lived longer, you would've figured it out before then. And I wouldn't be alone anymore." Lee frowned.
"You are not alone, Gaara. Sure, I am not there right now. But I will be in your mind, your heart and on your wrist, always. You have so many people who are worried about you. Temari is by your side when she is not overseeing as Kazekage, Kankuro is by your side every day, the villagers are starting to realize your presence is not there anymore and they are worried. You just lost one person, you have many."
"I lost the most important one." Lee shook his head.
"I do not believe that. Please, Gaara. I am dead. Do not waste your time with me. Please do not waste the gift of life I have given you by sacrificing myself. Live your life." Gaara didn't respond. "Gaara?"
"I don't want to live my life without you here." Gaara admitted.
"You will have to." Gaara shook his head.
"I refuse."
"Gaara, you are not doing anyone any favors by sleeping every day, all day. Your body is weak, everything is going downhill. I did not die so you could die too!" Lee shouted in the end, finally snapping.
"I didn't ask you to die!"
"But I did and there is no way to change that! So stop it! Wake up!" Gaara frowned. He didn't want to wake up. "Please Gaara, wake up. Leave this behind."
"I don't want to wake up."
"You have to. If you do not wake up, eventually you will kill yourself." Lee's voice broke.
"... I'll see you again." Gaara promised and Lee's mouth pressed into a thin line.
"I refuse." Lee whispered. "I love you but I cannot do this anymore. You need to live. I am dead. Do not waste your time. Wake up."
"I told you I don't want to-" Lee did the only thing he knew would wake Gaara up. The sound of Lee's anguished screams filled Gaara's ears.
Gaara was jerked out of his dream and sat straight up on the bed breathing heavily.
"Gaara! Thank god." Kankuro hugged his younger brother tightly. "You almost died!"
"What?"
"Your heartbeat was slowing down so much you almost died. Don't scare me like that again!" Gaara looked down at his wrist and traced Lee's name with his finger. "You see Lee in your dreams, don't you? That's why you want to sleep?"
"Yes." Gaara said simply and frowned. "He told me that he died to protect me and I was wasting his life by not living mine."
"He's right." Kankuro said softly. "I'm sure it hurts, but he wanted to give his life for you. If you don't live your life, he did that for nothing."
"I know." Gaara nodded slowly. "I just wish I could see him one more time. That's my problem. I keep wanting to see him just one more time. I didn't realize I wanted it so much I almost died."
"Gaara, I'm here for you, you know that, right?" Gaara nodded and his big brother sighed and hugged him. It was always strange when his siblings hugged him as if they weren't terrified of him for years. It was a comforting feeling to be hugged. Usually Lee...
Gaara leaned into the hug more and hugged his brother back. Kankuro was surprised but didn't say anything.
"I know you can make Lee proud." Kankuro whispered and Gaara nodded slowly. He would try to bring honor to Lee's name by working hard in his wake. It was just difficult.
***
A month later, Gaara was back as Kazekage. His sister was beaming with pride. The people in the village were happy their Kazekage had a clean bill of health and his brother was behind him every step of the way.
Gaara did his best to work at being a better Kazekage in so many regards, if only just to distract himself.
Meetings were painfully boring as always. He made sure to have dinners at least twice a week with his siblings. He would walk through the village and help randomly, if only just to feel how Lee did when Lee ran through the village on his daily run. He would always come back and tell Gaara how many people he helped. It was a nice feeling.
At night he would walk through the desert, feeling the wind in his hair and the cold wind sent a chill to his bones. His Kazekage robes were discarded and left in his room, he only wore his regular clothes. He stared in the direction where they fought their losing battle and when the sun peaked on the horizon, Gaara would walk back to the village before it became too hot.
There were nights he stared at the bottle of sleeping pills he had hidden in his drawer and he would just think about all of his dreams with Lee. Eventually he put the bottle back in the drawer and walk away.
Another month after, everyone was convinced that the Kazekage was back to normal. He handled affairs as he always had. He would host several meetings. He reached out to other kages.
Even Gaara had his own limits for his sanity. He just needed... One more.
"I can grant any wish. What would you like?"
"To see Lee. Just one more time. For one more day."