What freedom feels like

Caitlyn clutched Vi’s hand a little too tightly as they stepped down the attic stairs, every creak of the floorboards making her more aware of how little she was wearing. The nerves were hitting her in waves, amplified by the alcohol swirling in her system. She couldn’t help but think, I’m meeting Vi’s paternal figure for the first time in basically underwear. Brilliant, Caitlyn. Truly regal.

Vi glanced over, sensing her tension. “You okay?” she murmured, giving Cait’s hand a supportive squeeze.

Caitlyn forced a grin. “Totally,” she lied, then winced at how shrill her own voice sounded. “I just—he’s your dad, right? And this is, like, my grand entrance… in a crop top and a mini skirt. Not exactly how I pictured meeting family.”

Vi let out a soft chuckle, leaning in to whisper, “Trust me, Vander’s seen Powder come home in way more questionable outfits. You’ll be fine.”

They reached the last step and emerged into the living room, where Vander, Powder, Ekko, Mylo, and Claggor were waiting. Caitlyn’s pulse pounded in her ears. Stay calm, do not curtsy. Definitely do not curtsy. She practically pasted on a polite smile, shoulders drawn back in a royal bearing she couldn’t quite shake.

“Hey, you made it,” Vander greeted, stepping forward. His gaze landed on Cait, and he raised an eyebrow at her anxious posture. He shot Vi a quick look—equal parts teasing and curiosity—before turning his attention back to Caitlyn. “You must be the friend we’ve heard so much about.”

Caitlyn cleared her throat, rummaging for her best manners. “Yes, sir— I mean, hi, um, hello,” she said, voice trembling with the effort not to sound too proper. She held out her hand, then hesitated, uncertain if she should go for a handshake, a wave, anything. Her mind raced: God, I must look ridiculous. He can probably tell we just—

Vander’s deep chuckle broke through her inner monologue. “Easy there, kid.” He sidestepped her outstretched hand and pulled her into a brief, warm hug instead. “No need to be so nervous. Name’s Vander. Glad you’re tagging along tonight.” He passed her a bottle of water and then cast a pointed look around the group. “I’ll be waiting outside in the van while you guys go in, so Vi will look after you, okay?”

A chorus of nods followed. Vi rolled her eyes, but there was a flicker of affection in her grin. “Promise. I’ll keep everyone safe,” she said, sliding an arm around Cait’s waist in a quick, reassuring gesture.

Mylo stumbled forward first, half-tripping over his own feet. “Uh—so—hey,” he began, attempting a suave introduction and failing spectacularly. “I’m Mylo, which you probably already know, but in case you didn’t—well—hi.”

Caitlyn suppressed a giggle, a soft snort escaping her lips at how flustered he seemed. Claggor rolled his eyes and thumped Mylo on the back to straighten him up before turning to Cait.

“I’m Claggor,” he said with a warm nod. “And that’s Mylo. We’re Vi’s younger brothers.”

Mylo made a face. “Not that much younger,” he grumbled, adjusting his jacket.

Cait found herself smiling at their banter, relieved that not a single one of them had brought up her, well, unique background. She glanced across the room to Powder, who flashed her a knowing smile—clearly proud of herself for warning everyone to steer clear of the “princess” topic. Cait shot her a grateful look in return.

“Also,” Powder interjected loudly, “kudos on that outfit, Cait. You look hot—and I’m seriously impressed you got Vi in a thong. That’s, like, a miracle.”

All eyes swivelled to Vi’s hips, where the black thong peeked out above her low-rise shorts. Cait giggled as her hand made its way to Vi’s hip ever so softly, cheeks warming at the memory of that little dressing session. Vi, on the other hand, groaned and tugged her top down in a futile attempt to hide the evidence.

“Okay, shut it, the lot of you” Vi muttered, glaring good-naturedly at everyone.

Sensing Vi’s growing mortification, Vander clapped his hands together and stepped toward the door. “Alright, enough chatter. We’ve got a long drive, and I’m starting the van in about thirty seconds. Anyone who isn’t in their seat by then can walk.”

A small flurry of motion followed as they all shuffled toward the front door. Ekko and Mylo lugged a crate of drinks, Claggor checked something on his phone, and Vander headed outside to start the van. Just as they were about to pile in, Powder halted in the doorway.

“Wait!” she shouted. Everyone paused, turning back to see what was wrong. Powder ducked inside and rummaged around in her bedroom. She returned waving a handful of sunglasses like they were golden tickets. “Look, I just… thought these might help,” she said, distributing them among the group. She paused when she reached Caitlyn, pressing a pair of large tinted shades into her hands. “Y’know,” she added softly, “to cover your face, in case you’re worried about people recognising you. Also, they look totally badass.”

Caitlyn’s heart clenched at the small gesture. She managed a warm smile and perched the sunglasses on top of her head for now. “Thank you,” she said, her voice quieter, more sincere.

Powder just grinned. “No biggie. Now, c’mon, guys, rave time~!”

Caitlyn slipped her hand back into Vi’s, and with a swirling mix of terror and warmth in her chest, she followed them out to the van, reminding herself that tonight—Princess or not—she was just Cait. And with Vi by her side, that felt like more than enough.

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They’d been on the road for about half an hour, and the sun had just given way to a warm dusk. Little fairy lights strung across the ceiling of Vander’s van provided a soft, cozy glow in the otherwise dark interior. Vander, ever the pragmatist, had allowed everyone a few drinks—“better here, under my nose,” he’d said, “than stumbling around at the rave with no backup.”

The group had fallen into easy conversation between sips of cheap canned cocktails and stolen shots from one of Mylo’s many hidden flasks. Mylo was currently in the middle of a story about some girl in his class, gesturing wildly while Powder made increasingly sarcastic comments, and Ekko half-listened with a look of fond exasperation. Claggor was upfront with Vander, fiddling with the radio or scrolling through his phone to pick the soundtrack for their long journey everyone would approve of.

All the while, Vi and Cait cuddled together in the back row, fingers intertwining every time the van hit a bump. Despite the low chatter and bursts of laughter from the others, they seemed to be in their own pocket of quiet intimacy.

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Cait whispered, playing with the hem of Vi’s low-rise shorts. Her cheeks still glowed with the lingering buzz of alcohol and excitement.

Vi chuckled softly, leaning closer until her breath brushed Cait’s ear. “Hey, isn’t that what new uh best-friend-lovers do?” She teased, pulling back just enough to watch Cait’s face turn an even deeper shade of pink.

Cait slid her free hand over Vi’s bare thigh. “Best-friend-lovers? That’s a new one,” she murmured, trying not to grin.

Vi shrugged with an easy smirk. “Well, what am I supposed to call us? Intergalactic space pals?” She brought their joined hands to her lips, kissing Cait’s knuckles. “I’ll keep brainstorming.”

Cait lowered her gaze, trying to hide how flustered she felt. “You’re ridiculous,” she whispered, but there was no denying the warmth in her tone.

Vi gave her a playful nudge. “And you love it.”

They shared a quiet laugh. Outside, the sky was dark, but the fairy lights inside the van cast a soft glow on their faces.

Cait leaned her head on Vi’s shoulder, voice going a little shy. “So… what do you think this rave is actually going to be like? Given that I’ve never been to one, especially not out in the desert. Am I, like, wildly underdressed?”

Vi’s eyes roamed over Cait’s borrowed outfit, the short skirt, the tight tee, the thong peeking at her hips. “You’re perfect,” she said, her voice dropping. “And I can’t wait to see you dance.”

Cait’s cheeks warmed again, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll probably trip and fall on my face,” she joked. “You know, real smooth princess moves.”

Vi snorted, leaning in so their foreheads nearly touched. “If you do, I’ll pick you up. Promise.”

Cait’s smile turned softer, the humour fading to something more sincere. “Thank you,” she murmured, tracing circles on the back of Vi’s hand. “For everything. For making me feel normal.”

Vi squeezed her hand, eyes shining. “You are normal, Cait. To me, anyway.”

They paused, letting the hum of the van fill the space between them. A burst of Mylo’s laughter reminded them they weren’t alone, but it didn’t matter; the world outside their shared seat felt distant, secondary.

“By the way,” Cait added, trying not to laugh at her own nervousness, “I think Cait & Vi  has a better ring to it than… intergalactic space pals.”

Vi let out a playful scoff, lifting their joined hands above their heads like they were about to sway to music. “Alright, fine. We’ll use our real names, for now,” she teased. “But you can’t stop me from coming up with random nicknames whenever I want.”

Cait giggled, her thumb stroking the back of Vi’s hand. “I’d expect nothing less.”

Mylo turned to glance over his shoulder, presumably to get Vi’s take on his dramatic retelling, when he froze mid-sentence. His eyes widened, spotting Vi kissing a slow trail up Cait’s neck, and he promptly forgot whatever he’d been talking about. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he stammered, voice cutting through the chatter. “Hey, lovebirds in the back! Maybe get a room?”

Instantly, all eyes swung to the last row. Vi pulled back, face burning, though she didn’t let go of Cait’s hand. Cait, equally flustered, managed a breathy laugh.

Powder twisted around in her seat, arching an eyebrow. “Aw, is Vi being all cute and cuddly? Who’d have thought?”

Ekko snorted. “Right? Took her how long to finally show some PDA?”

Claggor smirked, looking through the rearview mirror. “Don’t let us interrupt you, though,” he teased, grinning at their interlocked fingers. “Just carry on.”

Vi groaned, trying to hide her red cheeks behind one hand. “Screw you guys,” she muttered, only half-serious.

Cait squeezed Vi’s hand; her own blush visible even in the dim light. She couldn’t help giggling at how mortified Vi looked - especially since Vi had been all confidence and charm not long ago.

From the driver’s seat, Vander cleared his throat, casting a quick glance in the rearview mirror. “Alright, enough, the lot of you,” he said in a warning tone. “You can tease Vi and Cait all you like after we get to the rave - and only if they’re still in a mood to hear it. Any more out of you right now, and I’ll turn this van around.”

A chorus of playful groans and laughs followed, and for a moment, the teasing simmered down. Vander gave a small satisfied nod and returned his attention to the road.

However, an exchange of looks and wiggly eyebrows between the three youngest and a fresh wave of laughter rippled through the van, Mylo snickering the loudest, barely able to contain himself. Vi let out a theatrical sigh, pressing a playful kiss to Cait’s temple before turning to glare - without much heat - at the peanut gallery. “Could you maybe mind your own business for, like, two seconds?” she asked, directing her annoyance squarely at Mylo.

He merely grinned. “Blink twice if Vi kidnapped you, Caitlyn,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “It’s the only explanation for her looking so happy back there.”

Powder leaned around her seat, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, no way she’s smiling that big without bribery or blackmail involved.”

From the seat next to Powder, Ekko drummed his fingers on the seat. “I’m betting on a mixtape,” he teased. “Vi’s been known to lure unsuspecting victims with her epic vinyls and cassettes.”

Claggor, attempting to keep a straight face, snorted. “Mixtape or not, she’s definitely overcompensating for those tragic flirting skills.”

“Hey, hey, that’s enough,” Vander cut in, flicking a glance at the rearview mirror while keeping one hand on the wheel. “Give Vi a break - at least she’s got some game. More than Mylo can say.”

The group roared with laughter all over again, Mylo tossing out protests that got drowned in the noise. Vi rolled her eyes but couldn’t completely hide a smile. She turned back to Cait, who was still giggling, cheeks flushed pink.

As the teasing finally started to subside, Cait inched closer, her voice dropping to a soft whisper meant just for Vi. “Vi…” she began, swallowing the bubble of nerves. “Does this mean we’re dating?”

Vi’s whole body tensed at Caitlyn’s question, her pulse thudding in her ears. She risked a glance at the rest of the group, but fortunately, they were momentarily wrapped up in their own drunken chatter. The warmth in Cait’s gaze nearly undid her, but she took a deep breath, her voice hushed with a mixture of nervous laughter and genuine care.

“We’re way too drunk to figure this out right now,” she whispered, leaning in so only Caitlyn could hear. “Let’s talk tomorrow - when we’re sober, okay?”

Caitlyn pouted a little, though a faint smile tugged at her lips. Before she could reply, Powder - seated directly in front of them and obviously eavesdropping—suddenly spun around, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Powder exclaimed, leaning over the seat. “You two just… y’know,” she added, grinning from ear to ear. “And you’re telling me you still can’t call her your girlfriend? What kind of lesbians are you?!”

Her outburst made the van erupt in noise. Ekko half-choked with laughter, sputtering, “Oh my god, you can’t just say that!”

Mylo was next, grinning like he’d just struck gold. “No, no—let her talk. She’s got a point!”

Meanwhile, Claggor, ever the peacekeeper, lifted his hands in a futile attempt to calm things down. “Okay, maybe they’re just, y’know, taking it slow—”

“Slow?” Powder cut him off with a giggle. “Didn’t look so slow earlier.”

A fresh wave of laughter rattled the van, sending Vi’s face into a deep flush. She managed to roll her eyes before bursting out, “You all better shut up, or I swear I’ll kick you out of this van - while it’s moving!”

The threat only fuelled more teasing, which Vi did her best to tune out. She turned back to Caitlyn, letting out a shaky breath as she took her hand.

“Tomorrow,” Vi repeated more gently now, leaning in closer to be heard over the continued joking. “I mean it. We’ll talk about everything tomorrow.”

Cait squeezed her hand in reassurance, a drunken giggle softening into something more tender. “Good,” she said, her eyes dropping briefly to Vi’s lips. “But for the record, I think I already know what you’re going to say.”

From the seat in front of them came a loud, exaggerated “Awwww!” as Powder twisted around, clearly still eavesdropping on every word. “I want to hear all about that at our next sister sleepover,” she announced, wiggling her eyebrows.

Caitlyn smiled, cheeks heating as she clutched Vi’s thigh a little tighter. Vi let out a dramatic groan, rolling her eyes. “Of course you do,” she muttered. Then, with a dismissive wave of her free hand, she tried to shoo Powder back around. Powder lingered for a second longer—just enough to flash a mischievous grin—before finally turning forward.

Seizing the moment, Vi gently cupped Cait’s chin and guided her into a slow, soft kiss. The hum of the road and the muffled chatter of the others faded, and Cait’s heart fluttered at the gentle press of Vi’s lips.

Behind them, Ekko caught sight of Powder, still half-turned in her seat and quickly nudged her. “Yo, babe, check out those stars,” he said, pointing out the window in an effort to direct her attention elsewhere. Powder snickered but obliged, leaving Vi and Cait in their brief, blissful bubble of warmth.

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Vander kept his eyes mostly on the road, but every so often, he’d flick his gaze to the rearview mirror. From that small reflection, he could see Vi and Cait cuddled up in the far back seat, giggling and whispering like nobody else existed. A tiny, involuntary smile touched his face.

Claggor, in the passenger seat, noticed Vander’s expression. “It’s something, huh?” he said quietly, not wanting the rest of the van to catch their conversation. “Seeing Vi… happy again.”

Vander nodded, a low hum rumbling in his chest. “Feels like it’s been ages since she smiled like that—really smiled. Almost forgot how loud and alive she could be.”

“Yeah,” Claggor agreed, his gaze drifting out the window for a moment. Then he glanced back at the rearview mirror as well, taking in the sight of Vi nuzzling her face against Cait’s hair. “She’s been… different ever since—” He paused, not wanting to name Vi’s former girlfriend and all the tragedy tied to it. “But now, it’s like she’s found a new spark.”

Vander’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. “Mm,” he acknowledged. He let the moment settle before voicing his doubts. “I just can’t help but worry, y’know. This time, it’s not some high school rumour - Cait is a well-known, high-profile public figure. And last time, we saw how Vi crashed when she was outed on a small scale, just within the school. What happens when the entire world finds out she’s with… a princess?” This was the first time Vander had used the word, still not entirely sure how Vi managed to gain the attention of true royalty.

Claggor drew in a slow breath. “I’m not gonna lie - there’s risk. But Vi’s not the same person she was last time. She’s going to therapy, for one. She’s got all of us in her corner, for two. And…” he tilted his head toward the back, “look at Caitlyn. She’s already so open to us - she’s letting herself be vulnerable, joking with Powder, taking part in our madness. She’s not trying to keep Vi all to herself or whisk her away.”

Vander’s gaze flickered to the mirror again. Vi had an arm looped around Cait’s shoulders, and Cait kept leaning in to whisper something that made them both giggle. “Sarah wanted to isolate her,” Vander murmured, voice thick with memory. “Shut her off from the family. That was half of why it ended so badly. Vi lost her support, felt like she couldn’t come to us. Then when everything blew up…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

Claggor laid a reassuring hand on Vander’s shoulder. “That’s not happening this time, Dad. Just look, Caitlyn’s already out here joking with Powder, letting Mylo tease her, even though she barely knows us. She’s in the thick of it, and Vi’s not alone.”

A faint smile curved Vander’s mouth. He exhaled, nodding slowly. “You’re right.” He let out a small, amused huff, turning towards his son.  “You’re always the calm one, Claggor - got that level head like your mother. Helps me see past all the doubts.”

Claggor shrugged, a gentle, sincere grin on his face. “Someone’s gotta keep everyone from spiralling, right?”

They exchanged a quiet laugh, the hum of the road beneath them. Outside, the darkness stretched on, but the inside of the van glowed with fairy lights and the warm promise of a night where, maybe, hope could outweigh fear.

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They arrived at the desert rave just as the music pulsed through the open air, neon lights cutting the darkness in vivid streaks. The crowd was already huge, people funnelling into makeshift gates and swirling around food trucks and merchandise stands. The ground vibrated beneath their feet with the bass drops.

Vander parked the van in a relatively secluded spot and turned off the ignition. As everyone piled out, he turned toward Caitlyn with a gentle but firm nod. “I’ll be just outside the gates here the whole time,” he said, his gaze settling on her. “Got my phone, got snacks. If anyone needs anything, or if things get out of hand, you know where to find me.”

Caitlyn glanced around the vast desert, swallowing hard at the sea of bodies amassing at the gates. “Thank you,” she said softly, aware that he was mainly talking to her.

Vander straightened, turning his attention now to the entire group. “Remember, Vi’s in charge once you’re inside. If anything happens to Vi, Claggor’s in charge.”

A dramatic groan escaped Mylo as he tossed his hands in the air. “Dad, We’re twins! Why does he always get to be the ‘older’ one?”

Vander shrugged. “Means you can enjoy the music more, Mylo.”

Mylo paused, considering. “Well… yeah, I do like the music more.” He seemed to forget his protest just as quickly, earning an amused eye-roll from nearly everyone.

Powder leaned in close to Caitlyn, bumping her shoulder. “Keep those sunglasses on, okay? It’s dark, I know, but there are bound to be a few people here that might recognise you.

Caitlyn nodded, hesitating as she looked over the neon-lit crowd. “Right. Good point,” she mumbled, tugging the sunglasses lower on her nose. “I, um, also never mentioned I’d be here tonight.” She winced a little. “I… may have snuck out.”

Vi cast her a sideways look—half rebuke, half admiration. “Seriously, Cait? That’s—” She let out a short laugh. “That’s kinda badass.”

Cait’s cheeks warmed, and she shrugged apologetically. Vander gave them both a small nod, crossing his arms. “Then be extra careful,” he said quietly, his voice carrying a note of concern. “Not because you’re—” He stopped just short of saying more, then simply finished with, “Just take care of yourselves, alright?”

Caitlyn’s chest tightened in gratitude. He hadn’t said “princess” once. “I will,” she promised, giving him a small smile.

Vander exhaled and glanced at his watch. “I’ll set my timer for two in the morning. That’s when it’s supposed to end, right? If anything changes, Vi, let me know.”

Vi nodded. “Thanks, Vander,” she murmured, before taking Cait’s hand and leading the way toward the swirling rainbow of lights.

Inside, the music hit them like a wave, all thundering bass and pounding drums. Crowds of people, half-glowing in neon paint or LED accessories, bobbed together in a relentless dance. Mylo and Claggor flanked Vi and Cait, almost by instinct—like protective bodyguards. Powder and Ekko signalled they were heading closer to the stage to get a video and promised to come back soon. In no time, Vi was guiding Cait into the thick of the mosh, the two of them enveloped in the crowd’s euphoric energy.

Caitlyn’s senses buzzed: lights flashed overhead, sweat and dust thickened the air, and every vibration of the bass rattled her bones. She could feel Vi’s arm loop around her waist from behind, holding her steady against the press of people. The warmth of Vi’s body pressed close, guiding her hips to the rhythm, and Cait let out a breathless laugh.

She let her arms rise, swaying to the electronic beat, feeling each pulse as though it echoed in her chest. Surrounded by strangers who couldn’t care less who she was, Cait felt freer than she had in years. With every swirl of colour and every drop of the song, she ground back against Vi a little more, her head tilting so they could exchange elated grins.

A few hours of dancing melted into a hazy rush of neon lights and rattling bass. Somewhere in the blur, Mylo had produced a smuggled flask, and Vi and Cait took turns tipping it back between songs, shooting each other mischievous grins each time the liquor burned its way down their throats. The crowd pulsed around them, half-lost to the night’s delirious energy, and neither girl paid much attention to anything beyond the music and each other.

By now, the lenses of Cait’s sunglasses felt too dark for the heady glow of the strobes. In a tipsy, absent-minded moment, she shoved them on top of her head, never really noticing the significance of uncovering her face. Vi didn’t notice either - too wrapped up in the thrill of Cait’s closeness, the taste of the flask still lingering on both their tongues.

When another track faded into a new surge of bass, Caitlyn gave Vi a wobbly smile, leaning in. “I love this,” she murmured, her breath warm against Vi’s ear. Vi laughed breathlessly, hooking an arm around Cait’s waist. Her eyes flicked to Cait’s flushed cheeks, but she was far too caught up in the moment to realise that Cait’s face was now fully visible to anyone who cared to look.

They pressed closer, dancing together through the next song, shoulders bumping, fingertips trailing down each other’s arms. Then, in a whirl of spotlights and swirling LED gear, Cait’s grin lit up like she’d just discovered a secret. She reached for Vi’s chin, pulling her in for a sudden, deep kiss that crackled with alcohol and adrenaline. Vi didn’t hesitate; she kissed back with a fervour that left them both breathless, their bodies practically moulded together.

Behind them, Claggor shook his head, half-smiling, while Mylo paused mid-groove to gawk. But for once, he held his tongue, choosing instead to raise the flask in a small, silent salute. Powder and Ekko were lost somewhere in the mosh, capturing videos of the stage lights and Fred again behind the decks.

One more track bled seamlessly into another, and then the telltale intro of Delilah thundered across the speakers. Cait squealed, pulling away just enough to blink in excitement. “Oh my god, Vi—this is it!” she half-yelled, eyes shining like she might burst from happiness. Only then did she step back, fully turning around to face the stage, her sunglasses perched uselessly atop her hair. Vi, head spinning from the liquor and the kiss, didn’t register the significance. She only registered Cait—radiant, bouncing on her toes, and as free as she’d ever seen her.

They were lost in the music, bodies moving in perfect sync with the crowd as they joined hands again, leaping to the thrum of the beat, oblivious to the fact that more than just bright lights were fixed on them.

Suddenly, a rush of motion pulled Vi back to reality. Powder and Ekko materialised through the throng of dancers, breathless and beaming. Powder held her phone aloft, practically shaking with excitement. “You won’t believe it!” she yelled, her voice cracking as she fought to be heard over the pounding speakers. “Fred again just waved at me—caught it on video—”

“No way!” Vi exclaimed, turning her head to see Powder's phone screen, already lit with a triumphant recording. But before the words had fully formed, something else snagged her attention. A different scream - sharper, more desperate - punched through the music.

Caitlyn’s scream.