Early Is On Time

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers

“Shikamaru...” Naruto says half an hour after they lose sight of Kakashi-sensei completely.

Shikamaru looks at him, just a glance, to acknowledge he’d heard Naruto say something. He can’t look at Naruto for long, though, because they’re both flinging themselves through the Land of Fire canopy.

Kakashi-sensei had explained that they were close enough to Konoha now that it was safe for him to leave them behind. And then he’d left them behind, because Shikako had been sleeping on his back the whole way and Kakashi-sensei thought she’d better get to the hospital as quick as possible. Naruto doesn’t mind that, but... Shikamaru is flagging. They’ve been running since Kakashi-sensei found them in the late morning and Shikamaru doesn’t have Naruto’s stamina.

“Let me carry you,” Naruto says. “Or, or have a clone do it.”

“I can keep going,” Shikamaru says, exactly unlike a person who can actually physically keep going.

Maybe he feels like he owes it to Shikako to keep running, but... that’s dumb. It’s really dumb and even Naruto knows it.

“Maybe,” Naruto says, because saying Shikamaru can’t will just make him mad. “But then even if we get there without having to take a break, you’ll probably have to be in a bed right next to Shikako-chan.”

Shikamaru looks a little insulted. Oops.

Naruto scrambles for a couple more minutes, throwing out a bunch of reasons why Shikamaru should totally let himself be carried for the foreseeable future. Hesitantly, Naruto even brings up the Kyūbi. Kurama. He hasn’t told anyone but Shikako about Kurama’s name, though, so he says, ‘the Kyūbi.’

“Why would that matter?” Shikamaru asks.

“My stamina,” Naruto replies immediately.

“Ugh,” says Shikamaru.

“Also, baa-chan put me in charge of this mission,” Naruto says. That hasn’t really been relevant at any other point of this mission, but it seems like the kind of thing Shikako would bring up in an argument.

“Ugh,” says Shikamaru.

“And I’ll let you down before we’re in sight of the gate guards,” Naruto says.

So he ends up carrying Shikamaru. And they don’t have to stop and rest.

Benches stretch down both sides of the hospital hallway outside the operating room where Tsunade is doing... something... to fix Shikako up. Kakashi had been very scant on the details and at the time Sasuke had just kind of accepted that if Kakashi didn’t give him more details there probably weren’t too many more details to give, but Shikako’s parents have questions. Of course they do.

No one at the hospital can answer their questions.

No one knows what surgery Shikako is even having.

No one wants to look the Jōnin Commander in the eye when they tell him this.

Eventually they have to just settle in on the benches, Shikaku and Yoshino on one side of the hall, Sasuke on the other. All three of them are a little bleary from interrupted sleep, but Sasuke know he’s got it the worst; Shikaku and Yoshino are old hands at middle-of-the-night wake up calls.

Shikaku just sits still, relaxed, with the same frown Shikako gets when she’s trying to puzzle something out. Yoshino pulls out a paperback, staring at the same page blankly for long moments.

Sasuke doesn’t think she’s actually reading and doesn’t think he could read, either, but he wishes he had a book, too, just for something to do.

Yoshino looks up from her book eventually.

“Do you smell coffee?” she asks.

Sasuke... does smell coffee. Cutting through the hospital smell, wafting down the hallway. Two ninja round the corner, one carrying a bakery box and the other a cardboard box of brewed coffee with a stack of paper coffee cups on top.

It’s Aoba and Anko.

“Is someone else in surgery?” Shikaku asks, glancing at the doors to the other operating room off this hall.

It’s just as quiet as it’s been since they got here, but it’s possible that there’s some kind of really long, quiet surgery. It could be a coincidence.

“We heard about the kid from Kakashi,” Anko says. “Thought you’d want breakfast.”

Shikaku’s expression doesn’t change, as if this highly unlikely explanation is exactly what he expected to hear.

Yoshino frowns. “You were asking after Shikako earlier in the week, weren’t you?” She glances at Sasuke.

“He was,” Sasuke says. Sasuke sincerely doubts Kakashi actually invited these two to wait at the hospital.

“I’m sure that whatever concern you have about Shikako is one I could lay to rest,” Shikaku says.

“That’s what Hatake said,” Anko mutters. She sets the coffee down on the bench on the other side of the hall.

“You were supposed to be briefed in the morning.” Aoba shifts awkwardly. “I can’t tell you much more besides that without Tsunade-sama’s okay, but Shikako isn’t in trouble or anything. I just got... alarming intel.”

Shikaku looks at Aoba for a few more moments, stretched out long and terribly. And then he says, “That’s a box from the Akimichi bakery on Tea Street.”

Aoba says, “Hironobu sends his well-wishes.”

Anko helpfully holds a steaming cup of coffee out to Shikaku. “He was still baking but he made an exception for Aoba.”

Sasuke takes a cup of coffee when offered. It’s not much to focus on, but it’s better than nothing. Better than speculating uselesly about what Aoba might have learned concerning Shikako and if it has anything to do with why she’s in surgery right now.

The gate guard studies their IDs as the night fades into the grey of pre-dawn, birds making an incongruously cheerful riot as Naruto and Shikamaru wait tensely to be let into the village and find out if Shikako is okay.

“Alright, you can sign in,” the gate guard says, and hands the book over to Naruto. She looks at something else behind the desk. “Also... you’re supposed to go right to the Hokage’s office for debrief.”

Shikamaru says, “Will she even be there yet? We were going to go straight to the hospital.”

The chūnin gives them both a once-over. “Are either of you injured?”

Shikamaru scowls. “No.”

The chūnin shrugs. “Then these orders stand. Someone will wake the Hokage and make sure she’s there quickly to take your report.”

Naruto thinks that Tsunade probably wouldn’t mind all too much if they stopped by the hospital to check on Shikako before someone woke her up and she had to drag herself to the office, but she’d told him off good for not acting the way a chūnin should when he had to accept that Sasuke wouldn’t be on missions with them again for awhile and he figures that at the very least he probably shouldn’t argue with the gate guard about it.

Better forgiveness than permission, anyway, like Shikako-chan says.

Naruto goes first to sign the book and notices that Kakashi-sensei and Shikako were some of the last people to sign in. He tells Shikamaru — “Kakashi-sensei and Shikako made it way before us!” — and then squints at the note next to their sign-in.

It says they went right to the hospital and that Kakashi’s “standing order” is that the rest of the team should follow.

“Hey,” Naruto says, turning the book around and shoving it towards the gate guard — although not right into her face or anything, that would probably just make her mad. “Orders from our team leader trumps whatever stupid note you have right?”

“You’re team leader,” Shikamaru reminds him.

“Nuh-uh, Kakashi-sensei met up with us,” Naruto says. “I mean, I failed the, uh, test on that stuff—?”

“...Konoha’s command structure?” Shikamaru guesses. His eyebrows have crawled up a little. The gate guard’s, too.

“—yeah, that! Iruka-sensei was real mad.” There had been lots of yelling. “But anyway, a jōnin who was in the field with us and knows the situation has gotta be more important than some note baa-chan sent to the desk yesterday or whatever. And baa-chan’s probably talked to Shikako-chan already!” Naruto nods, confident. “So we should just go to the hospital like Kakashi-sensei said.”

Shikamaru doesn’t exactly look convinced that Naruto is right — Naruto knows he probably technically isn’t so that’s fine — but like Shikako-chan, Shikamaru will use any excuse he can get his hands on to do what he already wanted to do anyway. And Kakashi-sensei will totally back Naruto up on this, for sure.

“Well, whatever,” says the chūnin, waving her hand in a gesture to indicate Naruto should let Shikamaru sign the book now. Oops. “You probably shouldn’t make it a long visit, especially if Hatake-san isn’t there anymore, you know?”

“We’ll be quick,” Naruto agrees, although he doesn’t really think they will be. Shikamaru will want to stay, but Naruto can always report in alone.

They enter the village and start towards the hospital, but just a few feet along a chūnin emerges out of... somewhere... and stops them.

“You are required to go to the Tower for your debrief first,” says this chūnin. He’s not wearing anything special except a boring-looking tantō. He looks boring. And kinda tired, like he’d rather be dead and buried than here talking to them.

“No, we aren’t,” Naruto says.

“You are,” says the dead-eyed chūnin, flatly. “Immediately. You are not permitted to delay by visiting your teammate at the hospital first. I will escort you right now.”

“Baa-chan won’t mind us checking on Shikako and making sure Kakashi-sensei knows we made it,” Naruto says impatiently. “You can follow us if you gotta but we’re following Kakashi-sensei’s standing orders.”

“You must—” starts the chūnin, but Shikamaru isn’t having it.

“You don’t outrank us and you really don’t outrank Hatake Kakashi,” Shikamaru says sharply. “He’s waiting for us at the hospital. Get out of our way.”

The guy doesn’t look happy, but he gets. He gets so well that Naruto doesn’t even see where, exactly, the guy goes, but wherever he went he’s not their problem anymore.

The village is mostly still at rest, although there are always patrols and other ninja going about their business. The Akimichi bakery on Tea Street has only just opened but is swarmed with other early-morning workers, and Naruto gives it a longing look as they pass by, thinking how great breakfast would be. Now that he knows Shikako is safe at the hospital and being taken care of, he’s hungry.

When they go to turn left and take a shortcut across the park by the hospital, there’s an unfamiliar jounin standing there. He’s grandpa-aged but clearly still fit for duty and working, since he’s wearing the standard jōnin uniform and a sword worn upright over his right shoulder.

“This again?” Shikamaru complains.

“Hatake isn’t at the hospital, and your friend won’t be available,” says the old guy. “I understand your concern, but the situation has changed since Hatake came through and you really are needed at the Tower.” He’s got eyes with weird lines in them. Red — like Kurenai-sensei’s.

This guy seems like he’s old enough to be her dad.

Naruto exchanges glances with Shikamaru. Shikamaru sighs in that way that means he wants to call something troublesome but he thinks it might be bad to say it out loud.

“I guess if Shikako won’t even be awake and Kakashi-sensei is busy,” Naruto concedes. “But Baa-chan had better make it quick.”

They turn with the old guy and make their way right, towards the Tower. The old guy grimances.

The guy says, “There’s no excuse for someone of your age and rank speaking of Hokage-sama in such a disrespectful manner.” He uses the same this-is-going-on-your-permanent-record voice the Academy sensei used to.

Ugh.

“How’s it disrespectful?” Naruto asks in his best I-skipped-that-week-of-school voice. The guy seems to be winding up for a lecture either way so might as well get him to really go for it. Easier to tune it out that way.

Shikamaru cuts in, “What did you say your name was?” instead of letting the the guy get all his useless feelings out.

“Yūhi Shinku,” he says.

“You are related to Kurenai-sensei!” Naruto says, excited. “You’ve got weird eyes like her! Hey, hey, do they do anything?”

“My daughter,” Shinku acknowledges. “I don’t believe you actually know her well enough to call her by her first name, however.”

“Okay, whatever,” says Naruto, because sheesh. “So, what about your eyes, huh, how do they work? I never got to ask Kuren... um, Yūhi-sensei.”

Shikamaru cuts in again. “Yūhi-san,” he says, “it’s nice that you came to tell us about Kakashi-sensei, but we can find our own way to the tower.”

“I promised to make sure you’d make it all the way to the debrief with no distractions,” Shinku says. “Also, you should call me Yūhi-sensei.”

Naruto eyes this guy, less and less sure of him as this conversation goes on. “Why?” Naruto asks. “You haven’t taught us anything.”

Shinku and Shikamaru both choke, Shinku because Naruto has offended him or something and Shikamaru because he doesn’t want to laugh in this jōnin’s face.

Shinku isn’t very quick with a reply, so Naruto adds, “Also, if you and your daughter are ‘Yūhi-sensei’ then isn’t that confusing, jii-san? If everyone calls you that, I’m gonna keep calling her Kurenai-sensei so people know I mean the cool one.”

“Listen, Yūhi-san, I think you’re being the distraction right now,” Shikamaru says. “If you have to escort us, then fine, we can’t tell you how to do your job. But we’ve been on the move since almost this time yesterday. Unless you have something mission-relevant to say or more instructions from the Hokage, I think we can all very professionally cut the small-talk and save the inter-personal conduct discussion for later.”

Shikamaru doesn’t get mad a lot, probably because he doesn’t usually care about things enough for that, but when he does... he kinda sounds like his dad. It’s great.

They settle into the hallway after everyone who wants coffee and breakfast gets it and Aoba stares into space and tries his best not to think at all about anything. It’s a new hobby he’s taking up. He’s terrible at it.

The wait is worse for everyone else, surely. Well, except Anko, who Aoba is sure wants things to turn out alright for Shikako but... it’s not as if they know each other. Yet.

Has Shikako already started the Kunoichi Club? Aoba wonders if he can prod Shikako into indlucing Anko as a member instead of just an observer earlier. Last time... Anko had admitted she hadn’t been sure of her welcome for months, because Yakumo had gotten the invite, not her.

Aoba is pretty sure that Shikako and her friends hadn’t thought of it like that, that they just hadn’t invited Anko because when they started it they were all genin with no expectation that a special jōnin would want anything to do with them.

He starts to think about how, if Shikako remembers, Anko might have an even easier time of settling into being a special jōnin under the Godaime, but. That’s counting chickens before they hatch. It’d be nice to help Anko, but Shikako might not remember.

Her seal might have saved Aoba but not herself.

“Hm,” says Kakashi. “It was good of you to bring coffee for everyone, Aoba.”

This is notable because ‘everyone’ had not previously included Kakashi; Aoba looks to his left, away from the spot of wall he’s been staring blankly at, and finds that Kakashi is perusing — but not, it seems, intending on actually selecting — the remaining assortment of pastries. Who knows how long he’s been there, although Yoshino looks surprised, so... maybe not long?

It’s also notable because Hatake Kakashi doesn’t tend to thank people for things. Not that he’s an ungrateful person (well... sometimes, but only to wind people up) but he dodges polite social graces just as much as he dodges things like rules, procedure, and professional deportment.

“It was on the way,” Aoba says, because Aoba doesn’t have the energy to actually hold what happened earlier against Kakashi and brushing off this lesser social grace is as good as telling Kakashi he’s forgiven. Which he is, as long as it doesn’t happen again.

Anko says, “He sweet talked Akimichi Hironobu into selling him this stuff before the bakery was even open.”

So, okay, Kakashi isn’t forgiven by Anko. But that’s very much not Aoba’s problem.

“Speaking of everyone,” Kakashi says. “Shikamaru and Naruto aren’t here.”

“You said they were moving slower than you,” Sasuke says.

“Not that much slower.”

Sasuke frowns. “Maybe they stopped to rest?” he offers.

Think about what you just said, Kakashi’s look seems to say.

Sasuke makes a face back that says he knows he’s an idiot for thinking it likely Uzumaki Naruto would do something like take a break.

“Shikamaru does have pretty poor stamina,” Kakashi muses. He glances at Shikaku and concedes, “Comparatively,” but Shikaku just shrugs.

“Don’t pull your punches on my account,” Shikaku says. “He’s lazy.”

Aoba thinks that this might be less about not caring what Kakashi says about Shikamaru and more about the tight grip Yoshino has on her book. Optimism doesn’t really count for much, but pessimism can actively impede forward momentum.

“I’ll just go check up on them,” Kakashi says with good cheer that he couldn’t possibly be actually feelings.

And then he’s gone, just as suddenly as he arrived. Aoba goes back to staring at the wall.

It’s been awhile since Shikamaru saw Naruto really dig his heels in and try to provoke an adult into doing something drastically unprofessional, like attempted murder. Iruka-sensei had been too likeable and fair for Naruto to aim that sort of thing. Mizuki-sensei, for all that he’d turned out to be a treacherous creep, had flown under the radar.

Today, Naruto had warmed up with Yūhi Shinku. And then they come into Tsunade’s office to find that Tsunade isn’t there. And Naruto does not like that.

“Old man, who’re you?” Naruto demands. “Where’s baa-chan and what are you doing in her office?”

“Shimura Danzō, one of the Hokage’s advisors,”  he says. “The Godaime is still in surgery with your teammate, so I’ll be handling your debrief.”

Shikamaru’s heart clenches. He’d known there was something wrong with Shikako — she’d taken a sword through her chest and then been unable to reach her chakra — but she’d gotten into the village hours ago. It must be a major surgery. He should be at the hospital.

“What!” Naruto stands up a little straighter. His hands form fists. “So you tricked us here with that uptight guy!”

Danzō says, “I merely asked Shinku-san to help me collect two wayward chūnin who were resisting their orders.” His tone is full of mild rapprochement, like they’ve disappointed him, or like he can’t believe chūnin these days would do a thing like that.

Naruto, Shikamaru is pretty sure, has only ever cared about disappointing Iruka and Shikako. And maybe that civilian ramen chef, actually. Missing from this list: old one-eyed geezers. Who Shikamaru suspects might not actually be one of the Hokage’s advisors, because as far as Shikamaru knows the Elder Council is comprised only of Koharu-sama and Homura-sama, the Sandaime’s old teammates.

“We weren’t resisting them, we were ignoring them,” Naruto says. “‘Cause Kakashi-sensei gave us different, better, not stupid orders to go to the hospital. And I bet he was there and that Shinku guy lied!”

“This is your mission debrief and your opinion regarding orders is irrelevant, Uzumaki,” Danzō grits out. “There’s no time to waste. Start when you left the village.”

“No!” Naruto snaps. “You’re just some weird old guy camped out in baa-chan’s office.”

“I am the closest you’re going to get to the Hokage until she’s done at the hospital and you’re being insubordinate.” Danzō seems to loom, just a little. It’s not genjutsu, just a sense of presence.

It makes a sweat break out on the back of Shikamaru’s neck but doesn’t actually inspire any trust. Naruto seems completely unaffected, which is typical.

“I’m not your subordinate,” Naruto says. He crosses his arms like that’s the end of the argument.

Shikamaru sighs and slouches a little further. This unfortunately draws Danzō’s attention.

“And you?” Danzō asks.

“Well...” Shikamaru says, drawing the word out like he’s considering it, looking from Danzō’s expectant face to Naruto’s stubborn pout. “Naruto’s CO and he hasn’t dismissed me or given the debriefing. Or maybe Kakashi-sensei is CO, since we met him on the way, but in that case I haven’t been dismissed by him or seen evidence he’s debriefed either.” Shikamaru shrugs. “Guess it isn’t my choice. You’ll have to convince Naruto.”

Danzō looks back at Naruto. Shikamaru wonders if he knows just how impossible convincing Naruto will actually be. Probably not. People always underestimate Naruto.

Kakashi starts with going to the main gate to see if they made it to the village yet. No point in getting worked up before he knows anything.

There really shouldn’t have been anything between where he left him and the village that could have stopped them besides Shikamaru possibly literally running himself into the ground trying to keep up with Naruto. Kakashi wouldn’t have left them behind, otherwise. But once they got to the village... well. Plenty of distractions there.

“Did Uzumaki Naruto and Nara Shikamaru sign back in?” Kakashi asks from behind the two chūnin working the sign-in desk. With dawn brushing the sky, they’ve switched to having two chūnin working at once. There’s always ANBU at the gate so the security level never falls, but during the day the volume of traffic requires more people to work the sign-in.

This used to be a police duty. It doesn’t really make any sense to have ANBU watch the gate and thinking about it always leaves a bitter taste in Kakashi’s mouth.

“You know we’re not supposed to—” starts one of the chūnin, but then she turns around and sees him and stammers, “O-oh, Hatake-san, um.”

“Just Kakashi is fine,” he says, waving his hand like he can wave her respectful tone away. He hates that and makes sure to slouch a little more. “I was acting CO and Naruto is my genin.”

“They did,” she says. “Um, they said they were going to meet you at the hospital? But since you’re asking I guess they didn’t?” She wisely doesn’t point out that Naruto isn’t a genin anymore.

“They did not,” Kakashi confirms.

She tells him about the rude chūnin and the kids getting snappy with him and using Kakashi’s name to pull rank and make him go away. Kakashi is so proud he could shed a tear, although that doesn’t really explain where Naruto and Shikamaru actually are.

Kakashi probably shouldn’t use more chakra today. On the other hand, checking every place that they could have gotten to between here and the hospital sounds like a waste of time. Kakashi summons Pakkun.

“Really?” Pakkun sighs. “Y’know, I thought the next time you summoned us it’d be for treats, Kakashi.”

“Next time,” Kakashi promises. “I’m looking for Naruto and Shikamaru.”

Pakkun mutters, “Again?” but puts his nose to the ground and starts sniffing around. People passing by stare a little — mostly the civilians — and after a few minutes of wandering around Pakkun comes back and says, “They probably talked to some guy whose scent I don’t recognize and his scent comes outta nowhere and then goes away. Real good scent masking on that one, kind of a shame he used it like such an idiot. The kids headed down the street.”

It’s generally considered rude to keep up your scent masking in-village unless you smell so bad it’d be rude not to keep your scent masking up. Turning it off to talk to someone and then back on when you leave the conversation is... suspicious.

Tenzō used to do it.

Pakkun wanders down the street, occasionally having to weave around people and carts but never losing the scent.

They arrive at the park by the hospital. Pakkun stops. Dogs can’t exactly frown, but Pakkun looks immediately displeased when he turns back to face Kakashi. “The trail stops when they enter the park,” Pakkun says. “Did you teach them to hide their scent already?”

“No,” Kakashi says. Of course not. For all that Naruto is a chūnin now, he and Shikamaru graduated the Academy less than six months ago; when would they have learned? Kakashi’s genin are probably the most driven of their year, and Shikako had even specifically asked for escape and evasion training, but there have been many, many more important things to focus on than scent masking.

Pakkun starts circling where the trail ends in a spiral pattern, looking for something to follow. “Aren’t there rules about erasing scent trails in-village?” he asks, tone somewhere between a real question and absent grumbling.

There are, in fact, rules about that. While scent masking is just a courtesy thing — there’s something subtly wrong about someone who doesn’t smell like anything and the Inuzuka especially get twitchy about it — erasing scent trails is an actual security risk.

A crow caws. Pakkun ignores it, but Kakashi looks towards the nearest Hashirama tree. The crow calls again, and this time Kakashi is sure.

“I’ll be right back,” Kakashi says to Pakkun and goes to meet the signaler up in the tree.

The ANBU waiting for him is wearing a mask even older than the Wolf mask Kakashi has stashed away at home. This mask is beaked, a sort of narrow, sharp beak, and the mask has black feathering across the face which has faded to uneven greys.

“Your mask needs repainting again, Crow-taichō,” Kakashi says.

“I’m not your captain anymore,” says Crow.

Kakashi feigns that wounded. “That’s so cold, Crow-taichō. You’ll hurt my feelings.”

Crow had been his captain for only a very short amount of time, the months between Rin’s death and Kushina needing a full ANBU guard because of her pregnancy. His signalling bird call is just the same as always, modeled after a crow summons he’d known personally, although Crow is a Hyuuga and the only crow summoners Kakashi has ever known were Uchiha.

“Yes, I’m sure I will,” says Crow. “You were always so delicate. Are you looking for Uzumaki Naruto?”

Crow had been a very, very good teammate, and sometimes — on the rare occasions Kakashi was willing to admit that Minato-sensei could make mistakes — Kakashi wishes he’d been kept on the man’s team longer. These days he’s still an excellent teammate, and keeps a close eye out for Sasuke when he can, although to Kakashi’s knowledge they’ve never spoken.

“I am,” Kakashi says, “And Nara Shikamaru. They were supposed to meet me at the hospital. Shikaku and Yoshino are worried, you know.”

“I’m sure they are,” Crow agrees.

Kakashi does not rise to this bait. He’s found that denial is a very safe place to be. It is nice that Crow is having a good enough day to tease him, though.

Crow adds, “I would be, too, if I’d seen them leaving this park with Yūhi Shinku.”

Ah, the reason for his good mood. He gets to ruin Yūhi Shinku’s day. Kakashi feels a certain streak of vicious glee at the idea, too. There’s probably someone Crow-taichō hates more than Shinku — Itachi, maybe — but no one he disparages so often.

Gossip in the ANBU canteen flies fast and vicious, a result of being more or less anonymous, and Crow never misses an opportunity to let people know what Shinku is really like. Shinku wants people to fit his idea of them, especially if they’re younger than him or he’s teaching them. Shinku makes his mind up about people and then takes it out on them when reality fails to match his expectations.

Shinku had been assigned to help Kakashi with his genjutsu skills and it had gone... poorly. Crow-taichō had pulled him aside to tell him, privately, that Shinku hadn’t been a fan of the White Fang and hadn’t been shy about letting anyone know, either. Nothing Kakashi ever did would be good enough for Shinku.

“Hm, I hope Yūhi-sensei wasn’t trying to poach my student,” Kakashi says. “They’re kind of a matched set and I don’t think he could handle Shikako-chan.”

Although Kakashi would pay actual money to see what Shikako would do to someone who told her she couldn’t fight because she owed her father grandkids. He’s pretty sure Kurenai had just settled for never talking to Shinku again.

“It’s hard to say what he was up to.” Crow shrugs. “And it would be breaking protocol to tell you he’s buying coffee right now before heading to his first lesson of the day.”

“We wouldn’t want to break protocol,” Kakashi agrees. “But don’t worry, Crow-taichō, everyone knows I’m a very good tracker.”

“And he hasn’t exactly been working on his counter-tracking techniques,” Crow agrees. “I don’t think that bastard has left the village in years.”

“Maybe it’s time the Godaime stop going so soft on him,” Kakashi muses. “And speaking of Tsunade, taichō, maybe you should keep your report about this verbal-only.”

Crow’s body language goes a little stiff. Surprised by the suggestion, Kakashi diagnoses — and it is a strange thing to request, to be fair.

“Should I?” Crow asks. It’s a break in protocol to speak to openly to Kakashi (the kind of break that happens often; ANBU aren’t meant to run any kind of in-village patrol, in Kakashi’s opinion) but just noticing something that happens in-village shouldn’t be dangerous.

Shouldn’t.

“Tsunade will need to know,” Kakashi says. He is not, after all, in the habit of encouraging ANBU not to tell the Godaime things. “But something about it... you know Cat, don’t you? You remember... how he was, where we met?”

Crow nods.

It was Crow who Kakashi had gone to for advice about Tenzō, of course. Everyone else had been dead by then.

Kakashi tells Crow about the railroading he’s come across — the order to report in at the Gate and the rude chūnin and his scent masking. “You haven’t said, but they’re probably somewhere in the tower. I’ll go talk to Yūhi first to confirm. But if they are where I think they are, talking to who I think...”

“I see.” Crow is silent for a moment. “I’ll keep it out of my written report. Please mention it to Tsunade-sama. You’ll probably be reporting to her alone before I am.”

Good. Kakashi sometimes worries he might be the only one to notice Crow’s passing, when he goes, and there’s no reason to give anyone any reason to disappear him. Kakashi has always been too polite to match Crow to his off-mask identity, but he suspects that for a Hyuuga to be so deep in ANBU and spend so much time living in the ANBU barracks, his clan life is probably... bad. There’d be no one there to notice if he didn’t come home.

“I will.” Kakashi says. And then... “It was good to see you, Crow-taichō. Don’t be a stranger.”

Crow is silent for a moment, a long moment. Kakashi wonders if that was too personal — certainly more personal than anything else Kakashi has ever said to Crow — but then Crow says, “Take care of yourself, Wolf,” and fades from sight and smell and touch to rejoin the patrol he’s supposed to be on.

So. That went well. And Kakashi has a new target.

There are only so many places where one could get coffee at this time of the morning. A few of them are out of range of Crow’s Byakugan, but checking the closest first seems prudent. Yūhi Shinku is a lazy asshole at heart, no matter how he tries to hide it, and Hironobu’s does have the best coffee and is only a few blocks back down the street.

Kakashi returns to the ground where Pakkun has sprawled on the dew-wet grass, defeated and frustrated. Kakashi crouches down and explains where they’re going and what Yūhi Shinku looks like so that Pakkun will know who to lead him to. Kakashi doesn’t have anything of Yūhi’s to track, of course, and Pakkun doesn’t know his scent, but that hardly matters.

They practically burst into the shop — although careful not to rattle the doors too much or run into anyone, because Kakashi doesn’t intend to be banned from this bakery, okay — and Pakkun trots right up to Yūhi Shinku’s heels.

“This is the guy,” Pakkun says. Ominously, out of a love of dramatics, he adds, “No blood.” He makes sure to say it loud enough for other bakery patrons to hear him.

Kakashi raises a casual hand to everyone who’s looked over. Some of them wave back; Kakashi likes that.

Shinku turns around. He’s standing at the counter where you can add cream and sugar to your coffee and Pakkun doesn’t move, so Shinku is forced to do some pretty annoying footwork. Pakkun is the best, and once that’s out of the way he salutes and disappears in a poof of chakra smoke.

“Hatake,” Shinku says, flatly, the way most ninja would address a foreign shinobi they don’t respect. As charming as ever.

“Shinku,” Kakashi says with painfully forced cheer, the kind that will grate on the nerves of every ninja listening into this conversation. A red-flag for them, so they know Kakashi isn’t here to waste his time.

“I keep telling you—” starts Shinku. He’s a bit colorblind.

“—There are somethings you could tell me,” Kakashi interjects, still very pleasant. Too pleasant. A special jōnin who was also doctoring her coffee takes a full two steps back out of what is now the Designated Combat Zone because Kakashi doesn’t intend to fight Yūhi Shinku but he’s been wound tight for days and projecting an aura of being absolutely ready to drive Shinku head first through the countertop can only help move things along nice and quick.

“You could tell me about when another jōnin can and can’t override a commanding officer’s orders,” Kakashi suggests. “You could tell me what you were doing in the park by the hospital. You could tell me where my genin are, Shinku, and why they didn’t make it to the hospital where I was waiting for them.”

“You weren’t even at the hospital,” Shinku says.

“I was, but it’s interesting that you think you know I wasn’t there,” Kakashi says. “How much preparation went into this? Is it sabotage, Shinku, or are you just fucking with me? It doesn’t feel like a good day for either.”

The bakery is so quiet that Kakashi can practically hear Shinku’s pulse speed up. Sabotage is a serious charge, especially to level in public, but it’s much milder than treason, which is what Kakashi is actually suspecting this might boil down to.

“They were ignoring orders to report for debriefing at the Tower,” Shinku hisses, voice low like he might somehow avoid more attention. “I know you’ve never met a rule you didn’t break, but direct orders to report—!”

“Aside from the people still assisting the Hokage in surgery, I was the last person to speak to her and she had plenty of time to debrief with Nara Shikako. There was no reason for Naruto and Shikamaru to go to the Tower. Tell me why you made them go there.”

Kakashi pushes his intent into the air. Not killing intent. That would be too aggressive, and it’s a mistake to use killing intent on a jōnin you don’t actually intend to fight. This is the same intent he used on Aoba earlier. He always imagines peeling the person’s skin back when he’s projecting this intent, like he might find the answers he needs lurking right there under the surface and it would be so, so easy to get to them.

It works better than it should on a jōnin of Shinku’s age and experience.

“A favor for the Elder Council.” Shinku scowls. “They are authorized to take debriefs in emergency situations.”

“This wasn’t an emergency.” Kakashi keeps his tone emotionless; clear, blunt, and certainly loud enough to be heard even back in the kitchen, given how quiet everyone else is. “This was you bullying my student and his teammate, wasting their time and mine, and worrying Shikaku and his wife while they’re sitting in the hospital waiting for the Godaime to finish fixing up Shikako-chan. For some kind of power-play, or because you don’t like me, or because you have deeper motives... I don’t care. Stay away from them.”

And then, insult to injury, Kakashi takes Yūhi Shinku’s still-untouched coffee cup and heads for the door.

Kakashi’s not going to drink it, of course — it looks undoctored but who knows who Shinku has pissed off recently. Aburame Shibi had been in the back of the bakery looking as close to gleeful as Kakashi has ever seen, for example, and Shinku will never get another good cup of coffee out of Hironobu’s shop after everything Kakashi just said.

It will be a good prop, anyway. Showing up late to a meeting is a good start, but showing up with a prop is perfect. Especially if it’s still steaming, like the coffee Kakashi is holding, which shows you stopped recently and with purpose, delaying your arrival because it wasn’t as important as a caffeine fix. Granted, Kakashi was pointedly not invited to this meeting, but that won’t stop it from being annoying.

Other, lesser ninja would allow the coffee to cool on the walk to the tower, but the slightest hint of fire chakra pushed into the coffee keeps it at nearly-boiling, with the added bonus of making it a much better impromptu weapon.

Just the sort of thing one needs to go into a meeting with Shimura Danzō.