Hiraeth

The silence was wholly uncomfortable Gaara decided as he sat across the small round table from Lee. He also decided that he wanted to be here no matter how badly the thought of Lee not wanting to deal with him still stuck in his mind. He let his gaze linger on Lee and took a small sip of his drink, finding himself mildly upset at how awkward the other boy looked with a small bead of sweat making its way down his tanned forehead.

“...Lee?” He asked, breaking the silence. The wide eyed boy jumped in his chair and turned towards Gaara, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“Y-yes?”

“Do you hate me?”

Lee’s already large eyes widened considerably in surprise and he shook his head frantically. “What?! No! Why would I?”

Gaara shrugged and twirled his straw around in his drink. He looked at the sign of the café they were seated outside of and sighed. “You left. I don’t blame you, I was just wondering if that’s why you did.”

Lee shook his head again. “No, I left because... Sasuke had it under control.” He finished in a slightly defeated tone, shoulders sagging.

Gaara looked up at that, eyebrow quirked. Sasuke had recounted something completely different. Though, he thought, Sasuke had said a lot of things. A lot of things that didn’t match up to how he treated him, and a hollow pain felt like it was carving out his insides as he remembered the most recent scene in the bathroom. “Really? I had thought you just didn’t want to deal with me.”

“No, there was just someone who could deal with you better.”

“Huh.”

Gaara looked down at his gauze encased hand that he had kept hidden under the table, wishing he could get access to the skin and rip it off.

“Gaara,” Lee began and Gaara looked at him, a blank expression on his face. “What happened between you and Sasuke?”

Now he really wished he could get to his skin.

“What do you mean?” He asked maybe a little too sharply and watched as Lee deflated.

“I- I just mean, on the roof, after-”

“Nothing happened,” Gaara said, the lie coming out a little too easily. “He just left after I calmed down.”

He watched with interest as Lee noticeably perked up, a sickly feeling of guilt beginning to gnaw at his insides.

“Ah- ah, okay, in that case...” Lee took a deep breath and puffed out his chest and Gaara managed a small but fond smile. The taller boy suddenly bowed his head, tone shaking with determination. “Would you do me to honor of formally being my boyfriend?!”

Gaara choked on his drink, bringing both hands up to try and get a grip on the edge of the table and Lee frowned before his eyes widened at the sight of Gaara’s hand. “Gaara!”

Gaara finally managed to swallow, wincing before looking up at Lee with watery eyes. “Shit, yeah?”

Lee gestured to the injured hand and Gaara’s face flashed with an unreadable emotion before he relaxed it and shrugged, putting his hand back on his lap. “Hurt it.”

Lee furrowed his eyebrows, about to question him further when Gaara suddenly spoke.

“Yes.”

“...Yes?”

“I’ll be your boyfriend.”

The brightness of Lee’s smile was almost enough to shine away the dark clouds of guilt hanging over his head.

——-

He made his way back home, this time under the orange rays of the setting sun and felt both full and empty at the same time. He pulled out his phone, nearly dropping it in surprise as he found over five texts and two missed calls from... Sasuke?

How did Sasuke get his number and how was he a contact in his phone? A growing feeling of unease and guilt overtook him as he read through the texts, the first of which were just requesting to meet up politely, the rest either demanding or pleading. He stuffed his phone back in his pocket without responding as he checked over his shoulder just in case and sped up his pace.

Slamming the door behind him and locking it he made his way towards the stairs only to be halted by Kankuro’s voice, the owner of which leaning against the living room doorframe.

“Oi. Let’s talk.”

Gaara’s eye twitched, really not the in the mood to talk but also not in the mood to argue. He took one look at the seriousness written on Kankuro’s face and sighed, knowing his couldn’t argue with words, couldn’t fight with a broken hand, and that he didn’t want to actually hurt Kankuro. “Yeah, okay.”

Less than a minute later he was seated across from Kankuro at the kitchen table, his brother staring at him with a mixed expression. Gaara felt himself begin fidgeting and Kankuro sighed at the twitchiness of his brother, leaning forward across the table.

“A kid came by after school today. Asking for you.”

Gaara snapped his head up in shock. He couldn’t imagine anyone coming to look for him.

Unless-

“Said his name was Sasuke, made up some bullshit about wanting to give something to you.”

Fuck.

“Look, I don’t want to make... anything worse,” Kankuro began, and Gaara scowled, knowing his brother was talking about the paranoia. “But you should be careful. I know you and him used to be a thing but the guy creeped me out.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re used to being creeped out. Living with me and whatever,” Gaara said humorlessly, still processing all of what his brother had just told him.

Kankuro glared at him, mouth stretching into a thin line. “You’re not a creep, Gaara. You just have a problem.”

“We all have problems, Kankuro, but that doesn’t mean we have to take drugs for it,” the redhead spat out, feeling uncharacteristically nasty as he crossed his arms gingerly and made sure to be careful of his hurt hand. “Not that you seem to have any problems with it, but leave me out of your little addiction.”

“Yeah, well not all of us are as fucked in the head as you are!” Kankuro snarled, eyes flaring as his temper momentarily took over. “Not all of us are batshit insane!”

Gaara recoiled, eyes widening in shock and hurt and Kankuro cursed and wiped a hand across his face.

“Look, Gaara, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, I was just-”

Gaara stood quickly, chair clattering to the hardwood floor as he ran towards the stairs and up into the attic, slamming the trap door behind him and letting himself wholly fall apart.