What to do
Itachi has never really been good with directions. Normally he’s able to make due with maps or whatever landmarks might happen to be around, but with something so new where he’s so out of place, well-
(Maybe he’ll have to take the time to make a map at some point.)
He winds up wandering for the better part of a half hour, trying to find some place where he can make breakfast.
Annoying.
Finally, he stumbles on a space that’s got a kitchen in it, and decides that this will do.
As quickly as he finds it, he finds that he’s not alone there.
“Oh, good morning-”
Kimimaro returns the greeting with an ugly scowl that doesn’t fit on such a pretty face. Itachi shakes his head, deciding to just work around the guy.
He's something like a feral dog, super skittish and ready to lash out at anyone who gets too close. It seems best to just keep his distance and let him do as he wants.
There’s plenty of fresh ingredients to choose from, which he likes- surely cooking something creative will help him get some of this restless energy out.
“I don’t mind you hanging around, please just stay out of my way,” he says, though the other boy gives no indication that he even heard. He just continues stuffing a bread roll in his face with a fervor like he’s never seen food in his entire life.
He sets about peeling vegetables at the giant sink, losing himself in the rhythm as he ponders how many of the others will want some too.
Well, since he’s already cooking he may as well make a lot. He grabs the largest, heavy-bottomed pot he can so that he can get started.
As he gets the food going, Itachi has that eerie feeling like he’s being watched. When he can’t ignore the uneasy feeling any longer, he turns his head to find Kimimaro’s green-gray eyes staring back at him with a curious look.
“...Can I help you with something?” he asks, trying to put some more distance between them.
Kimimaro looks like Itachi might try to bite him. He doesn’t break that unnerving stare (perhaps because nobody ever told him that was impolite?), seemingly unblinking.
“It uh- it smells good,” he says, finally.
“Huh?”
Itachi blinks a few times in rapid succession, temporarily forgetting words until that stare shifts to the pot that’s just started to bubble.
“Oh, the food. Yeah, I suppose it does?”
His statement comes out more like a question in his bafflement.
The younger boy regards the half eaten bread roll in his hand, then the food on the stove, then the bread roll once again, as though he wants to ask something but is too afraid to.
Itachi has never been very good with hints, but this guy is being obvious enough that even he can’t mistake his intention.
“It’ll be done in about ten minutes. You’re welcome to have some.”
Kimimaro lights up, though he still has a skeptical expression like he can’t believe the offer.
“You mean it?”
“Why would I lie about something like that?”
The other boy doesn’t have an answer to that. Instead, he stands around watching Itachi cook, like it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen.
It’s a little weird to have an audience like this while he makes breakfast.
Should I say something? He wonders to himself, checking the miso to make sure it’s good, and flipping the eggs over so they can cook on the other side.
It feels odd to have Kimimaro standing there without either of them saying anything. But he’s not a good conversationalist either, so he just stands there with the discomfort for what feels like forever, though it’s really only a couple minutes.
Finally, he gets a question in his head that allows him to break the silence.
“Where are the others?”
“Hm? Outside I think.”
“Do you mind getting them and telling them there’s breakfast? I’m just about finished.”
“Eh? Yeah, I guess?”
Kimimaro looks a bit offended by the request, but he turns and leaves anyway.
With impeccable timing, as soon as the food is ready, a crowd of people forces their way into the kitchen, falling over themselves and shouting as they try to all go through the entryway at once.
“Outta the way!”
“I was here first, you move your ass!”
“Fuck off and die! Back off already!”
“Ow, you’re hurting me-”
“C’mon stop crushin’ us- ttebayo-”
At the end of his patience, Itachi slams his wooden spoon down on the countertop and shoots them what he hopes is his best imitation of his mother’s glare.
“Oh will you stop?! It’s not going anywhere. So, are you capable of acting like civilized people for a moment?”
All of them- Kidomaru, Kimimaro, Sakon, Ukon, Kimimaro, Tayuya, Jirobo, Sasuke and even Naruto- fall as quiet as the grave, so abruptly it’s as if all the air has been sucked out of the room.
Itachi rubs the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Alright. Good. Thank you. I’m going to dish up some food, can you behave for that long?”
There’s a smattering of mumbled affirmatives and a few nods, which is enough to satisfy him.
He gathers plenty of dishes to distribute portions of the miso, rice, and assorted vegetables to the sudden crowd.
“Alright!!” Naruto cheers when he gets his. “I’m starvin’!”
“Thanks for the food, Niisan!” Sasuke chirps, already tucking in. “We’ve been busy since we woke up so we forgot to eat til now.”
Itachi raises an eyebrow as he dishes up a bit of food for himself.
“Oh really? What were you doing?”
“Kidomaro was teachin’ me how he does the thing with a bow n’ arrow! N’ Naruto was uh- what were you doin’ again?”
“She was showin’ me the cool stuff she can do with her flute ttebayo! Hey can you tell her she should teach me how to play too?!”
“I don’t think that’s up to me to decide?”
Tayuya buries her face in her bowl of miso, mumbling something like don’t be a kissass even as her face turns bright pink.
Naruto seems a bit smitten with her. It’s kind of cute, really.
Itachi picks at his food, finding himself suddenly not hungry even though he’d wanted food earlier. He spends more time playing with it and watching the others than actually eating, marveling at how much people can manage to bicker.
How do they manage to argue so much? Surely after a time you’d run out of things to gripe over, he figures.
And yet none of them get up or storm off. Almost like they find it fun?
Bizarre. Itachi never really understood people, though, so maybe he’s missing something.
Maybe it’s one of those things that make sense to people who aren’t him.
While they argue, Sasuke chatters at him about what he’s been up to all morning, so Itachi tries to focus on that and tune out the nonsense.
(At least he’s doing well. As long as he’s safe and happy, that’s all that matters, right?)
…why is it so hard to breathe, all of a sudden?
Or maybe it’s been hard for a while, and he just hasn’t noticed?
It’s enough to frighten him a little, extinguishing whatever appetite he may have had left.
He cradles his head in his hand, fighting a sudden wave of dizziness.
“Hey, what’s your deal? You look funny.”
Itachi shrugs it off.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
Sasuke frowns. He obviously doesn’t believe it, still watching him out of the corner of his eye while he eats.
The dizziness is already starting to fade, so Itachi brushes it aside.
“Hey where’d that weird guy go, anyway? The one Orochimaru-sama dragged in?” Tayuya asks. “I don’t think I’ve seen him around in awhile.”
“Fuck if I know. Good riddance, he’s fuckin’ annoying anyway ain’t he?”
“Wonder if he’ll ever come back.”
“Bet he will. Have you seen him? He’s totally dick-brained for that chick with the giant tits. Can’t imagine he’d wanna stay away.”
“-Tsunade,” Itachi says, mildly appalled at how they’re talking. “Her name is Tsunade.”
“-man he’s dick-brained for Orochimaru-sama too. You see how he looks at him? Dude’s hopelessly horny.”
Itachi isn’t comfortable with the discussion, but he keeps his head down and bites his tongue.
When he glances upward again, he notices he’s not the only one in this awkward predicament.
He and Kimimaro lock eyes briefly, exchanging a mutual look of discomfort.
Kimimaro lowers his eyes again, but offers up the barest hint of a smile in his direction.
“Thanks,” he mumbles into his bowl, still eating with a fervor like he’s never seen food in his life.
(he’s so skinny that if that were the case, Itachi would believe it.)
Itachi nods in response, taking his best attempt at a deep breath and cringing at the twinge of pain he gets in his chest from it.
“Hey Niisan, you gotta join in and try too! I bet you could still beat Kidomaru.”
“Oh like hell he can ya little twerp!” Kidomaru snaps back. “Fuckin’ try me!”
Sasuke gives Itachi a look like he can’t believe that assault on his pride. Itachi shakes his head in bemusement.
“I guess I’m overdue to give it a try, huh?”
“Just try not to get too embarrassed when I smoke your ass,” Kidomaru boasts, with a smug air about him that Itachi decides he doesn’t much like.
“We’ll see about that.” he replies, already planning how he’s going to prove the other boy wrong.
“You look pissed off.”
Orochimaru slips behind Tsunade, wrapping an arm around her waist in a bold gesture that normally would have earned him a slap in the face.
But she lets it slide.
Why does she let it slide? Hell if either of them know, but he takes full advantage.
“Yeah I’m not particularly happy right now.”
She smacks him in the face with the papers in her hand with an irritated grunt.
“The kid said he wasn’t on any sort of medication.” she says, in a clipped, curt tone.
Orochimaru glances over the paperwork, frown deepening the more he reads.
“How does he explain all of this shit? The kid’s got a whole pharmacy in his bloodstream.”
“Hm.”
It’s certainly an impressive list of chemicals. Not the sort of list you would forget about if you were taking them.
Well. If you knew you were taking them.
“I’m not so sure he was aware he was taking all of these. His memory’s not something he has trouble with.”
“How are you not aware of all of-”
“I don’t know a hundred percent. But he wouldn’t be the first Anbu agent who’s been slipped something extra without knowing. Supposedly to improve their performance, but usually just to keep them from collapsing on the field, in my experience.”
“This is ridiculous.”
Tsunade looks about ready to blow her top, snatching the papers back and slapping them down on the table.
“Well if he just got cut off from all this shit without warning it’s no wonder he fuckin’ fell apart as soon as he got here. This isn’t the kinda shit you can just stop taking without trouble.”
“Hm.”
“Well it explains a few things. He hasn’t keeled over yet so I guess at the very least his liver’s still working. Mostly.”
She’s still livid, though she keeps a remarkably tight lid on that, keeping herself from shouting or throwing things like she usually would.
She’s right to be angry, if he’s being honest with himself. After all, as a medic she was always staunchly against the sorts of performance enhancers pushed onto any shinobi aiming for a position of any import. She’s done far too many autopsies on far too many people who have died far too young, their bodies burnt out and their hearts worn down from all the chemical pressure. Treated too many torn muscles and broken bones on people who pushed themselves farther than anyone should. Telling anyone who’d give her the time of day how horrible they were.
Not that it stopped any of them. Not with the pressure to be better and do more so high.
But at the very least, they’re usually well aware of the chemical cocktail they’re putting in their bodies, rather than it being slipped to them without their knowledge or consent.
(Then again, when has Danzo or anyone he works with ever cared about consent?)
“Here’s hoping they didn’t do any permanent damage, then. But considering they’re still showing up after he’s been gone this long, I can’t be sure.”
“I guess what matters now,” Orochimaru says, carefully taking the papers away before she can enrage herself further, “is whether that’s going to keep us from operating on him?”
“No more than any of the other shit wrong with him. Might fuck with his recovery though. Now do you mind taking your hand off me?”
It’s only then that Orochimaru notices he’s had his hand on her hip during their entire conversation. He pulls it back with a grunt of apology, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“More importantly, have you actually talked to him about what we’re gonna need to do for him?”
“Not really.”
Tsunade shoves him away with an annoyed huff.
“Well I’m not doing shit until he knows what he’s getting into, so get on it.”
“Alright, alright. I get it.You don't want to go around doing things out of the blue."
“It’s not that.”
Tsunade glares at him like he’s insulted her, even though he hasn’t (yet).
“I’ve got a feeling this kid doesn’t get asked what he wants anywhere near often enough. I think it’s high time that changed, don’t you? Especially if it involves cracking his ribcage open."
For someone who barely knows this child, she seems determined to know what he has to say. That’s probably a good thing.
And since he'll need her help to fix him, he’ll go along with what she wants.