No Regret
When things start to get interesting, they tend to get interesting all at once.
Orochimaru really shouldn’t be out and about yet, he knows. Kabuto had warned and begged and scolded him for hours before finally relenting, saying his new body is still new, he’s still getting the hang of it, he won’t be as strong as usual.
All true. But that can’t stop him when he’s so urgently needed.
Itachi looks surprised to see him as he is, to say the least. He gives him an up and down glance, cocking his head from one side to the other, before finally saying “you look…different?”
“I’ll get it back to normal with a bit of time,” Orochimaru answers.
They don’t have to elaborate on that; Itachi knows how Orochimaru suddenly found himself in a female body, after all.
(he hasn’t had the time to fix it up to his liking yet. There’ll be time to worry about that later.)
“You didn’t say your friend was a pretty lady!”
Naruto tugs at Itachi’s shirt demandingly, with a starstruck expression.
Itachi makes a shushing motion, going pink in the face.
“He’s not a-”
Orochimaru waves a hand, ushering the children through the thick brush until they get to the barren, barracks-ish building where they’ll be taking a moment to get their bearings.
“I have to admit, this is more short notice than I imagined.”
“I didn’t exactly get a lot of time to think it through,” Itachi reminds him.
“I know that. I’m just impressed you of all people could be so impulsive.”
Not like he had a choice.
The heavy door of the building is sealed tight, the small windows covered up to keep their privacy. Itachi sets Sasuke down in spite of his groggy protests of “still sleepy”, already shuffling around looking for bedding and such.
It’s almost a humorous contrast, watching Sasuke falling asleep on himself while Naruto bounces off the walls, excited by everything around.
“You children go back to bed,” Orochimaru orders them. “Itachi-kun and I have a few things we need to sort out.”
“But I-”
Naruto grumbles as Orochimaru ignores his protest, ushering them into another room with their blankets.
“I’ll wake you up when everything is ready. No arguing.”
Naruto pulls an unflattering face at him, but Orochimaru simply shuts the door, and that seems to be the end of it.
“He’s a lively one.”
Itachi doesn’t even seem to have heard him.
“I can’t believe I’ve done this-”
The boy mumbles this repeatedly, more to himself than anything. He paces the floor like a caged animal, wringing his hands until they’re raw.
Orochimaru watches, half amused and half concerned, while he gets everything together to make tea for both of them.
(between his pacing, his frantic mumbling and his beaten-down, exhausted appearance, Itachi looks like he’s gone totally mad.)
“I mean, it’s not like I could’ve stayed. Everything would’ve gotten even worse, and I just couldn’t go through with- but I just got up and left- everyone is gonna be so upset-”
He runs a hand through the fringe of his hair, eyes darting around frantically.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have left- maybe there was another way and I’ve gone and made an ass of myself, what if I just made everything worse- oh my god what if I get Sasuke into trouble for dragging him out here too- he’s too young to be held responsible for any of this-”
“-Far be it from me to tell you what to do, Itachi-kun,” Orochimaru interjects, “but if I might suggest breathing every now and then?”
At the reminder, Itachi takes in a great gasp of air, looking surprised at how long he’d been going without one.
“You decided this was the best course of action, so there’s no sense doubting yourself now. It’ll just annoy you.”
And me, so knock it off, he wants to add, but doesn’t.
Itachi falls silent, stopping his pacing, then nods, seeming to understand.
“...I guess I don’t have a choice anymore, do I?”
He groans, sitting down on the floor and burying his head in his hands.
“I didn’t want this to happen.”
“I know that.”
“What do I do?”
“Well, I’ll tell you one thing that needs to happen.”
Itachi peeks through his fingers sheepishly, wary at Orochimaru’s ominous tone.
“Walking back to the rest of Akatsuki with that boy in tow isn’t going to be good for his health. So we can’t stay around here either.”
“...right.”
Itachi scowls, turning his head in shame.
“I shouldn’t have put you in this situation. I’m sorry. If you need us to leave, I’m sure I can find somewhere else-”
It’s a marvel, really, how quickly the boy is to fault himself for anything that goes wrong in the world. It would be pitiful if it weren’t so aggravating at the moment.
“I’ve been meaning to make my exit from that organization for a while now, so don’t give yourself too much credit. All this means is I’m leaving more suddenly than I might have.”
Itachi perks up, brow knit in confusion.
“But-”
The boy cuts himself off.
“-Alright,” he says, instead, leaning his weight against the concrete wall behind him and letting out a groan.
“Good boy.”
There’s a brief respite until the kettle starts to whistle, and the clock on the wall ticks over to six in the morning.
“Here.”
Itachi gratefully accepts a mug of tea, staring into it like he wishes to drown in it.
“So…what do we do about Naruto?” he asks. “I don’t know a whole lot about looking after Jinchuriki full time.”
“Funny enough, I don’t have much experience there either.”
It isn’t a lie. In all his research, somehow dealing with biju hasn’t come up too much. In retrospect, that should have come up earlier.
Orochimaru leans against the kitchen counter, nursing his own tea and pondering whether he’s lost his mind with what he’s about to propose. He feels Itachi’s stare burning through him, trying to figure it out without him saying it aloud.
“I know someone who is. Trouble is we aren’t exactly on good terms.”
“Huh?”
“I think I know where he is, and it’ll help us put more distance between us and anyone else who may be looking for you. I’m not sure if he’d be open to helping us out in this situation.”
Itachi seems like he has an idea of which “he” Orochimaru is referring to. He doesn’t say it out loud, though.
“It’ll end badly, I’m pretty sure. But he knows more about jinchuriki than I do, and besides-”
Orochimaru scalds his tongue while draining the rest of his tea, half on purpose to distract himself from the crushing awkwardness creeping up his throat.
“-He’s the boy’s godfather. I think it’s high time they actually met.”
Itachi nods.
"At this point there aren't a lot of things I'm not willing to try anymore."
He gets back up onto his feet, uncertain and still rattled. But he manages, through his fear, the barest hint of a cheeky smile as he hands his empty cup back.
“...I guess it’d really piss Danzo-sama off if we did that, huh? He hasn’t said very nice things about Jiraiya-sama.”
Orochimaru chortles, ruffling Itachi’s hair (in dire need of a wash) and smirking.
“He’ll be absolutely livid.”
That offers the boy a lot of comfort. At least for now.
“Go get washed up, then you should try and get some sleep as well.”
(Sleep is a laughable suggestion, but the shower is warranted. Itachi has stopped being able to smell himself a day or so ago, but he knows it’s been so long since he’s bathed that it’s beyond noticeable.)
He snags a towel out of the far closet, fishing out some dubious, cheap soap and shampoo someone had left behind.
“It’s that way,” Orochimaru says, pointing down the lone hallway and to the right.
“Hn.”
Once Itachi is off, Orochimaru sighs and decides he’d best take a rest too. He needs as much as he can get at this point, after all.
Once the kitchen is sorted out, he turns around and nearly jumps out of his skin to find himself being stared down.
“How the hell did you-”
Naruto shrugs, still peering up at Orochimaru with those obnoxiously blue eyes.
“You’re supposed to be in bed.”
“Can’t sleep.”
“Couldn’t you just find a book or something to keep busy?”
“Can’t do that either.”
“Why not?”
“Can’t read.”
As if this kid wasn’t already scientifically engineered to be pitied as it is, with those big, sad eyes and that round little face. Or the way he's just that little bit too thin. He gives off the same vibe as a stray puppy, and acts about as starved for attention.
“Well what do you want then?” Orochimaru huffs.
Naruto whimpers, grabbing Orochimaru’s wrist in both of his hands. He pouts, and refuses to budge.
“Do you hate me?”
The abrupt question throws Orochimaru for a loop.
“What do you mean?”
“Grownups all hate me. So you probably hate me too, right?”
“I’ve only just met you. Why would I already hate you?”
“I dunno. People don’t even have to meet me at all to hate me. Guess there’s somethin’ wrong with me, huh?”
Oh, how…pathetic?
No, that word is a bit too mean.
One might expect the son of the fourth Hokage to be some pampered little prince, used to having every whim indulged, never knowing an unpleasant moment in his life. That’s the sort of life Minato and his beloved wife would have wanted for him, and undoubtedly what Sarutobi would have sworn to provide for him before their untimely deaths.
Well. Orochimaru knows how little Sarutobi Hiruzen’s word is worth.
What can one even tell him in this situation? Let a child know he’s got a monster sealed up inside of him? Surely his little heart couldn’t take that.
“People hate a lot of things for stupid reasons,” he answers, instead. “That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Now if you don’t mind-”
He tries to shake Naruto off him, but the boy just clings on tighter.
“-I’d like to go to bed now. Let me go.”
“I wanna go with you then.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t sleep.”
“I can’t.”
This is going to be a pointless argument, isn’t it?
“Fine. just don’t bother me.”
Naruto practically bounces around, delighted to have won so easily.
(he’s lucky Orochimaru’s too worn-out to argue further.)
They’ll need to be gone before too long. Before anybody starts to wonder- hell, Sasori is probably already livid at his disappearance. Always acting like a bride that’s been stood up at the altar, that one.
Naruto crawls under the blankets with him, his scruffy blond head popping back up after some shuffling about.
“I thought you’d be slimy,” he remarks, and Orochimaru should probably feel offended, but Naruto says it in such a comical sort of way, with a scrunched-up nose and serious eyes, that offense is impossible.
“Quit squirming around so much,” he scolds, wrapping himself in the blanket and shutting his eyes. “We’ve got a lot we need to do, and I’m not doing it tired.”
“Yeah, yeah, grownups are always busy dattebayo.”
Such an odd little boy.
In fact, he reminds Orochimaru of Nawaki. Perhaps a bit too much for it to be comfortable.
Despite his declaration of not being tired, Naruto lets out a big yawn, settling in and shuffling around to get comfortable.
“...You’re not gonna make me go back, are ya?”
“I’m not planning on it.”
“Good. I don’t wanna go back yet.”
He sounds so…defeated? Sad? Something like that.
The boy clings to him like some sort of baby koala, laying his head against Orochimaru’s back.
“You think more grownups will like me someday?”
“I don’t have the foggiest idea.”
Too many questions. Where does that tiny head keep them all?
“Hey, can I call you mom?”
“What on earth gave you the impression I want to be called that?”
“Cause I bet my real mom was a pretty lady. N’ you’re a pretty lady. I dunno."
Well, that’s adorable. Orochimaru doesn’t even bother reminding the boy that he’s not actually a lady.
“Whatever you decide to call me is fine by me.”
That seems to make the boy happy. He settles down after that, and despite his earlier complaints about not being tired, falls asleep without any fuss after.
What bizarre creatures children are.