Wrong Side of Heaven

Kakashi had over done it, his Chakra was pretty much gone. If his levels were any lower he would be dead. Naruto was crying, probably hungry or wet, and Kakashi could barely move his arms. He couldn't risk going to the hospital and checking himself in, that would mean leaving Naruto with someone there. There was no way Kakashi would do that. Everyone was too upset, too damaged to be trusted to watch the nine-tailed baby.

"I was afraid this would happen."

Kakashi was sitting up with a kuni in his hand so fast the room spun, and his empty stomach lurched with the effort not to vomit. Naruto cried louder, and Kakashi's ears were ringing as he tried to focus his eyes on who had gotten through the seal on his window.

"Ah poor Kakashi if Minato could see you now."

Kakashi collapsed back into the bed as he realized whose voice it was.

Jiraiya.

"Master Jiraiya. I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear your voice."

Kakashi's voice was hoarse, his throat burning with thirst.

"You look absolutely terrible."

Kakashi would have rolled his eyes, but even the thought of it made him exhausted. Naruto was still screaming, and Kakashi used the little bit of energy he had to roll onto his side and place a hand on the infant. He stroked his hair, traced the whisker like scars on his cheeks, and wiped the tears as fast as they slipped out of Naruto's eyes. It hurt Kakashi more to listen to Naruto cry like this then someone breaking his leg, in fact he would prefer a broken limb to the ache in his chest.

"Don't do anything stupid. I'm just going to get him settled and then call Tsunade because your chakra depletion is more than I can help you with."

Kakashi nodded weakly as he felt his eyes sting with unshed tears. He was useless like this, too weak to even comfort Naruto who was no more than three days old. How was Kakashi supposed to do this for the rest of the infant's life? If memory served right Kakashi often ended up like this after difficult missions, not to mention he was still ANBU, and a captain at that.

He had yet to meet Tenzo at this time, it wasn't until a few months after Minato-sensei's death that he joined ROOT. Then the younger kid didn't even get out of ROOT until three years later after he tried to kill Kakashi. There was also the matter of Itachi, who joins Kakashi, and Tenzo in ANBU before he himself becomes a captain.

Stupid future memories, stupid younger body couldn't handle all his emotions he had once honed to never show unless he wanted. Now like this, so young he had lost it. Kakashi was close to actually crying as Jiraiya lifted Naruto from his nest of pillows.

"You okay over there?"

Kakashi nodded and blinked his eyes before the tears fell. He noticed he had taken the time to prep Naruto for sleep but he had fallen asleep in his civilian clothes, mask, and forehead protector. Kakashi felt even more pathetic as he realized he was barely taking care of himself at this rate. Ignoring his own stupid useless emotions, since they were getting him nowhere Kakashi turned his attention back to Jiraiya and Naruto.

Jiraiya was holding Naruto like he was breakable, and now that Kakashi thought about it at this age he was. Kakashi hoped this wouldn't change the relationship the two formed during the Chunin exams. If not for Jiraiya, Naruto never would have learned how to semi control the nine-tails sealed within him.

"He's perfect."

The older man's voice wavered as he stared down at the fussing baby. Naruto had stopped full out crying and was now making horrible little whimpering sounds that broke Kakashi's heart more to listen to.

"Yeah Naruto is everything Minato-sensei would have wanted him to be and more."

Jiraiya smiled slightly as he straightened up.

"Naruto? I wasn't paying attention during that meeting and missed his name."

Kakashi nodded again. He knew how hard this time was for the sanin. Jiraiya had just lost someone he considered a son, and Kushina who he loved just as much. Kakashi was a bigger mess the first time he had lived through this too. It had been made all the worse by the council's refusal to let him take Naruto. Kakashi had gone back to ANBU and buried himself in his missions. Everyone was a target, and no survivors were ever left in his wake.

"I'm sure you haven't heard of Sarutobi's mandate."

Kakashi knew Jiraiya was referring to the vow of silence everyone was supposed to take about Naruto being the nine-tails and Minato's son. Sarutobi thought it would protect the child, but the boy had suffered all the more for it in the end. It was however, one of the few things Kakashi knew without a doubt had to be the same. While it was difficult, the life Naruto had lived made him the man who saved them all more times than Kakashi could count. Instead of saying any of this though, Kakashi blinked questioningly to the white haired sanin.

"We are not to tell him of his parents, or the nine-tails. Sarutobi feels doing so will only put Naruto in danger, since outside sources would know who to target as the jinchuuriki of Konoha. As of right now no one outside of the village even knows the biju lives."

He had heard it all before, and even then he thought it was bullshit. Kakashi said nothing, instead he nodded and closed his eyes. He was so tired he could barely blink at this point.

Jiraiya had located the bag of supplies Kakashi had dumped out on this kitchen table and went about changing, and feeding the now calm baby. Listening to the man hum some unknown tune as he went about it made Kakashi want to keep talking to the sanin. He wondered if he could tell him or Tsunade the truth about himself, and the future. The dead Itachi hadn't said he couldn't tell others, and on one hand if they believed him one of the sanin would be a great asset to the cause. On the other hand, if they thought he was crazy Naruto would be out of his care so fast he wouldn't have a chance to form a hand sign.

'Better off not trying just yet.'

Kakashi let sleep overcome him once he was reassured Naruto was okay. Jiraiya was one of the few people Kakashi trusted with his infant student without a doubt. The list was short right now, but Kakashi knew the two sanin, Jiraiya, and Tsunade would never hurt Naruto. There was also Iruka Umino, who was still a genin but would probably be the best choice to leave Naruto with when he was away on missions. Him or Genma since he was one of the few who knew of Naruto's real parentage. Then in a few years when Tenzo left Root he could introduce him to Naruto too. Of course, there was Lord Hokage, his daughter, Asuma who should be returning to the village after hearing about the attack, and if he was desperate Gai was always available. Kakashi feared Naruto taking up a green jumpsuit that was more horrifying then the orange one he favored if he left Naruto with Gai too often.

"No Gai, don't give him that as a gift. He has weird taste in fashion to begin with."

Someone laughed next to Kakashi and he jumped. His body screamed in protest to the sudden movement but he tackled, or attempted to tackle the source of the sound. He had been dreaming of Gai giving a young Naruto a green jumpsuit for his birthday when the noise awoke him. There was a strong hand, pulsing with chakra holding Kakashi down after his failed attack. Once again he couldn't remember where he was.

Had it all been a dream?

Was he not dead?

Was Sakura trying to heal him?

"Sakura."

He croaked out, trying to get the young woman to ease her hold. She was making it hard for him to breath.

"Are you with us Kakashi?"

Kakashi snapped his eye open again in realization. That was Shizune's voice. So it wasn't a dream, he was fifteen, his student, teammates, his family were all infants right now. There was no way Sakura would have been the one healing him.

"Ooh, Kakashi who is this Sakura?"

That would be Tsunade. He shook his head to clear it a bit before finally meeting the gaze of the young woman currently healing him.

"Someone I used to know."

Shizune smiled softly, understanding what he meant. Sakura was someone he wouldn't met for twelve years roughly. At this rate the young woman he knew might as well be dead until that time. At least he didn't have to worry about altering her past. Sakura had civilian parents who loved her. Just the thought made him feel guilty all over again. Once again he was leaving Sakura to her own devices and focusing on the boys.

"You should be good to go in a few more hours. We'll do a couple of more chakra transfer sessions, and I'll leave you with a few extra strong supplement tablets."

Tsunade was standing at his bookcase while she spoke to him. Jiraiya had Naruto in his arms still and Kakashi wondered if the older man had even put the baby down while Kakashi was out. From the barely restrained expression of pain on Tsunade's face, Kakashi was going with no, Jiraiya hadn't put Naruto down. The tension was palpable in the room, it was making his skin crawl, or that could have been the chakra Shizune was forcing into his body.

"Drink this."

It had been an hour or so since Kakashi had woken up. Shizune was sleeping at the foot of his bed, she had completely drained herself from the advanced technique she had been using and kicked his feet out of the way to make room for herself. Jiraiya hadn't said much, he was still completely entranced by Naruto, who he had yet to put down. Tsunade was flipping through his sparse collection of books. She held out a glass of water to him now, and Kakashi drank without question.

"I think we might be good with that. I'll let Lord Hokage know you're off missions for at least a week but I don't think you need another transfusion. I'll still leave the tablets for you, two with every meal until any dizziness, or fatigue is gone."

Kakashi knew she was compartmentalizing, falling into her medic-nin training and barking orders. He knew the minute she was done talking to Sarutobi the woman would be gone. In fact, Jiraiya hadn't stayed in the village this long the last time. The older man had left the minute Naruto's fate had been decided and didn't return for twelve years from his travels.

"No problem. I guess that means you'll be going now?"

Tsunade nodded. She went about waking up Shizune and left the tablets on the table. Before she left she placed a hand on Jiraiya's shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. Kakashi couldn't hear what it was, but he sat up in his bed when the older man stood from his seat.

"It was good seeing you kid. I know you'll take good care of this little guy here."

Tsunade and Shizune left out of Kakashi's rarely used door, as Jiraiya stood in front of Kakashi holding Naruto out to him. Kakashi took the baby and felt stress he didn't even know he had slowly start to fade.

"I think he'll take good care of you too, Kakashi."

The teen looked up at the man. He hadn't thought about Naruto being good for himself, everything he was doing now was so his team would be better. So they would live with less hate, less pain, so they wouldn't fall apart in the end. None of what Kakashi had done up to this point had really been about himself. But hearing those words, spoken out loud to him by one of the wisest men he knew was earth shaking.

"Really I don't know how good I'm going to be at this. I've never dealt with anyone below the age of ten, I really don't know the first thing about babies."

Kakashi chuckled at his own truths. Jiraiya smiled, not one of his usual grins that were contagious, but a small smile, one that showed healing.

"I'm not an expert either. I'd advise talking some more with Sarutobi-sensei if that's your biggest concern in all of this."

He knew that, but he also didn't want to talk too much with the older man. The last thing Kakashi wanted was to let something important slip, and alter the past beyond repair.

"What if I told you I was doing this because I wanted to change his future?"

Jiraiya nodded and sat on the edge of Kakashi's bed, thinking to himself before responding.

"Do you think not taking Naruto in would have changed how he grew up, who he grows up to be one day?"

Kakashi nodded, because that was exactly what he was thinking.

"Well I don't know the future Kakashi, but I do know this. There is no stopping fate, only the route we take to get there. If something is meant to be, then so it shall be."

"I don't want to really stop fate, I just want to change it. I don't want Naruto to grow up being the hated jinchuuriki of Konoha. I want everyone to love him as much as I do, but I know that will never happen with how things are. In fact, I fear me taking him in might only bring more trouble to him than if I had let the council give him to an orphanage."

Jiraiya grabbed Kakashi's shoulders in a near painful grip as he forced the younger man to meet his eyes.

"Never think anyone is better off alone Kakashi. If you love this child that is all he will need to grow up happy. Sure, he might seek more in life, we all do but this is for the best."

He took a deep breath and seemed to be struggling with something before he made up his mind and finished his thought.

"They would have been so proud of you Kakashi. Both are resting in peace knowing you are taking care of Naruto, and that someday he will be there to take care of you as well. They would be happy you two are still a family, even if they cannot be here anymore with you."

Jiraiya looked like he was about to cry as he stood up off the bed, heading towards the window.

"Sensei."

The older man stopped in his attempt to leave at Kakashi's call.

"I know you have to travel, its what's best for you right now. Just promise me one day, not too long from now you will come back to Konoha. Naruto could learn so much from you, and I want him to show you how proud he would make Minato-sensei and Kushina."

Jiraiya said nothing but the subtle nod of his head was all Kakashi needed to know the man would do as he asked.