Of Crushed Dreams
Naruto was an orphan. That’s a well-known fact, just how it was a well-known fact that aside from a handful of people the whole village hates him. That was the hand that he was dealt with. It the life he would have wanted for himself, but from a young age, he learned that you don't always get what you want. You definitely don’t get much of a choice on what your future looks like if your Naruto Uzumaki.
While there's a lot that Naruto knows, there were two things that weren’t always obvious to him. The first one being that Naruto Uzumaki was to fight for the hidden village of the leaf; not only as a shinobi but as one of their greatest weapons. This was a well-known fact for the elders of the village since the day he was born. The day Naruto was born was the day that his parents died but it was also the day the Hidden Leaf Village got a new jinchuriki.
Naruto didn’t know this, how could he have known that his fate was sealed less than a few minutes after he was born. But in the end, nothing would have changed. Naruto Uzumaki was to become a weapon for the Village to will.
Their plan was set into motion the moment they deemed Naruto ready. And so at the tender age of six, Naruto was to enter the academy and learn the basics that he'll need to be a genie. At the tender age of six, all Naruto wanted to do was work with plants and maybe one day have his own flower shop. But that will never stop being a pipe dream.
“Naruto-kun being a florist isn’t a career path you can follow.”
“But why?”
“It just isn’t. Being a shinobi gives more stability. And if later on you still want to have a flower shop once you're a jounin you can open your own flower shop.”
Naruto’s dream was crushed at a young age, by the one man he saw as family. And had the Hokage taken the time to ask himself what was best for little Naruto he would have realized that what was best for Naruto was for him to be free.
That’s not to say that there wasn’t anything good in Naruto’s life. Akira was the embodiment of hope in Naruto’s eyes.
Akira, come to his life long before the Third Hokage realized that he was, in fact, living in the streets. Naruto had been kicked out of the orphanage a week after his fourth birthday. He didn’t know what was happening, not at first at least. He always thought he would be allowed to return once they weren’t angry at him anymore. Yet when he kept being kicked out night after night Naruto understood that he wasn’t welcomed anymore.
One night Naruto wandered on to the Red District, he had been looking for a warm place to sleep and for some food to fill his stomach. Yet even in the Red District, he was hated. No one was willing to help him. But being in the Red District was better than being on the nicer side of the village.
Naruto had not eaten in days, and that had taken a toll on his health but having to spend a rainstorm with only a cardboard box as a refuses hadn’t helped. So it wasn’t a surprise when Naruto collapsed due to a high fever. That’s how Akira found him.
Anyone else would have left him there to die, but Akira wasn’t like everyone else. Akira knew how cruel life could be. She had only been five when she was sold by her own father to a woman that just saw her body as a source of income. For the past five years, Akira had lived hell on earth and seeing Naruto on that alley broke her heart. So without even thinking twice about it, Akira picked Naruto up and took him to her home.
From that day forward Naruto was raised by Akira in the same okiya where her life had become hell on earth. And just like that Akira became Aki-nee-chan. Naruto couldn't have asked for a better mother figured, after all, it was because of Aki-nee-chan that Naruto could still continue to smile.
Six Years Later
Naruto Uzumaki was not a happy camper. He was fucking posted. For the past six years, he had been working his ass off to become a shinobi. His Aki-nee-chan would be so proud of him. So for his new sensei to tell him that if he fails a test, it was back to the academy for him and the rest of team seven. If you ask Naruto, he had not trained six years for him to end up going back to the academy. No sir, he was not stepping foot back in that hell hole, even if it would mean more time with Iruka-sensei.
But Naruto was not stupid, no matter what everyone thought, he knew that there was something fishy about the test. So he had tested their Sensei with a few clones. While the clones were busy acting as a distraction, he hunted down the rest of his team.
He decided to take it to the trees. It didn’t take long for him to Sasuke.
To be honest, Naruto didn’t know how to feel about Sasuke, especially after that rather dark introduction. But there was something that pulled him towards Sasuke, that didn’t mean that he likes the temen. He might not know why he felt a pull towards him, but he did know that Sasuke was the biggest temen there was. But he had to learn to get along with Sasuke if he wanted Team Seven to pass this stupid test.
“Oi temen,” he whispers from the tree he was hiding. Sasuke had stiffened when he heard his voice but hadn’t looked at him. “Up here temen.”
The moment Sasuke looked up, Naruto took great pride in seeing the Uchiha’s eyes widen, even though it only lasted a few seconds.
“What are you doing up there dobe?” Sasuke hissed, “You’re going to give me away.”
Naruto tsked at Sasuke’s words and motion him to join him in the tree branched. When the Uchiha didn’t move Naruto just sighed and join him in the bushes that he was hiding in.
“The test is a sham.” Naruto blurted out.
Sasuke looked at Naruto as if he had just heard the dumbest thing ever. “Why would it be a sham dobe.”
“Because temen, there has never been a three-man team in the history of Konoha.”
There was a moment of silence as Sasuke processed what Naruto told him before he realized that Naruto had indeed been right. It had never happened in the history of Konoha, and he would know he had read all about the history of Konoha before he joined the academy.
“Even if it’s a sham, he could still fail us all together dobe.”
Naruto grinned. “Exactly temen, he’ll fail us together as a team which means that he’ll only pass us as a team too.”
//\\//\\//\\
“Sakura you know where you have to be and what you have to do right?” Sasuke asked as he kept a watchful eye out for Naruto’s signal.
Sakura who had been trying to not blushed nodded before answering. “Yes, Sasuke-Kun. I have to be in the bushes across from where we are right now. And when you and Naruto managed to get Kakashi-sensei close enough to the bushes I pull the trigger that'll set off the traps that Naruto set up.”
Sakura, still couldn't believe her luck because she was in the same team as Sasuke-kun, unlike Ino pig. Sure Naruto was there, but that didn't matter right now because Sasuke-kun was talking to her. And they were so close too. Now all that Sakura had to do was impress Sasuke-kun with her skills, and that will surely make him see her potential, both as a kunoichi and a wife.
Sasuke nodded but not once did he take his eyes away from where Naruto was. He couldn't bother to think about such trivial things such as love and romance. His only goal in life was to avenge his clan and to be honest romances would just be in the way of it all. He could think about finding some to carry on the Uchiha legacy with later on.
But right now passing this test was the main obstacle between Sasuke and his goal. It must be overcome, no matter the risk.
“Naruto is in position, now don’t forget the plan Sakura.”
//\\//\\//\\
In the end, it was mired luck that they got the bells. Kakashi-sensei knew it. Sure they had worked together to get the bells, but it had come down to luck.
Everything had been going as planned until Kakashi-sensei had figured out he was being led to a trap. Naruto being the prank expert that he is had foreseen this and had a backup plan laid out. It had worked, Kakashi-sensei was surprised, and Sasuke and Sakura had managed to take a bell each. And now, Naruto was tied to a post.
This sucks, but at least Aki-nee-chan had forced him to have breakfast that morning.
As a final test Kakashi-sensei had tied Naruto to a post as punishment for not getting a bell, while Sasuke and Sakura got to eat lunch right in front of him, with the order to not give him any. And they were following request to the dot.
But Naruto was okay with not eating lunch if it meant that Team 7 passed.
After an hour of having left them to eat their lunch, Kakashi-sensei came back, and while he didn’t look pleased Naruto knew they had passed.
“We meet tomorrow in training ground seven at nine on the dot.” Just like he came, he left.
//\\//\\//\\
“Aki-nee-chan!” Naruto yelled as he stormed through the Okiya in search of his Aki-nee-chan. He was too excited about having passed the test to remember that he wasn’t supposed to be so loud. But he just couldn’t help it.
Akira who had heard all the ruckus was making her way downstairs to see what caused her Naru-chan to be so excited.
“Naruto what have I told you about yelling,” Akira told Naruto as she made her way now the stairs.
Smiling sheepishly at Akira, Naruto bowed his head while apologizing. “Sorry nee-chan, but I’m officially a genin now.”
//\\//\\//\\
“Your mission for today will be to capture Momo the cat.”
Naruto was starting to regret ever becoming a genin with the number of times they had to capture that stupid cat. But not today.
“No.”
Iruka-sensei who was standing behind the Hokage jerked his head towards Naruto's direction. “What did you just say Naruto-Kun.”
Naruto who had been looking at the ground since they had entered the Hokage’s offices, raised his head to meet the Hokage’s eyes before making his demands known. “I’m sick and tired of doing D rank missions, especially the ones that involve that damn cat. We’re ready for our C rank. “
“Naruto you can’t talk to the Hokage that way!” Iruka yelled as his left eye twitched in annoyance.
While the room was filled with Iruka scolding Naruto, Sasuke was the one that brought them back to the original topic. “Hn, dobe is right. We’re ready for a C rank.”
//\\//\\//\\
Maybe they hadn’t been ready for a C rank. Oh, who was he kidding they definitely weren’t ready for a C rank at all. No matter how easy the mission seemed, Naruto had heard stories about missions that at surface level seem easy but in reality, they ended up being among the most dangerous of missions. Sure these stories had been told by drunk retired shinobi, but Aki-nee-chan always said that drunks and children always tell the truth.
Since they had left the village Naruto had hoped that the only problem they would face was that Sakura might end up killing their client if he didn't shut up soon. Naruto wouldn’t really blame Sakura but then again they would have to explain to the Hokage why their client had been killed. That had been Naruto’s only concern until those twin assholes made their move.
And now that Naruto thought about it they really weren’t ready for a C rank, actually, they just weren’t ready for whatever rank this mission was. For crying out loud his had was a bloody mess and he's pretty sure that those weapons were coated in poison so that’s fun. Kakashi-sensei, who was supposed to be making sure that they didn’t die, was nowhere to be seen.
“Naruto are you really going to drag us down now? Even Sakura is being useful.” Sasuke’s voice brought Naruto’s attention back to the fight.
“Shut up temen!”
Sasuke wanted him to be useful? He’ll show him who dragging who down.
Naruto was graceful that he listen to Aki-nee-chan and studied those poisonous plants.
//\\//\\//\\
Naruto’s first encounter with death had been during the incident with that traitor Mitsuki. Iruka-sensei had told him that he hadn’t done anything wrong, he had acted in self-defense. Aki-nee-chan had told him that same thing as she held him as he wept. Naruto had always detested violence. He couldn’t understand why people couldn’t just stop with the whole fighting and killing.
Yet as he saw Kakashi-sensei kill their attackers without an ounce of remorse, he couldn’t help but think if one day he would also kill in cold blood. Was he going to stop feeling guilty over taking a life? Was he going to face death in the eyes as it was nothing but an old acquaintance?
Maybe it’s because he’s not really paying attention to what Kakashi-sensei is doing, not after he killed the man that is, that he misses the question he was asked.
“Naruto are you listening?” Kakashi-sensei asked as he snapped his fingers in front of Naruto’s face. Having not played attention Naruto shook his head. “I asked you what did you inject them with.”
“Oh um I read in a book that certain plants can be poisonous and I thought that it would be useful to try and use that during missions.”
Naruto knew that Sakura and Sasuke were looking at him weirdly, they must have thought that because he was at the bottom of the class that he knew nothing. Yet Kakashi-sensei wasn’t giving anything away.
“What plant?”
“Cicuta maculata or most commonly known as Water Hemlock. The whole plant is poisonous but I only used the roots. It takes 15 minutes for it to fully kill a person since it attacks the central nervous system. There was something else but I can’t really remember.”
By the end of his little rant, Sasuke and Sakura are looking at him as if this was the first time they were seeing him. Kakashi-sensei was well Kakashi-sensei. Naruto had a hard time understanding Kakashi-sensei on a regular basis so at this given moment Naruto was still very much lost.
//\\//\\//\\
Naruto was done. He was fucking done.
Who fucking thinks its a good idea to hide the fact that there’s missing nims after you? Naruto was ready to hand in his resignation letter the moment they set foot in the village again.
Fuck this being a shinobi Naruto was going to be Aki-nee-chan to train him in the arts of the geisha. Sure Aki-nee-chan would probably laugh in his face but it won’t hurt to try.
But first Naruto would have to survive this little head to toe with Zabuza.
//\\//\\//\\
“You should grind some lavender and apply it around the wound. But the herbs you have are good too.”
Naruto glanced at the person next to him. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that the person was extremely beautiful. The other person turned to look at Naruto making him blush since he was caught staring.
“What’s your name?”
“What?” Naruto squealed out. “I mean my name is Naruto Uzumaki.”
“Nice to meet you Naruto-kun.” my name is Haku.”
Haku’s smile was as beautiful and breathtaking as Aki-nee-chan’s.
//\\//\\//\\
“Sasuke why?”
“My body moved by itself.”
//\\//\\//\\
“I’ll show you what a monster looks like.”
//\\//\\//\\
Time skip: One week after the land of wave mission
Naruto could no longer sleep at night.
Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the body of Haku and Zabuza. While he wasn’t the one that killed either of them, guilt and regret were slowly eating at him. Had he managed to distract Haku earlier he wouldn’t have to take the blow for Zabuza, but then again that wouldn’t have changed anything. In the end, they would have still won, and both missing nim would have lost their lives.
Yet, the nightmares started, and sleep becomes a distant friend.
Nightmares of him being the one to kill them, alongside the death of Sasuke all because of his incompetence. Even though every time he woke up, he knew that Sasuke was alive, he also knew that Haku and Zabuza weren’t.
And in the end, Haku and Zabuza were vitamins. Both were handed a shitty hand that in the end would lead to their death.
//\\//\\//\\
Joining the chuunin exams was a mistake. A fucking stupid mistake if anyone asked Naruto. They weren’t ready; as if the mission to waves was any indication.
Don’t get him wrong, he was excited, but Naruto knew from the very beginning that it was going to go up in flames. While the first part had been tamed, the Forest of Death had been a hurricane. Sasuke had a creepy-ass stalker that apparently found his places among snakes. And if that wasn’t enough the fact that they had to fight after having faced the snake was the cherry on top to this whole shit fest.
Sakura was on her way to becoming a kunoichi, but her fight with Ino left a lot to be desired. She was still too green, too naive. While she had learned what it meant to be a true kunoichi in waves and the Forest of Death, there was still a long way to go for her.
Sasuke proves that he had the potential to be a formidable shinobi. He had won his fight, even though he had a handicap. And his fight left many with the desire to fight him in the next round. But in the end, he was still taken to the hospital to get treatment for his injuries from the Forest of Death.
Naruto took them all by surprise. He was the dead last of his class, yet he managed to win a fight against Kiba by only using his wits and playing mind games with Kiba and Akamaru. While he had won, it felt hollow. None of his teammates were there to cheer for him. And he had to accept the fact that no one in these villages, aside from Ari-nee-chan and the girls, saw what he had to afford.
But the whole damn reason why it had been a mistake was evident during the final stage of chunin exams. Suna had join forces with that snake freak to take down the leaf village. Fucking fantastic. Naruto was fucking pissed at the whole lots of idiots that thought that the snake freak had been done.
Naruto had to fight someone that only showed him what he could have become. That whole fight served to remind him of what he was to the leaf village. Naruto Uzumaki was nothing more than a weapon of mass destruction. But he didn’t want that to be his life and most of all he wished that Gaara hadn’t lived the life that he had.
Life wasn’t always fair.
//\\//\\//\\
The third Hokage had given his life to save the village. The village was, but it now needs a new Hokage to take the hat. Naruto knew from having been around Jiraiya that there weren’t a lot of options on the table. But there wasn’t enough time to really stop and think about what the rational choice was. Not with the threat of another attack. Especially after the attack was made by the Akatsuki.
Nobody had been ready for an attack, not by two S-racked missing nim. Kakashi was in need of medical help seeing as he had overused his Sharingan too much. And Sasuke...Sasuke was in a coma of sorts.
Itachi Uchiha hadn't been merciful, not even because it was his brother he was fighting. Nobody knew what he had shown Sasuke that would lead to him being in such a state, but all Naruto knew is that Sasuke needed to wake up.
And so Naruto had to set off with Jiraiya to bring back the one person that was worthy of the hat; at least that’s what Jiraiya said. It hadn’t seemed like a difficult mission. But then again when do they ever seem to be anything but simple.
They had found Tsunade and Naruto had been so glad that he was one step closer to going back home, but then that Kabuto guy had to show up. It hadn't matter really seeing as in the end, Naruto had overpowered Kabuto, and Tsunade was coming back home with them.
But what Naruto would never tell anyone was that he was glad that they were going back to treat Sasuke's injuries. Kakashi and Lee would also be healed, but Sasuke was always at the forefront of his thoughts.
//\\//\\//\\
They were too late. Naruto was too late, once again. While they and made it in time to treat Kakashi and Lee, Sasuke was gone by the time they had arrived. And while Sasuke was dead, Naruto didn't know what would have been better than he had died or the fact that he had left.
By the time they had arrived Sasuke was missing.
According to Sakura, Sasuke had woken up a day or so after they left and had seemed reasonable. While he hadn't spoken much, they figured it was normal after everything that he had been through. But just last night he had taken off.
Sakura said that Sasuke had told her that he had to leave to gain the power he needed to kill his brother. Sasuke had chosen to take Orochimaru offered and become a missing-nim
//\\//\\//\\
“Please Sasuke, come back to the village with me. We can grow stronger together as a team.”
“Don’t be stupid Naruto. Konoha will not allow me to grow to my full potential.”
“In the case, I’ll just have to drag you back with me temen.”
//\\//\\//\\
Naruto didn’t know how they had gotten to this point. He had been sure that he was going to be able to stop Sasuke from leaving, he had asked the Fox for his power. Yet here he was in his back with his vision darkening with each passing second. Once again the life had not allowed him to get his way.
Sasuke was standing over Naruto, not knowing why he felt like a part of him was in agonizing pain. This is what he wanted. So why did he doubt himself?
Kneeling down he let his head hover overs Naruto’s. Just for a few moments, he let himself show his weakness. The raindrops falling on to Naruto’s face could have passed for tears; his tears.
Standing up he let his headband fall next to Naruto before he turned his back on his former teammate.
By the time Naruto regain conscious all that was left of Sasuke was his headband.
//\\//\\//\\
Life had not stopped. Everyone around him went on with their lives as is nothing had happened. And Naruto hated it because Sasuke had left and he hadn’t been able to stop him. He had failed.
When Kakashi-sensei found him that day, Naruto had wished that he hadn’t woken up. The look on Kakashi-sensei’s faces made him realized just how much he had failed. Sasuke was his friend, but he was also Kakashi’s student, someone Kakashi cared about, and he had been unable to bring him back home.
The journey had been filled with tensed silences. Neither spoke, there was nothing to say.
Granny had made him tell her what had happened. As he recalled the fight with Sasuke at the Valley of the End, the hollow feeling he was feeling in the pit of his stomach grew and spread to his whole body. Granny had told him to go rest that she was going to talk to the council and sort out the situation, but that he had done enough for now.
He didn’t understand how he had done enough when he knew he could have done more to bring Sasuke home. And now as he looks down at the villages, he couldn't help but think of all the things he could have had different. Maybe if he had been stronger Sasuke would be here in the village and Sakura would be able to look at him without getting teary eyes and Kakashi-sensei would be able to look at him in the eyes again.
//\\//\\//\\
“Naru-chan you’re not paying attention.”
“Sorry, Nee-chan.” Naruto shook his head to get rid of all the negative thoughts in his head. He hated himself for getting lost in those kind of thoughts especially in front of Aki-nee-chan. Everything was going well, Aki-nee-chan had been teaching him a new dance that involved fans when he thought about Sasuke. The blue fan he had been holding in his hand hadn’t help, seeing as it helps remind him of Sasuke’s clan symbol. And how he had worry Aki-nee-chan.
Akira stood in front of Naruto, with a sad expression. She had never wanted Naruto to go through everything he had gone through. It pained her to see Naruto, whom she saw as her little brother, in pain.
“Why don’t we take a break from today’s lesson and go see what Riri-chan is cooking in the kitchen.”
//\\//\\//\\
“Ne Aki-nee-chan are you happy?”
Akira who had been doing her makeup, froze before she focuses on Naruto’s reflection on her mirror. “Of course I’m happy Naru-chan. Why would you ask me that.”
Naruto who had been playing with a hairpin, meet Akira's eye through the mirror. “I remember how when we were younger you used to cry yourself to sleep. I know you didn’t want me to notice, but I didn’t like hearing you cry.”
Setting down her brush Akira stood up and walked towards Naruto. Sitting down in front of Naruto she brought a hand to his cheek before she spoke.
“I will not lie to you Naru-chan, back then I hated my life, but things have changed. Back then I worked for a woman that saw my body as a source of income, but now that I own my okiya I’m happy now. Because now I can help young girls that were in my position back then have a better life. Being a geisha might have not been my dream as a child, but it’s something I grew to love. So yes Naru-chan I am happy.”
Naruto looked at her searching for the lie, but he didn’t find it. Aki-nee-chan was happy living the life of a geisha. He smiled at her as he lends into her touch. “I’m glad that nee-chan is happy.”
“Are you happy Naru-chan?”
//\\//\\//\\
Was Naruto happy with his life?
He had a roof over his head and a steady income. He was a shinobi, just like he wanted and was one step closer to becoming Hokage.
But that didn’t bring him happiness. Quite the opposite in fact; it left him hollow.
Being a shinobi hadn’t brought any long-lasting positive effect on his life. It only brought him heartache. He had seen people who were trying to do good die for the wrong cause. What was the point of fighting if in the end you still will not make a difference.
The Third was dead.
Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei weren’t speaking to him outside the mission they had together.
And Sasuke...Sasuke had left him. Sasuke had made his choice, he had left Naruto behind and follow his path as the avenger.
Sasuke had left him...fuck Sasuke left him.
A sobbed wrecked through Naruto’s body. He couldn’t take it, anyone, the tears that he had been holding back for so long finally spilled over. His Ocean blue eyes were clouded by his tears, and his body was shaking by the heart-wrenching sobbed that was wrecking his body.
There was no point lying to himself. Naruto Uzumaki wasn’t happy with his life