Beta
051. Childhood
It lingers between them like a ghost they ignore. The memory of their first meeting, the single day of happiness that was untainted. And then it was spoiled, mere hours later, when Hizashi goes down screaming and clutching his head.
A day so short and so long ago, but it is there nonetheless, the memory of a single day where they had both been obliviously happy in each other's company. It's the perpetual elephant in a tutu dancing in the corner of their vision through the years as Neji knocks Hinata down again and again; then, it was an object of hatred. Now, as Neji walks next to her and tries to make up for his cruelty, it is a thing of awkward mention and bitter regret.
052. Fathers
He sees the Haruno's out at the market shopping and watches as the accountant brush a hand soothingly into his daughter's pink hair. The Nara shadow walker is lazy and walks in the street with a constant slouch of flippantly, his son walking almost identically next to him. The Yamanaka's blonde hair swings in the wind and he is as annoying as he is loud when he is boasting of his daughter's accomplishments. When Hinata passes the genin test after graduation to become a team under the most specialized illusionist Konoha has had in generations, there is speculation rampant in what makes this group so special to the be second ever genin team to be apprenticed to Kurenai, after a 4 year gap of failing previously talented and well respected clan member combos.
Hizashi would have been so proud, but Hiashi can't bring himself to put his prides into words at all and only walks away.
053. Beating hearts
Sometimes Hinata wonders if they realize how easy it is to kill and that is why she is so scared. The chakra points never shined so bright as the one slightly off centre from the heart. She sees where all the lines connect in a knot. One touch, one push of the Gentle Fist, even just one touch of her fingertip, and the internal chakra circulation would stop; the system collapsing into itself, the heart freezing then expanding and exploding, and the body would give up. She wonders why the human form is so complicated but so fragile, and why no one ever protects themselves because their stances are strong but they always leave themselves open for that final ending strike.
She wavers as she evades her Father's strikes and lurches back from the hits, she scans the body for the other weaknesses her instructors are always telling her, but her eyes are always drawn back to the shining point just off from the beating organ that keeps them all alive.
Her Father barks at her to be focused, to find the charka system points, and to stop staring at dead zones. Hinata once again jumps back, then into the fight, and wonders if it is called a dead zone because that is what they will be when someone hits that spot, but she can't force herself to strike, even when her Father is always open, to find out. Instead she scans her eyes for other points and tries to dim the light from her Sight of that main point and the other shining marks where her Father has said where no attacks were available.
054. Pain
The first time she breaks her leg, the pain is sharp and constant and it burns, but she grits her teeth and endures it. The first time she breaks her knuckles from a moment of incorrect fist hold, she readjusts her hand and tries again. The first time her chakra rebels and tries to take her from inside out, she bits her lip until it bleeds and fights back. The next time her family turns and walks away breaking her heart, she keeps silent and keeps moving.
She is already used to the pain.
055. Inappropriate
They are engaged but the wedding date is not until a month later. When they had first proposed the idea of the betrothal, Neji had stiffened and Hinata had gone pale. But that was three years ago and now as the Clan hurries about trying to finish the preparations for the long awaited day, the adults turned a blind eye and vision to the scene in the back of the House as Hanabi beats down Neji with a pillow, forcing him out of the room, and screeching at the top of her lungs: he is a man! What did he think he was doing! It was Hinata's room! He had to get out, get out, get out! Her sister wasn't some floozy he could just visit whenever he felt like it! He has to wait the month before he is allowed to sleep in the same room with Hinata!
Hiashi winces as Hanabi reaches a particular high note, and almost feels pity for his nephew if it weren't for the bubbling pride for Hanabi. Obviously Neji was in the wrong. They were going to give Hinata to him for the rest of their lives together, he can wait the damn month!
No, that was not his used-to-be-unknown insanely overprotective father instincts that he had been acting on for the past few months.
056. Teasing
"So," Naruto said as he stuck a lollipop into his mouth, walking down the street next to Neji, "you were one of those kids who did the ‘I pick on you because I like you' routine eh?"
Neji sent him a dark look. "One word: Sasuke."
Naruto bit down hard and his candy shattered inside his mouth. He ignored his aching teeth. "You have a point there. I'll shut up now."
057. Whither Flower(s)
When the winter settles in and her garden no longer blooms in the chill, there are books and papers all around the small tool shed she had claimed as her own. Neji picks up a volume absently while he waits and lets it fall open to the page with a pressed white lily. He gently traces the petal edges. He remembers giving it to her a month ago.
058. Eyes
For as long as she can remember, she has never found someone with the same eyes as her. Her family and doctors thought it was the result due to her early birth by two months, that she had not finished developing in the womb, but she had never had problems with her sight. Her classmates and neighbourhood children thought it was unique and quite cool that her eyes were white.
She lived her life with that fact that it her eyes were different, some even said her vision was superior, but it had never caused her too much trouble. When she moved from the countryside to go to high school in Tokyo, she was remarked upon but never to the point she couldn't handle the speculation, until the day she was walking to school and she looked up to see her eyes staring back at her in his face.
059. Mothers
Hyuuga Nanae had been a submissive wife and a mother second. She was a traditional girl brought up in the old ways a male dominant culture. She had wanted to protest but had not believed she had the power to change anything when her husband split her twins apart into two Houses.
Hyuuga Akari was not a tough woman. She had been the youngest sibling of four and the only girl in a family of a minor noble name. When she married Hizashi, it was seen as step up from her station. She had not been brought up to fight but when her husband had abandoned her and their son selfishly for the love of his twin and Clan, she pushed and pulled and found a strength in herself she had never thought possible. Because her son had lost his father, but she'll be damned before he'll grow up loveless.
Hyuuga Honi had been a bright happy child, the beloved child of her family. Her parents and her older brother had doted upon her. Her childhood was made up of laughter and days frolicking happily in the sun. The Hyuuga Main House was damp and depressive, there were many rules and restrictive protocols. She was too high in station to maintain her old friendships and too weak in skills for the Clan to actively take an interest in her training. In the following years she lived for her husband and the thought of her children. When the Clan rejected her firstborn and tried to turn her two daughters against each other, it crushed her spirit and she withdrew into herself.
Hyuuga Hinata was young, weak, and shy. She had no obvious exceptional mastery of the Gentle Fist like her cousin Neji, nor the seemingly raw potential of her sister. Her eyes were down cast, her footsteps silent, shoulders usually slumped in her teenage years, but she left medical creams on her younger sisters desk at the end of a hard day, brushed the girl's hair in time for formal attendances, allowed the second daughter to be a child in an ninja's upbringing, hummed her soft songs to sleep, and held the smaller girl in her arms when the world caved in. The rest of her Clan easily overlooked her small form but she was the only mother Hanabi had ever known.
060. Death
She stands at the edge of a cliff, eyes gazing far into the distance silently. The wind sweeps up from below and takes towards the east; away from the setting sun and her raggedly cut ends of hair are lifted up. The sky is a mix of purples and oranges, bright and solemn at the end of the day. She lifts her clenched fist forward and the wind sweeps at the long strands of luminous blue hair, pulling it back and forth in circles.
She lets it go, four longs years worth of growth. The wind catches it and she watches, as it is swept past the edge and falling towards the sea. She shifts her body away and takes one last look towards the horizon before she moves on.
061. Screaming voices
"OH MY GOD! Hinata!" Ino screams as she sees her the first time after she has come back from her mission. "What did you do to your hair!"
She reaches up to touch the uneven strands self-consciously. "I-I look better with short hair."
Ino stares, then sighs and pulls the chair out from the left. She indicates that Hinata should sit down. The Hyuuga does so cautiously. Ino hums and murmurs looking at her from various angles before picking out a kunai. The blonde girl starts shearing away the unequal ends and fashions the cut to be more stylish.
"You know," the other kunoichi says conversationally, "The last time I had to do this, Sakura did something foolish."
Hinata smiles softly. "Yes. But I didn't do anything foolish."
There is a contemporary silence then a smile, "You don't. Even if we'll never find out what it is you did."
062. Meekness
"Stop." She whispers but he continues to take off her clothes. "Stop." She says again and he ignores her as he starts to take off his own clothes. "Stop." She whispers and all he does is push opens her legs and fills her. " Why don't you listen to me?" she asks.
"I can't." he says after, holding her tight. " I can't obey you, not in this." He turns them both to their side and spoons her. "Mine."
063. Strength
She slaps him so hard his face whips to the side and his cheek is white with the shape of her palm before it rushes red. She glares at him furiously and he keeps his face to the side wall, jaw locked tight, not willing to stand down.
"Uh...Hinata." Ten Ten said nervously trying to pacify them.
"Never," Hinata says though clenched teeth, "say that about Naruto-kun again."
Neji is silent and his anger blazes in his eyes, but he does not reply. Both their teams stand tensely on the side, not aware of what brought the confrontation on. Hinata stands in front of her cousin, daring him to look at her in the eyes but Neji stands unmoving, body locked, and doesn't turn his face back. After a while she whirls around and stalks away from them, ignoring their curiously eyes.
064. Birds
A few flap of the wings and they are gone, soaring into the free blue sky until they vanish from sight and Neji aches as he watches them. For so long he had thought their flight had symbolized freedom, but now as he wonders from place to place, he wonders if the true freedom was having a place to land.
065. Colors / White
Sometimes it's soft, tender and gentle. And Neji doesn't mind it at all.
Sometimes it's pain, and hurt and heartache all rolled into one. And Hinata doesn't say anything.
Sometimes it's wondrous and beautiful and full of betrayal, but they don't think about that.
Sometimes it's fragments, pieces, shards of themselves they've left behind, but they never stop to pick it up. Sometimes it's hearts, hopes, souls they've given away, but never asked for back.
Sometimes they hide away and sneak off, forget the hate, and simply live. Touch. Smell. Feel.
Sometimes, the milky whiteness of their eyes means more.
066. Jealousy
She smiles, softly, abashed, and a little bit embarrassed as she ducks her head to hide her flushing face. Naruto standing in front of her laughs awkwardly, clueless about what he might of done wrong and stammers a few broken sentences before trying to leave. Hinata is alarmed of Naruto's presence, but not in the same way as she is of his.
And the feeling sweeps through him, deep and dark as Hinata reaches out to grab hold of a corner that blazing bright coat to detain the blonde as Naruto turns to leave. When the future Hokage looks back at her, she lets go hastily but she does not cringe in fear, not in the same way she does when she is with him. Neji clenches his fists but can't turn himself away from the scene in front of him.
067. Her garden
It's small, tucked away out of sight, a tiny plot of dirt behind the tool shed, the plants soaking in their small patch of light. She works there, often, caring for her plants. Her clothes get muddy, hands coming away with dirt, her small back bent over the herbs, and usually an unrestrained smile on her face that lights up her eyes.
Neither Hanabi nor Neji feel they have the right to defile it. They hide it away from Hiashi.
068. Height
He was taller than her, he had always been taller then her. He was also older but that was never really the reason. She had the habit of bowing her shoulders and keeping her gaze to the ground, it made her so much smaller than real. The first time she wears the heeled getas and turns without knowing she was not alone, she stares straight into his eyes and she is startled, but not so much as he, as he is overwhelmed by the feeling that he wishes she would look into his eyes again.
069. Childbearing Figure
She is beautiful, with her belly round with his child. He leans on the doorway of the courtyard and watches her, as she stands in the midday sun, eyes closed and face serene, basking in the light with her hands gently around her protruding abdominal. Pride, possessiveness, satisfaction, and a soft lingering regret mix inside of him violently. He holds onto the moment with everything he has.
It's been so long since Neji has been truly happy.
070. Sunlight
She stands in the sun. The light shines on her and she seems soak in and radiate the brightness. She is beautiful and ethereal and shimmering like her names implies.
071. Kisses
Slow and harsh, fast and ardent, sensuous and tender, soft and loving, shy and hesitant, fleeting and gentle, familiar and welcome, free and pure.
072. Whine
"Nee-san." Hanabi tried again. "Pleeaaassseee."
Hinata hummed from her spot in front of the worktable, hands filled with herbs. "Ask Neji."
Hanabi paled. "Nee-saaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
073. Kunoichi
He clenches his teeth so hard his jaw aches. His stance is firm and his face is hard as granite. The expression of his eyes is dark and angry. She pauses in the act of wrapping her wound and barely sighs, trying her best not to move recovering muscles. "You can't protect me all the time." She whispers.
He is silent.
She stares out the window of the familiar shack. "I don't need you to."
Knuckles crack in the silence.
074. Litter Sister and older brother
When Hanabi was three, she toddled after Neji one day and called him the name that Hinata always referred to him by. The glance that he gave her out of the corner of his eye as he dismissed her as insignificant was cold, harsh, and unforgiving. She never tried to call him by that name again, and neither has anyone else.
075. Touch
It's soft, brief, and barely registers on his skin, but Neji freezes and holds his breath, pausing in the act of wrapping his arm in bandage. It comes again, slightly longer, until a soft palm gently settles on his bare back. His teeth grind against the end of the white strip that it holds.
"I could help you with that." She whispers.
076. Long hair/Short hair
"Neji! Neji! " Naruto shouted as he slammed into the hospital door. "I came as soon as I heard!" the blonde fell undignified onto the floor tiles as the door swung open on his weight. The conscious Hyuuga Neji watched exasperated as his friend scrambled to his feet, "They told me you were - oh, sorry, I must be in the wrong room, they told me, wait - oh my GOD! What happened to your HAIR!"
077. Snow
It falls from the sky and it is cold but every flake in unique. He reaches out a palm and wishes he could find her the most magnificent one to keep.
078. Peaceful
Hidden away in the forest where the trees obscured everything, they were tucked in a small corner, pressed against the ground and staring up at starry skies. She had her back to his front as he sat propped up against the trunk of a tree. He had his arms around her waist and she sat between his legs. The night was quiet, and he didn't mind it at all that she was falling asleep in his arms, her head lulling back and resting on his shoulder.
He smiled, and reached over with one hand to the pack he had brought with him, and pulled out the blanket. She blinked dozily as he tucked them both in, and she smiled.
"Arigouto." She said softly.
He pressed a tender kiss to her neck and she sighed contentedly.
079. For the good of the clan
"Surely you see that." Hinata's voice is small but echoing in the silent room.
Hiashi is stunned and chokes out, "But the cost."
"Is my decision." She says softly in finality.
080. Chocolate
It's wrapped in a tiny blue box tied with white ribbons. Neji stares at it in the light of the setting sun. It sits banally on the edge of his desk but he can still see the trembling hands that extended the gift towards him unexpectedly earlier in the day. Happy Valentine's, the small card reads.
081. Can you see me?
She's blooming, like the flowers after a long harsh winter. After many years of adversity she is coming into her own. She is finally standing tall and glowing like she is supposed to without the unnecessary burdens and shadows forced onto her to carry. But somehow he has to keep them all blind, because she is made for him only.
082. Weak
"She is weak." Hanabi says some day down the line. "She needs to be protected." The little girl is fierce in her belief.
"Strength is relative." Neji imparts the realization it took him a long time to understand.
083. Gravity
Gravity, it's what keeps you standing. Gravity, it's what keeps you on the Earth. Gravity, it's what you sometimes cursed. Gravity, it's what you blame for keeping you grounded. Gravity, it's what pulls you to her.
084. Wings
They cautiously stepped into the newly found ancient door of the ruin. Pillars and long ago art rose up high above them and the group took care to watch their surrounds. A alter was set at the end of the long corridor and they headed towards it as the only direction they could go.
Naruto slowly turned full circle to take in the room. "This place is crazy." He said in awe.
Hinata walking between her comrades was pale, sweating and getting paler.
"Hinata-sama?" Neji asked sharply.
She fell to her knees in a pained gasp with her arms wrapped around her torso tightly. They rushed to her and Neji knelt with one knee bent in front, reaching out in concern, when his finger touch her skin. Her back arched, head flung back, and she screamed.
They erupted from her shoulders and down her back, shining white ivory feathers swirling around her as feathered limbs came where there was supposed to be none, leaving all of them stunned.
085. Cannot Say "I love you"
"I hate you." Neji spat at her viciously when they were children.
"Let me protect you." He pleaded when they were Chuunin and rising in the ranks of ninja.
"You are mine." Neji said fiercely when they grew older, half proclaiming a truth and half trying to convince her.
"Please." He begged when they are past the age of foolish power games. "Please."
She sighs in the end, letting go of her plan of escape, dropping the small duffle bag from her shoulder and allowed him to take her into his arms desperately. He never said the words, but that doesn't mean she doesn't understand his actions when he mumbles incoherently into her hair and the painful grip he has on her shoulder now that he realizes that he had only just made it in time.
086. Sacrifice
Sometimes it's in the small things: the shortening of a leisure time, the loss of a favoured flower, the parting of a broken locket, the cutting of the length of hair, the closing of ones eyes.
087. It's not sex
He was angry and bitter and he came onto her one night with all the dark emotions inside of him bursting free. He was rough and harsh with pain and bitterness and she had thought they were past this. She hurts as unrealized dreams were broken once more and she was going to step back, allow him the space to fly, and free him with all her power. This time she was going to truly let him go.
But she woke the next day to find him crying and shaking, begging for forgiveness he has always had and murmuring the word 'love, love, love' with everything he had. She is hesitant but slowly takes him back into her arms to allow him to show her how he really meant it.
088. Silliness
Neji slowly came into awareness as the sun's ray tingle to his eyelids. He opened them to stare in bewilderment at Hinata's peaceful, sleeping face mere centimetres away from him. He sat up in shock and gaped at her bare shoulders exposed by the blanket and recognized his torso was also bare (distantly his mind recognised that he was still in his boxer and though Hinata's smooth silky legs were touching his own, his hand under the blanket rested on a very nicely curved hip and fingered a piece of thin silk that reveal she was still in her panties). There was movement from the other side. He quickly snapped to his right an explanation halfway to his throat and his jaw dropped at the sight of Naruto followed by Sasuke also in the bed asleep. With a yell of incoherent panic he pushed them off the mattress.
089. Sake
"I don't care how drunk you were!" Sasuke roared in the middle of the living room; Hinata and others watched stunned as a disbelieving Naruto tried to talk his way out of the agreement he did not remember making. "You agreed to marry me!"
090. Song/Singing
"We're not all lost/ we're not all broken/there is still courage/we live in the sun." Hinata sang to herself as she tended her garden. "There's a crack in the ceiling/a disappearance of stars/but some day soon/two roads diverged shall become one."
If Hinata turned around now, maybe she could have explained the unreadable look on Neji's face.
091. Implusive
The first time he hit her, Neji was seven, Hinata was six. He lashed out at her when she wouldn't listen to him as he repeatedly told her to stay away. Falling on her bottom, eyes wide and staring up at her Neji–niisan in shock, she was mute. When she clumsy scrambled to her feet and ran away without looking back, Neji's mother grabbed him by the shoulder and slapped him, but it was useless, for he was already crying.
092. Improving
By the time he was ten, he could reduce Hinata-sama to a small, mousy, quivering mess in 30 seconds. When he was twelve he simply had to look at her coldly and she withdraw into her shell. When he was thirteen he made it his goal not to simply make her withdraw but to make her fall and never get back up again.
093. Twisted sort of love
He loved it when she was warm and pliant and utterly soft beneath him. Her skin brushing silkily against him, legs entangled with his, small hands encircling his torso, flushed cheeks pressed next to him.
She was always so small under him. She looked so fragile, like a single mistaken touch could break her. So tiny compared to him, and so timid as she raised her eyes shyly to his.
He loved being buried in her, body pushing down onto hers, elbows supported by the sides of her head as he nuzzled against her hot cheek and neck.
"Hinata." He breathed.
And she would promptly nuzzle against him to hide the blush he induced. And he reached out for her in the way he knew would tip her over.
She always looked like one mistaken touch could break her.
Break her - and then he could take all the time he wanted to make her whole again.
094. Better
"Your heart is healing." Tsunade said to the young Hyuuga girl, letting the genin pull her shirt back together. "Some more rest and careful exercise, don't over do it, and it should heal up just fine. No lingering heavy side-effects."
Outside the door tension eased from a recent Chuunin standing guard.
095. "Screwed"
"Hinata have you seen my-" Kiba turned the corner of to the training ground and stopped..
Under the shades of a large oak Hinata lay resting. That was not so surprising, what was stupefying was she lay between two figures; one behind spooning her, spiky blond hair, bright blues eyes which were closed, a bright orange outfit, and his arm being used a pillow for Hinata. In front of her was long dark hair flowing past broad shoulders, pale eyes closed in sleep, face rested on Hinata's chest, arms wrapped around her middle pulling her form close to him. They were all clothed but Kiba was speechless in how the three of them had ended up in such a position.
"Kiba-kun?" a voice came from behind him, and he whirled to see Hanabi. "Have you seen Nee-sama, she didn't come home last night. She was supposed to have been training here…" The younger Hyuuga trailed off as she came into sight of the spectacle. He watched in nervousness and fascination as her face flushed red, but different then her older sister, it was not from embarrassment. "I'm going to KILL you two!!" She screamed.
Naruto and Neji startled awake and rolled away instinctively from the punch. Hinata was blinking in shock. "Hanabi-chan!"
"Just you wait!" Hanabi roared. "I'll show you to be so familiar!"
096. Arrogance
"Do you honestly believe you can lead the clan?" Hidoshi raised an eyebrow. The rest of the council looked on silently to the Chuunin seated on the place before them. "You are just a weak little girl. You couldn't even defeat your sister 5 years junior and you were already defeated by the generation's prodigy. Who would follow you?"
Clear, firm, and powerful the calm words cut through the room. "I would." All members turned to look at Hyuuga Neji who sat in front of the left side of the room where many seated with white cloth tied over their forehead, whom had recently been appointed as - " The Branch House would." He replied and tilted his head coolly. "It is our duty after all."
097. Eight
"Happy birthday!" Hanabi said, handing a wrapped box to Jiyuu.
"Thank you Hanabi-nee-chan." The newly eight year old said to his aunt.
She ruffled his hair. "I remember when you're father was your age." She teased.
Neji looked at her. "You were two."
She glared. "It doesn't matter how old I was. You haven't grown up since then."
Neji stiffened and Jiyuu moved his presents quickly from the room.
098. A year apart
On the eve of his daughter's 18th birthday he sent her away to be presented at court.
Three month later on a mission: "Hyuuga Hiashi? As in-oh, sorry. Ignore my ramblings."
In the wave country, looking at the entrance of the new bridge, and a passing comment from an enigmatic business man: "You must be so proud."
Half-way to rock country, meeting an ambassador: "It's an honour to meet the father of Hyuuga-san."
In the snow country, leaving a conference and being stopped momentarily by a powerful, jaded young lord who smiled bitterly. "You have another daughter at home?"
Guarding Lady Shukira, the head of House of a prominent noble family of the desert country, who never suffered fools. "She was magnificent, and growing more so."
A Specialist returning from a SS-mission, bloody and torn up, healed by the Godaime, stopping him in the halls, speaking only the single mystifying sentence: "She is the strongest person I know."
Drinking tea with the Fire Lord who broke the silence with: "My Heir wanted to come ask you for her hand in marriage." The silent young man seated to the Fire Lord's right tilted his head fractionally. "He would have my blessings, except she rejected the offer."
Watching her come back the same way she left; sandals, pants, jacket, eyes facing forward, long blue hair in the wind, a travel bag over one shoulder, walking to the gates with only Neji next to her.
099. Gift
"This was hers." Hiashi said stiffly as he handed the wrapped parcel to Hanabi.
The girl stared at the silky fabric for a long moment before reaching out awkward arms to take the burden. She unfolded the cloth to see the title A Compendium of Herbs on a worn cover. Shoji door slid open then closed as Hiashi left but she never looked up from the book.
Trembling hands reached out and gripped the top corners tightly until her knuckles were white. Breath hitched, body frozen, eyes bright, she breathed out shakily. She blinked and a tear slid down a pale cheek.
"H-Hinata." She whispered, closing her eyes in pain. In her mind she heard the messenger nin repeat his message another time.
...the last report submitted to the Hokage two months ago, and a recent investigation to the mission site which brought back no survivors, circumstances indicate that Hyuuga Neji and Hyuuga Hinata along with Uzumaki Naruto and Yamanaka Ino are presumed dead; killed in action. The Hokage would like to extend her condolences...
100. Possession - "Mine"
His name is imprinted in the small of her back, done by a manifested chakra blade of his ki. The mark goes down deep and into her internal circulation systems, and sometimes she thinks it has sunk into her soul. But he looks at it and thinks it is still somehow not enough.