32 - Vivid Dreams
All was quiet in the Hikari house. It seemed like nothing was stirring, not a cat or a mouse. Yet, there were three silent inhibitors of the house, ones who rarely came out of their rooms unless it was to leave or to get food. This had been going on with a week, with only them in the house, making it uncomfortable. Although, it gave Ikari plenty of room to move around outside- as long as he didn't run into Sansa.
However, it came to that awkward point in time when the three in the house, Ikari, Su and Kagura, had to run into each other and all at once. It was a Sunday night when all of them flocked to the kitchen. As Ikari swept into the cooking area, he placed his hands on the counter and glared at Su. "You should come back later. I'll be using this for a while."
It was Kagura that decided to step up. "I'm hungry now, peasant. How dare you deny me my right?" The two locked eyes, glaring intensely as Su seemingly stared at a plant in the background. She thought she was looking at them as she spoke, her voice gentle and quiet.
"We shouldn't waste electricity and food. I'm sure if we all cook together, we can-"
"I can deny you whatever the fuck I want to. You're not royalty, little boy. Just because you have a pretty face doesn't mean you can boss me around, you know!" Ikari's eyebrow twitched. Why did he have to look like a girl? He didn't know how to deal with this ladyboy. It wasn't like he wasn't attractive, after all, but damn it all if it wasn't confusing him!
Kagura's ego took a tiny pinprick of damage as he puffed up his chest, the tone of their argument shifting. "I acknowledge your beauty, Ikari. You're handsome, but you shouldn't hold yourself so highly! You are lacking in every other category, especially when next to me! When I, a ten, am around, you are a mere three in comparison!" Kagura brushed his hair out of his face and gave Ikari the cockiest grin he could muster. "Only little girls like a dark and edgy boy. Real women like real men who don't look like they just crawled out of an evil organization recruitment drive." He'd been reading manga lately. "A real man wouldn't stoop to your level, and real women wouldn't want you."
"I could care less about women or girls. They mean jack shit to me."
"What about Rena?"
"She's-" A way to get ahead, but he couldn't say that out loud. It was almost scary how automatic he'd answered her. He'd have to watch his replies more carefully- he caught his tongue this time, but the next might not be so lucky. "My future girlfriend." He said with a flat, uninterested tone. Well, she didn't look all that bad. She'd look better if she brushed her hair, but the route to power meant sacrificing his time to romancing a somewhat ugly girl. That was fine, too. As long as his lie had a bit of honesty in it.
However, his attempt to weave an illusion was shattered when Kagura stepped up to protest. "Someone who's actually interested in someone in that way would be way more cute and bashful about it! Especially when they say something so bold! You're lying!"
Ikari could feel the strings of self-restraint snapping inside him. He was going to blow. He thought he'd gotten his anger under control since he was a kid. He couldn't lose it because of some backwoods royal reject. He took a deep breath. He just had to hurt Kagura more than he'd been annoyed by the boy. He'd feel better if he made the kid cry. "If you want to be a girl, Kagura, you'll have to do better than gossip and girl-talk with other women. Let's be honest, no matter how long you grow your hair or slather your face in makeup or how many stupid dresses you wear, you'll never be anything more than what you are; an ugly ladyboy."
The look on Kagura's face rivalled the moment he'd been disowned. He held Ikari in absolute contempt as he stormed forward, grinding his teeth together in frustration as he searched for something to say back. "Just because I dress like a girl doesn't mean I want to be a girl. I have the right to dress however I want, without judgement."
"Really?" Ikari stepped forward, that shit-eating grin spreading across his face. "You're doing it to get guys to like you, aren't you? That's why you're able to so shamelessly be buddy-buddy with my future girlfriend. That's why you want to share a room with her. Are you even a man? Have you no shame?"
Kagura flushed as Ikari got closer, taking a step back. Kagura bumped into the back of a chair, nowhere to go as Ikari advanced. Maybe this wasn't so bad; he really was a guy. Suddenly, Kagura didn't affect him so much. "I'd be your first time if you put more makeup on. Wait, no. A bag over your head to hide all of your manly features. Because in the end, you're a trap, right? It's all fine if you look like a girl, but you'll never have the parts. I don't think being into guys is allowed in this world. Did your father know? Do you think he's turning over in his grave thinking about what a disappointment his son was, trapping guys into thinking he was a girl?" Tears welled in Kagura's eyes. Huh. He really did look like a girl. Ikari felt a slight pang of guilt in his heart, but it disappeared when he remembered what he was representing- the Hikari.
He felt hands slam into him as he was shoved down to the ground. Su stood over him with clenched fists, boiling over with rage. "First the Chuunin Exams, and now this?! You don't treat anyone kindly, do you?! You don't have sportsmanship and your only pastime is hurting others with cruel words! I don't think you care about Rena at all! Your only concern is yourself!" Ikari was frozen, staring at Su as she grabbed Kagura's hand. "Let's go out for dinner, Kagura, you can choose the place and I'll pay. As for you, Ikari, I hope you rot here in your own kindness. Must suck not being able to leave the house."
Ikari was frozen as all he heard was the door closed behind her. It took him a minute to realize what had just happened. Rage set into his blood, his anger flaring as he stood, throwing the chair Kagura had knocked into to the ground as he rushed up the stairs, each step a stomp. He kicked open Su's door, breaking the lock, grabbing onto the nearest piece of furniture, a lamp, and smashing it open on the ground. Shattered glass spread across the ground. He ripped open her dressers and took out her clothes, tearing them apart with his bare hands. How dare she talk back to him in his own territory?! He was superior. He beat her in the Chuunin Exams, nearly within an inch of her life! She'd squirmed in his shadow, gasping for air as the hole in her throat denied her any!
He let out a primal, rage-induced scream, grabbing her dresser and hauling it out of the window, the sound of glass being shattered filling his ears once more. He pulled her mattress off of her bed and shredded it with his nails, fluff going everywhere as he took a shard of glass and stabbed it into one of her pillows over and over again. The bite she'd given him was imprinted in his mind as he screamed again, collapsing to the floor. Blood dripped from his hand where he'd grabbed the pointed glass shard, and blackened tears dripped from his eyes as he tried to pull himself together.
This wasn't who he was anymore.
He tried to choke back his sobs, rein in his emotions.
He wasn't a stupid child who threw temper tantrums like this.
He curled up in a fetal position, his chest heaving as he took long, shallow breaths. He could hear the wheezing coming from his mouth.
There was so much they expected of him. He wasn't some minor annoyance, he was the future of the Hikari clan. He was going to be something. Someone would need him.
Even if that meant getting into a relationship while he was so young?
No, he couldn't think like that. He'd been given an opportunity.
Was she really the one he wanted to dedicate his life to? He wanted power. He needed power. He needed to be needed. The Hikari were his family. He was honour-bound to them, even if his parents couldn't accept that. They would accept his flaws. Rena didn't have to be his forever- there were other women, after all, and the Hikari weren't known for their monogamy.
His breathing slowed, his sobs became small hics.
He had a greater destiny than crying on this floor, no matter what the cost was. He was sure. This was the path he had to take. He chose it for himself, so why be so scared of it? At best, his future Empress was a naive little girl, easily manipulated with kind words. There was no rule that she had to be alive for him to be Emperor. He could shape the clan to his liking, with or without her.
X
X
Rena walked down the street, holding bags of food that Ine had given her. She was glad to finally get a day off; she couldn't believe she'd been gone for a whole week. Ine had really kept her busy! She was so happy that she'd have food to share with her friends. The last time everyone had sat together for a meal was, well, the Kazekage's funeral. And she couldn't think of a time when she and Gaara-
Her face fell as she remembered the current state of their relationship. He'd been so cruel to her. She wasn't so sure she'd be able to face him or even invite him. There was no guarantee he was even in at this time. So much had happened since their last meeting- most namely, Ine's training, the fact she'd be able to go to the academy if she passed the three trials... It was all so exciting! She wanted to share it with someone. Her head perked up when she saw Su and Kagura together in the distance, walking toward her as they looked around.
"Su! Kagura!" Rena waved to them both and Kagura bounded toward her, a smile stretching across his face. "I brought home dinner!" When his face fell, Rena was worried she'd said something wrong. "What's up? Aren't you happy to get food?"
"Oh, um, it's not that! I'd love to eat this! Where did you get it all from?" Maybe Kagura still didn't feel comfortable in Sansa's household... it was understandable. It lacked the luxuries of his previous life. She wanted to make it as comfortable for him as physically possible!
"Well, it's amazing! I got it as a reward!" She held it up a little more. "It's all home-cooked and super healthy, meant to give us all energy! A friend made it for me after I did something for her!"
Kagura's eyes sparkled. It was clear he hadn't had a good meal since he'd been in the capital. She felt kind of bad for him. It wasn't like she could cook, anyways- she never even tried, though. There wasn't much to do when you were trapped in an underground dungeon. "I'd love to eat with you, Rena." Su gave her a warm-hearted smile. Rena rushed over to her, giving her a hug.
"I missed you, Su! I'm sorry, I always get caught up in something whenever I want to spend time with you. I don't mean to!"
Su would've said something about her tendency to go off on her own and leave her behind, but hopefully, with this, that would end. She didn't want to capitalize all of Rena's attention, only a little bit. It wasn't Rena's fault she was always busy, right? It's just the way life is sometimes. At least Rena was acknowledging her mistakes. "It's okay! We all get busy!" Su gave Rena the biggest smile possible. Her precious friend... someone she cared for dearly. It put a sour taste in her mouth when Ikari spoke about her, but maybe bothering Rena with it now wasn't any good... after all, this was supposed to be a happy time. Words began to tumble from Kagura's mouth, but Su spoke over him. "We would love to join you for a meal at home!"
Although Kagura's expression turned sour, he said nothing about it. He wasn't too happy about being forgotten, nor was he happy about going home to eat- and most likely share a meal with Ikari, of all people.
X
X
When they walked in the door, Ikari was a changed man. He sheepishly looked from one to the other, before sighing. "Sorry. For what I said before. I was just hungry." In truth, he wasn't sorry at all; just in case they'd told Rena, he needed to do immediate damage control and make it look like he'd been waiting for them to come back as he stewed in his false apologetic agony.
Su was in disbelief. Ikari, apologizing to her? He didn't even apologize for the things he said in the Chuunin Exams. "What are you talking about, Ikari?" Rena asked, blissfully unaware of the snake in her home.
"Just a small domestic dispute, nothing serious. Words were exchanged, and I feel like I was unfair to them." Su didn't buy it. There wasn't a chance in hell he meant it. However, a smile stretched across Kagura's face.
"I understand! I, too, become insufferable when hungry! Angry! Hangry! Is that a word?"
"Not really, no, but I'm glad you guys made up. Just in time for some really good food, too!"
Su stared Ikari down. Kagura was way too forgiving. Couldn't anyone else other than her see through Ikari's deceit? These cruel words hadn't been a one-time thing. Su was going to open her mouth to say something when she paused. Kagura had already forgiven Ikari. That in itself would damage any credibility she had with Rena if she tried to go after Ikari right now, and, most definitely, Rena wouldn't accept it and make her apologize- all because Ikari had apologized in front of her. Right now, it wasn't smart to kick the hive. There had to be a moment where Ikari would show his true nature in front of everyone, and when that happened, Su would be there to jump him.
Right now, however, the spread Rena was setting up before them looked pretty succulent. Su decided that rather than starting something she knew she couldn't win, she'd put aside her feelings for today, to have dinner- as friends, as companions, and hopefully, eventually, as family. She hoped Rena would come to see her the same way as she felt- that Rena would eventually understand her, and her feelings.
X
X
It had been a good dinner. Most of the night had passed in funny jokes and joyful conversation, a spare moment in which they could all enjoy each other's company with no strings attached. When everyone left the table to go to bed, Su had offered to clean up. Kagura followed in Su's footsteps, allowing Rena to go to her room and get ready for bed. It was comfortable to sleep in her own bed, rather than just Fuyu's dog bed. Although, she did miss the bundle of fluff. Fuyu had always been comfortable, even though he was a little bit rambunctious. As she settled into the covers, her eyes came to a close, and nightmares of the past rose in her shifting, changing mind...
"My dearest daughter, Rena." She could feel nails dig into her skin, keeping her face in place as purple eyes stared into hers. "It's time to die again, now." Terror shook Rena to her very core. She couldn't move under the piercing gaze of the woman who claimed to be her mother. This wasn't Sansa- this wasn't her mother?! But if so, who was this? "Suffering makes us stronger, my dear. You're not angry at me, are you?" The woman's other hand moved through her hair, stroking her head gently. "Come on, offer yourself. You know that it is you, most of all, that must suffer. Out of all of us, your sacrifice is what makes you the strongest. You've given everything- what's life in comparison?"
Rena opened her mouth, prepared to reject this psychotic woman that wanted to claim her life, but words that felt like they weren't hers escaped from her lips. "Yes, mother. You honour me. Anything for our future. Anything for the future of the Hikari." She felt the pain as the woman's hand pierced her chest, tearing through flesh. Blood poured from the wound.
"Forgive me if your death wound scars your next body." The whisper was harrowing, scratching away at Rena's mind as her heart was crushed in Owari's hands. Her sight faded to black as she collapsed. When she opened her eyes again, standing before her was a woman clutching a flower in her hand. A sand rose. Rena approached her cautiously, walking forward. The woman turned to look at her, and all Rena could see through her mask was the glint of her purple eyes.
"He makes you weak. He is a distraction that we do not need. He is someone I will kill with my own two hands, upon the day of my resurrection." Black flame surrounded the sand rose, causing it to turn to dust and blow away in the wind as the woman's hand loosened on the stem. Blood dripped from underneath the mask, but Rena wasn't sure where it was coming from, only that it stained the cloak of the stranger before her. "But that's far away. And these are memories that do not yet belong to you. They are mine. You cannot take them, not like you've taken everything else from me."
"You're speaking in riddles! I don't understand! Who is he?! And what do you mean, these memories aren't mine?"
"It took me a while to recover from my losses, caged bird." Why was that phrase so familiar? Where had she heard it before...? "But I'm back again, and you're invading my space." The background faded into being. Another sense of deja vu washed over her as she stared at the night sky, destroyed buildings in the distance. It was the Hidden Sand, but there was something missing. She couldn't put her finger on what, though.
The only difference was a man, speared through by what looked to be solid purple javelins, his turquoise eyes glassed over. Red hair blew in the wind. Rena swore this person looked familiar, yet it was... off. "This is the future of your fate with that boy, child." She could feel the masked woman's hands on her shoulders, urging her forward. The weight in her hands changed, the javelin in her hands staining them with a bright purple.
"N-No..." She looked up, the eight-year-old Gaara standing before her. As if some force compelled her, she thrust the spear toward him, the sound making a brittle crunch noise. The boy collapsed to the ground. Suddenly, something shined through her memory, sending the masked woman flying backward, unable to defend herself.
She stood in a beautiful field of flowers, the Masked Woman nowhere to be found. Children stood, playing with one another, their weak and malnourished bodies holding steady. A little girl stood before her, her eyes yellow, her hair white. She had sunken eyes and a pointed, sharp nose. Her lips reminded Rena of a bird beak. The girl offered Rena a crown of flowers, which she leaned down to allow it to be placed upon her head. "The princess of the flower kingdom has been crowned, by me, the Queen!"
A voice rang through her head. "My dearest daughter, show me your worth... do as I bid you. Kill. Slaughter. Kill. Kill." Each word resonated through her body, driving Rena to do something that she... felt indifferently about. How could she feel nothing at all, imagining murdering these children? Why didn't she question it? She rose her hand, pressing her index finger against the white-haired girl's forehead.
"I... am the true Queen."
"That's not how the game works!" Blood burst from Rena's body, the tendrils spearing all of the other children in a split second, leaving only a mortified queen, sobbing and shaking before her. "W-What are you doing?! This isn't... this isn't part of the game! Why aren't they... why aren't they moving? That looks scary and painful!"
"Your clan is an abomination, Eyes of Death. For that, you must die." The little girl before her hyperventilated, her eyes turning a deep crimson as the reaper around her coiled. And for a moment, Rena saw death, something she'd evaded for many years. And then she was gone. It hadn't been painful. It hadn't felt like much of anything. Looking into the girl's eyes for a moment, she understood the base of what fear meant, and what it meant to die, respectively. Although it might feel like the hundredth death, death was nothing to someone who would not stay dead.
Rena shot up in bed, breathing rapidly. She could feel something buzzing behind her eyes. It was a slight ache, but that dream... was scarily vivid. Maybe she was just letting her imagination run away from her, but there was something about the girl's eyes that made her feel so real. She had only slept for thirty minutes, though, which was impossible to her. It felt like hours. She settled back under the covers, trying to close her eyes and get at least some sleep before the trial tomorrow.