What I Wouldn't Do

Someone was shouting. There was smoke in the air and it hurt to breathe. In the distance, a growing pile of bodies, burnt and charred beyond recognition, formed a grotesque landmark against the fires still smoldering amongst the trees. The smell, to those who noticed, was abominable.

Few noticed.

“Casualties?”

“Six injured. Three dead. Ten intruders killed. Seven prisoners and counting.”

Statistics. It was all statistics. Not lives. Not people. Statistics.

The world spun, a child’s top wobbling on its last leg. When would it stop? Would it stop? Would there come a time when it finally toppled over?

Was this how the world ended, with ash and smoke and the cold tang of copper under his nose?

Uzumaki Naruto didn’t know. He was on the edge of the top, just waiting for it to hit that critical moment and tumble over. How long had he been standing? A minute? An hour? His body ached with the phantom sensations of newly healed injuries. He’d been burning a second ago. Now it was all he could do to feel at all.

Disassociation. It’s what happens when you realize you’re an idiot.

The shouting continued. Someone was issuing orders. Only belatedly did he realize it was him.

Electricity surged through the air. It pressed hot and heavy on the shoulders of those around him, but Naruto was numb. Was the world still spinning? Was it even possible? Iron tingled along his tongue – sweet and sharp and repugnant in its familiarity.

Blood, his mind supplied. You’re tasting blood.

Blood, that’s right. He knew blood. He knew it as intimately as a lover. His hands were sticky with it, flakes already drying under his fingernails. It would take forever to wash it all out. Perhaps the dirt would help.

…No. It just made it worse.

There was flurry of pink to his left. His eyes involuntarily followed the color. Sakura, his subconscious registered, still in civilian garb and covered from head to toe in soot. A few shiny burns littered her exposed skin. She was on the ground, focused and hands swirling with green chakra, shouting orders to the medics around her. Red splatter littered her top, but she paid it no mind; her concentration was elsewhere, on a person lying prone atop the forest floor.

It was a child – a boy no older than seven. He didn’t move even when the medics wrapped and padded and pressurized the wounds littering his body. Not even a twitch to signify life. His blond hair was matted brown, singed down to the scalp in some places, and his limbs were splayed in an awkward contortion. A pile of torn and bloodied clothes lay discarded on the grass, ready to be trashed or analyzed at the collector’s discretion. Pale skin stood a stark contrast to the forest. Was it the ash, Naruto wondered, that made him so pallid, or simply the loss of blood?

It had to be the ash. No one could be so white and still be alive.

Is he alive? The question popped about in his head. Was he one of Konoha’s three casualties? No. He looked closer. Sakura’s hands were still green. She was healing him. The boy was alive. Good.

Why is it good? For a second, Naruto couldn’t remember. Was it not just statistics? ‘Six injured. Three dead.’ Statistics. Just statistics. Not people. Not–

He knew that child.

The world came to a stop. The top tumbled over. Time froze.

Shock, he realized. You’re in shock.

His chakra swirled, a torrential storm of power rushing through his system begging to be let out. It was reaching for something – a tiny whisper of life flickering just out of hand’s reach. He could see it, pulsating weakly in time with the boy’s heart. If he could just move his body Naruto knew he could rekindle that spark. He just needed to move. Just one foot in front of the other. Move.

He didn’t.

Weak. You’re weak. He needs you. He needs you to move. Why won’t you move?

He didn’t know. His feet wouldn’t listen. His body had turned to stone.

Coward.

His vision tunneled, a tight loop that ran between him and the boy, before sharply snapping back into place like a stressed rubber band.

Motion returned first, his shinobi rushing past to and fro as they followed his orders. They ran in groups; teams fanning out in different directions to scout the surrounding forests, others rounding up prisoners for interrogation. A body squad assembled the dead for analysis and he sensed the ANBU spread amongst the trees to form a protective barrier.

Sound was next. The roaring in his ears faded into individual words and cries. Sakura yelled out orders to the medics and Shikamaru stood at his back giving directives to the scout teams. In Naruto’s mind, Kurama growled and cursed. His own throat burned raw. He must have been shouting, too.

Scent came last. Copper was still predominant, but now there was also smoke and the faint aroma of morning grass. Funny, how the smell could permeate so completely he tasted it on his tongue. Burning flesh had such an unpleasant flavor, especially for so early an hour. It was barely even eight.

Sun filtered through the trees, breaking the morning fog, and it would have been a perfectly lovely setting if not for the mess. Gouged dirt, destroyed trees, bloody grass and ash ruined the otherwise picturesque setting. And the bodies. One couldn’t forget the bodies.

“Hokage-sama,” someone said in his ear. He felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. “Hokage-sama?” There was a sigh. “Naruto.”

Naruto started, his eyes flickering this way and that until they landed on Shikamaru. The other man was looking at him with a mixture of resignation and concern; for a moment, Naruto didn’t understand.

“Shikamaru,” the blond acknowledged, though a part of him failed to register the name.

His friend was covered in soot and debris, with a new scattering of burns along his body and a jacket destined for the trash. The Nara narrowed his eyes, and Naruto allowed the scrutiny, finding he didn’t have it in himself to care. Shikamaru must have found what he was searching for because after a few seconds he indicated with his head to the people behind them. “Kiba’s back. Says they think they found the rest.”

“Think?”

Shikamaru shot him a pointed glare and Naruto forced back the fire in his throat. He inclined his head – rigidly, like it was painful – and let his advisor continue. “Shino’s team is still out, but Kiba crossed their path on the way in – they haven’t found anything. Ino wants to know if she can take the prisoners back for interrogation?”

Naruto looked down, contemplative. On the one hand, Ino was the head of Torture and Interrogation, and so had a duty to her department first. On the other, she was also one of the best medics he had. Part of him wanted to keep her here in case one of Sakura’s subordinates tapped out, but the larger part, one that sounded suspiciously like Kakashi-sensei, told him he didn’t have that kind of time. He warred with himself for a few seconds, blue-eyes straying to the prone body a few meters away. No, he couldn’t take the chance. Suicide was still too possible at this stage. If he wanted information he would have to get it before the prisoners got it into their heads to become martyrs. He would just have to trust Sakura’s team had everything well in hand.

With a jolt of his chin, Naruto motioned for his fellow blonde. She straightened up, brushing cinders from her hair, and awaited orders.

“Yamanaka-taicho,” Naruto began. “You’re free to leave. Use any method you think necessary.” 

“Yes, sir."

Naruto waved and she was off, her team regrouping behind her; each one held a prisoner for interrogation. Naruto beckoned to Kiba. “Has Sai radioed in?”

Kiba shook his head. A cloud of ash billowed above him. “Not yet, but he’s farther out. Shino and his team only had one more area to search. No new prisoners or activity.”

The Hokage nodded. It felt like all he could do was nod. These people were doing this: good, got it, next. This team was here: okay, thanks. Nod, nod, nod. His already healed body stung and his feet still wouldn’t let him move. It was probably for the best. If he moved he might destroy something.

“Is there anyone else missing from the Academy?” He asked, directing his question to Shikamaru.

“No,” the Nara said. “Boruto was the only one. The Academy’s been placed on lockdown.”

“Good,” he mumbled. A thought occurred to him then and he wondered at how long it had taken to strike. “Hinata?” His eyes widened in worry, and without thought instantly extended his senses out for her. “Where are Hinata and Himawari?”

Shikamaru touched his arm in an attempt to reassure him, making contact the exact instant Naruto felt his family’s familiar chakra. Fear and anxiety pulsed around them, but it lacked danger. They were safe. “They’re still at the tower,” Shikamaru confirmed. “Hinata’s taken control of administration.”

The Hokage’s lips twitched, but he didn’t have the energy to smile. “Figures she would.”

“The ANBU are watching them, and Konohamaru. They’re alright.”

“Do they know?” Because Naruto didn’t know what he would do if Hinata found out some bastardized version of events from a secondary source rather than him, and he didn’t want Himawari to know at all.

“No. Hinata knows the basics and I’m sure you can guess it’s all Konohamaru can do to keep her there. Hima is oblivious, but I wouldn’t put it past her to be suspicious. You’ll have to tell her something.”

“I know,” and he did know, he just wasn’t sure how he would manage it. She’d be devastated. How the hell could he tell her brother was–no. His head jerked involuntarily, eyes drawn towards his old pink-haired teammate despite trying so hard to avoid her. He didn’t want to see the panic on her face or the alarming amount of blood splatter soaking her clothes.

“Hokage-sama…Naruto,” Shikamaru sighed, eyeing Naruto with concern. “Maybe you should go home. I can handle things here.”

“No,” Naruto said almost too quickly. He immediately recognized how desperate it sounded and took a deep breath to calm himself. “No. I can’t–I can’t leave him here alone, Shikamaru. He needs me here,” but there was a desperate strangling to those words that both men consciously ignored.

Any other shinobi and Shikamaru would have told him that watching was a waste of time. Naruto wasn’t a healer and Boruto was too out of it to notice anything, much less his father’s presence. Time spent agonizing over his son’s condition was time that could be spent being productive. But Shikamaru kept silent. Were it Shikadai lying there on the ground he wouldn’t have been able to leave either.

“Ready?” Sakura shouted from afar, her blood-slicked fingers supporting Boruto’s neck. “One, two, three, lift!”

The blond child was quickly transferred from the grass to a waiting stretcher. As soon as he was secured, Sakura immediately motioned for the two runners to leave, her subordinates going along in a bid to keep Boruto stable. Naruto and Shikamaru would have followed had Sakura not chosen to stay behind and approach them directly. She bowed her head.

“Hokage-sama,” she said, voice soft and searching.

“Uchiha-sensei,” Naruto returned, not really looking at her. His focus was glued to the patch of red mud where his son used to be.

Sakura and Shikamaru exchanged oblique looks, and the woman moved to position herself strategically in Naruto’s line of sight. She grasped ahold of his arm. “I’ll do everything I can.”

“I know,” he said reflexively, glancing over her head. She was just a little too short to cover the sight behind her.

But Sakura wasn’t having it. “Hey,” she prodded, reaching up to grasp his chin and forcing him to look at her. “He’ll be okay. He’s too much like his parents not to be.”

“Yeah,” he whispered roughly. From this distance he could see all the scratches slowly healing along her cheeks, and the new layers of skin forming over her burns. She really was the best medic in the world. “I know you’ll do your best.”

She managed a weak smile. “I’ll do better. I promise, and you taught me not to break promises.”

Naruto chuffed, but it didn’t bring out the grin Sakura had been aiming for. “Thanks, Sakura-chan.”

“No problem, knucklehead.” She brought her hand up to gently cup his cheek and squeezed. Then it was back to business. “I’ll keep you updated and let you know when he’s out. Tsunade-sama already radioed in. Everything’s ready for him.”

When Naruto didn’t respond, Shikamaru did it for him. “Thank you, Sakura.”

Sakura bobbed her head and, with one last concerned glance at her old teammate, disappeared into the foliage. Naruto gave no visible reaction to her departure. Without Sakura, there was nothing to obscure the bloody patch of grass left behind.

We’ll kill them, Kurama growled in the back of his head, somehow sounding both too far away and much too close.

Yes, Naruto replied with equal conviction. We will. The urge to murder every single person down in interrogation was exceedingly tempting. Already, he could feel Kurama’s rage mingling with his own, and if anyone noticed the way his pupils thinned they said nothing about it.

A rustling sound echoed behind them and Naruto tensed, his tentative hold on the Kyuubi almost slipping. He was just able to reign himself in when Shino and his team leapt from the trees, presenting themselves at attention.

“Hokage-sama,” Shino began. “Scout Team Be-3 reporting. There are no new assailants within ninety kilometers west of the village. Evidence suggests they did not arrive from Kusa or Ame because there is no disturbed terrain or chakra residue. I have taken the liberty of distributing my colony along key routes in the event we were mistaken.”

“Good,” Naruto stated. “Your team is dismissed. I expect a report by noon.”

“Hokage-sama,” Shino said as his team bowed and began to scatter. He moved to follow them when Naruto called him back.

“Shino.” The Aburame tilted his head, taking in his leader’s clenched jaw and twitching fingers, and waited patiently for Naruto to say what he needed. It took a moment, but the blond eventually pried his mouth open and said, “Could you get Himawari from the tower? I don’t want her to hear anything she shouldn’t.”

Shino jerked his head to the side, surprised. “Of course, Hokage-sama.”

“And Shino? Tell Hinata to meet me at the hospital.”

“Sir.” The Aburame shifted, ready to jump, and paused. He hesitated for just a second. “Should I prepare Himawari for an extended visit?”

Naruto was silent and then, “Sh–she shouldn’t be too suspicious of an impromptu sleepover.”

Shino nodded. It was to be expected. Naruto and Hinata needed to be with Boruto. The first 24 hours were always the most critical and Shino would gladly protect Himawari if it would give his friends some peace of mind.

And, if there happened to be any more assailants waiting to harm the girl, Shino would be more than happy to dissuade them of the idea.

“Hokage-sama,” and he was off, bounding through the trees in a blur.

“Yo, Naruto-sama,” Kiba called. He was standing a bit a ways away, his hand on a surprisingly feral Akamaru. His other hand indicated to the recently arrived Sai. “Yamanaka found something.”

Sai bowed his head, leaning in so that whatever he said wouldn’t be overheard by the surrounding workers, and dissolved his ink creations. His face was a perfect mask of disinterest, marred only by the cinders still floating in the air. It was an old mask and to see it after so long set a stone inside Naruto's stomach. “Hokage-sama, we found tracks coming north from the border of Oto no Kuni.”

Naruto started and Shikamaru’s eyes widened. “Oto? But they were disbanded. Are you certain?” The Nara asked.

“Yes,” Sai said. “We didn’t go past the border, but the trail indicates they came from that direction.”

“Shall I send out a reconnaissance team, Hokage-sama?” Asked a cat-masked kunoichi as she flickered behind him. The green outline around her mask ranked her as the ANBU commander.

Naruto thought for a minute. The ramifications of sending out a team to go past the border without an official invitation were numerous should the team be caught, but at the same time he needed to be sure – needed evidence – for when he informed the other villages. Naruto knew he would have to. The attempted kidnapping and assault of his son would be seen by the world as a personal attack on the Hokage and Konoha at large. It was a political nightmare, and if Oto no Kuni or Otogakure were planning something the other villages would have to be alerted.

His gut churned. If it was Oto…well, that would mean more than just an attempt on his son. It would mean the Union had lost track of an amassing group of shinobi. It would mean this group had been working for years right under their noses. It would mean…

“Send out Team Nu,” he told the ANBU commander. “Have them wait ten miles from the border.”

“Hokage-sama?” Sai questioned, something like surprise flashing across his face before it was gone.

Naruto didn’t offer an explanation. An idea was forming in his head and he needed to act quickly. Before his silent observers his hands flickered through the seals to summon a small toad. He then removed a notebook from his pocket and wrote a quick message, handing it to the toad without even reading it through. A whispered instruction later and the summon poof-ed away.

He skillfully ignored the unspoken questions of his compatriots.

“Tell Nu to wait for orders,” Naruto said to Neko, as if nothing had happened. “If they hear nothing within five days, they’re to return immediately."

The kunoichi didn’t question him. She saluted and uttered a clipped, “Sir,” before rushing off into the trees and back towards ANBU headquarters.

“Team Nu?” Kiba asked from the side, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You think they’re ready for something like this?”

Naruto’s lips quirked upwards for barely a second. “You trained them.”

“And they’re damn good, but do you really want them to infiltrate Oto?”

“Like you said Kiba, they’re damn good.”

“Tch,” Kiba bared his teeth, half embarrassed, half pleased. “As you say, Hokage-sama. I’d better go have them run some drills then.”

“Don’t tire them out. They need to be on their toes.”

Kiba waved the words away. “Yeah, yeah, they’ll be ready.”

“One hour, Kiba.”

“Make it hard for me, why don’tcha.” Kiba smirked, cheering internally as he wheedled a smile out his friend. It was infinitely more comforting than the near murderous state his friend had been in before.

“You’ll have less time if you don’t leave now,” Shikamaru noted.

“Yeah, I know when I’m not wanted,” Kiba said. His grin slipped, turning serious as he glanced back at Naruto. “Keep me updated, ‘kay?”

Naruto’s face twitched. “Yeah."

“Good,” he said. “One hour.”

And he was off, taking the rest of his team with him and leaving Sai, Shikamaru and Naruto standing alone in the clearing. Well, not completely alone. Scene processors were still combing the area, but they were of little consequence when Naruto had so many other things to think about.

“Sai, I want you to take charge out here. Have the remaining teams report back to you. I need a detailed analysis of every root, tree, and hole you can find. They got in somehow and I want to know how.”

“Of course, Hokage-sama,” the Jounin Commander said. His brush materialized in his hand and, with a quick bow, he went to join the surveyors in their analyses.

Once Sai was out of range, Naruto patted Shikamaru’s shoulder and shouted out to the remaining shinobi, “Yamanaka Sai is in charge. Bring all weapons and equipment you find to Utatane Tenten. I want a detailed report as soon as you’re finished.”

“Sir!”

Naruto tightened his grip on his friend and signaled to leave, leaping through the trees and following after the spark he could still feel dwindling inside his son. His ANBU guard – those that hadn’t followed after Boruto – trailed somewhat behind, and he felt himself becoming increasingly annoyed by that. They shouldn’t be behind him. They should be surrounding him. If he was outpacing them, then they had no business as guards. Had Boruto’s team been so slow? If they were, it was no wonder he was taken. They would have to be replaced in the near future. This level of incompetency–

Shikamaru flickered into his peripheral, a sudden tightness around his arm alerting him to the contact.

“You’re leaking killing intent.”

What?

Naruto crawled his way back to reality. For the first time, he noticed the ache in his teeth from how tightly he’d clenched his jaw, and the pain in his palms as newly keened claws dug into the skin. His eyesight was sharper and he realized somewhat belatedly that he had incidentally begun channeling Kurama’s chakra.

He took a deep breath, releasing the energy, and felt his guards move in closer.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. Shikamaru nodded, letting go of his arm, and Naruto was grateful when he remained quiet. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation. 

Thoughts tumbled around in his head, too turbulent for him to get a firm grasp on. Plans for how to proceed jumbled with rage, which only made it harder for him to think. Naruto had never been very good at ignoring his emotions in the field and compartmentalization had been infinitely easier before he had a family.

The village grew closer, and his eyes picked out the excess activity with a certain measure of satisfaction. ANBU units stood along the perimeter, a visible presence today, while jounin and chuunin darted throughout the streets in groups in an obvious show of force. The civilians, he noted, were staying out of the way, going about their business with only the occasional nervous titter. No doubt many of them had at least heard the explosion, but in a shinobi village that could mean anything from training to invasion. So long as they weren’t being herded to the shelters they were confident in their own safety.

Good, Naruto thought. The last thing he needed was a mass panic.

In the distance, the bright green roof of the hospital glistened under the sunlight. His senses bypassed the multitude of chakra signatures that made up the patients and staff, and highlighted upon the one weak flame reaching out from the bowels of the building like a beacon. He found himself picking up the pace, his ANBU guards falling further behind, and while Shikamaru grunted he made no complaint at the excess speed.

Naruto landed on the stone pathway a minute later with Shikamaru not a second behind. Four ANBU were visible on the roof, but Naruto could sense at least ten more hidden along the property. His own guard joined them as soon as they arrived, positioning themselves accordingly. Naruto did not acknowledge them.

With great effort, he made sure his expression was as controlled as possible so as not to alarm any civilians that may be inside before pushing through the hospital entrance. Truthfully, Naruto hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it certainly hadn’t been this. Instead of the expected shouting, the lobby was filled with a tense sort of calm. He’d been ready to see blood tracking the floor, but the linoleum was as blindingly white as always. Normal patients sat waiting in their chairs, nurses stood at their stations, and there was only the occasional doctor. A few of them looked up when he entered, eyes going wide, but he ignored them, if somewhat reluctantly. This is gonna to send the rumor mill flying, but he was here for only one reason and it wasn’t to cater to their curiosity. There would be time for stories later.

“Hokage-sama?”

Naruto turned towards the meek voice and was met with a giant boulder of a man that almost eclipsed him in height. He wore the standard nurses uniform and had a head of dusty blond hair that sat shabbily on his head. Cautious brown orbs peered at him in a repetitive cycle of eye contact and floor staring. The man clutched his clipboard tightly as he shuffled uncertainly on his feet. To Naruto, it looked like the man was ready to bolt.

His nametag read: Yajirushi Mamoru

“Hokage-sama?” The man asked again, barely above a whisper. “Uchiha-sensei has instructed me to bring you to the Ward."

Somewhat thrown off by the dichotomy in the mountainous man’s countenance, Naruto could only nod. “Has there been any word?” He asked as he and Shikamaru followed the nurse out of the entranceway. From here, Boruto’s chakra felt even frailer, and he wasn’t sure if that was because of his injuries or the seals Naruto had personally crafted to hide the Ward from other sensors.

He prayed it was the latter.

To his dismay, the nurse shook his head. “No, Hokage-sama, not yet.” Yajirushi appeared genuinely remorseful.

The trio continued on in silence. They trailed through hallways and down corridors, past the children’s ward and the emergency department. Naruto knew the path by rote. Kakashi had taken him here before he was officially inaugurated to have his and his family’s chakra introduced to the seals. It was a special area, designed specifically to confuse and befuddle anyone not familiar with it. Only the Hokage, his family, and carefully selected personnel were permitted entrance. Everyone else had to be escorted.

They reached the first checkpoint within a few minutes. The regular hallway opened up into a small square room with only a single set of doors to make it interesting. Two ANBU stood on alert. They checked the seals on Naruto’s wrist and, once satisfied he wasn’t an imposer, allowed the trio through the doors and into another long hallway. It was surreal. The white hall seemed to go on forever – just one continuous corridor whose only defining quality was its sheer length. Had Naruto not known, he never would have suspected it was a genjutsu.

What seemed to be a regular corridor was really a maze of stairways and halls that spiraled down into the underbelly of Konoha. The group walked, down and down, until Naruto was very sure even Danzo’s tunnels stood above them. They went straight, left, right, and even appeared to go in circles. It was a marvel of engineering and genjutsu, and Naruto easily plucked out traces of Yūhi Kurenai’s chakra in the air.   

The three men eventually reached their destination: a large, unlabeled waiting room with six doors positioned around them. Three of those doors, Naruto knew, lead to recovery rooms. To his left was the entrance to the morgue. The last two, positioned ahead, lead to emergency rooms. The sign above one shone a bright red, indicating it was in use. Naruto closed his eyes and swallowed; Boruto’s chakra signature was still weak.

“Hokage-sama?” Yajirushi prodded, breaking the silence. “With your permission, I will return and escort your wife.”

Nodding jerkily, Naruto said, “Yes, of course. Thank you, Yajirushi-san.”

The nurse looked like we wanted to say something more, perhaps an offering of condolences or sympathy, but thought better of it. He bowed his head. “Hokage-sama. Nara-sama.”

In an instant, they were alone.

Shikamaru wasted no time. He immediately pinned Naruto with his eyes. “Alright, what are you planning?”

“Sasuke."

Shikamaru blinked. “Okay, and…?”

“Sasuke’s last letter came near the border of Yugakure. He knows Oto better than anyone here. If anyone can get in undetected, it’ll be him. Depending on what he finds, the ANBU will be his backup.”

The Nara considered this. It was a reasonable plan for something so spur of the moment. He inched closer, eyes narrow. “That’s not everything. What aren’t you telling me?”

Naruto bit his lip, waffling on the best way to tell his friend his suspicions. Being blunt was always his go-to, but would that be the best way to ease him in? Bah, Shikamaru was a genius, and it didn’t take one of those to come to the conclusion he had. “Sasuke’s the only person who knows where all of Orochimaru’s bases are. He knows how Orochimaru thinks. That could be invaluable.”

Shikamaru didn’t even have the courtesy to pretend at surprise. “Naruto, there are tons of settlements in that direction. You can’t jump–”

“What am I supposed to do, then?” He cut off. Icy shards bore down upon him and Shikamaru clenched his teeth. “Orochimaru disappeared after the war. We could never find him, and now suddenly, out of the blue, my son gets attacked by shinobi coming out of Oto? What would you call that – a coincidence?”

No, he would not call that a coincidence. Orochimaru had been Shikamaru’s first thought too. The problem was that Orochimaru was a worst-case scenario and they could no longer afford to play fast and loose with their accusations like they had when they were children. The far more reasonable explanation was that some small time group had gotten it into their heads to kidnap the Hokage’s son for a quick ryo.

But those were not amateur shinobi, he knew, and somehow they managed to get into the village and past Boruto’s guard. Ordinary mercenary groups wouldn’t have that capability. Someone else has to be behind this, and who more likely than Orochimaru?

But why Boruto? If it was Sarada, Shikamaru would have had an easier time agreeing with Naruto’s train of thought. Orochimaru had always coveted the Sharingan. What would trigger a desire for Boruto instead? Was it a mistake?

No, impossible. The differences in the two’s appearances could never be mistaken, even without taking into account their genders. Boruto was the target.

But why?

Of course, it was possible things had changed in the last decade or so, but something just didn’t sit right with the Nara. There were too many questions that still needed answering, even if Orochimaru played a part. And those didn’t even take into account what would happen if it wasn’t Orochimaru. What if it was some other country using Oto no Kuni as a diversion? What if this was a completely unknown adversary? Of the two options, Shikamaru wasn’t sure which was worse.

He sighed, deep and heavy. “We can’t assume anything. Just wait until Ino’s done, okay? You know her; she’ll get them talking, and then we can work from there.”

“They could regroup by then,” Naruto said, face like stone. “Try again.”

“They try again and we’ll show whoever is behind this exactly why you’re considered the most powerful shinobi in the world. They’re not going to get away with this, Naruto. I promise. But we have to be careful.”

“I am sick of being careful.” The Hokage position was all about being careful. Be careful, don’t insult the daimyō. Be careful, don’t mess up the trade agreement. Be careful, don’t start another war. “I just–I want–” Naruto sank down into a chair. The anger drained from him, dissolving into nauseating guilt. His nose clogged with the onset of tears, and he inhaled deeply in an effort to stem the onslaught.

“You want to punch something,” Shikamaru continued for him without an ounce of condemnation. He placed a gentle hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “You want something you can fight – something that can fix this. A face, a name. I get it. But Naruto…”

“I know,” Naruto rasped. “I have to be careful.”

“Yeah,” the Nara sighed, resigned. “You’re not just some random shinobi. You’re the Hokage. If we go storming Otogakure and they’re not the culprits, it could spell war. War, Naruto. Angry as you are, I know you don’t want that.”

“What am I supposed to do, Shika?” Naruto’s chin trembled and it was all Shikamaru could do to ignore the lump in his throat. “How am I supposed to fix this?”

“I don’t think you can,” and fuck if that didn’t hurt to admit. “But we’ll figure it out, yeah? You’ve saved the world twice. Compared to that, this’ll be a piece of cake.”

“Heh,” Naruto huffed, a bittersweet laugh that hardly passed for one at all. His eyes shimmered. “Shikamaru?”

“Hm?”

“Is this my fault? Did they hurt him because of me?”

“What? N–” but he couldn’t say ‘no,’ could he? Because it was entirely plausible Boruto was attacked for just that reason. Whether it was because his father was the Hokage, or because he was Uzumaki Naruto – both were possibilities. After all, if you wanted to provoke a reaction, what better way than to go straight for the heart?

Shikamaru sighed and lowered himself into the adjacent chair. He squeezed Naruto’s shoulder. “It’s not…impossible.”

The Hokage’s head bobbled, but his expression remained distant. He slumped over, threading filthy fingers through his hair and Shikamaru allowed him this time to think. He waited. It took a minute – two – but Naruto pulled himself back up and Shikamaru felt comfortable enough to move his hand away.

“We need a plan,” Naruto began. His hand waved about nervously as if he were trying to grab hold of the air. “Something we can tell the village, other villages, people. I don’t want this getting out.”

It’s already out, Shikamaru wanted to say. The explosion hadn’t exactly been subtle. But Naruto needed the distraction – reassurance, even – and he wasn’t about to take that away from him. “What were you thinking?”

“A training accident – spar gone too far. We can push something like that, right? It’s believable.”

Sure it was believable, if an Academy student wasn’t involved. “And Boruto? Naruto we don’t know–”

“What?” His timbre had gone frigid, body stiff as a corpse. “We don’t know what, Shikamaru?”

And damn did that tone send shivers down his spine, but Shikamaru wasn’t Naruto’s advisor because he told him what he wanted to hear. “We don’t know how he’s going to come out of that room. No, no, listen to me.” He pointed an ash-encrusted finger towards the surgery. “He was in an explosion. He wasn’t breathing. You know this, I know this, the ANBU know this. What are you going to do, Naruto? Have a clone run around pretending to be him until he’s recovered? That’s not going to work. Not only will people get suspicious when he doesn’t remember anything he did, but it’ll be a complete drain on you.”

“One clone is not going to drain me,” Naruto muttered to himself, but Shikamaru didn’t give him the chance to argue.

“One clone? No, but one clone plus the others you’re sure to be using to fix this, and the lack of sleep you’re no doubt going to be suffering? Yes. And do you even realize how many people you had out searching? How many people we had to swear to silence? Chuunin, jounin, ANBU. Hell, you even pulled Shino from his class. ANBU won’t speak, jounin probably won’t either, but one drunk chuunin? It’ll be out. My gods, do you even remember issuing the emergency protocols?”

As a matter of fact, Naruto did not remember that. It must have been before…before. He didn’t remember much of before right now.

“The village is on lockdown,” Shikamaru stressed. “No calls coming in. No calls going out. E-mail is shut down. The gates have locked. If the explosion didn’t clue people in, that certainly will.”

“We can’t tell them the truth,” the blond mumbled after a moment. In his head, condemnation rang. Liar, liar, liar. “We can’t let them know how easily we’ve been compromised. People will panic.”

“They’re already panicking.” It was a quiet panic, but it was there. “Look, if Boruto hadn’t been hurt, we might have been able to get away with it, pass it off as a false alarm, but people are smart. They’re going to put two and two together.”

Naruto shook his head, a little desperate. “He got in between a spar, then. Two…two jounin. They didn’t see him. It was an accident.”

“So, Boruto, a seven-year-old, managed to get between two fighting jounin – jounin who, I might add, somehow set off an explosion so large the village felt it – and they didn’t once sense his presence? That’s not going to fly. Especially when people realize that it’s Thursday and Boruto would have been at school and not so far out into the forests that he would have had to leave at four this morning in order to get there. Face it Naruto, this isn’t something we can just sweep under the rug.”

Naruto shook his head, knee bouncing up and down as he breathed into his hands. “I can’t,” he rasped. Liar, liar, liar. “If this gets out…Shikamaru, this is going to paint a target on his back.”

Shikamaru’s brow eased and he let himself lax forward, moving closer to his friend as if that would offer some comfort. Part of him whispered that this was the most troublesome thing he’d ever had to deal with, but he squashed the thought quickly. Annoyances were troublesome, and this was so far from an annoyance it wasn’t even in the same country. “He’s your son, Naruto; he’s had a target on his back since the day he was born. You know this. Any other kid and we might have had a chance, but Boruto isn’t just another kid. He’s the Hokage’s son. And not even that, but he’s your son. People are going to talk. Eventually, his classmates are going to notice he’s not there. Rumors will start, if they haven’t already. We can’t hide this.”

“So what?” Naruto pressed. “We tell them the truth?" Yes. No. Liar, liar, liar. "That–that someone – no, not someone, a group – a group of someones, managed to infiltrate the village, pluck my son up from off the streets in broad daylight, run him into the forest, and we didn’t even notice until we were told by his teacher that he wasn’t there? How is that going to look? How is that going to make people feel?”

“Terrified. They’re going feel terrified, but they’re going to feel even worse if we don’t head this off early. If we tell them now that the situation is under control, they’ll be far more likely to put it out of their minds than if we lie and they find out later.”

“I can’t…” It was barely more than a whisper, a low-rung keen that twisted Shikamaru’s heart. He thought briefly of his own son and tried not to vomit. Gods, what was he going to tell him?

“Naruto,” his put his hand back on his friend’s arm. “We don’t have a choice. If you’re right, and they come back, we have to be ready. Konoha has to be ready.”

A long silence passed. Shikamaru felt the pulse against his neck throb in time with his heart and he pulled his hand away. To think, all he’d thought he would have to do today was rearrange the budget. Another moment dragged by before Naruto let his head fall. A more resigned agreement Shikamaru had never seen.

The Hokage took in a shaky breath. “The attempt…we can tell them there was an attempt. The people were caught and Boruto’s safe. We have everything under control, okay? Nothing about Orochimaru or–or Oto or…” or how we didn’t know.

But Shikamaru wasn’t planning on letting anyone know anything about that. “I’ll release a statement.” He twiddled his fingers a bit, unconsciously connecting their tips like he had when he was younger. “And…how should I address his condition?”

Naruto’s fists clenched. “Tell them…tell them he’s fine. He’s in the hospital, but he’s going to be fine,” even though it was all too apparent how much that was both wishful thinking and a desperate attempt at convincing himself. Liar, liar, but who are you lying to?

Shikamaru pursed his lips. “He might not be.” He might not even come out of that room.

“And do we tell the village that? Make it look like these people succeeded? If I can’t protect my own child, how can they think I’d be able to protect them?”

And hell if Naruto didn’t have a point there. Successfully thwarting a kidnapping was praiseworthy; a resulting dead child was not.

He’s not dead, Shikamaru chided himself, all while ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that whispered, yet. Fuck, there had been so much blood.

“Understood, Hokage-sama. I’ll make sure people know he’s expected to make a full recovery,” even if it turns out to be a lie. Gods-fucking-dammit, how was he supposed to look Shikadai in the eye?

He glanced at Naruto. Never mind that, how was anyone going to be able to look at Himawari? Shikamaru took a deep breath, “Naruto–” The echoing staccato of shoes outside the door halted him cold. The Hokage immediately stood and Shikamaru followed, brushing a hand down his top in an attempt at cleanliness.

The entrance swung open before he’d had the chance to do much, admitting both Yajirushi and Hinata into the spacious waiting room.

Hinata inched a little bit further into the room, passing Yajirushi who’d remained in the doorway. She looked unnaturally composed, her outfit still pressed to perfection and her hair done up in a simple bun. Her hands were clasped together, but not so tightly as to indicate anything was wrong. Were it not for the fact that they knew her so well, both men never would have noticed the tremble in her hands or the tightness of her jaw. To any outsider, she would have appeared the picture of serenity.

Once closer, she bowed to the Nara. “Shikamaru-san.”

“Hinata-sama,” he said, bending just slightly further. A brief glance revealed the way her body leaned towards her husband and Shikamaru decided it was high time he took his leave. They didn’t need him as a witness right now. “Hokage-sama. I’ll go meet with Sai. We’ll coordinate a statement for the papers.”

“Thank you, Shikamaru.”

“Mah, I just want this done. I’ll keep you updated,” Shikamaru said, waving a lazy hand in dismissal. He bowed again and followed Yajirushi back through the winding hallways.

Naruto and Hinata waited just a few moments to make sure the duo had gone far enough before finally acknowledging each other. They stood for a second, neither moving an inch as if afraid doing so would break whatever control they had. The air pressed heavily around them as they fought to keep their emotions in check.

Hinata broke first. 

With a jerky start, she staggered from her spot, swiftly crossing the distance between herself and her husband, and threw her arms around his chest. Naruto was quick to respond, wounding his own arms around her middle to pull her closer. They didn’t shake or cry; they just tightened their grips on each other as Naruto buried his face in his wife’s neck.

He drank in the feel of her, hand involuntarily trailing up her back towards the drape of her neck. His fingers traced the scant strands of hair, wanting to pull the rest free of that infernal bun and bury his hands in it. He wanted to take comfort in the familiar sensation of silk, wanted to smell the lavender in her shampoo. They trailed back down, fingers digging into her shirt, bunching the cloth and ruining the carefully ironed fabric. He could feel her own nails clutching at his cloak like a lifeline.

Naruto’s throat convulsed. “Himawari?”

“With Shino,” she replied, and Naruto shuddered in relief. At least one of their children was safe.

His wife choked, with a sob or with fear he couldn’t tell.

“Naruto,” she begged. “Tell me he’s alive.”

Naruto swallowed hard. “He’s alive.”

“And?” She pulled away. Soot and dirt stuck to her body, and it was only now that he realized how filthy he was. Blood, mud and ash clung to him like tenacious children. Hinata didn’t seem to mind, her attention focused on him as she awaited an answer.

“And that’s all I know."

She shook. “They haven’t told you anything?”

“No,” Naruto shook his head. “Nothing, yet.”

And wasn’t that worst part of it all? It had been helpful to concentrate on the one thing still under his control, but with that done what was left? All he had now were questions and worst-case-scenarios. He felt like a caged animal compressed beneath bars too small for his body. His blood boiled, Kyuubi’s bellows for revenge echoing his own. Surely if he could see his son for just a second – hold him for just a second – it would be alright. He would keep him safe. No one could hurt Boruto as long as his dad was there.

But he couldn’t – he wouldn’t – not only because he probably wouldn’t know where the hell to start, but because to barge in now would only sign Boruto’s death warrant, and that hurt far worse than any helplessness he felt now. Instead, Naruto pulled Hinata back into his arms. Her warm weight against his chest was soothing as her fingers bungled his shirt.

“I need him,” Naruto heard her whisper into his chest.

“I know,” he murmured into her ear, moving to place one hand on the back of her head.

He felt her own hands on his back, fists shaking at the tenacity, and her jaw trembled against him. “Do we know who did this?” She asked, words dripping poison as anguish turned to anger.

“No,” he said, debating on what to say. Could he burden her with his suspicions so soon? It really was nothing more than an assumption, based solely off an easy to forge direction. He had no other evidence to suggest– "But we have some ideas.”

“What ideas?” He didn’t speak up and Hinata tightened her grip. “What ideas, Naruto?” She demanded.

Damn his inability to hide anything from her. “Oto.”

She wrenched back, staring up at him in shock. “W-what?”

“Sai found tracks leading north towards the border of Oto. He didn’t go far, but I sent Sasuke a message with Gamadoro. If anyone can find out if Oto’s involved, Sasuke can.”

“Orochimaru,” she stated, without any sign of shock or skepticism.

It wasn’t a big leap to make, of course, not when it came to anything relating to the Sound, but they had thoroughly searched the country for years with no sign of him. Naruto had almost hoped he’d pulled a Kabuto and turned his life around, content to live in obscurity. Maybe he would have set up a hospital or something somewhere. Not so, apparently, but for him to make himself known now was unsettling. “Are you sure?”

“No,” he admitted. “But I can’t think of anyone else.”

Neither could she. If it had been any other country, then yes, but Oto would always be indelibly tied to Orochimaru. “What are we going to do?”

He didn’t know. Fuck, he really didn’t know. Naruto couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this. He rested his chin on top of her head. “We’ll think of something.”

Hinata nodded, though it was obvious by the way she seemed to stare through him that she was unsure how. She bit her lip. “What are we going to tell Himawari?”

Nothing, he wanted to tell her. Himawari would never know. But even Naruto knew such a plan was unrealistic. Their little girl would ask questions; she would want to know where her big brother was – why he wasn’t home. It was going to go out on the news and they would have to tell her something. Himawari was precocious. If they didn’t tell her, she would find out through someone else, and that was a prospect he desperately wanted to avoid.

“We’ll tell her the truth,” he finally managed. “We’ll tell her a bad man hurt Boruto and that baa-chan is taking care of him.”

“And what if–” she swallowed harshly, taking a deep breath to steel herself. “A-and what if he–”

He pulled her closer, cutting off what she was going to say. He didn’t want to hear it. “We won’t have to tell her that. Boruto will be fine. He’ll be fine and running us ragged just like normal. Everything will be fine, Hinata. He’ll be okay.”

“You promise?” She begged, her voice barely a whisper and drowned by the tears she was no doubt suppressing.

Naruto’s teeth clenched, pain radiating throughout his jaw. He pressed swallowed lips to the crown of her head. “I promise.”

They didn’t speak again. There was nothing left to say. Their thoughts were too chaotic for words, their emotions too wild for reason. So they stood there, clinging to each other, hoping that when they finally let go the world would be right and everything would be back to normal.

It was not to be. Letting go only proved to twist their hearts into unmanageable knots.

At some point, the two gravitated over towards the chairs. For hours they sat there, not speaking – just taking comfort in the other’s presence. Hinata’s head rested on her husband’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her. Both had their free hands grasped in the other’s. ANBU filed in around midday, bringing report after report for Naruto to read. One was even kind enough to bring them a change of clothes. It forced them to move, if not function. More documents poured in and Naruto struggled to pay them any attention. It was a fruitless endeavor. He was too preoccupied monitoring his son’s debilitated chakra signature to focus on anything else.

It rose and fell at random intervals. Naruto’s leg spasmed with each fall – an involuntary prodding of his parental instincts telling him to go in and fix whatever was wrong. The only real thing that kept him from following through was Hinata’s tense presence at his side. It somewhat helped that each spell didn’t last too long, though somewhere between the Barrier Team’s update and Shino’s report Naruto noticed he’d been keeping count; by sundown, Boruto’s chakra signature had faded five times.

The emergency room light finally went off somewhere around six that evening. Night had already fallen, but being so far below ground neither Naruto nor Hinata noticed. They did feel the stiffness of their limbs however, and the ache from the chairs they had spent so long in, but their discomfort mattered little in comparison. All they cared about was the way Sakura wouldn’t meet their eyes.

Naruto’s knees locked. Hinata paled. They stood up stiffly in preparation.

Sakura took a deep breath. “He made it through the surgery,” she said, and Boruto’s parents sagged with relief. “But,” they tensed again, “he’s not out of the woods yet.”

“But he’s going to be okay, right Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked in desperation. When Sakura didn’t respond, he leaned forward and held up a hand as if to beg. “Sakura-chan?”

“Naruto,” the medic said, and it wasn’t hard to see that she was struggling to find some way to let him down gently. “Naruto, we don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?” He asked, nose flaring as he cycled amongst the complicated mixture of fear, disbelief, and misplaced anger. “How can you not know?”

“Naruto,” Hinata urged from his side. Her lips trembled and her fingers held his so tightly it was painful. He ignored her.

“No,” he said. “No, I want to know how the hell you can spend hours in there only to come out here and tell us that you don’t know if our son is going to fuckinglive?”

“Well, what do you want me to say, Naruto?” Sakura yelled back. She was already angry at her own limitations; she didn’t need Naruto’s condemnation too.

“I want you to say he’ll be okay. I want you to say he’ll wake up and everything will go back to normal. I want you to tell me my son is going to live.”

“But I can’t tell you that,” Sakura whispered, brokenly.

“Why?” He rasped, his throat catching on the word.

“Because it would be a lie,” she replied. “Do you want me to lie to you?”

Yes, Naruto wanted to say. Yes, he wanted her to lie and tell him all the things he wanted to hear, but even still, he couldn’t make himself say it. Naruto had always hated liars.

And yet, you're lying to the entire village.

Shut. Up.

“No,” he heard himself say. “No. I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” He took a deep breath and pulled himself together. Only now did he notice he couldn’t feel his fingers. “What else did you have to say?”

Sakura bit her lip, green eyes flashing between them both uneasily. With a guiding wave of her hand, she motioned to their abandoned chairs. “Let’s take a seat.”

The medic inched forward, but Naruto blocked her path. “We’d rather stand, Sakura-chan. If it’s all the same to you.”

“Naruto–”

“We would like to stand,” Hinata reiterated, sounding impossibly like Neji in that moment. “Please, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura didn’t like it and it was clear in the way she held her arms close to her chest, but she wasn’t about to make waves over something so trivial. The option was only there for Naruto and Hinata’s comfort anyway.

“Alright,” she relented, fingering the unnecessary diagnostic charts in her hand. With a deep breath, she allowed the friend to melt away behind the guise of an experienced doctor. “First things first, then: we’ve placed him in a coma.” She held up her hand to stall the exclamations she was sure were about to follow, but was pleasantly surprised when the only visible reaction she got was a widening of their eyes and a tensing of their shoulders. “It’s not uncommon in these situations. His injuries are extensive and there were some fractures to his skull. Because of the amount of swelling, our best option was to give the brain time to recover on its own.

“The minor injuries – lacerations, burns – were healed well enough, but his right leg and arm were broken in the fall, and his eardrums were ruptured by the blast. We’ve set the bones and repaired his ears, and expect a full recovery on those fronts,” she continued mechanically, flipping one of the papers over the clipboard as if she needed to.

“What we’re most concerned about is what are termed primary blast injuries. Under normal circumstances, shinobi rarely have to deal with this. Our chakra is capable of protecting us against pressures and temperatures that would usually kill a normal civilian. The problem is that, while Boruto’s chakra network is exceptionally advanced for his age, it’s also still developing. It was only able to take a portion of the blast, and even then it was severely damaged. No doubt, were Boruto from any other family his situation would be quite different.” A pregnant pause followed as the Sakura allowed them time to absorb this. “The blast caused a significant amount of trauma to his chest and abdomen. We’re going to be–”

“I’m sorry, what kind of trauma?” Hinata interjected, her expression distant.

Sakura’s gaze skirted across the file in her hand and Naruto momentarily wondered if it was really necessary or if she was trying to buy time. Her throat bobbed, and Naruto guessed he had his answer.

Sakura’s hands fell to her side. “It’s something called blast lung. We repaired what we could right now, but he’s still having difficulty breathing. If that was the only problem, it wouldn’t be as big of a deal, but his GI tract was also hit quite harshly. There were a few perforations and ruptures that may require further surgery, but the more his body can heal on its own the better.

“Now, there was also some damage to his eyes. We found blood leaking into the outer chamber and, while we have every reason to believe we were successful in repairing the damage, we can’t be sure until he wakes up. If everything went well, he should expect nothing more than a little pain."

“And if it didn’t?” rasped Hinata.

Sakura swayed her head, teeth gritted. “Then it’s possible that he may suffer from vision difficulties in the future,” she admitted.

“I see.” Hinata grew quiet, leaning herself further against her husband. Naruto didn’t mind.

“Yes, well,” Sakura cleared her throat, “the only other major issue we foresee is the possibility of chakra poisoning. As you know, too much pressure against the chakra coils can be…detrimental,” she said, picking the word carefully. Lethal would be the correct term and all of them knew it, but if Sakura could offer her friends any comfort it would be to at least not say the word out loud. “The strain of absorbing the blast combined with the extra pressure ruptured a few of his tenketsu. We’ve repaired what we could, but the possibility of a leak is high enough to raise concern, and if this happens his chakra could escape from his coils. If it does that, it could end up burning away at his organs.”

“And if this happens?” Naruto asked. He was intimately aware of what it felt like to have chakra burn away at his body and he would never wish it on his son.

“Then we rush him back into surgery very quickly.”

“Oh.”

There was really nothing else for it. What could he say? “I understand?” He didn’t understand. Most of what she said went completely over his head. All he got was further confirmation of what he already feared. Boruto could die. He could lose his son, and he was so numbed by that knowledge that he failed to notice Sakura move. He didn’t even realize she had cupped his chin until she was forcing him to look at her.

“Hey. He’s got both Tsunade-sama and me on his case. He isn’t going to die that easily,” she said, as if saying it would make it true.

“But he still could.”

“Yes.”

Naruto bobbed and looked away. “Okay,” he whispered, making it very clear he was not okay.

Sakura sighed, but refrained from moving closer. He was too worked up and she would only make it worse if she made to hug him. Best to give him space for now. With some reluctance, Sakura pulled her hand away. “Look, I can’t tell you everything will be okay, but I can tell you we’ll be doing everything in our power to make sure he gets better. Tsunade-sama and I will be here the whole time. Boruto-chan won’t so much as sneeze without us knowing.”

That did make Naruto feel somewhat better, if only minutely.

“How long do you think before h-he wakes up?” Hinata asked, her tongue stumbling over the words.

Sakura did a little half-shrug, everything about her apologetic. “We don’t really know. We’re hoping we won’t have to keep him under for more than a week or so, but honestly it’s all up to him at this point. He’s strong though, and he’s got your hard head, Naruto. If anyone’s gonna get through this, it’ll be him.”

Naruto’s mouth ticked upwards. “Thanks, Sakura-chan.” Beside him, Hinata nodded her assent, eyes misty. Both of them were far too pale for Sakura’s liking.

She scoffed, face tinged with exasperated fondness. “You don’t have to thank me, idiot,” she said. “It’s my job. Besides, I love that kid too you know.”

The Hokage’s lips pursed tremulously – gratefully. “I know.” He swallowed harshly, bringing up a palm in askance. “Can we see him?”

“Of course,” Sakura said, maneuvering to gently take the hand. To Naruto, it felt more like a manacle chaining him in place. “We’ve moved him to a room and Tsunade-sama is personally making sure he’s all set up, but you have to be quiet and mindful of what you touch.”

Naruto and Hinata nodded, squeezing each other’s hands fervently in reassurance. Sakura then tugged them forward towards the door closest to them.

“He’s in here. Tsunade-sama will be taking the first shift, so if you need anything or anything happens, let her know. I’ll be on standby at home, just in case,” Sakura stated, opening the door. She held it open for them and they entered on lead feet, Naruto pulling Hinata just slightly.

Were it not for the machines, it would have been a remarkably cheery room. There was a soft brown couch against the far wall, plush with pillows and a thick blanket, with a side table positioned nearby. Bright moonlight splayed through the window, melding comfortably with the gentle light of the overhanging lamps. Naruto briefly wondered how such a spectacle was possible so far below ground, and then remembered the genjutsu and surmised it must be something similar.

It was possibly the most comfortable hospital room Naruto had ever seen and he couldn’t even bring himself to care. The only thing that mattered was the child lying wan and dwarfed beneath a series of thin blankets. Boruto’s hair had been washed of blood and his clothes replaced by pale green hospital robes. Bandages covered him from head to toe, leaving very little skin for Naruto to see. Only the tips of his fingers were visible under the wrappings and they were covered in wires and tubes, pumping in all manner of fluids Naruto couldn’t begin to guess at. A ventilator sat next to Boruto’s bed, whirring loudly.

Tsunade stood facing them, her body bent over the boy having finished adjusting a wire somewhere behind his ear. Her face was sallow and, though her henge hadn’t yet dropped, Naruto was just able to make out a few wrinkles along her forehead. Rough fingers tangled through Boruto’s hair, gently playing with the locks sticking out from under his bandages. Only now did Naruto notice how uneven they were, as if bits of his hair had been hacked away.

“Tsunade-sama,” greeted Sakura from somewhere to his left.

The older woman exhaled deeply. “I heard you.” She cracked her neck, shuffling away from the bed. “He’s all set up if you want to head home, Sakura. I’ll take it from here.”

The pink haired woman bowed, casting a sidelong glance to her friends that they didn’t catch. “Right. I should get Sarada, anyway. Almost dinner, after all. I assume she...”

“Shino,” uttered Naruto absently. It had been on some document somewhere. His throat strained under the effort. “Shino has her.”

Sakura shifted awkwardly, caught between gratefulness and pity. “Oh.” She scuffled her feet. “Thank you, Naruto,” she said trying to smile, but he wouldn’t look at her, and she and Tsunade exchanged furtive glances.

She started forward. “Naruto, I-”

“Sakura.” Tsunade stopped her. She shook her head and flicked hazel eyes to the door meaningfully. Sakura slouched in dejection.

“Right,” she stated dismally in acquiescence. There were too many people in the room already. Pasting on a thin smile, all swallowed lips instead of teeth, Sakura said, “I’ll be in when my shift starts.” Her eyes flashed between the assembled group and she bowed stiffly. “Hokage-sama. Hinata-sama. Tsunade-sama.”

Tsunade was the only one to acknowledge her as she made her way out the door. Naruto and Hinata remained unresponsive, and with one last backwards glance Sakura quietly left, closing the door with a soft click.

The Godaime clacked her tongue.

“Well come in. You’re not doing any good by standing there.”

In some ways, Naruto appreciated the caustic remark. Shikamaru and Sakura had been so overly cautious of his feelings that it had started to irritate him. The fact that Tsunade wasn’t talking to them like they were made of glass was oddly comforting.

If she could talk like that, then surely it couldn’t be as bad as it looked.

“Careful where you step,” Tsunade remarked, as the two parents edged their way further into the room. It took them far more effort than it should have and they only made it halfway to the bed before they could go no further.

Tsunade sniffed disapprovingly.

“Is that it? I expected better from you two.” When they still didn’t move, Tsunade sighed. The diamond on her forehead scrunched between resigned brows. “It could be worse, you know,” she said, not unkindly. “He could not be here at all.”

At that, Hinata inhaled loudly, hand rising to muffle the sound. Naruto flinched, violently.

Tsunade sighed again, drawing herself up. “Look, I understand it’s not what you want to hear, but what you want isn’t my concern. You need to understand just how far he has to go and how much he’s going to need you.”

“Sakura already explained, baa-chan,” Naruto added, with a note of ‘I-don’t-want-to-hear-anything-else.’

“I’m aware,” Tsunade said, ignoring his tone. “But I’m not talking about his physical needs. Recovering from injuries like these are not a simple matter of healing the wounds; his mentality could mean the difference between life or death. We have plenty of evidence to suggest Boruto will have at least some comprehension of what is going on around him. He can hear you. He’ll know you’re here. And if he thinks you’ve given up on him then he might just give up too, and there won’t be a damn thing Sakura and I can do to help.”

“W-wait?” Naruto started forward, freezing at the last second. “You think we’d–? We’d never do that!”

“Intentionally, no. I know you both well enough to think otherwise. But,” and she pointedly inspected their feet, “fear has a way of playing with you.”

Again, Naruto flinched, this time pushing aside the retort dangling from his lips. He couldn’t argue with her, especially when he couldn’t necessarily prove her wrong.

“We understand,” Hinata answered for them both. She placed her hand steadily on Naruto’s forearm and he felt some of the tension leave his body.

Though she didn’t look completely satisfied, Tsunade nevertheless let the matter drop. She motioned towards their son. “We’ve set him up on a ventilator to help regulate his breathing, and a feeding tube so we can make sure he’s getting proper nutrients. This,” she pointed to the wire behind his ear, “is helping us to drain some of the fluid building up under his skull. Don’t touch it.” Her gimlet stare was enough warning of the consequences should they do so, not that Naruto had any such intentions of touching anything.

“Nurses will be in every so often to turn him over so he doesn’t develop any bedsores. Once he’s more stable we can teach you to do it. This line here is delivering his seizure medication and…” she went on. There was a catheter for wastes, anti-embolism stockings to prevent clots, an EKG for his heart, a pulse oximeter to measure blood oxygen – Naruto tuned her out halfway through. He could barely understand a word of it so it did little help to listen. A careful eye was all he managed, watching wherever she pointed. It wouldn’t do to jostle something accidentally, and it wasn’t until Tsunade moved to a wire along Boruto’s chest that a slight breeze was able to jolt Naruto out of his daze. Hinata had found her footing and inched away from him to edge closer to their son.

He observed the way her feet moved along the linoleum – quick, but hesitant, as if she couldn’t decide whether or not she wanted to approach the boy or leave the room entirely. Either way, she was doing much better than he was; he couldn’t move at all.

Coward.

Naruto didn’t actually notice when Tsunade stopped talking, but he did feel her hand on his shoulder as she turned to leave. With a gentle squeeze, she caught his attention. “He’ll be okay, Naruto.”

“You can’t promise that,” he rasped back, not sure if the low tone was for Hinata’s benefit or his own weakness.

“No,” she answered frankly, “but he’s got better chances than most. Don’t start doubting him now.”

With a quiet huff, Naruto shadowed a grin. “Never.”

“Good.” She studied him intently. Then, in a bid of sympathy, she asked, “Do you want me to handle the paperwork tonight?”

Shit. He hadn’t even thought about the paperwork. Funny how just this morning his biggest problem was how much money to allocate between the different Academy programs. How was he supposed to deal with all the mundane shit and this without going insane?

A wholly unconvincing smile morphed out of the one already on his face and he heard himself say, “I thought you said you’d never touch another slip of paperwork as long as you lived.” He let out a laugh, but it sounded hollow even to him.

Tsunade smiled anyway. “Then you should take advantage of the offer because I won’t be doing it again.”

She didn’t mean that and he knew it, but a small part of him wanted to refuse. He was the Hokage now. It was his job to manage the village. Tsunade was retired and she’d already spent herself healing his son. To ask her to spend more of her time and energy doing his job felt…negligent, like he wasn’t living up to expectations.

Something on his face must have tipped her off to his line of thinking because Tsunade gently used her fingers to turn his face towards her. “Look, I’m going to be up anyway, at least until Sakura relieves me. You might as well give me something to do before I get bored enough to bring out the sake.”

“You’re gonna bring out the sake anyway,” Naruto mumbled, but now a grin was beginning to curl up his face, one far more honest than the prior one.

“Brat,” she uttered, affection dotting her tone. It was true though. First thing she planned on doing once she got back to her office was open a new bottle and down it.

“Hag,” Naruto replied halfheartedly, and Tsunade wacked him softly upside the head. It didn’t even make him flinch.

“Just for that I take back the offer.”

“Really?” He didn’t know why the thought was so disappointing. Hadn’t he just been lamenting the very thought of her helping?

“Do you want me to?” She eyed him steadily, ready to accept whatever he told her, but Naruto knew giving her the wrong answer would leave her severely disappointed in him. The child in him shriveled at the thought.

Naruto could never stand to disappoint people.

“No,” he whispered, while the word yes echoed in his head. Tsunade’s pleased glow didn’t help either. What message did it send to have Tsunade dealing with village matters? Would people think he didn’t care about their needs? Would it look like he was giving his son priority?

Stop, he scolded himself. The village had been infiltrated. The Hokage’s family attacked. Konoha threatened. Of course this would have to take priority over more mundane matters. People would understand.

But what if they don’t?

Tsunade tsk-ed beside him and squeezed his shoulder again. “Oi, don’t look so glum. It’s just for tonight. Tomorrow we can come up with a more permanent solution, at least until Kakashi gets back, alright?”

Naruto nodded, eyes tracing the wall behind her. “Alright.”

He heard Tsunade’s release of breath. “If it makes you feel better I’ll send anything pertinent to you.”

Well, it was something. “Thanks, baa-chan.”

“Hmm,” she intoned, not sounding as if it was something he should be thanking her for. “Just don’t give me another patient to work on, okay? One of you is enough. I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“At least you admit it,” he said, once more accepting the slap she sent to his head. This one was a little rougher. “Oi, you keep doing that and I will be your patient.”

“Cheeky little–” but Tsunade cut herself off. “Just get some rest, alright?” Her eyes trailed away from him and over to Hinata and Boruto. She turned somber. “You can be Hokage tomorrow, Naruto. The village won’t begrudge you being a father tonight.”

Naruto’s chin trembled. He tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. Tsunade understood anyway.

She leaned forward, finger poised to poke him, and he flinched instinctively. That said, he was almost not surprised when she instead used it to pull him in and lay a gentle, motherly kiss to his forehead. He was taller than her now, and stronger, but the feeling it left was the same indescribable warmth he’d experienced the first time she’d done it all those years ago. He sniffled, loudly.

With a tremulous, grateful nod Naruto pulled away. Tsunade’s thumb caught on his cheek and she used it to brush something aside. It almost felt wet. Her lips tightened in what could have been the beginnings of a sympathetic smile before she pulled away. With a small inclination of her head towards his family, Tsunade maneuvered towards the exit. Seconds later, the door clicked shut and Naruto listened as she moved further and further away, the telltale clacking of her heals echoing in her wake.

They were alone.

The air in the room condensed around him as it finally registered. He hadn’t even realized how much of a distraction Tsunade provided until she was gone. Now, there was nothing to prevent him from facing his family. He swallowed harshly and dragged his gaze forward.

Hinata sat in the chair facing him, her back so straight it had to be painful and her hands twisting spasmodically in her lap. She’d been silent throughout his exchange with Tsunade and he briefly wondered if that was on purpose or if she just hadn’t noticed? Judging by the expression on her face, he was leaning towards the latter.

Naruto watched one of her hands twitch, the appendage inching closer to the bed only to flinch back as if burned. Once more, twice, three times. Her fingers danced along the sheets, like she was simply straightening the bedspread – like Boruto was home and had merely fallen asleep for the night.

The sound of his ventilator was deafening.

“There are so many tubes,” Hinata muttered into the stillness. A desperate laugh bubbled from her chest. “I don’t know where to touch him.” She turned to him, searching for some kind of answer. “Naruto, I don’t know where to touch him.”

Naruto could only stare helplessly back at her. He had no answer. The floor swayed beneath his feet and a stone had long since pitted itself in his stomach. But he couldn’t let Hinata down. She needed him to be strong. Boruto needed him to be strong.

He managed to lift one foot in front of the other, his goal the chair facing his wife so that he might be able to give her some measure of comfort. He didn’t know if it worked, but if he could draw strength from her then maybe he could give some back.

“Well, I guess we…” he trailed off trying to find somewhere safe to touch. Boruto just looked so fragile. Naruto was afraid contact of any kind would only hurt him further.

He examined his son’s hands – his tiny, tiny fingertips, the nails chipped and bruised. Naruto reached out to them, paying extra attention not to dislodge the IVs or jostle the pulse ox. His own fingers traced along his son’s, testing to see if they would break. They didn’t and Boruto continued his mechanical breathing.

“I guess we can hold his hands,” he said. He gently twisted his flesh-and-blood fingers around the underside of his son’s broken ones and held tight. The warmth was indescribable against his skin and he swallowed passed the tears lumping in his throat.

Across the bed, Hinata did the same with Boruto’s other hand and he knew instantly the moment relief took hold. She sniffled back a cry and wiped at her eyes, before reaching out with her free hand to cup his bandaged cheek.

She gasped out another choked sob, but somehow still managed to smile. It looked dazzling. “Hi sweetheart,” she began, roving every inch of his face as if trying to memorize it. “It’s mommy. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to let you know how much I love you and how much I can’t wait to see you open your eyes again. I know you’re going to be just fine. I have faith in you.” She choked again, but didn’t pull away. “A-and when you wake up, we’ll be here to see you. We’ll be right here, so you don’t have to worry about fighting a-alone. Mommy and d-daddy are going to help you. I promise, sweetheart. I promise, and we don’t ever go b-back on our promises, r-right?”

She ducked her head, and Naruto reached out with his prosthetic to cover her hand with his own. The feeling in his fake arm had never been quite the same as his real one, but in this instance he found he much preferred the odd tingling sensation to nothing. Hinata’s face was wretched, and he did his best to smile. Her lips twitched in return and she gently twisted her hand so that she could stroke the back of his with her thumb.

“Hey buddy, you listen to your mom, okay? She’s usually right about these things, you know? Besides, mom’s not the only one rooting for you. Dad’s here, too. I know you’re gonna be fine. You’re strong like that. One of these days you’ll be stronger than mom and me. You just–you just gotta get through this. I know it’ll be hard, but we’re gonna help. So, you don’t have to be afraid. You have so many people willing to help, so you just have to wake up soon and let us know you’re okay. Can you do that?” There was no response, not that Naruto had expected one. He dutifully ignored the way it made his heart clench and tried to smile, afraid it came out a little bitter. “That’s okay, you’re tired. It’s been a long day. You just sleep, okay? You sleep and mom and dad will be here to protect you. We’ll keep you safe, Boru. I promise, we’ll keep you safe.”

He couldn’t talk after that. His throat closed, a strange convulsing of the muscles as his chest grew tight. A thousand words hung from his lips, but he was unable to say any of them. All he could do was sit and wait – wait for any sign of life besides the beeping of the machines and the sound of the ventilator. He held his son’s hand like a lifeline.

“He’s so still,” Hinata finally muttered after a bout of silence. It was startling to hear her at first – like an unwanted interruption inside his brain. Everything about her spoke of longing, though it could just as easily been grief. “He’s never still when he sleeps.”

“No,” Naruto half-laughed. “No, he’s usually too busy rolling around.”

“He got that from you."

This time the laugh was fuller. “Yeah, though that whole curling up into a ball thing he got from you.”

“True,” she smiled. It only lasted a moment, as her eyes continued to drink in the visage before her. “I don’t like seeing him so still.”

“Me neither,” Naruto agreed. It was unnerving.

There was another length of silence as the two basked in the feeling of Boruto’s pulse under their fingers. Hinata carefully stroked his cheek with her thumb. She ignored the sensation of bandages and plastic and just reveled in the miniscule movements. Naruto compulsively counted his son’s fingers.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. His hand quivered. The roiling power from hours ago roiled beneath his fingertips, ready for the slightest slip to escape. He grit his teeth. Not now, he scolded himself. Not here. But the thrumming was persistent, and with it the niggling doubt he’d harbored all day. If he had acted sooner after the blast, if he’d gotten there before Sakura, if he hadn’t frozen like an idiot, would his son be like this now? He’d grown Kakashi a new eye and brought Gai back from the brink of death; surely, he could have done something for his own son. Surely, he could still do something.

Doesn’t work like that, Naruto, Kurama reminded from the dregs of his mind.

Why? Something akin to loathing rose in his chest. His whole body grew hot with each new count of Boruto’s broken fingers. Why can’t it?

It’s not a cure-all. You can’t do everything.

If I’d acted sooner. If I hadn’t frozen-

It wouldn’t have made a difference, Kurama rebutted. Fact is, Naruto, his body was so badly damaged that even if you did manage to move, you would have just gotten in the way.

I could have healed the burns, or-or his eyes or his chakra or-

Or nothing. The Kyuubi sighed, deep and echoing. Could you have healed the burns? Maybe. But you don’t know the first thing about internal injuries. You couldn’t have fixed his eyes if you tried.

I did with Kakashi.

No. You gave him a new eye. Your chakra just copied his other one. And with the kid’s chakra system so badly damaged, flooding it with your own would have just made it worse.

Naruto snorted, unamused. I could feel his life flickering. I don’t think it could have gotten any worse.

You say that, but even I know he’s better off than he has any right to be. If he weren’t of your blood chances are he would be dead.

Please don’t say that, Kurama.

I thought you didn’t like people who lied? Especially people who lied to themselves? That was a low blow, and even without being able to see him, Naruto could feel the fox’s reproachful stare. He swallowed roughly.

I don’t, but he was being a hypocrite and he knew it. Already today he'd set up the biggest lie of his life and spoonfed it to his people. And still, just this once, he thought he might have preferred the lie.

Kurama easily picked up on this and chuffed disbelievingly into the void. Alright, how about this. What would you say if I told you he’d wake up tomorrow perfectly fine? You’re all happy and excited, but tomorrow comes and it doesn’t happen. How would you feel then, with all your hopes crushed? How would you feel about the lie I’d told you just to make you feel better for a single moment? Would that single moment of relief make up for the rest of your son’s lifetime?

No, Naruto choked.

No, the Kyuubi agreed. Face it, you couldn’t do anything, but your medics could and they did and he’s here now. When he gets a little better, maybe – maybe – we can try healing him. But right now, you’d just make it worse.

The truth in that statement hurt. Everything about it hurt, and Naruto subconsciously twisted his fingers further around his son’s. The energy in his veins pulsed.

I’m going to kill them, Kurama. If he couldn’t use his power to heal, then he could at least use it to find those responsible. And when he did…

We’ll kill them, brat. They won’t even know they’re dying by the time we get through with them.

The thought made Naruto smile. Thank you, Kurama.

For you, kid, anything.

Hinata’s breath hitched, pulling her husband’s attention away from Kurama and back into the real world. He could feel the Kyuubi hedging away, returning to the seal to plot as his wife focused wide, terrified eyes on him.

“Hinata?”

“What are we going to tell Himawari?”

Shit.

Naruto leaned back in his chair, a sense of profound helplessness pulling him down like a particularly violent whirlpool.

What were they going to tell their daughter? It was one thing to discuss options when the evidence of his own failure wasn’t staring him in the face, but there was no way they could tell Himawari what had really happened to her brother. “I don’t know,” he muttered, words smothering like a heavy weight on their shoulders. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe and he fell back on counting Boruto’s fingers. The repetition was soothing.

One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. Five perfect fingers. He continued the cycle. Over and over he repeated his count, trying to keep his emotions at bay. What were they going to tell their daughter? They couldn’t show her this. She would have nightmares for the rest of her life. But what if Boruto didn’t make it? What would they tell Himawari then?

No. Boruto would be fine. He would wake up and everything would go back to normal.

Do you really think it’s that simple?

No. But then what was he supposed to do? Follow them the rest of their lives? Was he doomed to stand watch over their shoulders, an over-protective father, wondering if everyone had it out for his children? Of course, they’ll be after them. This is only the first of many. You’re the Hokage. You’re the Hero of the World. You put your children in danger just by being you. Acid burned his throat and Naruto smelled the bile far before he tasted it. You did this. This is your fault. It was all his fault and if he planned to fix anything he would have to start by making sure that any further attempt was thwarted before it even began.

The ANBU. He would have to rearrange the ANBU. There was already a detail on him just by the nature of his position, and a team rotating his house, but gone were the days where he’d thought to assign one to every member of his family. That would have to change. Himawari and Boruto were too vulnerable, and while Hinata wouldn’t like it, she’d at least understand. The only problem was that he would have to manage this while maintaining the emergency protocols and keeping up with all the missions still filing in.

Gods, there was so much shit he had to do. All the reports left half-read were only going to pile up, and that didn’t even take into account the personal meetings he had to have now with each department. They couldn’t lock down the village for too long lest trade suffer and he would have to reassure the Civilian Assembly soon that the routes were safe. He would also have to inform the Kage since Boruto’s attack was not only an affront against him, but also the village at large. If the other villages were similarly struck and it got out that he’d kept mum, well then he could very swiftly kiss his alliances goodbye.

For a split-second, Naruto wondered if Kakashi wanted the hat back.

No, he scolded himself. This was his dream. He’d known what it entailed when he agreed to the mantle, and yet had already dragged Tsunade back under the hat. How could he think to do the same to his teacher? Kakashi was retired – had earned his retirement! It was his responsibility now. He couldn’t just run away like a child. The time for doing so had long since passed.

Naruto ran a thumb along his son’s hand, doing his best to ignore the plaster. The white wrappings were achingly similar to his own. Usually the sight of his prosthetic was enough to fill him with pride – he’d gotten it to save his friend, after all – but now it was all he could do to look at it. He never wanted his son to feel that kind of agony. With every stroke he had to awkwardly stop and twist his hand so as not to dislodge any of the needles. Boruto hated needles.

The rage returned. It roiled in his chest in a way even the Kyuubi’s hatred never had. Copper danced tantalizingly along his tongue and he wished rather vindictively that Ino would keep her guests alive long enough for him to get there and watch. Maybe she’d even let him have a swing or two. It would be very cathartic.

We’ll kill them, Kurama’s promise echoed in his head.

Good.

Because he wanted these people dead as he had never wanted anyone else. He wanted them to feel the same pain he was feeling right now. He wanted them to know the suffering they caused his family – the anguish they had caused his son. And he wanted, so, so, desperately for them to see it coming – to see it coming and know they were powerless to stop it. He wanted to look them in the eyes and see their fear. Perhaps then they’d understand what they’d done.

But most of all, he wanted to find the person who ordered this, whether they be Orochimaru or some other monster. He wanted to see the horror on their face, the knowledge that they had caused their own demise. Naruto did not believe in revenge. He’d spent too many years trying to drag his friend back from the brink to fall prey to it. Instead, he would call for retribution – retribution for a wrong done to an innocent child.

Anticipation speared through his veins. His face set, his jaw clenched, and his teeth ground sharply together. Aureate eyes simmered in the dim light, pupils contracting into slits. Naruto took a deep breath and forced himself to hold it all back – back into the depths of his mind to fester. Now was not the time for rage. It had no place near his son. But later, he would need it. He would build it up, save it, and keep it at the ready. It would be motivation.

Because Naruto would find the people who did this…

And he would destroy them.