Sasuke stared at Naruto. Naruto stared back, forehead crinkled just a bit, big blue eyes staring at him hopefully. Sasuke felt as though the world had been pulled out from under his feet like an oversized rug. “I…” He trailed off, saying he didn’t want children wouldn’t be true, but telling Naruto he did right at this moment wasn’t either. “I hadn’t thought about it.” Not technically true either but easier to explain.
“Really?” the blond tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. Naruto had always wanted a family, Sasuke – well Sasuke hadn’t envisioned a future past avenging his first family.
“Not everyone thinks like you!” Sasuke snapped, before taking a deep breath, “Sorry, I didn’t- I…” He paused for a second, put your thoughts into words he reminded himself, parts of him still wanted to get up and leave, or throw a lightning bolt at the other man whenever he felt like this, small, insecure, like he should have figured everything out years ago because everyone else had. “Kids were always about carrying on the bloodline. Even before,” A brief inhale through his nose jesus he was a grown man talking about having kids of his own and yet it still hurt to think of his own parents, “in my village having the most successful kids was important.” Probably a big reason Sasuke had to remind himself that his husband wasn’t actually trying to rub it in his face that he knew what he wanted but genuinely loved him and cared about his opinions.
“Oh,” Naruto paused staring at his husband, “I didn’t think of that. I mean I’ve always wanted a big family.” When he was younger he’d imagined a big house with too many kids, aunts, uncles and cousins filtering in and out just as often, shouting and laughter keeping the house alive, always food on the table and toys to trip over. The dream had moved from him being a kid to a parent as he aged but it remained fundamentally the same. He was still trying to run as far away from that empty house and the weeks on end that would pass without anyone so much as making eye contact with him. Of course, falling head over heels for another orphan wasn’t exactly doing wonders for his hope of having an extended family but expanding on the two of them was still very much something he wanted to do.
“Family meant something very different to me Naruto.” Sasuke said quietly.
It was an old wound, a topic they’d talked about a lot. Naruto had never known his family, had always been so desperate for love, Sasuke had, hadn’t been particularly close to his family something he still felt guilty for admitting because how do you resent your father for making you feel inferior all the time, your mother for being nothing but placating words when they were dead; and then, of course, Itachi wasn’t exactly a model family member.
Naruto nodded, “I know,” He leaned forward and grabbed Sasuke’s hand, squeezing it.
“So, do you uh want to have them?”
Naruto’s face scrunched up in confusion, “Um, I mean yeah that’s what-“
Sasuke shook his head, “I mean do you want to,” he gestured at Naruto vaguely, “Have them.”
“Oh!” Naruto shook his head vigorously, “No! I mean I don’t- being Hokage and all that and I just, I don’t think that I-“
“Hey,” Sasuke cut him off, “You don’t have to justify it to me.”
Naruto smiled at him, the frenzied energy leaving him just as quickly as it had come. “Thank you.”
Sasuke shrugged, it wasn’t that big a deal. Sure, it meant that he would be the last of his clan and the last to carry a sharingan but upon realising that he recognised that he didn’t actually care. In all honestly at the realisation a weight seemed to lift off his shoulders. Suddenly this hypothetical child didn’t have to excel at the academy, they didn’t have to graduate before their peer group, didn’t have to immediately start down the track to be a jounin. This child could be anything they wanted to be and Sasuke realised that he wanted to foster that with his entire heart. “Adoption then?”
“Wait, you really want to do this?”
Sasuke grinned at Naruto, “I do.” He let his grin move from genuine to humorous, “But if they aren’t named yet I get to pick.”
“What, why?”
“You once told me you’d name your son Boruto.”
“As a tribute to Neji!” the blond exclaimed.
“It’s literally your name with a B!”
The couple quickly descended into an argument over the name of their hypothetical child.
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“Why is Sakura here?” Sasuke said as way of greeting, the strawberry haired woman shooting him a dirty look.
“She’s here to bring me my sexy man juice!” Naruto grinned brightly, swinging his legs back and forth from where he sat perched on the kitchen counter.
Sasuke rolled his eyes upward, “Don’t call it that.”
“I actually have another reason to be here other than Naruto’s hormones,” Sakura interrupted, “I wanted you both to be here though.”
Sasuke stiffened at her tone, surely no good news could come from this, still, he reminded himself, anything drastic would have been told to the Hokage in private rather than including his husband in the mix.
“You recall the Tanakas?” Sakura directed the question at Naruto.
Naruto nodded, the Leaf may have been war free for the last few years but that didn’t prevent causalities on missions.
“Their little girl, Chinami, was meant to live with her grandmother, but…” Since Naruto had become Hokage there had been a much greater emphasis placed on children receiving care if their parents were lost but kids still managed to slip through the cracks, “She left to move to the Land of Fire, just left the kid there.”
It wasn’t an uncommon circumstance, intergenerational trauma really didn’t make for the most stable of care givers, still if he recalled correctly Chinami was only a couple of years old, not an age one should be left alone at.
Sasuke just stared at Sakura, pretty sure he knew where this conversation was going. “She needs a home.” He said bluntly.
Naruto’s mouth dropped open to form and O, finally catching on to the thread of the conversation.
“Yes.” Sakura replied.
Naruto leapt off the kitchen counter, wrapping Sasuke in a hug, “We’re going to be fathers!” He yelled, the loud sound so close to Sasuke’s ears earned him and disapproving hnnnn but the smile spreading across his face betrayed his feelings.
Sakura raised her eyebrows at the couple’s shenanigans. Watching as Sasuke wrapped his arm around Naruto returning his embrace.
“She’s currently with Kaito but I’ll organise to have her brought over here for you guys to meet. Do you have a room set up for her?” Sakura asked, moving straight onto business.
Naruto broke away from Sasuke his face splitting into an even wider grin if that was possible.
“We weren’t sure what age so we didn’t know if we should get a cot or a bed.” Sasuke explained, gesturing to the bed, the sides of which converted into a cot but currently were slotted down.
The room was a bright yellow, matching Naruto’s striking hair – it’s a happy colour it’ll make them feel safe! Sasuke had defended his choice of paint when Naruto had walked into the room laughing at the colour, I just thought you’d choose some emo colour like black. The blond had grabbed his pouting husband around the waist, and kissed his cheek, I love it. And he still did, the yellow looked welcoming, the sun filtering through the window seemed to light up the room even more, a mobile of different animals hung from the ceilings and an arrange of toys were artfully placed around the room, ranging from teething toys suitable for a two-month-old to toys and books for older children. Sasuke had told Naruto to wait until they knew how old the kid would be but was honestly just as guilty and bringing home toys from his ventures through town.
“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Sakura told them, “And hey,” she paused smiling at her old team, “I’m sure you’ll be great dads.”
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Naruto fell into fatherhood easily in a way that Sasuke just didn’t. The chubby toddler was instantly smitten with the blond in the way in which so many were. Naruto was the sort of person others were drawn to, the sort whose presence alone made it impossible to not smiled, his stupid unrealistic optimism made those around him feel safe and secure, and Chinami was no exception to this rule. Sasuke wasn’t like that to say the least. He was honest to the point of being abrasive, cruel even. People avoided Sasuke as much as they flocked to his husband. The dark-haired man couldn’t say this displease him, he remembered just how annoying his days in the academy had been when things had been the opposite way around.
Sasuke did want Chinami to like him though. He’d felt nervous and jittery to some degree since he’d told Naruto he also wanted kids. His gut had moved from housing a butterfly or two to the whole kaleidoscope since actually adopting a kid though. Sasuke didn’t exactly feel like the person who should be around a child. Naruto painted the world around him brightly, wherever you went with him you could see the beauty in the world, like someone had turned up the brightness, Sasuke worried that his cynicism would wear off on the kid should he spend too much time around it.
Still being Hokage was a lot. Turns out running a village isn’t all fun and games and Naruto had never shied away from hard work. After a late night and more bowls of ramen than should be possible Naruto was sound asleep by Sasuke. Sound enough that he hadn’t woken up to the toddlers crying. Sasuke stared at his husband for a moment waiting for Naruto to shift. The blond was always good at comforting people, sweeping into Chinami’s room to sooth her as if he could bend the entire world at his will to make it a safe place for her. Right now, though Naruto was snoring into his pillow, his mouth open in a small o. Sasuke thought about waking him up but he knew that he had agreed to do this with Naruto, he was as much Chinami’s father as his husband. Sasuke felt like someone had shoved their hand down his throat and were twisting his guts up as he padded out of his room. Don’t fuck this up. He told himself, though he wasn’t quite sure what exactly he thought he could do so wrong to ruin Chinami’s life in one night.
Upon seeing one of her father’s around the corner into her room Chinami’s wails instantly decreased in noise, tears still ran from her face as she stretched her hands out to Sasuke, opening and closing her chubby fist.
“Hey now little one,” Sasuke reached down to grab her, supporting her butt with one hand he leaned her against him, letting her bury her head against his chest, wiping her snotty nose on his shirt. He rubbed at her back soothingly, “It’s okay little one.” He promised her even though he wasn’t sure it was. She clutched onto his shirt, forming fists in the loose fabric and Sasuke realised she wasn’t going to allow herself to be put back to bed anytime soon.
Naruto woke up to an empty bed. Panic hit him for half a second as all the worst-case scenarios filled is mind. He jumped out of bed trying not to imagine scenes of his husband and child’s decapitated bodies. Upon entering Chinami’s room, he was greeted with the sight of his sleeping husband on the rocking chair, Chinami sprawled across his chest, also asleep. Naruto felt as if his heart would explode as he watched the two people in his life whom he loved more than anything.
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“Daddy!” was all the warning Naruto got before the full force of a toddler running at flat out speed collided with his leg, wrapping him in hug.
“What is this?” Naruto asked, staring down at the Chinami, “There appears to be some kind of,” he picked up his leg and gave it a gentle shake, “gremlin attached to me.” He began to walk forward, swinging his left leg out wide, much to the toddler’s delight.
Sasuke watched from the door way, a small spike of jealously that she had instantly run to Naruto, but the jealousy was crowded out with how adorable the two were. “Papa!” She yelled at him, her tiny voice commanding, “Help me take down the giant!”
Sasuke’s mouth twitched up, “Oh I’m afraid the giant is too hideous for me to even look at.” He threw a hand over his eyes dramatically throwing his head back.
“Hey!” Naruto yelled, “You better watch your mouth or I’ll eat you friend right up!” He bent down and grabbed Chinami, swinging her into the air, “Nom nom nom,” He said mouthing at her head.
“Nooooo.” Chinami yelled between giggles, “Save me!”
Sasuke stepped forward, grabbing Chinami from his husband, he held the toddler to his chest for a second, “On the count of three?” he asked.
Chinami nodded, mustering all her serious toddler might.
Sasuke placed her on the ground, hovering his hands by her shoulder to make sure she stood steadily on her feet before beginning to count. “One!” Chinami joined in the count down, “Two, three!” They yelled before charging at Naruto.
The blond flopped dramatically onto the ground as Chinami collided with his leg, “Oh no, I’ve been killed, killed I say!”
The lines eliciting giggles from the delighted toddler, and a laugh from Iruka who had moved into the doorway to watch the scene. “Truly the best the Leaf has to offer.”
Naruto smiled, sitting up, “Thanks for coming over tonight.”
Iruka shook his head, “You know I wouldn’t forgo spending time with this munchkin,” Chinami had ran over to Iruka tugging eagerly at his shirt, as the man ruffled her hair “for the world.”
“Grandpa Iruka, Grandpa Iruka, I want to show them what I made!”
Iruka grinned, he’d initially complained to Naruto about the nickname, It makes me feel like an old man which had earned him the response of you are an old man but coming from the toddler he couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection to her. “Okay then.” He gestured at Naruto and Sasuke to follow them into the lounge room, Chinami running ahead of the group.
“I made you necklaces!” She declared. “This one’s for you!” She handed Sasuke a string threaded with pasta shells died black and purple alternatively and tied up with a pretty bow that Sasuke was sure Iruka had helped her with.
Sasuke’s heart melted, “It’s beautiful.” He told her, draping it around his neck.
“And this one’s for you!” She ran over to Naruto handing him a similarly designed pasta necklace but the shells were all painted a brilliant orange.
If the visiting dignitaries from the Village Hidden in the Mist noticed the Leaf Hokage’s colourful adornment the next day they didn’t say anything.
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“Do you have your lunch?” Naruto asked.
“Your pencils?” Sasuke questioned.
“Scrolls?”
“Just in case snacks?”
Chinami rolled her eyes at her fathers. “I’ll be fine.”
Sasuke pressed his lips together and offered a firm nod, “I’m sure you will.”
Naruto squatted down to Chinami’s height and opened his arms, she moved into the embrace with only a quick eye roll. “I’ll see you guys in the afternoon.” She told them pulling out of Naruto’s arms.
The pair stood hand in hand watching her walk away, Sasuke squeezed his husband’s hand, “Chinami will be fine.” Sasuke said as much to reassure himself as Naruto.
“I know she will.”
Naruto’s confidence didn’t last particular long, he flicked a pen back and forth between his forefinger and middle finger, Sakura had broken down the document for him so all he really needed to do was follow the helpfully placed sign here stickers. Still he couldn’t help his mind from wondering to Chinami.
He glanced at the clock on the wall, nearly lunch. He glanced around the room, before standing up from his desk and tiptoeing to the door.
“Have you finished signing off on those reports?” Sakura called from someone in the house.
Damnit. “I’m going to go and grab some lunch! See you in a bit!” And with that he took off sprinting out the door before Sakura could catch him.
He found himself at the Academy, a container of fresh ramen he’d grabbed from Ichiraku Ramen, a few moments before the kids were let out of class.
“What are you doing here?” Naruto jumped guiltily turning to see his husband behind him.
“What are you doing here?” He countered.
Sasuke held up a bento box, “I thought she may have forgot her lunch.”
Naruto did the same with the ramen container, “Same.”
Sasuke sighed, “She definitely has her lunch with her.” They’d check about eight times this morning.
Naruto nodded, shoulders slumping, “Yeah.”
A bell sounded and Naruto felt the wind being knocked out of him as he landed flat on his back under Sasuke. “What the he-“
“Shhhh,” Sasuke whispered, “She’ll hear us.”
Naruto groaned as he sat up from behind the bush Sasuke had shoved them into.
Chinami walked past them, a gaggle of other kids following her, “My dads’ taught me how to punch a rock in half it’ll be a piece of cake!” She declared.
One of the boys looked sceptical, “It’s a really big boulder.”
“Her dad’s the Hokage,” another girl asserted as though that meant that her punching skills were never in question.
The group stopped behind a rock that was nearly the size of the children themselves, forming a semi-circle around Chinami as she stared the rock down.
She grinned at the rock, “This is nothing.” She told the group of onlookers.
Sasuke and Naruto turned to each other, “The rocks we showed her this on were much smaller.”
“I know.” Naruto replied, he looked as enthralled in the show as the kids did.
Chinami began to move her hands in quick succession, Sasuke nodded appraisingly at her near perfect jutsu formations, before pushing her palms against the rock, it shook violently for a second before splitting in two. The crack of the boulder was met with the cheers of the gang of kids, several running up to hug Chinami as they whooped at her success.
Naruto’s mouth was open in a huge grin, Sasuke nudged him, nodding his head away from the group of kids, they used the commotion to sneak out of the school’s grounds.
The two found themselves huddled on a bench in a park a couple of blocks over eating their respective lunches, “I think she’s going to be okay.”
“She already has more friends than we did by the end of it.” Sasuke hummed.
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Naruto bent down to Chinami’s height placing his hands on her shoulders, “You know I love you more than anything no matter what, right?”
“Yes Dad,” Chinami said sarcastically.
Naruto stuck out his lower lip in a pout.
“I love you too.” Chinami offered in a slightly more serious tone, Sasuke was pretty sure the pouting was meant to come from the child not the parent but whatever worked.
Still the pair had been at this for ages, “I love you both, and your both going to be late if you don’t leave!” He grabbed Naruto’s shoulder and steered him towards the door, Chinami followed, looking keen to escape to school for the day. Chinami was bringing home her first report card today and Naruto was about a hundred times more nervous than she was.
The three had agreed to meet at Ichiraku’s after Chinami’s day at school, though they were unsure if the dinner was going to be a condolence dinner or a celebration one.
“Naruto calm down.” Sasuke watched as his husband paced back and forth, he considered ordering a bowl of ramen before Chinami arrived just so the blond would sit down, lord knows Naruto would happily eat another one once she got here.
“I just don’t want her to feel bad.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes, “She’s doing fine in school, I’m sure her grades reflect that.”
Naruto sighed, flopping dramatically onto the bar stool next to Sasuke.
Teuchi dropped a bowl of noodles in front of Naruto, “On the house if you stop pacing, you’re scaring off customers.” Teuchi’s face then softened, “And I’m sure Chinami will be fine, she has you two.”
Naruto smiled at him around a mouthful of noodles, “Thanks Teuchi.”
“Ah and here’s the lady of the hour!”
Chinami had spent most of her youth getting her meals at Ichiraku’s and greeted Teuchi with a similar familiarity. She climbed up into the stool sitting herself between her fathers.
“The usual?” Teuchi asked.
Chinami nodded, and he turned his attention to Sasuke. “The Cha-shu ramen please.”
Teuchi disappeared into the kitchen and Sasuke and Naruto turned their attention to focus on their child, neither actually saying anything.
She rolled her eyes at their antics, and pulled out her report card.
“Oh, you take after your Papa!” Naruto exclaimed, his delight earning another eye roll from Chinami and a “that’s not how genetics work” from Sasuke.
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Naruto chopped the carrots into thin slices, his cooking really hadn’t developed much past ramen despite Sasuke’s many varied attempts to teach him to make literally anything else, still Naruto was able to cut up what his husband put in front of him.
Sasuke meanwhile dug through their spice cupboard, he swore it had been in order as of last week.
Chinami wondered into the kitchen, snagging a handful of sliced carrots.
“Couldn’t you eat the non-sliced ones?” Naruto exclaimed watching his hard work disappear before his eyes.
“Not the same.” She grinned around a mouthful of carrot.
“Aha!” Sasuke exclaimed righting himself from his bent over position pulling the paprika out from the cupboard, “So you’re graduating next week.” The man smiled at his daughter, reaching out to ruffle her hair, she ducked away from the hand quickly, grabbing another handful of carrots much to Naruto’s dismay.
“So, is there a team you’re looking forward to being put in?” The blond asked grabbing some more carrots out of the fridge to cut up, least Sasuke’s stir fry not end up with any. “A certain boy?” Naruto turned to his daughter a teasing smile on his face.
“Or girl?” Sasuke joined the questioning.
“Or otherwise gendered person?” Naruto gestured with a carrot.
Chinami rolled her eyes, “Oh my god I’m not interested in anyone that way.” She took another handful of carrots, this time purely out of spite which she hoped was conveyed through to her fathers.
“You know your father and I shared our first kiss just before graduation.” Naruto began, looking lovingly over to his husband who imitated their daughter’s eye roll.
“Yeah Auntie Sakura told me about that.”
Sasuke started to laugh, “There goes any chance of you seeming romantic and suave.”
“Hey!” Naruto snapped, “This makes you look just as bad as me!”
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Sasuke stared at Naruto. Naruto seemed oblivious to this attention. Sasuke stared harder, hoping that his eyes would be able to bore through Naruto’s skull if he focused hard enough.
“Are you really okay with her becoming a ninja?” Sasuke finally gave up on getting a response via telepathy.
“Huh?” Naruto turned away from the table top game he’d been playing.
Sasuke clenched his jaw, waiting for Naruto to say something a bit more insightful.
“I mean, yes?” The thought that Chinami may become something other than a ninja hadn’t really crossed his mind.
“So, your fine with sending our daughter on a death mission?” Sasuke snapped.
“Whoa,” Naruto stood up and moved to grab Sasuke’s shoulder, the darker haired man jerked away from him. “You want to talk about this?”
“Clearly.”
Naruto waited for him to continue.
“You know as well as I do what becoming a ninja does to one’s life expectancy.” Sasuke began, his words measured.
Naruto nodded, returning to his seat, he gestured that Sasuke join him.
Sasuke took the seat opposite him even though he’d much rather be pacing the room, it wasn’t often Naruto played the calm and collected one.
“I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.”
Sasuke snorted derisively, “Pretty sure you swore an oath to put the village first.”
Naruto sighed, “I know, bu-“
“-you’re happy to just let her die, like my parents, like your parents, like hers?” Sasuke could have spent hours listing the deaths that still haunted him, still made it hard to sleep at night.
“The village isn’t what it used to be Sasuke.”
“Four people died in the last month alone!” Sasuke yelled, alarmed to find his voice dangerously close to tears.
Naruto moved to grab his husband’s hand but Sasuke just jerked away from the contact, folding his arms across himself. He’d never envisioned a future like this, where he felt safe most of the time, with people he loved who loved him back. He couldn’t believe that Naruto would so carelessly move to throw that away.
Naruto paused chewing his lip, trying to focus on not barging in with the first thing he thought. His whole life had been about wanting to be a ninja, training to be the best, to become Hokage. It was through this that he had found friends, a family, a place he could belong. It felt foreign to reframe his perspective to see all the death and destruction even if he had been as much party to that as anyone else. “It’s really her decision, Sasuke.”
Sasuke knew Naruto was right, but what are you meant to say to a kid like Chinami? Her dad was the Hokage for god’s sake. Sure, most kids didn’t have any idea what being a ninja entailed. They hardly put the nightmares, the guilt of forgetting the names of all the people you’d seen die when there were just too many to be able to recount, on the job description. Chinami, however, didn’t even have the basest understanding. The ANBU sent whispers through classrooms, kids told tales of their ferocity and the threat they posed in battle, Chinami had found their masks delightful and knew them as people who would sometimes drop by the Academy with a forgotten lunch. Wars waged against the village, injuries sustained, her Papa’s missing arm well these were great battles, after all the reality wasn’t exactly child friendly.
“I don’t want to lose her Naruto.”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t promise me that.”
Naruto sighed, leaning in to Sasuke he pressed his forehead against his husband, “You’re right.”
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“Honey, are you sure you want to become a ninja?” Sasuke asked, the three sat in the lounge room, Sasuke and Naruto on the lounge with Chinami sitting opposite them.
“It’s kind of what I’ve been training for the past few years.” She narrowed her eyes, this seemed an awfully strange topic to call a family meeting for, she’d been hoping for something more along the lines of getting a dog.
Sasuke closed his eyes and took a calming breath, this was her decision, he couldn’t just tell her what she could and couldn’t do. “You know there are other options, right?”
Chinami shrugged, “I’m good at ninja stuff Papa.”
He nodded, casting a glance at Naruto who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the exchange.
“I just want you to be aware of what you’re getting into before you make any big decisions.” Big decisions. Christ, she was only twelve. Had he really been that young when he graduated? Sasuke remembered feeling like he had the world figured out and the weight of it resting on his shoulders.
Chinami waited for him to continue, Naruto still didn’t interfere.
“You know your Dad and I love you so, so much?”
Chinami rolled her eyes, but followed with, “I love you guys too.”
“And you know that we wouldn’t change anything for the world?”
Chinami nodded, hoping Sasuke would get to the point soon.
“And that you were adopted?”
“I didn’t realise we were having the where do babies come from talk.”
Naruto nearly choked.
Sasuke glared at him. “More along the lines of why you were adopted.”
“Your parents died defending the Leaf.” Naruto finally spoke up. “Being a ninja is…. it’s not without risks, Chinami.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?” Chinami asked.
“What? No.” Sasuke spoke at same time as Naruto’s indignant “Of course not!”
“I know my parents died, I assumed it was in battle. It doesn’t change anything.”
Sasuke inhaled through his nose, turning his gaze to the ceiling, blinking once slowly as he willed himself to not start crying. “Just think about it okay?”
Chinami nodded but didn’t look too convinced by their conversation, “Hey while we’re having a family meeting can we talk about getting a do-“
“Yes!” Naruto yelled as Sasuke offered a firm, “No.”
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Sasuke gripped Naruto’s hand a little harder than was pleasant as he watched Chinami tie her headband on. The Leaf symbol adorning her face didn’t overshadow the grin on it. Sasuke forced himself to smile back at her as he relinquished his hand to allow Naruto to clap for their daughter. He waved at her, and she waved back looking as if the world was hers to conquer; Sasuke hoped it would be. She moved off the platform to join the rest of her classmates as the next student was called to the stage. Sasuke let his smile drop for the time being.
He had to have trust in the Hokage to look after her now.