Back in Konoha
Everything was gray, dull and dreary. A deep tiredness had settled into the body, weighing heavily on the shoulders and bringing with it an exhaustion not even sleep could cure. He had failed, again. Innocent blood clung to his hands again, though not literally. But that didn't make it any better. Never again would he see her innocent smile, look into her unclouded, naive eyes and watch how she and Naruto got upset about his late appearance. Once again, he had fucked up, but what could he have done. She wasn't made for life as a ninja, too sensitive, too soft and clearly not fixated enough on getting better. She had no place in shinobi life, but Sakura didn't deserve this kind of death either. He had hoped she would realize it herself, leave the program or join the Genincorps, but all she had focused on was the Uchiha on her team. And she was considered smart. Kakashi suppressed a heavy sigh.
"I don't get it." He heard the loud voice of Naruto and Kakashi had to pull himself together not to distort his face. "Why do we return without Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei? We should`ve looked for her as soon as Gato and his men left! What if she washed up somewhere and is waiting for us! We can't just leave her behind. Dattebayo!" For a moment, Kakashi closed his eyes. How could he explain to Naruto that a search wouldn't make sense? He was so tired.
"Shut up, Dobe." Grumbled Sasuke annoyed but did not look at his blond team member instead starred, his hands buried in his pockets, at the street in front of him.
"What's that supposed to mean, Teme?! You can't be so cold-hearted that you don't care what happens to Sakura-chan! You weren't there when she... when she..." He heard a sniff and another one, which made him grimace inside. True, he wasn't conscious when the thing with Sakura happened, but what he had learned left a bland taste in his mouth. Why had Sakura put herself in front of Tazuna? Totally untypical for the rose-haired girl, and when he thought about it, all her behavior after arriving in Wave wasn't quite like herself. He had been glad when he had his peace from her. No clingy and annoying Sakura to hinder his progress. He had believed she had realised that she was in his way and then Kakashi came with his training session and she had been better! Weak, naive and clingy Sakura Haruno was better than him in one practical part, which didn't sit well with his ego. She wasn't shinobi material, less than Naruto, and yet she had beaten him in something outside of academic theory.
So angry and furious he had been he thought of nothing else but to master the exercise as quickly as possible to continue. Letting someone be better was out of the question for him, not if he wanted to kill HIM.
Uncharacteristically, he had intercepted the attack for Naruto, couldn't bear the thought that the idiot could die because of him, and he had protected him. Sakura, on the other hand... He knew she couldn't defend herself alone. She was too weak, unlike Naruto, who he had to concede certain ninja qualities to. Because he was unconscious, too weak, he had not been able to protect her, like he did with Naruto. No matter how annoying she was, no matter how weak she was, she was his team mate and he had sworn not to let anyone else die. Not if he was there to stop it. What a ninja he was. Not even strong enough to protect his team. It made him furious and unintentionally clenched his hands into fists in his pockets.
"Sakura was too weak, Dobe. Do you all seriously believe she's still alive from the injury she sustained? You're even dumber than I thought." Came the harsh answer from the Uchiha and contrary to his hopes the Chaosninja couldn't resist to annoy him further after his statement.
"How dare you! Sakura-chan isn't weak! She did her best out there." Sasuke interrupted Naruto with a cold snort.
"And as you can see, the best was not good enough. If she had focused more on her training instead of her looks, it might have ended differently. But it is what it is. She was too weak and that's the result of that. Live with it. The village will not invest time in a Genin from a civilian family with no special use." A grunt followed and signaled the end of the conversation from Sasuke's perspective he did not want to talk or think about it any further. All he wanted now was to get home and train to get better. He was not allowed to let such a situation happen again. Not again could he not be strong enough to make a difference. Otherwise he would never get his revenge.
"I'll get the old man to send someone after Sakura-chan! Believe it! She is just as important as everyone else. Just because she's not from a clan doesn't mean she's worth less. I-"
"Naruto." Kakashi's stern but clearly tired voice came out behind them. "Sasuke is right. Hokage-sama has more important things to do than let a team search for a genin who is more than likely not alive anymore. Since Sakura-chan was just a genin and does not come from a clan, there are no secrets her body would have that other nations could extract. Logically, there's no need for a search party." Kakashi breathed heavily again and turned his gaze forward for a short time. Not much longer and they would be in Konoha again. Then he could move back into his four walls. He just wanted to sleep. "Take this as a lesson, Naruto. You may not like everything you are supposed to do in your career as a shinobi, but sometimes you have to deal and live with it. The life of a ninja is far from easy." And was darker than his two remaining Genins could imagine. He just had hoped to shield them from the cruel truth for a while longer. Another reason why he hadn't allowed Naruto to search for Sakura. That she had survived was such a slim chance and he wanted to spare the boys the sight of a water corpse.
If it could be arranged, he wanted to protect them as far as possible from the brutal truth and who could have guessed where the flow had taken Sakura's body. No, he couldn't allow them to search for Sakura. He had already caused enough trouble and he didn't want to know what the Hokage and the council would do to him if he exposed Naruto and the last Uchiha to unnecessary danger. Even though he had some confidence in the abilities of the two boys, he didn't have to overdo it and surely he had to listen to some stuff because he hadn't aborted the mission or asked for reinforcements. And then he also had to bring the news of Sakura's death to her parents. No, Kakashi didn't look ahead optimistically, he just wanted to close his eyes and hope that this was all just a bad nightmare. But he knew better, it wasn't a dream, it was the harsh reality.
Back in Konoha the situation between team 7 was tense. A while ago, they had gone through these gates together with her. Their first mission outside the walls of Konoha. It almost felt like years had passed since that day, even though it was no more than a few weeks ago. Now, now they entered through the gates of Konoha with one team member less. The oppressive atmosphere around them had to be not only palpable but also visible, as the typical grin of the guards present disappeared after they had taken a closer look at the group. Kakashi listlessly raised one arm as a greeting, struggled to make his typical eye-grin appear, but it didn't help. The worried looks of the two Chunin drilled deep into his retina.
Actually, Kakashi wanted to send his two boys to the hospital so that they could get a check-up. However, he knew them enough to know that they wouldn't do so if he wouldn't drag them there by himself. So he had no choice but to take them with him to the Hokage when he reported back.
Sarutobi sat behind his desk as usual, papers spread out in front of him, demanding his attention. A knock saved him from further paperwork. He had no idea what was about to happen.
"Come in" his aged voice crossed the room and a few seconds later he saw Team 7 returning, which at first left a joyful smile on his lips. However, it disappeared just as quickly as it had come, when he saw the faces of everyone and realized that instead of four people there were only three in his office. Unhappily, he frowned.
"Team 7 reporting back from their mission. One member KIA, mission accomplished nonetheless. Medical checkup pending." The aloof attitude of Kakashi was familiar to Sarutobi, but the way the Jonin delivered the verbal mission report reminded him of the time when Kakashi was Anbu and of the time after the death of Minato and Kushina. Every emotion was turned off and blunt facts were given. One of the reasons why Hatake was considered one of the perfect shinobis. However, Sarutobi was more worried than ever about this behavior. He had given him a team to become more human, to leave the events of the past behind, but something had happened. And this something had set Kakashi back and apparently traumatized the other two in some way. The missing member - Sakura - was obviously KIA, even if nothing like that should happen on a simple escort mission.
"Report." He finally demanded and registered how all three inevitably tensed up and at first nobody wanted to speak. With a silent, but no less conspicuous sigh, Kakashi began to report. Told of the Demon brothers who had attacked them, of Tazuna's lie because his village couldn't afford to pay more. The run-in with Zabuza and his own unconsciousness due to the overuse of the Sharingan. He reported on the training session in chakra control, the time until everyone had completed the task and finally came to the last fight on the bridge. While Kakashi mainly talked about his fight, Naruto and Sasuke filled the gaps with their own fight and what they had seen. When it became quiet around them, Hiruzen nodded thoughtfully and discontentedly.
"I'm giving Team 7 the next few weeks off regarding the circumstances. Use the time to get your thoughts in order, think about what you want next. But first of all, go to the hospital and get checked out. For your report you have until the end of the week. You' re dismissed." With these words he was about to turn to the papers when he heard Naruto's voice.
"Do you send someone to look for her, old man?" The arising hope in the blond's eyes was almost too much for Sarutobi's old heart. He shook his head mildly as he extinguished it with a single sentence.
"No, Naruto. I won't send a team to look for her. We don't have the resources or time for that."
The first days after their return nobody had really been seen on the streets of Konoha. Naruto had holed himself up in his apartment. Not even Ramen could lure him out, much to Iruka's concern. Even Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, had retreated to the former private training grounds of the Uchihas and trained from dawn to dusk, sometimes falling asleep in the middle of the field from exhaustion. How he woke up in his own apartment in the morning was a mystery to him.
Kakashi had gone to his apartment after talking to Sarutobi and had not even bothered to get rid of his clothes. Instead, he had taken off his shoes, his luggage, aka scroll, thrown into a corner and had fallen onto his bed. The sleep that overcame him, however, was not restful or refreshing. His dreams were chaotic, blurred and dark. He relived all his failures and the next time he opened his eyes, he felt even more exhausted than before. But he could not hide himself away. Sakura's parents had to be informed and he had Naruto and Sasuke to keep an eye on. He could only guess what must be going on inside those two boys.
As expected, Sakura's parents did not take the news of their daughter's death well. The woman broke down in tears still in the front door. Her husband, on the other hand, kept his composure better and tried to give his wife the necessary comfort, but he too was shaken. Kakashi saw exactly the sadness in his eyes when their eyes met. When asked how this could happen on a 'simple' C-Rang mission, he could not and was not allowed to say too much. Much to the annoyance of Sakura's mother, who took her grief and frustration out on Kakashi for letting her little girl die. If he wouldn't have hidden his facial expressions under his mask and had them under control so well, a painful expression would have scurried across his features. He could imagine that Mrs. Haruno had thrown these things at his head in her grief, but for Kakashi they were still true. So he disappeared as soon as the door was slammed in his face.
A month had passed after Team 7 had returned from their unfortunate mission and slowly normality was returning. After their forced break, the two boys had realized that they didn't want to give up under any circumstances. The first training sessions without Sakura had been devastating and the usual fights between Naruto and Sasuke had to be put off. However, this did not last long. After they all got used to the fact that Sakura's cheerful voice and her happy person were missing, both boys fell back into old patterns, only Kakashi had no idea how to deal with it. After all, it had always been Sakura who had kept the two in check before. Or rather, she had been scolding Naruto and fangirled about Sasuke, but it had always led to the end of the arguments. They even started eating again after training or D-Rang missions at Ichiraku and it was just such a day when they met the team of Asuma.
"Sasuke-kun!" they heard Ino's loud and somewhat pitched voice before she threw herself around the Uchihas neck. "I heard you had your first mission outside of Konoha. How was it? Simple, for sure. I mean with Sasuke-kun on the team, nothing can go wrong. Where's Forehead?" Ino was blind to the stiff posture of those present when she addressed the Wavemission and Sakura. However, it did not escape her notice that her former childhood friend and rival was not around. She would have told her long ago to stay away from Sasuke-kun.
"She's not here." came the harsh answer from Sasuke, at the same time freeing himself from Inos' embrace.
"I see that, but where is she? She would never miss the opportunity to have dinner with you."
"Like Teme said, she's not here and she never will be." Astonished at the vulnerability in Naruto's voice, Ino turned her attention briefly to the blond before turning it back to Sasuke.
"Has she finally realized she's not a ninja and given up on her career?" How was Ino to know that wasn't the case? A mumbled "Troublesome" made her turn her head to her team. What did Shikamaru mean now?
"They mean Sakura's dead Ino. That's why she's not here. What a drag." Stunned, the blonde first stared at her team member and then slowly wandered over to the rest of Team 7, the faces she saw almost taking her breath away and before she even realized it, tears were running down her cheeks. This could only be a bad joke.
"What... How? Since when?" she brought out in a broken voice, but was hardly ever really present to record an answer. The atmosphere was too serious for it to be a bad joke. Why hadn't she heard about it? She needed answers and then, then, then she would visit Sakura's parents and apologize. For everything she wouldn't come to now. It hurt so much.
After the meeting it didn't take long until everyone from their age group knew that Sakura Haruno had died in a miscalculated mission. Only those who knew young Haruno were seriously shocked by the news. All others shrugged their shoulders and went about their daily lives without thinking about it. Only slowly did those affected return to a normal life, but they had all resolved not to forget the rose-haired girl. After all, she had been a friend, a daughter, a student and a ninja Konohas who had sacrificed herself for the good of the mission.
They had no idea that the same Kunoichi was alive in the land of water and was working every day to become better. Even less did they suspect that she had to struggle with the consequences of being left behind and had to fight with her own demons. The girl who had left Konoha disappeared more and more with each passing day and nobody knew about it. It would be quite a while before their paths would cross again. Whether they would recognize Sakura then was another matter entirely.