Care]”
Steven woke feeling more tired than when he had gone to sleep. His nightmares weren’t any worse than usual, but they were annoyingly consistent.
He sighed, setting his hand on his shirt where his gem lay, as if to reassure himself that it was still there.
He had a passing half-awake thought wondering why Pearl wasn’t watching him sleep. He had asked her not to, but sometimes he caught her doing so anyway when she was particularly worried.
And why wouldn’t she be, when just a week ago he told them that his gem had been violently ripped from his body?
The thought made him shudder.
His body began to catch up with his mind, and he felt a tingling in his arms and legs as he slowly completely woke up.
As he sat up, he heard murmured voices coming from downstairs. He gently used his floating powers to get out of bed without being heard, and he stood behind the corner of the stairs for a few moments.
He knew that there was no doubt if Garnet was there she knew he was awake and listening, but he just wanted to understand what was going on that would lead them all to be talking.
. . .
It was the strangest thing to know the pain of shattering, yet crave it.
Emerald sighed, slouching from where she sat on the couch by the stairs.
She couldn’t help but wonder if the screaming of shattering was better than the weighted quiet that had taken over the room all of the sudden. She supposed that the things that mattered were the effects on everyone else.
If her being out of their lives was happier for them, then maybe her pain would be worth that.
But just thinking about her fragmented existence made her shudder, and Pearl held her a bit closer from where she had an arm around her waist. Emerald had let her indulge in holding her like this, mainly because it seemed to make Pearl feel better, if not herself.
“… I’m alright. ” She said quietly, though not one of them seemed to believe her.
There were a few moments of silence, before someone spoke. “… Emerald ?”
The gems looked up, seeing Steven standing on the stairs, still in his pajamas with his hand resting on the wall.
“… Steven .” She suddenly felt that she had to look away, and she couldn’t understand why just seeing him made her suddenly want to crumble to pieces again.
Maybe it was the worried look in his wide eyes that told her there was nothing she could say that could evermake him see her as whole again, or maybe it was the way his knowing quiet added to everyone else’s, feeling like a physical weight pulling on her chest.
It felt like merely a moment before Steven ran down the stairs, before holding her tight in a hug and burying his face in her aching chest as she sat frozen.
She didn’t see Amethyst move slightly to get up and tell Steven that she probably wasn’t in the mood for hugs, and she didn’t see Garnet catch Amethyst’s arm to stop her.
There was a moment of completely frozen quiet before Steven spoke again.
“… I missed you. ” He whispered, and Emerald fully crumbled. Hot tears trailed down her cheeks out of seemingly nowhere, and somehow she found the strength to put her arms around him in turn.
I’m sorry. She wanted to say, because she couldn’t understand why a wonderful and smart child like Steven would miss something as broken and lost as herself.
I’m so sorry. She wanted to say, because the same was true for everyone else, and yet here they all were.
It didn’t make a bit of sense.
Pearl reached over from where she had moved away, putting her arm around her again. Garnet and Amethyst drifted over, joining them as well.
Amethyst leaned against her side, holding her arm. Garnet reached over her, setting a hand on her shoulder and rubbing it soothingly with her thumb.
Emerald knew that Steven and Amethyst were crying, she was crying, and now everyone must be crying.
She felt surrounded, but not out of fear.
It didn’t make any sense, but she felt surrounded by nothing but…
…care .