The Five Ws
I woke up as if I was already awake. Given that I was apparently sitting in a meeting, I guess I was. A woman dressed in a lab coat was speaking to the rest of the table who… okay who are these people and why is there so much spandex. Wait, scratch that, who am I?!
Path to knowing who you are: 1 step
What.
Step 1: Think ‘I am Fortuna. My Cape name is Contessa. I am one of the acting members of Cauldron and one of the most powerful capes currently alive.’
WHAT.
Path Completed.
No, no, no, you get back here, voice in my head. Who are you?
Path to knowing what the voice in your head is: 1 step
Step 1: Think ‘The voice is called Path to Victory. It is an All or Nothing precognitive power allowing me to create a Path to any result I desire, given enough steps.’
Path Completed.
Oh so you’re like a personal assistant living in my head. Except you can also see the future, which makes you better at your job. Neat. Then I blinked, processing its other answer. Wait, go back, what’s a Cape and what's a Cauldron?
Path to knowing what Capes and Cauldron are: 2 steps
Wait, 2 steps this time?
Step 1: Think ‘A Cape is a person who is currently receiving powers from a Shard, also known as a Parahuman.’
Ah, so that’s how this works.
Step 2: Think ‘Cauldron is a secret organization formed with the overall goal of ensuring humanity’s survival in their attempt to kill Scion.’
Path Completed.
Ooooookay, a few of those names sound like rabbit holes I don’t have time to get into right now, so I’m just gonna ignore them and hope I remember them later. Sorry future me, this is your problem. Speaking of problems, actually… I looked around again at the people assembled at the table. There were 2 men and 1 woman in skin tight costumes ( That just CAN’T be comfortable ), another man wearing a rather bland suit ( Oooooh, shiny buttons ), and the aforementioned woman in a doctor’s coat, wearing a knee length white dress ( Are you really a doctor though? ). Only now that I was paying attention did I notice she was still talking about…something.
“...and finally, the case-53s are being distributed as usual. Are there any other pressing issues at the moment?” the maybe-not-a-doctor asked as… Oh shit they’re all looking at me. Path to Victory! If you want to help me get out of this, now would be the time!
Path to getting out of this: 5 steps
Oh thank fuck.
Step 1: Say “There are no interruptions in the Path at the moment.”
…Wait do I literally have to -and suddenly I lost control of my body. My face remained serene and relaxed as I parroted what my power told me to.
Step 2: Nod to the man in the suit and stand up.
As I did so, the man nodded back with a flat expression. I don’t know what that means, my guy. Also, this is pretty weird.
Step 3: Say “There are other steps I must complete now.”
Again, I repeated the words of my power. I mean, that’s technically not a lie.
Step 4: Say “Door to Fairmont Copley Plaza, Boston.”
Wait what. A golden ringed portal opened up in front of me, revealing the roof of a fancy looking hotel. Nevermind, this is cool actually.
Step 5: Walk through the portal.
I did, still being puppeteered by my power. As soon as I was through, the portal closed.
Path Completed.
Okay, what, and I cannot stress this enough, the FUCK is even happening right now?!
…
…
Nothing? Eh, too vague I guess. Okay, more specific this time. Hey Path, could you help me get my bearings?
Path to getting your bearings: 28 steps
…Well fuck, that’s more than usual.
Later…
I have achieved something great. The greatest achievement of my life so far. I, Fortuna Contessa No-Last-Name, have successfully bought a croissant. At a bakery. In France. It’s a damn good croissant. As I was munching on my (absolutely delicious) croissant, I started reading a newspaper called ‘The Brockton Bay Gazette,’ while sitting at a coffee shop in the similarly named city. It was cool Tuesday morning on March 8th, 2011 apparently. I was in Brocton Bay, Massachusetts, one of the 50 states in the good old US of A ( Apparently that’s a saying around here ).
Alright Fortuna, time to figure some things out. 5 w’s. I've got the who (me), the what (Path), the when and the where. Now let's figure out the why. Why am I here? I looked into the sky, remembering the meeting, the too tight costumes, and the serious atmosphere. I guess the answer to that would be Cauldron. Contessa is here to help Cauldron on some sort of Path. If I had to guess, I’d say they had me running a Path to kill this Scion guy. I sipped my coffee. I could ask my ever-present helper here, but I think I want to decide this for myself. Contessa was an agent of Cauldron. What does Fortuna want to do?
I contemplated for a moment, trying to think of things to do. Well, if dedicating your life to some shadowy organization dedicated to murder is anything to go by, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Contessa was a pretty bad person. Maybe. Probably hurt a lot of people. Anyway, if I did something bad before, then logically, I should do something good now! I looked around the coffee shop, eyes settling on a blond girl sipping her coffee with a grim expression. Hello, random citizen! I have selected you for involuntary helping! Path, do your thing!
Path to helping Lisa Wilbourn (Sarah Livsey): 54 steps
…This is gonna take a while isn’t it.
Lisa was having a rough day. Coil was being more pushy than usual, stressing how the casino job was ‘a thing of high importance’ like the slimy bastard he was. I’d like to see him try and get out in the field for once. Maybe I’ll even get lucky and someone would put a bullet between his eyes. Lisa sighed into her empty coffee cup in tired resignation. Like that’ll ever happen. Still, a girl can dream. She was still tracing the edges of her table with her finger when someone sat in front of her. “Brian, you’re…you’re not Brian.” She said to the woman in a black suit and fedora as she made herself comfortable.
“No, I’m not Brian.” said the woman with impeccable calm. Instantly suspicious, Lisa turned her power on the woman.
Knows she’s interrupting a meeting. Doesn’t care. Knows the meeting was related to criminal activity. Knows you are Tattletale. Doesn’t care. Knows you have a gun In the bag next to you. Know it is within arm’s reach. Doesn’t care. Knows you are reading her. Doesn’t care. Parahuman. Hero? Affiliation Unknown. Heroic disposition. Wants to do what she believes is right. Believes that helping others is the right thing to do. Bored. Wanted entertainment. Lisa was chosen randomly. Extremely nonchalant. Arrogant? Confident she could handle you in a fight. Is likely correct. Extremely confident. Extremely powerful.
Just my damn luck. Lisa thought with a grimace. I run into a bored bullshit cape while I’m supposed to be preparing. Dammit, will anything on this day go right?
“I wouldn’t say everything has gone wrong just yet.” The woman responded to her thoughts as if she had spoken aloud. “In fact, I’m probably the best thing that will ever happen to you.”
“Don’t do that!” Lisa hissed quietly “Who even are you anyway?! And where’s Brian?!”
The woman rested her chin on the palm of her hands, elbows on the table. “I’m the only woman capable of fixing your biggest issues just because I felt like it.” she smiled. “And Brian should walk in at about 3...2...1…now.”
True to her word, Brian walked into the coffee shop at that exact moment, looking around before spotting Lisa and her uninvited guest. Confused. Expected you to be alone. Expected this to be a solo meeting. Does not recognize the woman. Is worried that something has gone wrong. Oh Brian, you don’t know the half of it. As he walked over, Lisa whispered “Thinker.”
“Oh?” the woman tilted her head, still smiling. “What gave me away?”
“You mean aside from the grandstanding about how cool you are, the fact you clearly know I’m reading you, and the confidence that you know what I’m gonna say before you say it?” Lisa snarked. “The door is behind you, and you never even looked to see how close Brian was. Now what do you want?”
“So impatient.” The woman huffed with faux offence as Brian reached the table. “Can’t you at least let your dear leader sit down first?” Brian stuttered to a stop hearing that, eyes blown wide in surprise and fear.
“No, no, sit.” The woman said as she motioned to a chair next to Lisa. “We have things to discuss.” After he glanced toward Lisa, who nodded her head towards the chair, he sighed and sat down, glaring warily. As he opened his mouth to say something, the woman interrupted him. “Yes, I know who you are, and no, I don’t plan on doing anything about it.” she said as she leaned back. "And to answer your question Lisa, I’m going to deal with your snake problem, and in return, I want you to do something for me.”
“Snake problem?” Brian asked heatedly. Angry he doesn’t understand. Angry that his identity has been exposed. Will yell at you later.Great. Just lovely.
“What makes you think, I’ll do anything for you?” Lisa challenged. “Especially since you decided to threaten us out in the open like this.”
“There are 3 things you misunderstand, Lisa.” The woman said as she held up 3 fingers. “First, I’m not doing this for you. I’m dealing with that snake for other reasons entirely. Other reasons you don’t need to know.” She put one finger down. “Second, I’m not threatening you. I’m giving you an out. When Coil goes down, he doesn’t plan to go quietly. Your beloved boss has so much information on the capes of this city, from names, to faces, to occupations, to what food they prefer on Sunday brunch. The gang war that would sprout up from the fallout of releasing that info would be legendary. And of course, in absence of a proper scapegoat, he’ll pin the blame on you out of spite.” The woman chuckled as she put another finger down. “Some leader he turned out to be.”
“Wait, hold on, you can’t just talk about this out here!” Brian hissed in a panic.
“Do let me finish, Grue.” The woman frowned and crossed her arms. “It’s rude to interrupt. Besides, no one can hear us anyway.”
Lisa quickly glanced at the surrounding tables, only to find they were distracted by a crowd near the bathrooms, gossiping about an exploded toilet bowl as staff rushed in and out. No one heard. Mysterious woman is telling the truth. Mysterious woman predicted this. Mysterious woman PLANNED this. Mysterious woman EXTREMELY meticulous. Mysterious woman knows you are reading her. Is smug.
“As I was saying,” She continued with a smile, “Lastly, all I request of you is a favor to call in at my leisure. I promise it will not be morally strenuous, physically debilitating, or out of your means.” The woman held up a folded slip of paper. “In return I will give you all of Coil’s bank accounts, including the offshore ones you didn’t know about.”
Lisa greedily eyed the paper, then snapped her gaze back to the woman. “And if I refuse to do you a favor?” she questioned.
The woman shrugged. “Then you don’t do me a favor, and I’ve wasted a few hundred million dollars. However,” She leaned forward with a cruel smile on her face. “Once I’m done with him, you won’t want to refuse.”
Smile fading, the woman stood to leave, placing the paper in front of a confused Lisa and a flabbergasted Brian. “I’ll find you when I need to cash in that favor. Don’t bother looking for me, you won’t find me.” She said as she walked away into the crowd of people returning from the bathroom spectacle and disappeared. Mystified by the entire meeting, Lisa slowly unfolded the paper. Written in it were many, many bank account and routing numbers, and the passwords to go along with them. Finally, in neat cursive at the bottom of the page was a note. ‘By the way, you can call me Nike. Have fun parsing that name, Tattletale.’ Lisa and Brian stared at it in stunned silence.
Quietly, Brian asked, “What just happened?”
“I think we're out of a job,” Lisa answered carefully, a familiar vulpine smirk slowly appearing. “And also very, very rich now.”
“Isn’t this what they call a ‘deal with the devil?’” Brian said.
Smiling full force now, Lisa replied cheerfully, “As long as I’m rich on Coil’s money, and that bastard eats shit something fierce, I can’t bring myself to care who the deal was with.”
I think that went well. I thought as I sat in Italy eating strawberry gelato. It was a lot more involved than I thought it would be, though. Letting my body get piloted by my power is a feeling I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. At the same time though, it was incredibly useful.
I ate another spoonful of gelato. By letting the Path guide my actions, speech, and even microexpressions, I could make Lisa’s power believe whatever I wanted it to believe.
I reminisced about what had transpired 30 minutes ago, and suppressed an ugly snort of laughter. Also, the ideas the Path would come up with were just bonkers. Like, blowing up a toilet? Who knew that sodium metal reacts violently with water? Not me, that’s for sure. I still don’t even know what sodium metal is.
All of a sudden, my expression turned quizzical as a thought occurred to me. Actually, speaking of things I don’t know … Hey Path, who’s Coil and why are the remaining steps in Lisa’s path involving him so…thorough?
Path to understanding Coil’s nature: 2 steps
Step 1: Think ‘Coil is a man named Thomas Calvert. He is a natural born manipulator, more than willing to stab his allies in the back in order to get above them if at all possible. He is extremely paranoid and cautious, often using his precognitive power to see how an action would affect him well before he even considered taking it. He is a client of Cauldron, and their main bid in the Parahuman Feudalism Experiment.
Okay, that’s another point in favor of Cauldron being very bad news.
Step 2: Think ‘Lisa hates Coil not because he is a villain, but because of the methods he uses to get his way, including but not limited to: Torture, Rape, Murder, Forced Drugging, Doping, Political Manipulation, Media Manipulation, and in Lisa’s case, Threats of Grave Bodily Harm and/or Death.’
I dropped the next spoonful of gelato.
Path Completed.
…Path, what happens if Coil gets what he wants?
Path to understanding Coil’s vision: 1 step
Step 1: Think ‘Should Coil proceed unimpeded, he will attempt and succeed in rising to the position of Director of the Brocton Bay PRT ENE as Thomas Calvert. At the same time, as Coil he will take over the business of supplying armaments, drugs, and information to the gangs, effectively taking control of the city in its entirety.’
…
…
Sorry, past me, I know you really wanted to only do objectively good things, but sometimes a girl’s just gotta commit painful bloody murder.
Amending Previous Path ‘to helping Lisa Wilbourn (Sarah Livsey)’
New Goal Set
Path to end Coil’s plans, life, and legacy: 132 steps (64 steps remaining)
Let’s see you plan around this one, you scaly broke-back bitch.