Kindling

“Where is he mother?” Madara asked, watching her closely for clues and shoving down the cold ache growing in his chest (without the false bond covering the pain and manufacturing a sense of closeness the pain was crippling – or it would have been had Madara not been so laser focused on getting back to Tobirama, he had always been stubborn). Konohanasakuya tilted her head and something sly crossed her face as she said “And why do you want to find him so much? You don’t love him, you don’t even know him that well” and Madara was responding with anger before he though, snarling “And who’s fault is that?” and then catching himself and pushing away the frustration, he wasn’t going to blame Tobirama for something that wasn’t the albino’s fault; and it wasn’t Tobirama’s fault that his mind lead him down false paths with the help of Madara’s mistakes, no matter how angry he wanted to be that Tobirama had taken this choice from him. With a deep breath Madara looked at his waiting mother and said, in a much calmer voice “Because he deserves to have someone fight for him. Because we should have been something to each other and he deserves to know that I wouldn’t have turned him away if I was given a chance, because he is hurt and deserves to know I didn’t fucking hate him, because whether he wanted to get rid of it or not we were supposed to mean something to each other so I want to make sure he’s ok, because he’s hurting and I don’t know who else is going to help him. And because I would like a chance to get to know him better, whatever that means”.

Slowly Konohanasakuya smiled and reached out to touch his cheek lightly, her eyes softening, as she murmured “I’m glad, I’m very glad because its not going to be easy to find him. Removing his soulbond splintered his soul and the pain of his life worsened it, when he died his soul shattered into several pieces and you must find the shards before you are going to be able to help him and….you’re right, no one else is looking, I’m sorry Madara but you are his only hope of recovering.” Madara’s heart dropped and he ached for this man it turned out he hardly knew (if only Tobirama had given Madara a chance – but then it must have been difficult to see Madara with Saburo, Madara couldn't imagine what that was like), and his resolve hardened farther, “What do I need to do? How do I find the splinters?” Madara asked and Konohanasakuya nodded, turning back to the mirror as an image of a gleaming owl shaped feather in pearl white and peacock blue bloomed into sight.

“This is what the shards will look like” his mother said “they will be scattered through out the pure lands and possibly his memories, it’s hard to say but given that you still have the resonance of being his soulmate even without the soulbond- for you might not have had the bond but you are still soulmates- you should be able to find them and carry them with you. I can’t say where you will find most of them, but I do know where the first is – it was relatively easy to find.” Madara cocked his head and looked carefully at his mother, “How do you know all of this? and why are you telling me?” Konohanasakuya just laughed brightly, “Oh Madara, I know you. I have watched over you for your whole life and I know your heart and how empty it has been; I knew that you wouldn’t be able to let this go and you would feel the need to go after him and see that he was alright, so like any good mother I made sure you had the tools you needed to make it work and succeed. You are my son, and I would never leave you to fight on your own if I could help.”

Madara swallowed hard, oddly choked up as his sinuses stung and when Konohanasakuya opened her arms Madara didn’t hesitate to go to her as his mother pulled him close and leaned her cheek on his head as he buried his face in her shoulder, murmuring “It’s not your fault, you’re trying to make it right and I am so proud of you for not blaming him for taking your soulmate away from you. I am so proud of you Madara, and he didn’t do it because he doesn’t want you; he wasn’t rejecting you I promise, its not your fault and he doesn’t blame you I’m sure” and the horror of what had happened and his place in it overwhelmed him for a moment as he sobbed dryly and his hands clenched in Konohanasakuya’s ornate chrysanthemum kimono, wrinkling the undoubtedly expensive silk even as his strangled tears stained the fabric (it was a violation, no matter how hard Madara was trying to understand it and how much he knew that Tobirama’s pain had been so much worse. Madara hated to think about how badly Tobirama had hurt, but that didn’t erase Madara’s own pain from the emptiness that filled his days and the numb ache in his chest all while he wondered if there was something wrong with him to not find his soulbonded and children enough, wondering all the time if he was a monster or something to find lacking what the gods have given him).

After a long time Madara eased back and Konohanasakuya wiped his cheeks with her sleeves, cupping his face for a moment to pull him down far enough she could kiss his forehead, “Now, I will send you to the first fragment but if you have need of me simply return here, I will wait for you to be done and we can always look in the mirror to try and find more clues or if you need a break. I’ll keep looking as well, alright?” she asked and Madara took a deep breath, straightening and shoving his hair over his shoulders, visibly gathering himself before nodding at her. Konohanasakuya smiled and waved him over to the full length mirror that rippled and a second later it resolved on a scene of a traditional looking manor where a young man of maybe eighteen with hair that was half white and half brown was bent over something in his lap, the door opened and another brown haired boy entered, the scar on his cheek catching the slanting evening light dramatically.

With another breath Madara squeezed his mother’s hand and then stepped through the mirror, socked feet padding onto polished wood as Madara-that-was-Indra was suddenly in a casual white yukata with his hair tied back in a high tail rather than his mission blacks. Madara looked up at both startled boys and found a faint smile on his lips, goodness the half and half one looked just like Hashirama! It was then that the realization of who these must be suddenly hit him, Tobirama’s younger brothers gaping at him as Madara absorbed the fact that a shard of Tobirama’s soul had gone to his little brothers as soon as he died. “Ah” the Uchiha said “hello?”