Kindling

Tobirama had grown up knowing he was an abomination by anyone’s measure; his clan looked in his eyes and flinched from red and even the Uchiha hated people with red eyes, viewing them as abominations that had stolen the blessing of their patron Goddess. Red eyes were hated even by those that possessed them half the time and Tobirama- sometimes Tobirama wondered if he would be better off if he just cut out his eyes altogether, he would have if he didn’t know that it would break his brother’s heart; Hashirama had always done everything he could for Tobirama- and Tobirama had done the same as much as he could, always training harder and being better so that when the time came he could stand at his brother’s right hand- had stopped their Father from killing him twice when Tobirama was still too young and small to defend himself, had found and killed the Uchiha that had gotten a glimpse of his eyes when he was eight (Hashirama had never stopped feeling guilty for that but had promised Tobirama that he would never regret it, not when the Uchiha would have hunted him down like an animal if word had gotten back to them about Tobirama’s eyes). Hashirama had done everything he could to defend Tobirama though it wasn’t always enough; not when Father decided that if he couldn’t kill Tobirama he would make his failed son into something useful, not when Father took it into his head that Tobirama should learn sage mode so that he could sense better to see without uncovering his eyes, never mind that Tobirama was already so sensitive that sage mode could have killed him. He had lived, barley, but it had left marks on him that would never fade (another thing to set him apart from the clan) and forced him to learn control like never before to keep himself from falling into sage mode again and loosing himself to the pawer.

When he had been allowed to see his brother again Hashirama had cried, not the dramatic, sniffling, weeping that he normal fell into but an almost silent sobbing as he held Tobirama’s hand, the albino still so sensitive that anything closer was painful. Tobirama had brushed at his brother’s hair and hummed a song that their mother sang before she died, waiting until Hashi’s tears slowed to ask about Itama and let Hashirama fill him in about all that had happened while Tobirama was…gone. Later the albino had started teaching his brother how to use sage mode, doing the same with Itama even though it infuriated Father (he wouldn’t see his brothers die when he could do something) and meant that in his anger he sent Itama away to foster with the Uzumaki (Tobirama cried when his little brother was sent away but couldn’t help but be glad to get Itama away from Father and the Uchiha, he might still be killed in Uzushio but, the Uchiha weren’t over there). It was after that at nine and newly aware of what it felt like to lose another brother that Tobirama ran into Kuro Uchiha on the borders. He new in an instant who the boy (boy?) was, the youngest living Uchiha her had the same twist to his chakra that his father had and Tobirama had felt in Tajima before (all Uchiha were warm to Tobirama- even those that crackled with lightning rather than fire- but the main line was distinctive, all of them felt a bit like…like the old lacquer on the heirloom objects Father loved as a sign of their old blood, they felt old and regal somehow, like…the way chakra tasted in the oldest seals Tobirama had felt). So Kuro- who felt like oldchakra-stillwarmash-freshallspice- was clearly one of them.

Tobirama knew what Father would want him to do, knew what his duty was, but he just…his brother flashed through his head and how badly he wanted something better for them, the pain of loosing Kawa and the way it felt to see Itama leave knowing it would be a long time before he saw his brother again and Tobirama just – his senses flashed out despite the pain it sent spearing through his head finding Tajima first (oldchakra-burntmetal-bitterthyme), jumping to Izuna (sharpsoral-lightningfire-petriyedwood) and then Madara (cloves-valcanovent-sauna) and Tobirama froze as the eldest Uchiha son’s chakra washed over him in a wave; so strong he could almost tastefeelsmell it, grounding and focusing and just – Tobirama jarred back to the present when he felt Senju’s nearby. The albino boy bit his lip hard, he knew what Father would want but…before he even though it through he dropped out of the tree behind the small Uchiha, wrapping his arm around the smaller shape and covering his mouth with his hand; he couldn’t let the Senju get to Kuro but he couldn’t let the other boy (?) see him. So he held the Uchiha tight against his body as he darted back into and up the trees, he couldn’t let the Senju know he was there; luckily Tobirama had practice hiding (so, so much, bandages wrapped around his eyes or not Father never wanted Tobirama to be seen, the albino was very good at stealth missions, he could steal almost anything) and Kuro was smart enough to hold still as soon as he heard the Senju’s movement through the forest.

They stayed like that, Tobirama doing his best to hide them with his chakra for a long time until he deemed the other Senju far enough away to use a tiny medical jutsu to send the other boy (?) into a light unconsciousness and hefted the Uchiha onto his shoulders before heading to the Uchiha border, he could leave Kuro there and just hope that he hadn’t save someone only for them to kill his clan members. Tobirama hesitated for a long moment after stashing the boy (?) in a tree on his side, he should be safe but Tobirama felt…felt like he should do something more somehow; it was in part the albino knew because the dissonance in Kuro chakra where it should have indicated his gender was grating, Tobirama couldn’t help but want to fix it a task and test he wanted to make better and he had never been good at turning away from his curiosity. He wavered for a long moment and chewed on his lips even as he shoved his hand into the pouch on his waist, he could fix this; all he had to do was find a way to make the inner chakra match the outer shape and while chakra was hard to change, shape was easier, he already had messed with something like this after all and Kuro’s chakra wanted to be in a different shape. Tobirama could fix this. he could.

Tobirama wasn’t sure how long he was working on the jutsu for Kuro but it was getting dark by the time he dragged himself out of his task, his eyes went huge when he saw where the sun was through the bandages (they were thin enough for him to see outlines of light and dark); Father was going to be furious…and it would still be worth it if Tobirama’s jutsu worked. Not that he was going to use it on the Uchiha, he wasn’t foolish enough to use a completely new and untested jutsu on someone he didn’t want dead, the best he could do for now was to leave it with Kuro and then the Uchiha could try it and see if it would work before anyone used it; it was unsatisfying to say the least (Tobirama wanted to know, that had always been his flaw) but it was the best he could do and he needed to leave. Grumbling under his breath he left the written out instructions to the jutsu tucked in Kuro’s thigh pouch and quickly remove the medical jutsu and darted back into the trees; Kuro was just eight but Tobirama was well aware of how little age made a difference in skill, after all Tobirama himself could already defeat people years older than him (only Hashirama was better of those under sixteen- and some older- and Tobirama wasn’t sure how much of that was that mokuton and how much was Hashi).

Kuro woke with clear grogginess and as he put things together Tobirama could feel him start to panic, sending frightened glances back into the trees and Tobirama really couldn’t blame him, as far as he knew he had been snatched in the forest and then sent unconscious for hours, only missing a meeting with Senju that would (and almost certainly could) kill him. It was a very close call and Kuro was clearly aware of that as he ran back to the Uchiha compound and Tobirama forced himself not to get swept up in Madara Uchiha’s chakra, no Uchiha would ever be comfortable with a red eyed person, Tobirama knew that (he did).

Hashirama was torn between pride and horror when Tobirama explained why he was back so late- Tobirama knew that it was one of his brother’s deepest fears that Tobirama would be found out by the Uchiha- but eventually the fear calmed and Hashirama was greedy for anything the albino could tell him about the other clan for all that it wasn’t much and maybe it was that curiosity that meant that Tobirama didn’t say anything when he felt Hashirama start meeting up with Madara Uchiha. Hashirama wanted to meet them, wanted peace with the Uchiha and Tobirama was one of the biggest obstacles; it would be best for Hashirama to form his own opinion of Madara without Tobirama doing anything, so Tobirama just…started pulling their Father’s attention. It wasn’t hard to distract him at first or tell Father that Hashirama was training with sage mode in the forest- father never argued with that and knew well that disturbing Hashi would be a bad idea in sage mode- so Tobirama grit his teeth and pushed through the pain of the extra training and Father’s attention (it was worse now without Hashi keeping an eye on him). But eventually – eventually Tobirama noticed through his exhaustion that Hashirama was speaking to him less, that even when he was with his brother Hashirama’s eyes were elsewhere, that Hashirama never told Tobirama about Madara even though he should have known Tobirama could feel them (maybe he knew Tobirama could and that was why he never said anything? Maybe); it was as if Hashirama was drifting away from him and that was like a punch in Tobirama’s stomach (and Tobirama couldn’t even be angry about it, not when Hashirama was so happy and Madara seemed so interesting– his chakra was always like a loadstone to Tobirama’s senses- it made sense for Hashirama to be so distracted and it was a good thing- it was- for him to have some time not worrying about Tobirama. It wasn’t so hard to make sure that Hashirama could do that, all he had to do was just, not go to his brother when training got to rough; he didn’t need to anyway, he could heal too even if he was best at small tightly controlled things, not bruises and it was hard to heal himself, it was worth it if Hashirama was happy. And if Tobirama wanted to go to his brother and curl up next to his sturdy strength, well, he could do without. He could).