“I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Kankuro.”
“What do you mean, Kiba?”
“This. Us.”
“Where is this coming from? We’re fine, aren’t we?”
Kiba was standing in front of Kankuro’s window, watching as the dark sky let rain shower down. The shadows of the raindrops on the window were creating shadows on Kiba’s face, making it look like he was crying if you were on the outside looking in. Kankuro was standing there behind him, a confused and frustrated look on his face as he felt this was being brought up out of nowhere.
Kiba held himself, trying to keep himself from crying as he spoke softly, “I don’t know if I can keep doing this, Kankuro. I thought I could be okay with doing this but… I’m not sure anymore. I love the time we spend together but… is this all I’m ever going to be to you? A dirty little secret? I… I can’t live like that… like this.”
The younger male gasped when he felt the strong arms of his lover wrap around his waist from behind. Kiba’s shoulders shook, silent tears were pouring down his face and then onto Kankuro’s hands. Neither of them said anything. Kiba made sure he didn’t sob loudly as he didn’t want to wake up Kankuro’s little boy sleeping upstairs.
Kankuro’s husband was out of town on a business trip. Those were the only times Kiba could really see Kankuro. He always had to come over at night, as to avoid being seen by anyone. Sometimes he felt like he was the only one making the effort. He felt like sometimes he was the only one making sacrifices.
The only people who knew about their relationship were Kiba’s best friends, Naruto and Neji. He had to make sure that his friends didn’t tell anyone, fearing that if adults found out then Kankuro would lose his job and be sent to jail. Kiba was still a minor, despite his 18th birthday being in a few months.
Kiba wasn’t sure if they would even be together by the time he was actually legal. It was something they hadn’t really talked about, despite the constant nagging from Neji to get Kiba to make it an important conversation with Kankuro. Kiba wasn’t sure if Kankuro would even make their relationship public after he was legal.
He was hoping that Kankuro would have left his husband by now but he didn’t. Kiba knew that leaving his husband was easier said than done, especially with a child in the mix. Yet, Kiba adored Kankuro’s adopted son, Kano. On some occasions, he would even babysit Kano for Kankuro and his husband. It hurt worse knowing that Kankuro’s husband knew about him but all he knew was that he was the babysitter. He didn’t know he was the student Kankuro was having an affair with.
That shit fucked him up.
He knew he was the homewrecker in Kankuro’s relationship. He knew he was helping Kankuro cheat on his husband. He knew if Kano ever found out about the affair then Kiba wouldn’t be able to see him anymore. Kiba would be seen as the person who had betrayed his trust in the most intimate way possible. Kiba would be seen as the reason his parents got a divorce.
Kiba felt selfish. He felt selfish with the way he kept this going. He knew this was wrong on so many levels but he couldn’t help but want Kankuro. He knew from the first time he kissed Kankuro in detention that he was poison. Kankuro was the sweetest poison and as much as he wanted to stop drinking it, he couldn’t get enough. It was a rush. It was dangerous.
It was toxic.
He was in too deep now. He had kept up with this charade for nearly a year now. He had lied to his family about where he was going at night, always saying that he was going to see Naruto or Neji. Every time he lied to his mother and sister a little part of him died each time. He was sickened by how easy it was for him to lie to his family. He had to hold back the choked sob every time they smiled and told him to say hi to his friends.
Kiba shook in Kankuro’s arms as he thought about how his family would react if they knew about their secret relationship. His mother would be so ashamed of him and his sister wouldn’t even talk to him because she’d be so disappointed in him. His family would resent him and be disgusted with him. He felt as though he was dishonoring his family and the Inuzuka name.
“I can make it better, I promise, Kiba.”
“No, you can’t, Kankuro. You can’t just fix everything.”
“I can be better! I can be what you need just give me a chance!”
Kiba knew he should say no. He knew that he should just walk out now. He knew he should call Naruto or Neji to pick him up. He knew he shouldn’t stay the night. He knew he should go home and be with his family. He knew he should tell Kankuro it was over. He knew he shouldn’t believe those words that he had heard so many times before. He knew he shouldn’t let this go on. But he knew he wasn’t strong enough to do any of that.
“… okay.”
Kiba walked into school the next day and met up with his friends, who were waiting by his locker. Kiba gulped as he walked over to them, knowing that they were going to scold him for spending the night at Kankuro’s again. He walked to his locker and opened it, feeling their eyes burning through the locker and into his skin. He took a deep breath before grabbing his books and then shutting his locker.
“You spent the night at his house again, didn’t you?”
“I… I did, Neji.”
“Why do you continue to do this to yourself?”
“I don’t know. I tried to stop it last night but…”
Neji rolled his eyes as Kiba’s voice trailed off. Naruto shook his head at his friend as he stated unamused, “Let me guess, you tried to leave but he wrapped his arms around you and promised you that everything would get better? Kiba, you fall for that same shit every time. You tell him you’re gonna leave and then you just don’t pull trig. You bail at the last second. Why do you do that? Don’t you want to leave?”
Kiba put his back against the lockers and stared up at the ceiling. He let out another deep breath before shrugging and answering weakly, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to be some dirty little secret anymore but at the same time… I don’t think I can let him go. We’ve invested a lot of time into each other. It’s not just some basic high school relationship because I’m- “
“The teacher’s pet.”
“Naruto! I’m not his pet!”
“You roll over for him every time, Kiba.”
“I… I don’t think I do…”
The bell rang, indicating that it was time for the first class. Naruto waved goodbye to his friends, walking down another hallway to his class. Kiba and Neji had all the same classes together and Naruto would be with them the rest of the day after the first class. Naruto just wasn’t in their advanced mathematics class because he wasn’t shit at math.
Kiba wouldn’t see Kankuro until the end of the day when he had English. Kiba loved that class not only because he fucked the teacher, but because he loved to write. He was a natural writer. The words just floated off the pen and onto the paper to make some of the most beautiful works that Kankuro had ever read. It was something about Kiba that drew Kankuro to him in the first place.
Kiba shook his head, getting out of his thoughts and trying to pay attention to the math lesson. Normally Neji would have to kick him or throw something at him to wake him up from his day dreaming but Neji was surprised that he didn’t have to do any of that this time. He glanced at Kiba, wondering what he was thinking about that day that made him actually pay attention in class.
Soon enough, the class was over and Kiba and Neji were heading to gym class. Naruto was grinning and waving at his friends when they walked into the locker room. Kiba blushed as he fought the urge to stare at the other boys changing around him. He knew all those boys wanted him but he had to pretend he didn’t see them so he could convince himself he was staying faithful to Kankuro.
All those boys desperately wanted Kiba but he always told them that now wasn’t the right time for a relationship. He always told them he had some family issues at home and that maybe another time they could do something together. But another time never came. The boys wouldn’t stop trying though and for some reason, Kiba liked that.
As the three friends walked into the gym, their overly enthusiastic gym teacher declared that the class would run around the basketball court for five minutes to get the blood pumping. Of course, Rock Lee led the pack of students while Shikamaru was doing the bare minimum amount of effort in the back of the pack.
The three friends were running just in front of Shikamaru. They knew that Shikamaru could hear them but gossip was such a drag that he preferred to tune it out. Naruto was on Kiba’s left and Neji was on the right, Naruto declared that they made a Kiba sandwich. Both friends cringed at Naruto’s attempt at a joke. Neji turned his head to look at Kiba.
“What were you thinking about in math today?”
“What do you mean?”
“I noticed you were rather focused on the lesson today.”
“I… just wanted to learn today.”
Kiba slapped the back of Naruto’s head when he heard his friend coughing “bullshit.” Naruto giggled at his friend, determining that he was right if he got slapped for it. They wouldn’t have much time left before their five minutes were up so Neji and Naruto knew they needed to get as much out of Kiba as they could now.
Neji gave Kiba a hard look, that same look that always made people get scared of him. Kiba knew that the look wasn’t meant for him to be intimidated by him, it was Neji’s way of saying “don’t make me ask you again or else I will allow Naruto to punch you.” Kiba knew not to play around when Neji gave him that look.
“I was thinking about… him.”
“When you think about him you aren’t that focused.”
Kiba let out a sigh as he tried to explain, “I was thinking about him but not in the way that I normally do. Normally I think about the nights we shared and the times he bent me over his desk and fucked me in detention but… this time I didn’t think about any of that. I was thinking about what the future for us was like… I couldn’t really picture a future for us and it really scared me.”
Naruto was about to say something stupid but Kiba continued to talk, “I was really scared because if he can’t leave his husband then I know there is no future for us. It’s such a fucked thing to say, though. I shouldn’t even be wishing that they got a divorce because that’ll make me look like more of a homewrecker than I already am. And then Kano would be so fucked up from the whole situation.”
“Yeah, I almost forgot that he adopted a kid.”
“Kano only knows me as the babysitter, too.”
“If he knew about the affair…”
“He would hate me, Naruto.”
The Inuzuka couldn’t even look at his friends as he groaned, “I don’t know what’s worse. To be hated by his husband or to be hated by his son. It’s such a fucked up situation and I don’t even know how to get myself out of it and part of me doesn’t even want to get out of it because fuck it, I love him. I could have any of these guys in school and I picked him. Fucking him.”
“When you told me he was cute I didn’t think you’d fuck him.”
“I hoped I would but didn’t think I’d wind up like this.”
“You just thought fucking a teacher would be easy?”
“It was easier to do that I thought it would be.”
Naruto nodded back at his friend in joking manner before saying with a shit eating grin on his face, “Yeah, I mean I feel like you fucked him within the first month. I figured it would take you longer than that but that just shows how easy both of you really are!”
“Go to hell, Naruto!”
“I’ve been there before, it’s quite lovely!”
Neji rolled his eyes at his friends, wondering why he associated himself with them. Before anyone could say anything, their gym teacher blew his whistle for them to stop running. The rest of the class was pretty uneventful. They picked volleyball teams and learned the basics of the sport. Kiba’s team consisted of Naruto, Neji, Lee, Tenten, and Sakura. Kiba was pretty satisfied with his team. He felt confident that they would win the class tournament.
The bell rang soon afterwards, forcing the boys to head to their next class. The rest of Kiba’s day seemed to just flash by him. He was just going through the motions at this point. Neji and Naruto noticed it but didn’t say anything about it. They were used to it at this point, as sad as it was to admit that.
Kiba gulped as the trio entered their class with Kankuro. Neji walked by Kankuro without saying a word, Naruto grinned and waved while Kiba just blushed and sent a small smile his way. Kankuro just smiled back at all of them, checking Kiba out when no one was looking. The trio took their seats in the back of the class and waited for the rest of the class to arrive.
Kiba always felt weird having Kankuro as his teacher. He had to call him Mr. Sabaku instead of Kankuro. Kankuro’s eyes always seemed to be on him, causing Kiba to blush and bite his lip. He didn’t do it to be seductive, he bit his lip to avoid from saying or doing anything stupid. Kankuro had this way of making him feel so small in his class. Kiba didn’t know if he liked it or not.
The brunette wasn’t really paying attention anymore, he was too busy doodling in his notebook while the rest of the class took notes. As the class carried on talking about Romeo and Juliet, Kiba was scrawling poems or short stories in his note book that didn’t pertain to the class at all. Before he knew it, the bell had rung and school was over. Yet, Kankuro’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Kiba Inuzuka, please stay after for a few minutes.”
“Y-Yes, sir.”
Neji rolled his eyes and Naruto just giggled as the two left. Kiba collected all of his things and walked to the front of the room when the class emptied out. Kankuro walked over to the door and closed it so that no one could hear them. Kiba gulped as Kankuro stood behind his desk, eyeing Kiba’s body up and down.
“You weren’t paying attention in class again.”
“I must disappoint you.”
“As a student, yes, you do.”
“You already know I don’t care about the grades.”
Kankuro shook his head with a grin on his face. He loved how innocent little Kiba had this playful side to him. Yet, he noticed that Kiba wasn’t giving his normal grin back to him. Instead, there was this little smile on his face. It was almost shy, as if he didn’t even want to give him a smile. It was a pity smile. What was going on?
“Are you alright? You want to talk about it?”
“You mean us, don’t you?”
The older male groaned and sunk down in his chair. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He just wanted to have a playful moment with Kiba but of course, that wasn’t going to be in the cards today. Kiba fought the urge to yell at him for responding the way he did. He acted like talking about their relationship was a chore. As if he was a chore.
“Never mind. It’s not important to you.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Kankuro’s eyebrows raised at that, clearly shocked at the venom in Kiba’s voice. He looked up at the younger male, he had tears in his eyes. Kankuro sighed, he always hated it when Kiba cried. He was a fucking beautiful crier, somehow. It really wasn’t fair for someone like Kiba to be this enticing.
Kiba closed his eyes, the tears falling down his face as he turned to walk out of the room. He opened his eyes when he felt Kankuro’s hand on his wrist, pulling him away from the door. Kiba yanked his hand away, using it to wipe his tears away.
Kankuro ran a hand through his hair as he asked, “How can I fix this? You want me to acknowledge you more in class? Would that make you feel better?”
“I don’t want to be the teacher’s pet, Mr. Sabaku.”
Kankuro flinched at how Kiba didn’t use his first name. Kiba felt the tears stinging at his eyes again as he continued, “I want more of an effort from you outside of the classroom. I don’t want to be the teacher’s pet. I want to be your lover but all I feel like is some fucking whore that’s ruining your marriage. I feel like I’m just a booty call, someone you can call up to fuck in the night. I’m not okay with that.”
Kiba was shaking, he couldn’t believe that he said that. Kankuro sighed before stating, “I’m sorry, Kiba. I know I told you I would leave him before but… I think it’s time I actually did something about it. I want us to be more serious but with you being underage… it’s not the right time so when you’re 18 I’ll have everything worked out, okay?”
Kiba knew he had heard those words before. He knew he shouldn’t believe those words anymore. He knew those words were fake. They were empty words, empty promises. Kiba felt a tear stream down his face as he smiled at Kankuro.
“… okay.”
For months, Kiba tried to let things go back to how they were. He had Kankuro fooled that everything was okay. Kiba wasn’t okay with this anymore because he knew there wasn’t any action behind the words Kankuro was saying. It would be a few months until Kiba was 18 but he didn’t think their secret relationship would last. It certainly wouldn’t last after the fight Kankuro had with his husband that Kiba witnessed.
Kiba was over fucking Kankuro when they got a little sloppy. Kiba’s mesh shirt was laying out on Kankuro’s bed that night that Kankuro’s husband found it. Kiba was over saying that he had been babysitting Kano before and he was about to leave but Kankuro’s husband came stomping downstairs with the shirt in hand.
Kiba gulped, he felt like he was missing an article of clothing under his sweatshirt. He felt like he should leave but Kankuro’s husband walked over to him and asked desperately, “This doesn’t belong to Kankuro or Kano so have you seen Kankuro with anyone else in the house when I’m gone? I know I’m not around a lot but I didn’t think he’d cheat… have you seen anyone in the house, Kiba? Please, tell me!”
“I haven’t seen anyone, Akihiro. I wish I could help.”
“Oh, how could Kankuro do this to me?”
“I… I’m sure it’s not what it looks like.”
“Don’t try to defend him, Kiba, I know he’s cheating!”
Kankuro had rounded the corner, entering the room to figure out why Akihiro was yelling. Kankuro’s eyes widened at the sight of Kiba’s shirt. Kiba’s eyes were wide and desperate for Kankuro to fix this.
Akihiro noticed Kankuro and clutched the shirt in his hands as he screamed, “You’re unbelievable, Kankuro! I have to leave to help provide for our family and you’re going around fucking hoes!”
Kiba flinched at that last part, Akihiro was talking about him without even knowing it. Akihiro went on yelling, “And we have a fucking son, Kankuro! Why can’t you just keep your dick in your pants and be a faithful fucking husband! I know damn well this isn’t your shirt so whose is it, Kankuro? Which fucking slut’s is it?! Who the hell are you fucking?!”
Kankuro couldn’t even say anything, he was too focused on the hurt expression on Kiba’s face. Seeing Kiba hurt was more painful for Kankuro to see than his own husband upset. It was almost as if he didn’t care that he had hurt his husband. He was upset that Kiba was getting dragged through the mud by Akihiro.
There were tears in Kiba’s eyes as Akihiro turned his attention to him, grabbing his hands as he spoke, “Kiba, I trust you. I know you and Kankuro are friends but so are we. Who is the person who’s been seeing my husband? If you know who they are, I need you to tell me. What kind of a person would want to try to ruin our family?!”
“A fucking whore, that’s who.”
Kiba choked that out. It broke his heart to call himself a fucking whore. It hurt to see how Akihiro thought about him, despite the other male not knowing it. Kiba apologized to Akihiro for the situation and then excused himself from the home, whispering that his family was expecting him to be back soon.
As soon as he was outside the house, he cried. He ran down the street, not caring that it had started to rain. He pulled out his phone, sending a text to Naruto and Neji if one of them would come get him. He wasn’t even paying attention to where he was running, he just knew that he needed to get away from Kankuro’s house.
He was running through the streets, tears streaming down his face. There was a pain in his chest that he couldn’t push down anymore. He ran across a road, gasping when he heard a car honking. He closed his eyes and waited for it to hit him but it stopped just in front of him. Kiba fell to the ground, shaking in a puddle as he realized he could’ve gotten run over.
“Kiba? Is that you? What the hell are you doing?”
“N-Naruto?”
Kiba gasped when he saw Naruto open the passenger side door and then run out to help him up. As Naruto helped him up, he noticed that Neji was in the driver’s side with his head out the window. His eyes were wide but he didn’t say anything. Naruto helped his friend in the back seat and sat down next to him to try to keep Kiba warm.
Once everyone was settled, Neji drove towards Kiba’s house. Kiba could feel Neji’s eyes on him through the rear-view mirror. He knew Neji wanted to know what was going on but he didn’t want to ask. Kiba was thankful for Neji and Naruto not slamming him with questions about what happened. He didn’t know if he was ready to talk about it but he knew he owed his friends an explanation.
“Kankuro’s husband knows about the affair.”
“Does… does he know it’s you?”
“No… but he suspects Kankuro is cheating on him.”
“How’d he find out?”
Kiba sighed as he leaned into his friend, shaking from the cold. Naruto rubbed his friend’s shoulders in an attempt to keep him warm. Kiba felt tears falling down his cheeks as he answered, “He found my shirt on their bed. It wasn’t either of their sizes so he knew it had to belong to another guy. He called Kankuro out for it in front of me but he didn’t know it was me… he didn’t know I was the whore that’s fucking his husband…”
“You’re not a whore, Kiba.”
“Then what am I, Neji?!”
Neji remained silent as Kiba cried out from his spot in Naruto’s arms, “I’m the home wrecker ruining their marriage! I’m the one who’s going to make his husband feel like he isn’t good enough! I ruined the relationship Kankuro and his husband have and now their son probably knows! You both told me not to get invested in this but look at me! I knew I should’ve left long ago and I know I never should’ve kissed him in the first place… I’ve created such a mess…”
No one said anything after that. They just let Kiba cry the rest of the way to his house. Neji parked outside the house and surprised everyone by getting out of the house and walking to the trunk to pull out two backpacks. Kiba was about to ask why he had backpacks until he realized that his friends weren’t about to let him go to bed alone tonight. Kiba gave a faint smile, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go to bed alone tonight, himself.
The three friends entered the house, greeting Tsume and Hana before heading to Kiba’s room. The friends made themselves comfortable in Kiba’s large bed, none of them saying anything. Neji and Naruto put Kiba in the middle so that he would feel as though he had someone on both sides. Kiba was thankful that his friends would do this for him.
“What am I gonna do, guys?”
“I hope you aren’t thinking of staying with him.”
“I… I don’t think I can.”
“Not after tonight.”
Kiba nodded at Neji, he had a point. After the close call tonight, he shouldn’t push his luck anymore. Akihiro would be on high alert trying to catch Kankuro in the act so it wouldn’t be safe for Kiba to be seeing Kankuro anymore. His heart ached in his chest at the conversation he knew he had to have with Kankuro after class tomorrow. He wasn’t looking forward to it.
As sleep washed over the three boys, Kiba found himself tangled in a mess of arms and legs. Part of him liked it but another part of him wished that it was Kankuro who he was tangled up with. A lone tear made its journey down Kiba’s face as he closed his eyes to fall asleep alongside his best friends.
Tomorrow’s gonna hurt like a mother fucker…
Kiba woke up and felt like he was being hugged by a boa constrictor. He looked to his side to see Naruto with his arms and legs wrapped around his body. He looked to his other side to see Neji sipping a cup of tea at the end of the bed. Kiba rolled his eyes, leave it to Neji to be the first one up. Kiba coughed aloud, gaining Neji’s attention. Neji cocked an eyebrow at him as if he was asking what Kiba wanted.
“Are you gonna help me or not?”
“Probably not.”
“You ain’t shit, Neji.”
“Let me finish my tea.”
After Neji finished his tea, he pulled Naruto off of Kiba. Once Naruto was awake, the three friends got ready for school and got in Neji’s car. No one said anything the entire car ride. Instead, Naruto sang terribly to every song that came on the radio. Neji cringed each time Naruto attempted to hit the high notes for Ariana Grande’s songs while Kiba laughed at Neji’s reaction.
The three of them arrived at school, walking in together and then getting all their books for their first class. As usual, the bell rang and Naruto waved goodbye to his friends and carried on his way. Neji and Kiba walked down the halls to their first class. Neji glanced over at his friend.
“You’re nervous.”
“It’s hard not to be, Neji.”
“Are you sure you want to keep his English class?”
“What do you mean?”
As the two friends rounded a corner, Neji and Kiba looked forward as the pale eyed friend answered, “If you break up with him today, won’t you feel uncomfortable being in his class? He could make your life hell without anyone knowing. Just looking at him might be hell for you after today, as well. Naruto and I will switch into a higher-level English class with you, if you want.”
“Yeah… I might take you guys up on that.”
Kiba’s day was quite uneventful. He got to get his mind off of everything in gym class but when he went back to classes with Neji and Naruto he couldn’t help but think about how he was going to end things with Kankuro. He knew he should’ve ended things sooner but he was too addicted to the danger of loving Kankuro. He was too addicted to the older man to let him go.
English class with Kankuro came sooner rather than later, much to Kiba’s dismay. As Neji entered the class, he rolled his eyes at Kankuro before taking his seat. Naruto walked by Kankuro’s desk and bumped into it on purpose, making sure he knocked over Kankuro’s coffee cup. Naruto was giggling as the coffee spilled onto the floor. Kankuro was about to say something when Kiba walked by, avoiding his gaze with a light blush on his face.
Kankuro lost all the anger he had towards Naruto as he watched his lover sheepishly walk to the back of the class and sink down into his chair as if he was avoiding eye contact at all cost. Kankuro shook his head and called the janitor to come to the room to clean up the coffee mess. After the coffee was all cleaned up, Kankuro carried on with the lesson.
While Neji and Naruto pretended to take notes, Kiba just put his arms on his desk and buried his face in his arms. It was a clear indicator that Kiba wasn’t feeling this class. He wasn’t trying to be subtle anymore. He wanted everyone to know that he didn’t want to be there. When the bell finally rang, no one was surprised when Kankuro asked Kiba to stay behind.
As the students trickled out, Neji walked over to Kankuro and glared at him before walking out of the room. Naruto ran over and slapped the cup of pencils off of Kankuro’s desk, grinning and laughing as he sprinted out of the room before Kankuro could say anything. Kankuro groaned and got down to pick them up, looking up at Kiba when he moved in front of the desk.
“Your friends sure are petty, Kiba.”
“I think they have a reason to be petty.”
Once all the pencils were collected, Kankuro walked over to the door and closed it, locking it as well for an added measure. Kiba’s eyes were on the ground, he didn’t know if he could look into Kankuro’s warm, chocolate eyes just yet.
Kankuro leaned his back on the front of his desk, folding his arms as he stated, “Won’t you please look at me?”
Kiba shook his head, not even trusting his voice to speak without cracking. Kankuro let out a deep breath and started to speak, “I know yesterday was hard... but I still want everything we are and everything we’ve been. I know it might not mean much but I promise it’ll be good if you stay with me.”
Kiba still didn’t say anything. He just listened as Kankuro took the lead with the conversation, “I remember the nights when you’d lie with me. You know, where we’d talk and we’d touch and we’d fall asleep. You’d wake up in my arms and I’d feel at ease… I want more nights like those with you, Kiba. We can fix this but I need you to work with me, okay? Don’t you want this?”
Tears were welled up in Kiba’s eyes as Kankuro moved closer to him, a small smile on Kankuro’s face as he continued, “Don’t you want to be my lover, Kiba? I want to be with you. I want to be mine and didn’t you tell me once that you wanted to be my puppy? Come on, Kiba, let me love you. You know you’re so special to me, so beautiful… you’re so special.”
“If I’m so special why am I secret?”
“Kiba, you know I can’t- “
“Then you shouldn’t have made a move on me.”
“Kiba- “
Tears fell down Kiba’s cheeks as he finally looked up. Kankuro’s smile dropped when Kiba cried, “I knew this wouldn’t last but fuck you, don’t try to string me along anymore. Don’t give me your bullshit promises anymore. You couldn’t follow through on any of those promises months ago so don’t try to make them now. I gave you a year to prove to me how serious you were about us and I can see now they were all empty words.”
Kankuro was about to say something but Kiba wiped his tears away, only for more to fall down his cheeks as he continued, “I thought I was doing this for all the right reasons. I don’t care about grades, I just wanted to be yours. You say you love me but you won’t commit. You have a husband and a kid and you see them daily so I don’t know why you even need me.”
”Kiba-“
“I’m done being the teacher’s pet.”
Kiba’s eye were fierce as he walked up to Kankuro and hissed, “You should just give me back my money because I didn’t learn a damn thing from you except how to lie and cheat while inside the sheets. I won’t be your puppy. You don’t own me like you seem to think you do. I let you get away with stringing me along but not anymore. You don’t get your way this time.”
Kiba wiped his tears away and turned to leave the room but Kankuro wasn’t going to let him go that easily. He grabbed Kiba’s wrist and pulled him back to face him as he glared at the younger male, “You think you can just walk away from me after the bullshit you started last night?!”
The younger male slapped Kankuro’s hand off his wrist and he got into Kankuro’s face as he replied, “You think this is my fault?! Who’s the teacher fucking an under age student?! Don’t try to blame this on me because if you could just commit to one fucking person then your husband wouldn’t be upset with you and you wouldn’t be losing me now! You lost both of us because of you!”
“You wanted him out of the picture, Kiba. You planned that- “
Kankuro was surprised when Kiba slapped him. Kiba looked like he was surprised that he had done it himself but he shook it off as he growled, “Don’t ever say I planned that! You don’t understand how much I love your family and how I never wanted to hurt anyone! I called myself a fucking whore to your husband and you just stood there! You caused this!”
Kankuro just stood there, eyes wide as Kiba was sobbing in front of him, “I never wanted to be the home wrecker but I’m a dumb kid who fell in love with his teacher. I never wanted to grow so close to Kano and Akihiro but I did and I fell in love with them and the closer I got to them the harder it was for me to sneak around with you… I can’t do this anymore, Kankuro.”
Kiba’s shoulders were shaking and Kankuro couldn’t help but take in the words the younger male had been saying. He finally stepped back and allowed himself to realize the amount of stress he had placed on Kiba by starting this relationship with him. He hadn’t taken the time to think about what he was putting Kiba through. How painful it must’ve been to sneak around, knowing he would never be only one in Kankuro’s heart.
Kankuro’s heart was aching as he thought about how painful it must’ve been for Kiba to call himself a whore to Akihiro. Kiba had to call himself a whore and lie to Akihiro to save Kankuro. That’s when Kankuro thought about all the lies Kiba had to tell his family just to get away to see him. He thought about how Kiba shouldn’t even be in his English class but he dumbed himself down just to take his class.
He didn’t realize how many sacrifices Kiba was making to be with him.
Kiba got close with his family, knowing that it would kill him inside to know he would never be Kankuro’s husband. It must have killed Kiba to know he would never be Kano’s father. It must have destroyed Kiba to have Kankuro putting the idea in his head that he could be his husband and that he could be Kano’s father just to have him take that dream away. Kankuro realized he always brought Kiba up just to tear him down with empty promises.
Kankuro surprised himself when he walked forward and wrapped his arms around Kiba. Kiba just stood there as sobs racked his body. He could hear Kankuro whispering into his ear, “Kiba, don’t cry… I know you’re trying your hardest… and the hardest part is letting go.”
The smaller male was shaking as he walked out of Kankuro’s arms. He gathered all his things before walking towards the door. He slowly put a trembling hand on the door handle.
Kiba spoke just loud enough for Kankuro to hear, “And I can live without you…”
Kankuro felt his heart break as he heard those words. He wanted to run to Kiba and kiss him one last time. He wished he had savored their last kiss. He wished there was a way for him to know that their last kiss would be the last one ever. He gasped when Kiba turned to face him, tears streaming down his face but there was a small smile on his face as he spoke.
“But without you, I’ll be miserable at best.”
Months had passed and Kankuro missed seeing Kiba in the back of his class. The day after they broke up, Kiba and his friends switched into a higher-level English class. Kankuro’s heart broke when he got the paper that said Kiba would no longer be in his English class. He knew Kiba was doing it to help him move on but it still hurt Kankuro.
Kankuro spent these months trying to fall back in love with his husband. He tried to take him out on dates but the more time he spent with Akihiro, the more he wished he was Kiba. Kankuro found himself coming up with various excuses to tell Kano why Kiba wasn’t coming over to see him. It broke Kankuro’s heart to see Kano so upset about not seeing Kiba.
Kankuro spent most of his nights drunk and sending messages to Kiba in hopes that he would finally text back. Kiba never texted him back. Kiba didn’t even have his read receipts on so Kankuro didn’t even know if Kiba was opening them and reading them. The only thing that made him feel better about drunk texting Kiba was the fact that he knew Kiba hadn’t blocked his number.
The older male wasn’t lively in his English classes anymore. He lacked the usual energy he had and the students could tell but none of them would say anything about it. Kankuro would wait outside his class room every time the students were making their way to their next class in hopes that he could get a passing glance at Kiba. Sometimes he could see Kiba and it made him feel a little better.
Kiba had spent his months locked in his room. He would sit on the floor with his headphones in, sad music constantly playing. Some days were better than others for him. Some days he cried the entire day and refused to see anyone, even Neji and Naruto. Other days he would be screaming and throwing Kankuro’s things around the room. He was a roller coaster of emotions but nothing fucked him up worse than getting those texts from Kankuro.
I still have your shirt in my dresser drawer… you know, the one with the stripes.
Kiba cried at that text because he could tell Kankuro was just as miserable as he was. Kiba wanted to reply but he knew he shouldn’t. He knew he couldn’t let Kankuro get his foot in the door. Once Kankuro had a foot in the door he would make sure that he took all that he could get.
Every day I hope that I see you in the halls… you’re still as beautiful as you were when we met.
He almost wanted to respond to that one to say he stopped looking for Kankuro but he knew that would break the other man. Kiba had stopped trying to find Kankuro through the crowd because he knew he was only hurting himself. Kiba spent months learning how to smile for real again and he was happy to finally find his smile. He was smiling to all his friends who waved at him in the hall now and he loved it.
Nothing hurts more than seeing the way those guys look at you the way I look at you…
As Kiba was moving on, he struggled to look back at the guys who wanted him. He would be walking in the halls with Neji and Naruto and he would finally acknowledge all the popular boys who were trying to get his attention. As Sasuke would smirk at him, Kiba would blush and smile back. When Shino would pass him notes in class, Kiba would bite his lip and write back to him. He could finally allow himself to accept the advances the boys were making on him.
Please don’t be in love with someone else… please don’t have somebody waiting on you.
The end of the school year dance was coming up and Kankuro was annoyed to know he would have to be one of the chaperones. He didn’t want to be there to see the way all the boys would be looking at his Kiba. He didn’t want to watch them make moves on his Kiba, knowing well that he didn’t have a say in it anymore. He knew he couldn’t be like those boys and it killed him.
Happy birthday, Kiba… I hope 18 treats you better than I did.
That message hurt to read, it appeared that Kankuro still wasn’t over him after all this time. Kiba wanted to thank him but he knew he still shouldn’t reply. Instead, he texted his friends to come over to celebrate with him. Kiba spent the night getting fucked up with his friends and family. For once, Kankuro didn’t come to his mind. He was finally, truly happy.
I know you won’t answer but you look beautiful tonight.
Kiba saw Kankuro’s name pop up on his phone and then he put his phone away in his pocket, not bothering to read it. Kankuro was standing in the back of the gym, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. Kiba located Kankuro and sent a small smile his way. Kankuro’s eyes widened, Kiba was finally acknowledging him.
That was the only time Kiba looked at him all night. The rest of the night consisted of Kiba dancing with his best friends, or rather Naruto and Kiba grabbing Neji’s arms and forcing him to move. All in all, the three of them were having a good time together regardless if Neji would agree to that or not. Kankuro found himself smiling as he watched Kiba have the night of his life.
Kankuro could see that Sasuke was watching Kiba as well, almost as if he was waiting for the right time to approach him. A slow song came on, forcing Naruto and Neji to look around for someone to dance with. Kankuro watched the smirk on Sasuke’s face as the younger boy realized that Kiba was just standing there alone in the middle of the dance floor, a single light shining down on him.
Kankuro’s eyes widened, he knew what Sasuke was going to do. Kankuro found his legs moving on their own. Kankuro’s thoughts were rushing through his head as he maneuvered his way through the awkward students, I’ll bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor and ask my boy to dance. And he’ll say-
“Yes.”
Kankuro froze in his place when he heard Kiba say yes to Sasuke. Kankuro was right outside the light that was shining down on the two boys. Kankuro’s eyes were wide as he saw Sasuke hold out his hand for Kiba to take. Kankuro watched Kiba blush and smile as he grabbed Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke placed a hand on Kiba’s waist while the fanged boy placed his free hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.
Kiba and Sasuke paid Kankuro no mind. It was almost like they couldn’t even see him as they danced together. Kankuro watched as Sasuke dipped Kiba down and twirled him around. Kiba was laughing and Sasuke had a warm smile on his face for once. The two of them looked like nothing else mattered but each other. Kankuro let out a sigh, Kiba was happy without him.
Kankuro had the faintest smile on his face as he faded through the crowd. It was time for him to follow through on his word. Kankuro left the gym that night, not caring that the other teachers were mad at him for leaving. In the next couple weeks, Kankuro had filed for divorce and gained custody of Kano. Kankuro felt good to only have who made him happy in his life again.
In the last few weeks of school, Kankuro watched Sasuke join Kiba and his friends in walking to classes. Kankuro stopped sending Kiba drunken texts and he thought that Kiba would miss them but he realized Kiba had someone else now. Kiba wasn’t waiting by his phone for a text from Kankuro. He was waiting for Sasuke now.
On the last day of school, Kankuro noticed Sasuke, Neji, and Naruto waiting for Kiba by his locker. Kiba rounded the corner and waved to everyone with that gorgeous smile on his face. Kiba noticed that Kankuro was staring at him, causing him to look over at the older male. Kankuro gasped when he saw Kiba walking towards him.
Kankuro blinked in shock, Kiba was right there in front of him with a smile on his face. Kankuro didn’t know what to say or why Kiba had decided to come up to him out of the blue.
Kiba kept that smile on his face as he stated, “I heard that you got a divorce. I hope you’re happier now.”
“Yeah… I’m in a better place now.”
“I could watch Kano for you, you know.”
“Kiba, I don’t think- “
Kankuro was surprised to hear Kiba laughing at him. He couldn’t help but smile, Kiba’s laughter was always so contagious. Kiba stopped laughing but he was still smiling as he said, “No, I mean, you go away sometime and I’ll watch Kano. Go out on a date, Kankuro. I have no problem watching Kano while you’re gone.”
“He really does miss you, Kiba. And… so do I.”
“I… I miss you, too.”
The two of them leaned in and as much as Kankuro was hoping for a kiss, he got a hug instead. Kankuro found that a hug was just as good. When they pulled away, Kiba was grinning back at him. Kankuro just shook his head and laughed at the younger boy, telling him to get going and to enjoy his summer.
Kiba waved goodbye to him as he ran off with his group. Kankuro stood there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He watched Sasuke grab Kiba’s hand, smiling softly at whatever Kiba was saying to him. Kankuro smiled to himself, he didn’t end up with Kiba but he was happy to know he would still have him in his life. Kiba had told him that without him he’d be miserable at best. Kankuro shook his head and laughed as Kiba disappeared from his field of vision.
“Without me, you’re finally happy, Kiba. That’s all I ever wanted.”