Eat Them Up
Tsunade felt like it might be time to consider talking to Sakura about The Thing.
The Thing was the fact she kept catching Sakura in compromising positions with a variety of people in a variety of places around the Hokage Tower.
“Can I suggest a nice inn?” Tsunade asked dryly as she contemplated whether to say anything else, “After our meeting of course.”
The Sunakage looked at her with dusky teal eyes and even seemed to have a faint flush across his sun darkened skin. Tsunade was actually impressed Sakura had made the usually unflappable man blush.
“Ah, yes, the meeting,” Sakura said as if nothing was wrong, “We were just on our way.”
Tsunade gave her a pointed look, glancing at her shirt that was hanging open and her legs locked around Gaara’s hips. Gaara seemed frozen in the face of their calmness, both hands on Sakura’s breasts.
“Just giving him a tour of the Towers closest of course,” Tsunade said wryly.
“Quite,” Sakura smiled, “We’ll join you in a minute.”
Tsunade took the hint and shut the door, returning to her office to pour herself some sake. Don’t get her wrong, she loved her apprentice to bits and was quite glad she’d gotten over that no-good Uchiha, but catching Sakura every week in some corner was getting to be troublesome.
She supposed she really couldn’t say anything since Sakura hadn’t created any tension with anyone, nor was she ever lacking in her duties. In fact, she was usually too keen to see Tsunade doing her work, so these distractions left Tsunade with time to have a drink in peace.
And really, Tsunade was sort of pleased with the girl. Somehow her little spitfire apprentice was growing up to be a seductress. It was amusing as hell to discover who she had weakened this week and taken advantage of in a closest or file room. Maybe Tsunade would just sit her down and make sure she was really up to date on her sexual health and safety. Then she had a list of people who really needed to loosen up. She was sure her apprentice and her newly awakened sexual appetite would be just amused with the list and willing to try it out.
So Tsunade simply smiled as Sakura and Gaara stepped into her office to sign the new trade agreement they’d spent a week working on. And which worked very well in Konoha’s favor. Tsunade eyed the man’s flush as he darted a glance at Sakura while he signed.
Oh yes. This could work out well actually.
.--.
“That’s not even a challenge,” Sakura scoffed as Tsunade made the suggestion.
“Oh? Big words from a small woman,” Tsunade raised a brow.
Sakura gave her a smirk to show she was long used to Tsunade’s attempts at manipulation.
“That assumption that men will sleep with any woman with a pulse is quite true for Shinobi who know death could be right around the corner,” Sakura shrugged, “It’s actually pathetically easy to get in their pants.”
“He’s made of sterner stuff,” Tsunade insisted.
“Oh I’d never get him to crack if I was doing it to get information,” Sakura allowed, “But all I want is some fun and most men jump at that, him included.”
Tsunade narrowed her eyes at her and Sakura grinned right back.
“Twenty Ryo says you can’t get him in three days.”
“I’ll take your sucker bet,” Sakura cackled.
.--.
Tsunade had to admit that she had indeed lost the bet spectacularly. She still didn’t understand how Sakura had gotten Morino Ibiki to even come to the Hokage Tower on his day off just to fuck her in the file room in time for Tsunade to walk in.
Well, maybe enthusiasm? Tsunade wondered as she watched Sakura pin the larger man to the floor of the room with very little effort and ride him like they would be interrupted at any moment. Ibiki seemed to have no complaints as he gripped her hips and panted. Tsunade backed out of the room and closed the door.
“How?” Tsunade asked simply after Sakura returned to the office.
Sakura grinned like a cat that got the canary and accepted the glass of sake Tsunade held out.
“Easy Peasy. Think of a challenge next time please.”
“I don’t know if I should encourage you.”
“Too late for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the hospital for my shift. And there is a particular senbon chewing shinobi who has been trying to sneak out for the past few nights who needs encouragement to stick around.”
Tsunade could say the girl’s heart was in the right place at least. She also wondered if she could pin this all on Kakashi and his porn reading habit. Maybe even make him embarrassed enough to stop the habit.
.--.
“Please Tsunade, talk to her,” Shizune begged one day.
“Who did you walk in on her with?” Tsunade asked curiously.
“That’s not the point,” Shizune flushed.
“Who?”
“It was Anko,” Shizune finally sighed, “She nearly skewered me when I opened the door.”
“So is this concern for Sakura or…?”
“It’s a concern for my own health,” Shizune said, exasperated. “Every week it’s a new heart attack. And I can’t look some of them in the eye after…”
She flushed.
“Sakura is very flexible hmm. As are some of the shinobi,” Tsunade smirked.
Shizune groaned, covering her face.
“Anko apologizes about the kunai Shizune,” Sakura said as she slipped into the room, “Anko thought you were some pervert.”
“Pot calling the Kettle,” Shizune muttered.
“Run out of men already?” Tsunade asked idly as she squinted at a form.
“Not yet,” Sakura laughed, “But some of the Konoichi are even more fun. Besides, some of the more challenging guys have been coming by lately and I was getting frustrated.”
“Oh? And who are challenges?” Tsunade asked, enquiring.
Even Shizune perked up, wanting to know.
“Well, Kakashi,” Sakura admitted freely. “And Iruka. Both have this sense that since they were my sensei they shouldn’t fuck me.”
“Let’s not kid ourselves. You fuck them, not the other way around,” Tsunade smirked, “It’s a hallucination if they think they’re in charge.”
“Shh. Let the men have some dignity,” Sakura grinned, wide and sharp.
“Anyone else?” Shizune asked, curious.
“Hmm,” Sakura tapped her chin, “Well Jiraya.”
They both stared at her.
“You propositioned Jiraya? And the pervert didn’t leap at the chance?” Tsunade wrinkled her nose, unsure if she should be disturbed for both parts.
“I think he was worried about your wrath. And he may be an incurable pervert, but I think he thinks I’m too young,” Sakura shrugged.
“You’re eighteen,” Shizune frowned, “On the younger side, but still an adult, as you have been for years.”
“I know,” Sakura lamented, “I have the feeling he’d be such a good time too.”
Tsunade wrinkled her nose again and waved a hand to dismiss that line of thought.
“Oh, and Danzo,” Sakura said slamming her fist into her palm, “That old bastard keeps avoiding me.”
Shizune and Tsunade stared at her aghast.
“Danzo?” Shizune choked.
“Yeah. I thought maybe it would get him to loosen up a bit,” Sakura nodded.
“And he’s been avoiding you?” Tsunade demanded.
Had her answer to the man’s hounding been sitting before her? If Sakura was Dazno-repellant, she wanted the girl in her office all day.
“Like the plague,” Sakura sighed, “You try to make out with a man on the council table once and suddenly he avoids you.”
Tsunade looked at her, delighted, while Shizune stared in horror.
.--.
“Oh,” Sakura squeaked.
Tsunade tucked the papers under her arm and peeked around the corner. Hmm. She wondered if this was the first time a guy had been concerned about her pleasure as such. Sakura panted and moaned and met her eyes across the room. Tsunade gave her a thumbs up. Sakura managed a grin before she was whimpering. Judging by how realistic her pleasure sounded, Iruka’s enthusiasm wasn’t to make up for lack of skill.
She left them to it, Sakura pressed to a wall and Iruka on his knees. It had obviously taken her a bit to convince the man, but it looked like it was worth it.
.--.
“You can’t send Sakura on a mission like this!” Naruto howled.
“I’m Hokage. I can do whatever I want,” Tsunade snorted.
“Why are you yelling?” Kakashi sighed, taking the mission scroll. “It’s a simple information gathering mission.”
“They want Sakura to-to-” Naruto spluttered, flailing, “They want her to join a brothel!”
“I don’t see the problem,” Tsunade said dryly.
Then she spied a flush start above Kakashi’s mask. She repressed her glee.
“With me as her client?” Kakashi cleared his throat.
Sakura gave Tsunade a brief surprised look. Tsunade gave her a sly smirk. Sakura had been bemoaning the fact that despite getting Iruka she still couldn’t get Kakashi. Maybe this would help.
“You can’t make her do this!” Naruto wailed. “You can’t taint sweet innocent Sakura!”
Tsunade gave Sakura an incredulous look.
“Haven’t really done anyone my age,” she shrugged. “And he’s clueless.”
Naruto was still howling when Sakura dragged him and Kakashi from the room.
.--.
“How did it go?” Tsunade asked as Sakura entered her office alone, dressed in a very elaborate kimono.
“Kakashi is harder to crack then I had thought,” Sakura admitted with a tone of defeat, “He told me he trusted my skills and abandoned me for the mission to go help with an emergency at the border.”
“You’ll get him one day,” Tsunade said, consolingly.
“Hopefully,” Sakura sighed mournfully.
“Went okay other than that though? I know it was below your skill level but it was a honey-pot mission which you haven’t had to do before.”
“If you had assigned it to me a year or two ago I probably would have failed,” Sakura admitted candidly, “But now it was easy-peasy. Genjutsu for the civilians I didn’t want to sleep with, and well, the shinobi were hot so I didn’t bother with any tricks.”
Tsunade paused and replayed that sentence in her head.
“It was supposed to be a civilian brothel. Kakashi and you should have been the only ninja around,” Tsunade said, eyes narrowed.
“Ninja are everywhere now-a-days,” Sakura said flippantly.
“Not in small out of the way trading villages they shouldn’t be,” Tsunade said flatly, “Especially not in the Country of Iron.”
“People go on missions to distant places.”
“None of our shinobi were out there.”
“Never said they were ours.”
Sakura and Tsunade stared at one another.
“Okay who?” Tsunade finally sighed.
A grin started to stretch across Sakura’s face. Tsunade got a bad feeling in her stomach.
“Please tell me it wasn’t a nuke-nin.”
Sakura stayed silent, grin stretching wider.
“Dear lord,” Tsunade said, “I’ve let you become a monster.”
“A well sated one,” Sakura said dreamily, “I don’t think I will ever want Sasuke again.”
“…you didn’t,” Tsunade said flatly.
“I did,” Sakura cackled.
“Uchiha Itachi, really?”
“He’s just so…pretty,” Sakura sighed happily.
“He is,” Tsunade did have to relent on that one, “But still a criminal.”
“A very talented criminal,” she chirped, “As was his partner.”
“You slept with Hoshigaki Kisame as well?!”
“I mean, it was like a two for one deal,” Sakura shrugged.
“I forgot you were in the brothel. You had to pretend to be a prostitute. That’s my bad, sorry,” Tsunade winced.
“It was no problem,” Sakura said, “I didn’t even charge those two. Though it think they may have seen through my disguise.”
“They are S-class shinobi. I’d be disappointed if they couldn’t ferret out a spy.”
“I mean, I also used my strength to overwhelm Kisame and pin him to the bed so I could fuck the daylights out of him,” Sakura shrugged, “I don’t think most Konoichi can do that let alone a civilian prostitute.”
“You broke you’re cover to fuck Hoshigaki Kisame,” Tsunade rested her face in her hands, “You could have died Sakura.”
“Naw. He was like a puppy with a crush after that. As soon as I had showed I could strong arm him he swore eternal devotion to me,” Sakura said nonchalant, “Said something about finally finding a real woman.”
Tsunade buried her face in her hands. This was going to cause problems, she just knew it. And she had no one to blame but herself. She should have known better than to turn Sakura out on the world.
.--.
“What started this?” Tsunade asked after she had kicked the bushing man out of her office.
“Sleeping with Genma?” Sakura raised a brow as she adjusted her skirt, “I swear I told you I motivated him to stay for healing when I-”
“I mean the whole sleeping your way through the village thing,” Tsunade waved a hand as she avoided looking at the couch; she’d need a new one.
“Oh, that,” Sakura shrugged, “it started as a bet with Ino actually. She lost her virginity to some civilian and said it sucked. I said the man she slept with probably just sucked and wouldn’t be able to find her clit, let alone know what to do with it. She said I talked big for someone who was still a virgin. So we ended up tumbling in a bed and both our minds were blown. Then we talked a bit and decided to see if it was just the civilian boy or if it was most men you know. So we hit up a couple guys and well, most guys are age really do suck. They’ve got enthusiasm I’ll give them that, but they just don’t know what to do. So I hit up some older guys and bam! Realized if you pick the right partner it’s fucking awesome. And maybe I’ve got an addictive personality but damn if it isn’t a good way to spend some time. And if done right you can drag it out all night or have a quickie in the closet.”
“Why not just find a friend with benefits then,” Tsunade said, “if it was experience you were looking for you could have found one good one and trained him up.”
“I thought about that,” Sakura admitted, “But then I looked around and saw that everyone was just so…pretty. I just wanted a taste of everyone, so I decided fuck it, I’m a shinobi who can crush boulders with my bare hands, no one’s going to call me a slut to my face at least. And let me tell you; worth it.”
Tsunade snorted despite herself and clapped Sakura on the shoulder.
“Well, as long as you’re staying safe,” she smiled.
“What do you take me for,” Sakura snorted.
Tsunade clapped her on the shoulder again.
“And if anyone bothers you,” Tsunade says, “Or doesn’t listen to a no, you let me know.”
Sakura raised a brow at her but there was a glimmer of fondness in her eyes as she smiled at Tsunade.
.--.
Tsunade tried to look calm and dignified as she stamped her seal on the scroll. Across from her Kakashi was practically jittery as he watched with both eyes wide open, even the sharingan. Sakura signed next as witness.
“Well then,” Tsunade said crisply, “I declare you Husbands. You have a week off for your honey moon. You’re welcome.”
Gai gave a loud whoop and spun Kakashi into a hug. Kakashi sent Sakura a vicious glare and then levelled a softer look at his new husband. They both vanished in a swirl of leaves.
Tsunade made sure they were actually gone before she broke down in laughter.
“Did you see his face?!” She demanded.
Sakura grinned at her in return and cracked out a nice bottle of sake.
“If I had to lose Kakashi to anyone,” Sakura said with blatant fake disappointment, “I’m glad it’s someone as loyal and loving as Maito Gai.”
“Did you know they were together?” Tsunade asked wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes.
“I thought Kakashi-sensei might be gay after the first couple of excuses for not falling for my flirting,” Sakura said, “Not because I think I’m irresistible or what-not, but because he always dashed off to Gai afterwards. And then a few weeks ago I heard Gai ‘consoling him’ when Kakashi complained about how relentless I was being. I cornered Gai after that and told him I’d stop because of my respect for gai. But Gai begged me not to. He was a tad guilty about it but he admitted Kakashi always ran to him after I bothered him enough and Gai quite liked it. Apparently, they’ve been dancing around this thing for like a decade! Stupid sensei. I guess I was what finally kicked him into gear and got him confronting his own feelings, and Gai’s.”
“Then it’s appropriate that you were their witness,” Tsunade cackled, “Lee’s gonna challenge you for beating him for that honor.”
“I quite like fighting Lee,” Sakura grinned, “And it will distract him while our sensei run off on their honeymoon.”
“Idiots all around me,” Tsunade sighed amused.
“To Idiots!” Sakura toasted.
They clinked their glasses and down the sake.
“I’m going to go track someone down to ‘console’ me for how terribly my sensei turned me away to fall into another man’s arms,” Sakura said, “Want to join me at the bar?”
“Stick around and finish the sake with me,” Tsunade said instead, “Who are you going after tonight.”
“Someone pretty,” Sakura said, “Any suggestions? People who need to relax? Anyone really good in bed?”
Tsunade swirled the sake in her glass and smirked.
“Ever had a tumble with a Hyuuga?” she asked, “Those eyes really let them know a person inside and out.”
“Really?” Sakura asked, interested, “I do try to ignore my age-mates though and Neji’s too close, plus he’s pretty but meh. Makes things tense since many of them still haven’t grown up.”
“I was thinking of a different Hyuuga,” Tsunade grinned, “Hiashi’s been stiff all week and annoying me in meetings.”
“Well,” Sakura contemplated, “He is pretty. And it would amuse me to see Neji’s reaction to that.”
Tsunade raised her glass again and Sakura grinned as she clinked it.
“To idiots and pretty men,” Tsunade said.
“Cheers to that!”
The hangover they acquired was well worth it when Tsunade saw Hiashi sitting rather bonelessly in his council seat, a dazed look on his face and his impeccable hair slight disarrayed the next day. He even wordlessly agreed with a proposal Tsunade had been trying to pass against his vocal disagreement the past month.
“You,” Tsunade told Sakura as she took minutes of the meeting, “are a dangerous weapon”
Sakura’s grin was quite proud.
.--.