Chapter 18
Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. He'd bottled up his feelings for so long that he thought he had grown immune to tears - usually when he was upset his chest would ache and then he'd feel numb for a while, and that's it; but this time, he felt like he was being torn apart, and everything was coming out. He hated himself so much for hurting Iruka, and wished he could turn back time and make things different. But that wasn't possible, so he had to live with what he'd done.
Kakashi dried his tears and took a deep breath as he thought about the situation. If Minato was around, he would have scolded him for doing something so stupid, but he also would have told him not to lose hope or give up on Iruka if he was that important to him, because love had a way of working things out. It did in all the romances he'd read, too; but he still didn't know what to do.
"Maybe I'll just… leave him alone for a bit." he mumbled dejectedly.
As Kakashi turned to leave, he sensed Iruka's chakra signature, and his eyes widened in surprise. What was he doing out here? Did he have loved ones at the memorial stone, too? Or had he come to talk? Maybe he hadn't realised where he was going, and just ended up here? Kakashi reached out with his own chakra signature, and suddenly Iruka's disappeared again; and Kakashi's heart sunk. He wasn't there to see him, then…
Iruka's chakra signature reached him again a few seconds later; and he looked up in confusion. Did Iruka change his mind? Kakashi didn't see anyone around, and tentatively took a step in the direction of the Eastern forest where he sensed him coming from; and then his chakra signature cut off again. Kakashi's heart began to race as he searched for Iruka - something didn't seem right.
His chakra signature appeared and disappeared again; and Kakashi realised it was pulsating, like it was travelling in waves. He had no idea what it meant, or what was going on, but he guessed it was some sort of signal; and he started to head towards the forest to see if he could track it and get some answers.
When Kakashi reached the tree line, Iruka's chakra signature seemed stronger; and he couldn't explain why, but it felt like Iruka was reaching out for him, almost desperately. He picked up the pace, following the direction it felt like he was calling from, feeling expectantly for his pulsing chakra; and after a couple more pulses, he had figured out the timing. But when the next one was supposed to come, he didn't sense anything; and the anxiety stirring in his gut only became worse the longer the silence went on. He couldn't help but think that Iruka was in danger.
Kakashi sprinted further into the forest, searching frantically for some kind of clue to Iruka's whereabouts, praying that he was okay. He was sure that signal had been a call for help, especially when he felt the desperation in his chakra, like it was his last hope; and he wanted to get to Iruka and be by his side as soon as possible. If something had happened to him…
Kakashi's mind was filled with so much worry that he almost didn't notice the remnants of chakra that were scattered all around him. It had been just a small sprinkle, but the deeper he ventured into the forest, the more there was; and it felt like Iruka was everywhere. But it was more than that… Somehow, Kakashi felt like he was feeling Iruka's emotions, too; or at least, what he had felt when he had released his chakra; like his own chakra had linked with Iruka's, and he had connected to his heart.
Kakashi mainly sensed fear, exhaustion, and pain in Iruka's chakra; but he also felt his will burning brightly through all of that, where he had told himself not to give up, because there was someone he could rely on… Because despite everything that had happened, he knew he could rely on him. Iruka's will encouraged Kakashi to keep going; and as his feelings continued to flow into him, he vowed that he would never let him down again.
He was going to get to Iruka, no matter what.
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Iruka knew he was going to die soon. His chest was burning, his lungs were screaming for air; and as the seconds ticked by, he was becoming dizzier and losing sense of the world around him. He staggered around uncontrollably, like his body was trying to absorb air by moving around; but no matter how much he moved, or didn't, he couldn't breathe. As he grew weaker, he could feel his body shutting down; and there was nothing he could do about it. Only a miracle could save him now. Or him…
"You look awful, sensei. I could let you breathe again if I wanted to - all I'd have to do is stop the jutsu…" Gou smirked sadistically. "But why would I do that, when you didn't do anything for me? It's all your fault, you know. If you didn't want to die, you should have told me where the scroll is."
A plan, that's what he needed. He didn't have much time, nor energy left, but he had to figure out a way to break the jutsu. If he could do that, he might have a chance. But what could he do when he was barely conscious and unaware of his surroundings? It was useless to try anything now, wasn't it? Was it about time to give up?
Hold on a little longer, Ru. I'm coming for you.
Iruka's eyes widened in surprise, and he clutched at his chest. He'd suddenly sensed Kakashi's chakra signature; and a wave of foreign emotions, particularly urgency and protectiveness, washed through him, overwhelming his body. It was almost like it had come from Kakashi's chakra, which felt strangely like it had attached itself to him; but that was impossible. Unless…
Iruka had read a book once, about shinobi myths and legends; and there was a story that spoke about something called a chakra connection, where two shinobi who had an unbreakable bond could sense each other's feelings when their chakra synchronised. Iruka wholeheartedly believed in the legend. Although it was difficult to master, chakra synchronisation was entirely possible, and those who could do it together were close with each other, so it didn't seem impossible to go a step beyond that and be able to feel another's emotions through chakra; but the idea made him perplexed. How could he have this connection with Kakashi? He'd never trained to do it before, and it was like it had happened automatically...
Darkness began to cloud the edge of Iruka's vision, and his legs suddenly gave way; and he collapsed, landing on his hands and knees on the forest floor. His body was burning and aching all over, he had almost no chakra left; and as the darkness shrouded even more of his vision, he was becoming very drowsy and could barely keep his eyes open. This was it. This was the end for him.
I'm sorry, Kakashi. I can't stay awake any longer…
"Iruka! No!"
Iruka used the last of his energy to turn to the voice, to face Kakashi; and he saw a blinding blue light, and Kakashi's silhouette outlined in the centre of the mass. Even with his back turned, he looked beautiful, and otherworldly, like a powerful angel or God; and watching him fight, Iruka didn't feel pain anymore, like his presence took it all away.
But he still couldn't breathe; and in a blink of an eye, Iruka's body suddenly gave up on him, and everything was shutting down. The last thing he saw as his eyes grew heavy and finally closed was Kakashi leaping into the air, ready to strike Gou with his lightning; and in his last moment of consciousness, a small smile crept on his face. If he was about to die, then he was glad Kakashi was the last thing he'd ever see...
Because his final memory would be of someone he truly loved.