Berena Advent 2024
Day 3 - Impatient
Bernie lay in her bedroom in the Spa Hotel struggling to sleep as thoughts and memories of Serena Wendy Campbell and herself swirled around her mind. Serena hadn’t disclosed much about their past relationship but by the way the woman looked at her and her own body's reaction to her they must have been very close.
As they continued talking through the afternoon she saw sadness flit across the chestnut coloured eyes and her voice kept breaking down so Bernie began to feel awkward not remembering exactly what she meant to her. Explaining she’d felt exhausted, Bernie excused herself from the other woman’s company for a few hours to get some alone time, her head was pounding but they made plans to eat together for dinner at 1900 hrs.
Serena had laughed at her giving her standard military 24 hour time frame rather than the civilian time of 7pm but Bernie didn’t take it to heart she’d been doing it for 25 years or more. She smiled tenderly as she lifted the other woman’s hand to her lips.
‘Until later Ms Campbell.’
She gave her two finger salute that brought a gasp of sadness from Serena who remembered that farewell message from her past as the blonde left her last time.
‘Major.’ Serena struggled to see the blonde walk away through the tears that were failing to stay restrained behind her lashes.
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Serena was relaxing in her roll top bath in her suite that gave her a panoramic view of the Hotel grounds and she was sipping the celebratory bottle of Prosecco she’d had sent up to her room. Even if there was no one else there to celebrate with her, she was overjoyed to have the love of her life back where she belonged, in her life again.
As she wrapped her body in the luxury bathrobe that was provided she felt as if she should contact someone else, such as Cameron and Charlotte to let them know that their mother was alive. Then she thought about Alex who had been to Holby trying to insinuate herself into Bernie’s family’s grief by telling them she was Bernie’s fiancée and the love of her life, this was disproved when Alex had to be rushed into AAU for an urgent operation and while under anaesthesia let slip she had lied. Bernie had always told her that Serena was the love of her life and she was still in love with her.
Serena could call Sian or Fleur just so she’d have someone else to discuss it with but her inner self persuaded her to keep it to herself just a while longer, keep Bernie all to herself just for a little while longer. She didn’t really have any right now she’d pushed the other woman away, breaking both of their hearts, regretting it almost instantly but being too bloody stubborn to change her mind and go after the blonde, feeling she deserved to be alone after what she’d done to Bernie.
She knew she’d need to be honest with the soldier who she realised was impatient to remember her past and regain her life but Serena was desperate to keep her to herself for a while longer. She promised herself she’d explain things to Bernie at dinner if she could summon the courage to be truthful and honest, while she needed to clarify if the blonde was engaged to Alex or not.
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Bernie’s headache had improved after sleeping but as she was taking a hot shower she started having memories of the voluptuous woman in her arms being thrown up against a tiled wall under another shower head and being ravished by herself. So they had been intimate, so why the sadness that kept creeping into the other woman’s eyes?
If she’d been with this woman then how was she in Africa in another hospital, an Army based hospital getting blown up by a terrorist explosion again. Where did that come from, again? Serena was her answer but did she want to hear the truth? Did her family know? She was impatient for dinner so she had the opportunity to talk to the greying woman and ask her some questions.
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Serena went all out to get ready, she didn’t care if the fake tan was affected, she'd needed the bath to relax and recover her equilibrium. Finishing her hair and makeup she’d sprayed her perfume Shalimar on her neck, wrists and cleavage. She knew it was Bernie’s favourite scent on her and made sure it was plentiful, then she wore the cocktail dress she’d brought along as an afterthought, just in case. Checking herself out in the full-length mirror Serena was finally pleased with what she saw, feeling ready she picked up her clutch bag, took a few deep breaths and started walking to the dining room and hopefully her destiny.
As she arrived, the maitre’D was waiting to show her to the table where Bernie was already sitting at the table waiting for her. She stood as they approached and the breath was knocked out of her, her hand instantly flying up to her necklace and twiddling with the pendant in her nervous tick.
Bernie was wearing her trademark black skin tight trousers and a fitted dress shirt, she looked good enough to eat, delicious thought Serena and the blonde could almost read the thoughts that flew across her face.
Smirking to herself while smiling at the other woman, she waited for her to sit before seating herself again.
‘I’ve ordered a bottle of Shiraz from the list, I hope you don’t think it’s too presumptuous of me?’
‘Of course not, you obviously remember.’
As Serena reaches across and rests her fingers on the back of Bernie’s hand, the blonde notices the trepidation flickering in those Chestnut eyes. Bernie’s face relaxed when she turned her hand over so they could touch palms and hold hands, both smiling at each other and the smiles reaching their eyes. Both felt the most relaxed they’d felt in a very long time.
They enjoyed the meal, eating slowly and talking about everything from work, family and much more; Bernie’s children were not yet aware of her survival because she had not been in the UK for long and had only just begun to recover her memories. When Serena mentioned Alex, Bernie’s whole demeanour changed, so Serena explained what had happened when she arrived at Holby and that she had been given Bernie’s journal by the Captain.
‘Can I ask you something about Alex before we discuss anything else?’
‘Of course.’
‘She told us she was your fiancée. Tell me honestly, Bernie. Are you engaged to her?’
The blonde went very quiet for a minute and Serena could see the cogs turning.
‘I can hear you thinking Major. Are you ok Bernie?’
‘I’m fine, I just had a flashback of a younger brunette who kept following me around. I had a relationship with her before I divorced Marcus, I remember that. She returned to Africa just after I was stationed there and she wanted us to get back together. Serena, i’ll be honest we had a short reunion but my heart just wasn’t in it, how could it be when it belongs to you Serena. We had a short holiday to Cyprus where she proposed to me but I had to be truthful and tell her I couldn’t, that didn’t go down well but she eventually understood I couldn’t be more than friends with her. Serena?’
‘Yes my darling?’
Bernie’s smile filled her entire face as her eyes almost shut, the smile that was kept mainly for Serena and her children.
‘Why did you finish our relationship? I think I remember why but do you still mean it?’
‘I regretted it as soon as I said it my darling, it was based on something stupidly said by Jason and it’s all I could think about at the time.’ She said sadly as she held onto Bernie’s hand for dear life. ‘I thought it was best for you to be happy and not regret staying with me.’
‘Wasn’t that a decision for us both to make mutually?’
‘It was and yes I regret it, I’ve been so miserable since and then I was told you had died and my world fell apart again. Marcus blamed me, Cameron blamed me and your funeral was horrendous, he made it all about him and tried banning me from the church. If it wasn’t for Charlotte and Cameron he would have had his way too, even Alex tried to insinuate her way into everything.’
‘Oh Serena I’m so sorry.’
‘What for, you had nothing to do with it. Are you remembering anything more as we’re talking?’
‘I am, it’s so familiar being here with you now and the more relaxed I get the more information is emerging. I urgently need to speak to the children, don't I?’
‘What if I contact them and ask them if they are available for lunch with me and then we can break the news together?’
‘Fantastic. Can I just tell you something very important?’
‘Anything daring.’
‘I love you and I want us to be together forever, I know I don’t remember everything but I do remember loving you more than anything.’
Serena’s smile told Bernie all she needed to know.