Chapter 2
Sakumo struggled to open his eyes. The smell of antiseptic made his nose burn. Slowly he managed to open his eyes to confirm he was indeed in the hospital. He spotted a dark, curly haired teenager passed out in the bed next to him.
“Oh thank Kami you are awake,” said a voice from his other side. Sakumo turned slowly to face the voice. Hanako and Izumi looked immensely relieved.
“I’ll go let Lady Tsunade and Lady Orochimaru know he’s awake,” said Izumi, leaving the room.
“What happened?” asked Sakumo, grateful when Hanako handed him a glass of water.
“You were late. Mom knew you had left Sand, but you were nearing two days late with no word from you or your summons. Mom instructed Hana Inuzuka and Shisui to search their patrol route for you. You killed Sasori of the Red Sand but were poisoned and facing Fugaku Uchiha. Hana stabilized you as best she could and started back with you while Shisui faced Fugaku. But Hana says Fugaku turned his sharingan on her but you pushed her out of the way. It was a nasty genjutsu. Shisui used some technique and Fugaku eventually retreated. Shisui collapsed of chakra exhaustion after getting you and Hana both here,” answered Hanako.
“How long have I been out?” inquired Sakumo.
“Three days. Would have been longer without Shisui’s help,” answered Tsunade as she entered the room. She checked over Sakumo’s vitals.
“You should be good to leave in a few days. But it’ll be weeks before I clear you for missions. Am I clear?” said Tsunade.
“But I got kids to take care of and can’t stay in here for days,” complained Sakumo.
“Almost all of your kids who are mission capable are currently running missions, mainly to keep them out of my hair. The younger ones the oaf is watching,” answered Tsunade as she checked on Shisui. Sakumo’s heart skipped a beat.
“Jirayia is watching my kids!?”
Jirayia stood in the living room of his teammate and best friend’s house fuming. Paint, glitter, and ink dripped of him as he stared down the kids he had tied up and sealed in front of him. The smoke kid would be a brilliant spy when she got older. Right now though he wanted to strangle her.
“We don’t have to listen to you, you old pervert!” yelled Minato’s clone.
“Yes you do! Your mother left me in charge!” yelled back Jirayia.
“We are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves!” growled the smoke girl.
“Then why is the house a disaster huh?” asked Jirayia, motioning at the destruction that was once a clean and very organized house.
“Because you’re an asshole who won’t let us go see our dad!” yelled back the ink boy. Somewhere in the house a crash sounded and Jirayia winced.
The fact that Sakumo and Orochumaru’s house currently looked like a war zone was not entirely Jirayia’s fault. One of the brats had apparently raided one of their elderly siblings’ rooms (Jirayia was pretty sure it was the ANBU boys’ room) and got a hold of weapons and seals. Then they had all turned on Jirayia after he got them home from the academy and told them they couldn’t go to the hospital to see Sakumo and the Uchiha teen. What were Sakumo and Orochimaru teaching these little hellions? Or was it the older siblings that had shaped these little monsters? The only reason Jirayia was even watching them was because all of said older siblings except for like two or three were on missions. That and Orochimaru was extremely uncomfortable leaving her younger kids unguarded with Fugaku Uchiha this close to the village.
“If I wasn’t one of the Sannin you brats could have killed me!” seethed Jirayia.
“You’re just a wimpy pervert,” commented Naruto, his siblings all nodding in agreement.
“I am not! I’m the one and only Toad Sage! I’m a seal master!” said Jirayia.
“Mom and Dad are better,” deadpanned Karin. Jirayia opened his mouth to argue but was beaten by Kin.
“Dad beat you in a matter of minutes last month,” commented the girl. Jirayia grimaced at the reminder. Sakumo was one of the fastest shinobi in the village and it was just natural talent. A talent his son had inherited.
“Kashi could beat you easily,” said Naruto.
“I’ll have you know I taught Kakashi’s sensei Minato Namikaze, your father!” said Jirayia, seething.
“Mom says that the student usually surpasses the teacher. Which means Minato surpassed you and Kakashi will surpass Minato, and by extension you,” said Sai.
“You know what? If you want dinner tonight you are going to clean up this mess before your instructor sibling gets home. If not you lot will become dinner for my toads,” said Jirayia. He refused to be outsmart by a bunch of kids.
“Toads eat flies, not humans you stupid pervert!” smarted off Karin.
“Just pick up the mess you made while I take a quick shower. Otherwise your mother may feed all of us to Manda. Who I have personally seen eat people,” said Jirayia, releasing the children. They miraculously scampered off and started cleaning.
Jirayia took off to the bathroom to shower and scrub some at his clothes. The ink wasn’t coming off. So Jirayia decided to leave those clothes to soak and unsealed a spare set of clothes that he threw on. He emerged from the bathroom and almost ran into Iruka. Iruka stood with his arms across his chest and his right foot tapping the floor.
“What? The brats are cleaning up the mess,” said Jirayia.
“You really don’t see the problem?” asked Iruka, getting angrier by the second.
“Besides the mess? No?” said Jirayia as he thought about what he could be missing.
“For a Sannin you are so stupid! How many kids are you supposed to be watching?!” snapped Iruka.
“Seven. Blond brat, ink brat, weapons obsessed brat, smoke brat, dark haired brat, red haired brat, and dark pink brat,” said Jirayia as he counted them off on his fingers.
“Wrong,” snickered Naruto from behind Iruka, who looked like he had smoking coming out of his ears.
“Eight. You were in charge of eight,” seethed Iruka.
“Eight? No. Sakumo and Orochimaru only have seven non genin children,” replied Jirayia.
“Until about a month and a half ago when they took in the four remaining Uchihas. One of which is Sasuke who is a student!” snapped Iruka, finding no amusement in how quickly Jirayia paled.
“I’m a dead man,” muttered Jirayia as he imagined Sakumo’s, Orochimaru’s and Tsunade’s reaction to finding out he had lost one of the children.