Chains

                                                    C          H          A         I         N         S

It’s too late to drive back to the house. I’m exhausted from the experience and from the looks of it so is Itachi though he’s too proud to admit it.

I can see the muscles in his hands tensing every so often just to keep from nodding off. I’m yearning for that hot shower wherever it is he’s able to stop. Just thinking about the heat uncoiling my frayed nerves makes my cold skin ache. I want to rip this dress off my body and smother myself in any soap available to get his scent off me. I want to watch as my makeup runs down the drain and I murder my persona from this day forward.

Eventually he lulls the car over hard gravel coaxing it to a stop. I wait still wrapped up in my fog of what had happened and it barely seems like time passed before he was back from the front desk and opening the car door for me, card key in hand. I slide out embarrassed to be wearing a daring outfit but feel a slight weight droop against my shoulders when Itachi relieves himself of his jacket and props the silk lining against my back.

I hold the front closed while he ushers us hastily into the ground floor room of our motel. I can smell the must and wrinkle my nose. This place actually made me regret entertaining the idea of a shower. And I needed it badly.

“May I open a window?”

“Of course.” He removes his holsters that have been discretely hidden over the broadness of his body. Two small pistols and a couple of knives. I’ve rarely seen knife throwing save the movies but I do know there’s competitive sports with them and axes. I wonder how skilled he is with a blade. I also wonder if he has the right amount of force needed to kill a man with just the whim of a throw.

I wonder how comfortably he can move with the leather being bound so tightly to his body. I guide the curtains away from the sill before letting the air around me ventilate. Blessed fresh air fans around my skin, I take in a deep breath hoping the lungful will help ease my nerves.

“You should have let me do it.”

“I didn’t trust him not to put his hands on you.” I glance over my shoulder at him.

“Chivalrous.” I dryly express my sentiment to him.

“More like you had a two hundred pound male versus a ninety pound possibly less, woman who has no experience killing without leaving trace evidence.” I sigh bristled but conceding to the argument at hand rendering it moot. All I want is my bed back at the safe house and a nice hot meal with the promise of coffee in the morning. Right now I’m more concerned with glancing in the corner of the room and seeing something scurrying out of the shadows.

“Is he dead?”

“Very.” He removes his vest tucking it away in a bag before rummaging through and blessedly pulling out some of my attire.

“Ladies fist.”

“I’d rather you shower first...see if there’s any creepy crawlies and scare them away for me.”

“Already did that.” Was that an attempt at a joke? If it was there’s no hint of a smile or smirk upon his lips whereas his younger brother would be brimming ear to ear accomplishing a grim joke like that.

He strolls into the small alcove that apparently has enough weight to be called “bathroom” while I peel myself out of the dress watching as my skin breaths from white to pink. Blessed circulation flow coming back to my sleeping limbs. I pull on a sweater and shorts looking at the bed afraid to even sleep on the pile of covers tightly fit to the corners of the spread.

I think I’d rather sleep in the car. At least the seats are comfy and I know whose been in the cab of it.

I look to the other bed deciding which looks better by comparison but...there’s a slim margin of difference between the two so I take the one furthest from the door. Paranoia still buzzing in my head from the adrenaline high of having gone through with the plan from earlier.

Initially I was upset with Itachi foiling what was supposed to happen. He led me to believe that the barbiturate was in the dissolvable tablet that I spiked into his scotch. I suppose I can’t be too cross with him considering I don’t know if I could have gone through with it without the false sense of confidence. I amped myself up enough to be content with going through with it. The mentality of kill one to save the many but, perhaps he knew I wouldn’t be capable of going through with the task appointed to me and therefore sought to intervene.

I hear the spray of the water and plant myself on the edge of the bed needing a distraction. I flip the television on finding a good news station that isn’t crackling and bite my fingernail in anticipation. I wait for the breaking story of Danzo’s death to flash across the screen. Itachi has hopes that it wont break until the morning. However my stomach is in knots and I want to make sure they didn’t get any video footage of me coming or going.

I have no doubts I’ll be a person of interest and it makes me sick to think that I’m going to have to pack up my life here, sever all ties with friends and family and move away to the tropics. In the beginning I was content on doing that to get away. Now that I’m in this deep I should have valued everything I had before putting it on the line as a way to bargain. But then I had told Itachi about my dream of opening up the children’s hospital and that gave me...relief.

It gives me hope. Yes I love my job, yes I worked damn hard to get to the level of being called a doctor and Kami-sama knows working in a mans world is annoying and tiring to constantly prove you can do a job with equal skill as your male predecessors.

I turn on something that is mindless and best used for background noise where I don’t need to focus on the plot because really the platitude of people that watch these type of shows await for the drama to unfold.

The steam curls from under the door and moments later through the plume of haze Itachi emerges with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Yep. I could die right now. I hurriedly look away hoping that my cheeks aren’t burning red as he casually tugs out his own set of clothing from the bag.

He crosses my line of vision but I staple it to the screen until he passes and scurry off the bed while his back is to me and shut the door.

“No bugs.” He calls to the closed door and I reply with a squeaky great!

By the time I get out he’s lounging upon his back stretched out like a cat at ease without any troubled thoughts creasing his brow or making him restless.

I wish I could adopt his caviler attitude when it came to why I could have pulled the operation off, yet I had no tangible case to present to him that would be believable. I let all those thoughts wash down the drain in the shower. I’m not particularly fond of the brand of shampoo provided in the motel but I was desperate and couldn’t afford to be picky.

“Sasuke called while you were in the shower.”

“Bet he’s either relieved or pissed I’m not dead.” My attempt at humor is certainly dry. I wish Tenten could be here to catch me and recover my humiliation at not getting even a scoff from Itachi. I lay back in my bed drawing the musty covers up to my shoulders watching mindlessly as the history channel explains something about Norse boating.

“He was relieved that you weren’t the one to kill Danzo.”

“I’m sure he is.” I glance over to him, I watch the rise and fall of his chest. His hand casually draped over his midsection while the other is folded behind his head, palm cupping he back of his crown. I cant help but note the similarities of mannerisms he and Sasuke share. It’s almost cute in a dangerous-lion-dont-forget-they’re-killers way.

I smile to myself and close my eyes.

I awoke to the world moving. Sometime in the wake of the morning Itachi had easily slid me into the car and was on the road, the rocking of the interior making me stay asleep until the intrusive rays of sunlight illuminated the back of my eyelids orange and made me snap awake.

The scent of fast food fills my senses and suddenly my stomach growls. I definitely need it after drinking alcohol half the night. I thumb through a bag propped in the center console rummaging through until my fingers find the wrapped breading of a breakfast sandwich. I sip the bottle of water glancing at Itachi. I can tell he wants to get back just as badly as I do.

“Did you eat?”

“I did.” Picturing him balancing one hand against the wheel while fumbling trying to open the wrapping of the sandwich which in a clumsy way makes me smile. Crap he caught me.

“What is it?”

“N-nothing! I’m just thankful you stopped and got us breakfast. That’s all!”

I act busy taking two big bites as an excuse not to speak further while he concentrates on the road ahead.

It took another eight hours before we crossed back into state lines. Both he and I became restless and antsy as the hour left to get back to the house felt the longest and most drawn out elapse we’ve sat through thus far. But isn’t that how it always goes? Wanting to get back to something that is so close seems the furthest away from ones grasp.

I wrestled with the thought of sleeping the hour away but felt it cruel to leave Itachi to suffer by himself abandoning the insanity of wanting to get there as fast as we could to appease myself.

His hands tighten against the wheel. I glance in his direction. It was the same motion he made when our abduction the first night he drove Hinata and I to the house. I furrow my brow wondering what reasoning he had for doing it.

“Something wrong?”

“No.” Well now I know he’s lying. Normally I wouldn’t be invasive but...something seemed troublesome and if I may not know a lot when it comes to relationships and comforting others but I do know a thing or two about bottling my emotions up and it never ends well. I cant imagine what a mans outlet is. Probably angry sex. I choke on my tongue thinking about the last bit. Kami-sama is my mind that corrupt from Sasuke that it automatically goes to the gutter?

“I told you, you can talk to me.” He takes in a deep breath. I can see the resolve breaking but the duality still remains in his concentrating expression. “Is it because you might have to dissolve your company now that things have gone awry?”

The car swerves through to the other lane off the exit until it drags to a small outcropping off the highway into the mouth of a dusty trail that seems like a road made for a logging industry or phone company. The car jolts to a stop but my heart is hammering in my chest on full throttle.

He puts the car in park keeping it running as he pries his curled fingers from the wheel dragging them down the length of his face. I shift in my seat. Normally I wouldn’t feel this uneasy but I can never grasp what the elder is thinking or how he’ll react or even what he’ll do. I figure he’s going to use me as a punching bag. The worst kind of way to get everything out. I hope he’s had enough bloodlust from the night before. With him he’s an enigma. A shadow that doesn’t allow others to see him unless he wants to be seen or until its too late and his darkness shrouds around you.

He gets out of the car and I take the opportunity to turn it off conserving the gas we have left. I sit in my seat for a minute searching for his form in the various mirrors available yet the useless things have a blind spot that pick up nothing but his shadow. He’s moved to the back of the vehicle. Before the taillights flick off in unison with the headlights after being commanded to sleep I see his shadow block out one of them as he leans his weight against it. Maybe my theory wasn’t so far fetched.

I open the door thinking better of going to ask if he’s alright but clearly I can see he needs to get something out in the open. It’s eating him up inside and all I need to do is crack a few more pieces and I know he’ll succumb to being candid with me. But I don’t want to force him to say or push him to the edge of anger so much so that he’ll take his wrath out on me.

I shut the door quietly and make my footfalls silent sucking in my gut so none of the weight dips into the balls of my heels. I creep over to him on the opposite side of the car in order to get a more advanced view of his face. A good vantage point to gauge his expression. But no. As usual he’s got that placid expression but I can see the terse jawline and the twitch in his flat and tight lips.

“Itachi...” I extend my fingers to his shoulder. He snatches my wrist like a skilled master plucking a fly with chopsticks.

“Don’t.” The smooth baritone in his voice sends a wave of silk through me. The voice in my head berates me for being a foolish woman.

“Just tell me what’s wrong. You can just get it out in the open and then we wont ever have to speak about this night again. I promise. I will go to the grave with whatever secret you’re allowing to fester inside you.”

“It’s not a secret. It’s transparent.”

“Then I’m still ignorant and in the dark to your sentiments so please, enlighten me.”

“It isn’t our line of work I’m upset about.” I wait for him to continue. It takes a few minutes for him to let my hand go and his eyes to rise from the focal point against the ground he’s been boring his stare upon. But he doesn’t look at me. He levels his gaze with the bleeding colors of the horizon. Brilliant shades of orange and purple fight for control of the last remaining blue of the sky before it leeches into a dark blue and black. Little diamonds already have risen and twinkle though its hard to see past the smudges of leaves clumped together.

“It’s what’s to come after.”

“I see...I get it. I do! I mean...I’m terrified at starting anew as well and worried about my safety, worried about saying goodbye to the ones I love in order to leave them behind. For once in my life I can’t even see my future clearly and quite frankly that scares the hell out of me. All my life I’ve planned things. I’ve structured and categorized what I would do in neat little boxes and colorful binders. But now I...”

We’re silent. Neither one of us speaks. But then he does and I almost jump at the soft timber in his voice.

“As am I.” From the things Sasuke’s told me about Itachi he and I are quite similar in regards to studying hard and having offhand knowledge. I never thought in a million years the elder and I would have such comparing views between us. Whereas Sasuke and I are opposite, Itachi and I are almost one.

“Sasuke’s told me you’ve got enough money to buy castles! You-“

“I’m not worried about our financial situation. Nor am I concerned about what we will do once we slip into the shadows and enter society as different identities.” His eyes linger on the colorless sky as the moon swells against the berth of the trees. Then they slip over in my direction stilling me in my spot.

“It’s the future without you that’s been eating at me.” My mouth drops slightly open. I search the depths of his spheres for the lie in his truthful words but find no fault or deception.

“I-I don’t understand...”

“I tried to eradicate the small disturbances of the arhythmic to my cardiac system but then it grew stronger and more prominent. I realized the sting of loneliness if you decided not to join me for our little talks in the mornings and tried to distance myself by being away from the house more often. I purposely went into the field of the work to avoid the remnants of the odd sensation. But it grew into a deeper fissure. So that is what’s been bothering me.”

I’m not sure how to respond to the confession. Deep inside I feel a kinship to Itachi. It’s easy to talk to him. He absorbs everything whereas Sasuke reflects and is open to being upfront about things. Perhaps I gave too much of myself which overtime eclipsed any chance he had at having a healthy relationship.

“No Itachi...I am one of the worst people to waste your affections on. I cant even grasp the concept of what it is to balance life, love, and career.”

“And I cannot stuff it back inside. What’s said has been said.” He turns leaving me in the wake of my confusion. I feel slightly singed at the cold shoulder he suddenly throws at me. I didn’t mean to offend him but I haven’t exactly been throwing out pheromones or sexual vibes either. Ino and even Hinata knows better than I do on how to be a female. What it is to be a woman. Whenever I even attempted to flirt with boys I liked in college they thought I was joking or being ironic. Now I suddenly have the attention of two men?

My head is spinning. What on earth is drawing these two utterly drop dead gorgeous men to my awkward self?! I couldn’t fathom it. I felt guilty for betraying Sasuke like this. But I knew what it meant. I knew that Itachi was doing his best to let Sasuke have the spotlight. He wanted his brother to be happy so he hid his own feelings to support Sasuke. My heart twinges.

I cut him off before he can open the driver side door. Though I’m a small blade of grass compared to this mountainous lanky man I’ll be damned if I don’t get to say my piece. Ever since I was taken I’ve been pushed through the ringer by these two assholes feeling restrained by the coiling of a rope. The hold these two had on me only grows tighter and tighter no matter how hard I struggle and fight.

I jab my finger into his broad chest doing my best to look intimidating though I probably look like a stuffed animal poking away at a tree trunk.

“You don’t get to turn your back on me Itachi! I don’t care if you are disappointed or bruised by my reaction! Why should it be me who cradles both you and your brothers egos despite you both setting yourselves up for rejection?! How dare the pair of you jerks push me around and order Hinata and I to accept a drastic change in our lives and how dare you both tear into my heart ripping it to pieces fighting to see which one gets to eat the scraps left!”

I don’t notice when I start crying. It’s not until Itachi holds my cheek in his warm calloused hand that I notice. His thumb brushes away the glittering jewels rolling over my cheeks as I look at him surprised by his small act of affection. Something I’ve never seen until now.

His expression seems solemn and regretful yet I can see the point of no return in his eyes as his brows raise slightly and his smile seems crooked, eyes soft and knowing.

“You’re right. Man is imperfect. And I am only human. Kami-sama made us weak when he abreast woman from our rib and he made the devil so much stronger than a man.” The way he speaks is poetic and invigorating. He’s silk. Fluid in motion. Strong and practical. And while the predators circle around me I willingly allow myself to become their prey. Now I await for their teeth to sink into my flesh.

And without further hesitancy he draws his lips onto mine slanting his firm tiers until the bud of my own swell in satisfaction and longing.