Zombies

"Achoo! " a loud sneeze snapped Hidan away from his thoughts and he looked over the culprit, it was Itachi.

"Bless you. "

"Thank you Hidan. " Itachi answered back, leaning against the gate that they were currently watching. "Say, how do you like it here so far? "

"It's pretty fun. "

"Heh... yeah. "

"How long have you've been in this group? "

"Four years. "

"Wait, but this whole thing happened two years ago?"

"This group was founded four years ago, they would strike revenge against this politician who forced their friend into being a mindless slave, with a single chip placed into his brain.

"Ah... sad story. "

"Yeah.. now tell me, you are 27 right? "

"Yeah. "

"Finally someone my age, everyone is either older than me or younger. "

"What, That Konan lady? She looks 23. "

"She's 32 and married to that friend. "

"I wasn't hitting on her. "

"Just putting it out there. "

"Sooo, Kisame eh? " Hidan wiggled his eyebrows and watched at the mans face turned ten shades of red.

"Shut it! "

"Oh come on, it's pretty obvious. At least tell me how much older the dude is compared to you? "

"9 years. "

"36 eh? "

"You are quite good at math. "

"It was my strong suit through school. "

"90 times 35.5? "

Hidan took a second, and laughed "3,195. My teacher called me human calculator. "

"My IQ is 200. "

"Holy shit, haha! " Hidan laughed for awhile, and finally stopped to turn at Itachi, who was smoking a cigarette. How'd he found cigarettes, he didn't know.
"You use that IQ to you advantage? "

"Yeah. I was the CEO of a company before all of this. But... I'm glad this happened. I would have been bound to a dead boring life for the rest of my days, but this... I think I found the love of my life because of this illness. "

"So you and Kisame are together? "

"Yeah. If there is one thing I could regret, is not having Sasuke with me. "

"Your brother? "

"My little brother, he disappeared with his friends one day... Naruto, Sakura... and his three teachers, Rin, Obito and Kakashi. " Itachi looked up, and let the smoke escape his mouth, " I woke up one morning, and couldn't find him. I spent months looking for him, and then this group recontacted me, and I was back in. Kisame was a new member, and me and him were partnered up. "

"So those years ago when you first joined? "

"I was drunk, and joined with no reasoning whatsoever. "

"Mhm. "

"Enough about me, Hidan. Tell me, what's up with you and Kakuzu? "

"That old man? Nothing. He's just a hot old man. "

"He's only in his thirties, how is he old? "

"... don't question it. "

"But hot eh? The scars turn you on? "

"They didn't turn me on! "

"Hmmm, whatever you say Hidan. "

"Uchiha's... "

~~~

"No no, when art finally goes 'boom' that's when it truly becomes art, and it joins the earths ecosystems and can become art again one time in the future. " Deidara explained, and Sasori scoffed.

"Art is never fading away, forever with us, and changing with times.. it's eternal beauty. " Hidan shook his head, and took a long sip from the vodka in his hands, placing it right back in the circle.

"Hidan, what's your view on art yeah? "

"Art is my god, he is the only thing I could think to call art. "

"Religious nut job. "

"Art freak. "

"Touché... " Deidara picked up the bottle and took a long sip, and looked at Sasori who rolled his eyes at lightweight laying on his lap. It was a normal thing friends did right?

Yeah.

"Hidan why are we drinking with two minors? " Itachi asked, picking up the liquor and chugging a good amount.

"Cause this group doesn't need us right now. "

"I like your point. "

Deidara scoffed and did a motion with his hands that only he and Sasori would understand. Sasori nodded in acknowledgment, starting to play with Deidaras hair.

"That's fucking cute. " Hidan pointed at the two, getting a glare from the two teens. "It's still cute even if you are giving me death stares. "

"Ugh. Didn't work, if only we had sharrigan. "

"It's not like ninja days assholes. " Itachi groaned and got into a more comfortable position on the bed. They currently were in Sasori and Deidaras room, drinking Kakuzus vodka that he let Hidan have if he would shut up for 5 minutes. After 6 he started talking again.

"Ninja days huh... clans like Hyuuga and shit right? "

"Yeah, didn't they like join with uzumaki? "

"Yeah... Naruto and Hinata getting married... wow. "
Itachi looked down at the floor, "My brother travels with them. "

"Sasuke was a slut. "

"Poor DeiDei. "

"He broke my heart! "

"You sucked his dick then stalked him for six months. "

"Shut up Sasori! "

Sasori laughed and leaned his head back against the bed frame. "Say, Hidan you and Kakuzu fuck yet?"

"No mini asshole. "

"Did you just-""Yes, I did just make a short joke. "

"Deidara hold me back-""Sasoriiii stoppppp. " Sasori scoffed and leaned back down, and Itachi laughed.

"So Hidan, why don't you and Kakuzu get it on? " Itachi asked, and Hidan felt like punching the two of them.

"Me and Kakuzu aren't fucking. "

"Bet. "

"Ughhhh betting? "

"Yeah. "

"Is he even gay? "

"He's bi. "

"Then there's a chance Hidan. "

"I'm literally gonna strangle yourself ass. "

Hidan fell back on the bed, Itachi joining him. "Diedara let me lie down too. " A shuffle was heard, and Sasori lied down to Hidan, and Deidara took his spot with his head on Sasoris stomach. These two shared a bed, Hidan could only imagine... he was gonna stop.

"Have you two banged? "

There was silence and the two shared a laugh. "Hehe... yeah. " Deidara smiled widely, "It was funny. We were both high, and then we just started arguing over art, then we started making out aggressively and then we just fucked. "

"How'd you two get high? "

"Zetsu grew weed. "

"Then nagato found out... his reaction was priceless..." Sasori stared up at the ceiling, and suddenly the door was unlocked and a tall figure came in.

"Hey 'Tachi, you are probably shit faced drunk right now aren't you? " Kisame said casually as he walked up to Itachis bag and collected something.

"Hehe, no. "

"Yeah yeah, I'll see you later. " With that, Hoshigaki walked back out the room. Hidan smirked and nudged Itachi who gave him a glare.

"Itachi, your poor asshole. "

"Deidara I will kill you. " Deidara grinned wildly and turned around on Sasori and got into hug like position, protecting his face from Itachi.

"That's so gay. " Deidara groaned at the words and flipped Hidan off, wanting to go to sleep.

"Sasori how do you deal with him? "

"Easy, 6 pain killers every morning. "

~~~

"Kakuzu~~~ " Hidan walked into the room and Kakuzu raised a brow at the stumbling Hidan, who was clearly drunk. Drunk ass fuck. He wasn't sure if that vodka trade was such a good idea now...

Oops.

"Yes Hidan? "

"Our mission isn't tomorrow right? " his words were slurred and drunken, but he wasn't completely shit faced. Yet. He still had the bottle of vodka.

"No, it's this Friday. "

"Cool. " Hidan waddled over to Kakuzus bed and collapsed and Kakuzu kept starring, what the fuck was this idiot doing?

"What are you doing? "

"Deidara and Sasori cuddle why don't we? "

Kakuzu sighed and rolled his eyes at the stupid, silver haired, violet eyed idiot. He was spending too much time with Deidara and Sasori. And Itachi. He didn't know if the impact was good or bad, but Hidan was clearly hit hard by how his three friends are in relationships of sort. Hidan pushed up from his position and sat right in front of Kakuzu, with a stupid grin on his face.

"Welllllllll? "

"Shut up Hidan, you're drunk. "

"No, you are. "

What?

"What? "

Without another word Hidan face planted into the bed, and was most likely asleep. He shook his head at Hidan who was face planted on the bed, ass in the air, and he would wake up with a sore body. He was gonna leave him like that. That's what he wished he did. Instead, he picked Hidan up bridal style and didn't expect him to be as light as he was. As he was right next to Hidans bed, Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu and he stared is disbelief.

"Hidan. "

No response.

"Hidan. "

No response.

"Hidan? "

"Mhmm... shut up... " Hidan was muffled as he dragged Kakuzu down towards the mattress with him. What was wrong with this kid? He was... so confused. Hidan had his legs already around kakuzu and Kakuzu knew his face looked confused and scared.

"What are you-Mhnnjhn?! " A hand covered his mouth and he felt like punching Hidan, but he couldn't ever.

"Shut up. "

Hidan rolled them over in the bed and he was concerned with the amount of strength Hidan had. Now Kakuzu was staring at the ceiling, and was still so confused as Hidan was cuddled into his side. What? Why? How? Why was Hidan suddenly so determined to be so close to him, he hadn't even seen Hidan act like this, not even with his new friends. Was it cause he was drunk? Most likely.

He glanced down at Hidan, who was fast asleep and had an iron grip on Kakuzus waist. What was happening?

He hadn't had someone so close to him since... ever.

Why was Hidan his first?

What happened that made Hidan act like this?

and...

Why did he like it?

He couldn't answer any of those questions. He leaned over and turned the lamp off. He won't question it. He won't question it.

He won't question it.

~~~

"Ugh god? " Hidan woke up holding his head, and to the room being completely empty. "What time is it-oh fuck it's 8:35 " Jumping up from bed, he felt the hangover coming over to bite him in the ass. Why did he drink so much? He held his head as he walked into the shower, and took a quick shower, which he always did since Nagatos rule. He was quite a scary dude... Hidan would give him that.

Getting out in under 5 minutes, he rushed to get dressed. Ending up with a plain black tshirt and some jeans. All his jeans were black. Shoving on his old converse, he brushed his teeth and left his hair the mess it was. Getting out the door, everyone was staring at him. Even Deidara and Sasori. Even Itachi. Even though they all drank with each other last night.

He didn't remember shit.

"...I woke up late. "

"Yeah right Hidan. " Deidara laughed, and Hidan shoot him a glance. Sasori nudged Deidara and Deidara sighed.

"It's alright Hidan. " Nagato was in the circle, probably about to start the plan's explanation.

"Take a seat, I'm explaining our mission this upcoming Friday. " Hidan nodded and looked around, everyone was sitting, even Kakuzu who refused to look at him, and he didn't know why. Seeing there was no more chairs, Hidan took his seat on the floor. "Our plan, to kill Danzo starts Friday. "

"We will be in groups, group one will be lookout, group two will be distracters, group three will be backup and Konan and I will act upon our revenge. "

Nagato eyes swept across everyone, and Hidan felt scared when his eyes turned purple... he thought that was an ancient gift that his god was given. How did this random guy have it? He had never seen those eyes in person. He hadn't seen a lot of things.

"Team one, lookouts. We'll have Zetsu. And only Zetsu, he will send us alerts through the walkie. Team two, distracters that will distract people and zombies we have Hidan, Deidara, Tobi and Sasori. Team three, backup, will have Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu. If you would please look at this map? " The group stood up and gathered around the map, and Hidan followed suit.

Nagato pointed to a spot on the map, "We will be here. A city, and cities are dangerous. We've proven this many times, from past expeditions, so we'll sneak through most of the city, and avoid using loud weapons and being loud in general. I fear this may be hard for group two, but they make the most sense as distractions. Zetsu you will stay at the door when we arrive at the building, blending in and watching for a horde, people, and anything in between. "

He had a real vendetta.

"Group 3, you will follow Konan and I through everything. You will provide back up while we take our revenge, he will more than likely have a group of bodyguards. You take them on, while Konan and I take on Danzo. When you take them out, you will not interfere with us. You just look scary, and scare Danzo. If you see an orange haired man- this goes for everyone- you will report to us. Take him in. "

Nagato looked around for acknowledgment, and the circle filled with yes's and head nods. Hidan understood it, he didn't want Nagato to look at him with those purple eyes. He was scared of him, who wouldn't be.

"Alright, lets go over our plan a few more times... we leave at noon. "

There was five more days till Friday.

Hidan was... excited?

~~~

"Alright, pack a bag for approximately 7 days. "

Hidan was rushing to get a bag of stuff that he needed, and was sad when he realized he couldn't pack any manga. He shoved his phone, fully charged, into his pocket with his headphones. He needed that, he had the charger in the bag, uhhhh... "uhhhh... " Hidan looked around frantically as he placed an extra pair of underwear, followed by three pairs of jeans, 8 shirts, and socks. He needed to do some Tetris to get in the bag so that it would be light, but have everything he needed.

"Hidan, you are over thinking this. "

"Shut up Kakuzu. "

"Violent... mad you can't bring your husband eh? "

He was not mad.

"I'm not mad! Asshole. "

"I would hurry up if I were you though, we are leaving in 30. "

Why the fuck was Nagato so annoying? Scary and annoying.

"I think I'm done. What are we traveling in? "

"By foot. "

"Wha- that's... a six day walk. "

"No, it's a 15 hour walk. We are in between Monmouth and Galesburg, and we are going to Peoria. "

"Oh shut up, you weren't serious right? "

"No, of course I wasn't. We are going in that RV they have. "

"Thank Jashin. "

Kakuzu had learned his lesson about Jashin. Never ask about it, or... you get a three hour lecture that you could only receive from a college professor. Hidan zipped up his bag, and put it on, staring at Kakuzu who was already done. "You forgot your toothbrush. "

...

...

Hidan did in-fact forget his toothbrush.

"Fuck off. "

"Let's go Hidan. " Hidan ran after Kakuzu, who looked as hot as he always did with that stupid bun, and that stupid mask... and those tattoos that peaked out of his shirt just slightly... what?

Why were his thoughts so cursed?

'Hidan control yourself'

"Yeah okay. " getting out the door the two walked to the circle where only two others were ready, Nagato and Konan. They had probably already packed their bags the night before.

"Put your bags in the RV. It's open. " Nagato pointed at a black and white RV that was medium sized, but enough to fit the group. Hidan and Kakuzu walked in and placed their bags next to Nagato and Konans. They shared a glance and stepped back out to join them in the circle.

A few minutes in silence and Itachi and Kisame stepped into the circle and they're bags were already in the RV... Hidan guessed they had done this before. "Hidan! " Hidan smiled and looked at Itachi, getting up to go talk with him. He and Itachi were close, best friend level close. It had only been a week since they met, but they had spent hours and hours talking about stuff in their lives.

Kisame went to sit down somewhere and Hidan and Itachi continued talking unaware of Kisames light staring. Kisame was... a jealous man. He tried to hide it but it always showed through. "Hidan won't try anything, you can relax. " Kisames snapped away from his thoughts at the voice that belonged to Kakuzu.

"Wha-I don't know what you are talking about. "

"It's obvious. "

...

"Okay... I just don't know the kid yet. He shows up and suddenly he's all buddy buddy with Itachi. "

"Maybe Itachi just needs a friend. "

'But he has me... stop Kisame' Kisame couldn't believe his thoughts, Kakuzu was right. Itachi needed a friend other than him.

"I guess you're right. "

"Tobi is ready! " Tobi declared as he walked into the circle, Zetsu trailing behind him with a blank expression on his face. Kakuzu always wondered what they did for the group, and found out that Tobi was an Uchiha and Zetsu was an important part because one, he had a talent for watching, investigation, and spying... and two, a green thumb. Important during an apocalypse.

"Tobi, please act responsible during this trip. " Konan asked politely and Tobi sighed.

"Fine. "

A few minutes passed and Sasori came dragging Deidara behind him. "I'm sorry for the wait, this one took forever to pack. " Deidara groaned behind him and was released from Sasoris grasp.

"It's fine. Let's get going. "

~~~

"Ugh Hidan you are such a cheater. " Deidara flipped Hidan off as he placed down a yellow 6. They were currently playing uno. Hidan was at uno.

"Being a winner isn't being a cheater. "

"When your name is Hidan, yes it is. " Hidan laughed at Deidara, only Itachi, Kakuzu and Sasori had to go before he could use his wildcard to win.

Itachi groaned as he placed down a red 6. "I've got nothing, Sasori and Kakuzu it's up to you. "

"Hmmm... " Kakuzu looked through his deck and scanned through, looking for anything of use. "I don't have anything. Not even a red or 6. " he sighed and started picking up from the deck till he got a card he could use to play.

He drew about 8 cards till he got a blue 6. Deidara was laughing at him. "This game is fucking rigged. Esto es tan jodidamente estúpido y amañado. "

Hidan smirked, there's no way Sasori had anything to use against him, there was no way-"What! That's stupid! Fuck you! " Hidan exclaimed, and Sasori grinned at the plus 4 card, and Hidan made a face as he drew four from the deck. He wasn't pleased whatsoever. They had about 30 minutes left of the car ride. It was a short ride, only about an hour.

"Asshole. " Kisame rolled his eyes at Hidan, his turn was next.

"The color is... red. "

Kisame nodded and placed down a red 3. Deidara made a face, and Tobi happily placed down a red 9. "Your turn! " Deidara looked at Tobi with pure hatred in his eyes, he did not like Tobi. At all.

"No fucking shit Sherlock. " Deidara looked through his group one last time, and sighed reaching for the deck that needed to be reshuffled soon. He drew only twice for a red, and let out a thank you lord even though he was atheist. What did he have to believe in other than art?

He was pretty sure everyone but Nagato, Hidan and Konan were atheist. Itachi placed down a red reverse. Deidara grinned and placed down his green reverse. Itachi raised a brow and placed down a blue reverse. Deidara scoffed and placed down a yellow reverse. Itachi laughed and placed down a red reverse. Deidara placed down a blue reverse and Itachi groaned. "You win. "

"L. "

The game continued for a few more rounds, and "Uno! " Deidara exclaimed and Hidan shoot him a glare. Itachi went, Kakuzu went, and it was finally Hidans turn. He placed down his last normal colored card, a green 4 and "Uno! "

"You're on Hidan. "

"I'm gonna win this blondie. "

Kisames turn came and he grinned, he pulled a card from his deck.... "Everyone place your decks in the middle. " placing down a make your own rule card, everyone groaned and Hidan and Deidara were yelling. Placing down their cards in the middle, Kisame collected them and reshuffled the small deck and began to deal them out again. Everyone would have a fresh deck now, everyone but him. He was gonna win.

"I hope you shit your pants. "

"Thank you Deidara. "

"Ugh. Go Tobi, dumbass hoe. " Tobi looked at Deidara and looked at Kisame.

"The color is green. "

Nodding, Tobi looked though his deck and started picking from the deck because he didn't have that color. He drew 14 cards before finally getting a green.

It made Deidara laugh.

Placing down a green 1 he looked at Deidara who was about to place down a card but Nagatos voice erupted through the car.

"Pack up the card game we're here. " They started to clean and finished cleaning and picked up their bags and hoped out to be in a little patch in the forest.

"We are walking the rest of the way, it's a 30 minute walk. "

Hidan sighed and the group started their walk towards the city.

Hidan didn't know how to feel about this first mission... was he scared or excited? He would see zombies in action for the first time in... years. Revenge was strong if Nagato would do all of this go get a single friend back. They must have been close. Konan is apparently married to the said friend. They would probably fuck when they get the guy back.

Glancing around, he saw no one was on edge. It was only him? Kakuzu looked at him and gave him a reassuring glance, but it didn't help whatsoever. He was gonna be a distraction... which meant he would distract other guards while the others sneak up too Danzo. He'd heard of the guy before this whole thing, something about him being a horrible person and asking why Hiruzen Sarutobi hadn't put him to a stop yet, as he was responsible for the Uchiha clan murder and the reason for a war that had been raging in Amegakure for 2 years, leading too the capture of many citizens of that city.

They work under his control now.

Hidan sighed and pulled out his phone and headphones. He wanted some music. Currently no one was speaking because of the situation they were in. Zombies just beyond them. Zombies weren't the smartest but he heard that people who previously had 200 IQ would be as smart as a zombie as they were human. Some zombies were brainless beings, others were super fast, and some had so much sheer strength. It shocked Hidan when he had read an article about it published by the government.

Music filled his ears and he smiled, this is just what he had needed to calm his nerves about this upcoming fiasco.

They would succeed without a doubt.