Denial
For a while, my body was on autopilot, moving with the waves of life like a machine.
But my mind was racing; I was in denial, delusional that Mae would actually come back. I waited, waited, waited... Nothing happened, nothing changed - a horrible cycle of days that will turn into weeks.
Yet I still waited. I want my Mayflower back. I need her; she's the only thread pulling me into sanity and consciousness. I miss how her sapphire eyes shone when she laughed at my jokes. I missed her orange hair flowing behind her as we ran from our problems; I missed her. Even though she was the one who left.
Yet, I still acted "normal" around her, pretending everything was "normal," just like in the past. I didn't want her to know how I felt, nor did I want her to feel guilty.
But I knew; I was just in denial.