170
1.pov
Mito dream
I was once again stuck with my memories. The memoriy had started, from the place we were previously on. Like a continued dream from. The weeks ago. I was laying on the cold ground. My body was bruised, i was beaten down, they left me on the floor once i couldn't even scream from pain. As my body had reached numbness and then it fell into unconscious. My eyes opened to late. It was already dark. The trams stopped going, and i had to go back on foot to my home. A hour of endless walk. The pain would force me to stay every few minutes. Once i finally managed to get to my house. I would go into a shower, and clean my wounds. However that wouldn't help me much. I would then stay in house for several days. As i wouldn't be able to go to school. Once i came back it eas already next week. The boys had their knowing smirks on. However that at the time did matter too much to me. As i had realized that i needed to stay strong and survive as nothing else would prove that i am me and not something they assume i was. Oh how wrong I was. The cursed reality crashed onto me. I didn't manage to make a single friend in first week and everyone was already gathering in groups. So i was alone most of time. Which was fine by my brain, but my heart longed for someone to talk to me. I was looking at the girl, she looked somehow familiar, but i wasn't good at remembering faces, as nit to hurt myself further, all those faces that hated me, were too much and i have long ago stopped looking people in their faces. Once our eyes met or i assume they did, i looked away. And then looked at the board, waiting for the classes to begin. Most of the professors asked me why i was absent for a week, i answered easily :" i was sick. My hole body pained."
It was true and the professors didn't saw anything suspicious in it.
The scene changed and i was year older. My body filled with new scars. I didn't want to remember what each one meant, or how each of them was earned. Now that o see, i am even more disappointed in my life. Even though i was bullied next to school and my screams were heard, they were always ignored. So many of professors hated me, they all knew about the rumors. They all believed into them, and they didn't want to get involved, because they couldn't really help the boys to beat me to death, however i am grateful that they didn't grade me unfairly.
It was only thing that help me. Soon another small change happened. Someone was always in my sight, seemingly no wanting to help me but never getting a chance. This girl was for sure weird. I learned everyones names, as normal classmates thing. I believe she was Mia. She was weird for many reasons. Sometimes she would behave similar to me. It is not like that i payed her any extra attention, but rather the girls she used to hang out with would bad mouth her behind her back, or every time she was called by teachers. She was obviously a teachers favorite, and her grade only werr behind mine. And i would never be the teachers favorite, with my reputation and all. However what i found weird was that whenever i thought i felt someone staring at me i would found out that it was her. I at first thought she hated me, but she never did anything wrong to me. And if i remember correctly she was the girl that talked with me the first time. As time went on i began to notice her more and more.
When the summer was close and everyone was doing their best to make their grades better, Mia and i were done with everything. And our professors would let us go outside of class as we didn't need to do anything.
The first time that was the case we were in 2nd grade. It was kinda awkward. She just followed me out the classroom. I thought that she would then go her own way but she just continued walking after me. I then began walking faster, but she still managed to follow me. I turned around looking at her confused, she was shorter than me by few centimeters. But i still wasn't looking at her eyes even though my gaze was always downwards. I asked her :" did you need something."
Mia looked at me. Well i now see that but, even then i knew that she was looking at me. She spoke :" i want to be friends."
I was so confused. That my face betrayed me and my voice cracked :"F-friends."
She nodded her head and smile :"why don't we have a drink. In nearby cafe."
I was confused, but i didn't know what to say. She wasn't the dangerous type, right, so i spoke with those thoughts on my mind :" s - sure."
She then took the lead as she said :" follo me then. I know this great place. "
She was no longer looking at me, and her atmosphere changed, she was suddenly cheerful, which was odd, she was usually the queit one. I followed her. She took me to the cafe close by. The atmosphere wasn't lively, but rather dark, i kinda felt good in there. She then sat us in darkest corner. And asked me what i would drink.
I was hesitant for a second, before deciding that :" orange juice is fine."
Mia then dissappeared and went to order our drinks. She returned in a minute. She had a apple juice herself. She smiled to me and spoke :" you know, i haven't had many chances to talk with you. And you don't talk much. I think that you voice sounds nice."
I didn't know what to think, so my words didn't come to my mouth, i just stared at the juice in front of me, hesitant to take a sip. I eventually spoke :" um, i don't know, how to be a friend. "
Mia smirked :" that is fine, because neither do i. "
I looked at her as i asked :" but don't you have friends."
Mia answered :" i don't belong with them, they just took the pity on me and started to talk with me. It would be rude of me if i just ignored them."
I nodded :" that is fair. However i don't know anything about you, nor do you about me. "
Mia laughed :" that is true but that could always change. So lets talk about our interests. Other than studying of course. We can have a lot, or or at least something in common. "
I looked away :" i mean, we could, but i am not proud of my hobbies. "
Mia looked at me saying :" why not, i don't think that you should judge yourself, if you enjoy something, you enyoj it, there is no deeper meaning to it, and i don't think that you should believe in anything other say, judgment aren't supposed to be brought by humans either way."
I was listening to her worda carefully. I was happy to hear them, she seemed to to be willing to understand me. I then gazed away from her as i spoke :" um, so i love reading. Not just books or stuff for studying. But i am pretty much thr type that would enyoj any type of good story. I also watch some anime shows. Then there is my writing, i usually would write after talking a long and nice walk through the nature. "
Mia smirked :" wow, i also love reading stuff. Honestly i know few animes, i watched them years ago thought. I am amazed that you actually write. What types of stories do you write. "
I was confused how to answer :" um, something like horor stories that are based on true stories. And there are few stories that i have written about fantasy or something unnatural. "
Mia nodded :" i see, how cool. So one last question, and then it is your turn to asl me questions, what type of music do you listen to nowadays. "
I looked at her, should i tell her, but she will probably think that i am weird, well that wouldn't matter, it is not like no one else doesn't think that. So i answer :" i listen to k-pop, there is a group called Blackpink that i listen to mostly. "
Mia was confused :" i never hear of those terms, what are those."
I answered hesitantly :" um, kpop stands for Korean pop, and Blackpink is a name of girl group."
Mia looked surprised :" oh i see, i didn't know that, you are teaching me so many new stuff."
From that i could tell that this girl absolutely loved studying new stuff. I liked that.
I looked at her nervously as i asked her :" so what about you, what do you listen to."
Mia looked thoughtfull for few seconds :" i listen to everything that is popular with others." i didn't judge her, she seemed to be trying to fit in, i would try same if i had any chances, but i had long lost that kind of hope.
I didn't know what else i had to ask, as i didn't know how to keep the conversation going. Luckily i was saved when her phone rung. Her friends called for her, saying that they needed her to buy something for them, they would pay her. I heard everything as their voices were loud enough. She said that she was doing something else and that she couldn't really go and buy stuff now. I was both glad and not at same time, because it was first time in a while that someone had prioritized me over something else. However at same time, my mind went on some questions that could keep the conversation going.
When she was finished with the call, i asked her :" um, so what animes did you watch."
She answered :" dbz, you know that right, Pokémon and then Yu-Gi-Oh one."
I smiled :" i know those, they are really classics of animes. Personally my favorite is Naruto."
Mia spoke :" oh, i heard of that one, but i don't know what it is about. "
I smirked :" i will tell you next time. "
Mia smiled brightly :" so now we are really friends, since we going to meet next time too. "
I answered :" i guess. But shouldn't we go to our next class. I mean it begins in 10 minutes. "
Mia nodded :" ah, yeah, i will go pay for this. "
I looked at her shooked :" at least let me pay for my part. "
She strongly answered :" No. I made you come all the way here. And i am sure you were annoyed by it, as you could spend doing things that you liked, and not waste time with me. "
I was shocked, she thought so little of herself, it kinda bothered me, so i spoke up :" you don't need to worry, i enyojed the time. I geuss that you can pay. But i have something to do, so you don't need to wait for me. "
Mia was confused so she asked :" what."
I looked at her confused, thinking about the answer i then realized :" i need to go to the toilet. " she belived in that, however that wasn't the truth, i didn't want anyone seeing us together, it wasn't because of her, it was better for her not to be seen with me. I went to the bathroom, making sure to make my hair as messier as possible. Nobody would question it either way, and maybe my bullies would think that i was beaten up already, and spare me this one time, as today was one of best days in a while. I got a friend.
Those metings continued, until the school year was over, and Mia and i had become great friends. Mia was soon going on summer vacation, and i had busied myself with various sort of work. I stayed in house when i didn't have anything to do. Sacred that i would run at someone that i know, someone that woud hurt me.
The suddenly the scenes changed it was beginning of the third year, i was carefully hanging with Mia when she had free time and i wasn't getting bullied, sometimes i woud think that she is to dense to notice some things. Maybe i was wrong, i didn't know until she spoke about it with me. She asked me directly, why did i let them do this to them, it turned like she knew that i was getting bullied but she never knew the extent to it. I was glad that she worried about me but i answer with the answer i gave to myself years ago :"i deserve it."
Hoshe never belived in that, but she let it go. However soon she began to be openly friendly to me and not just when we are alone. I had realized that every action that she took i liked. Maybe it wasn't about the actions but rather, who made it. However i soon realized that the things wouldn't work out.
I started to avoid her, as my bullies had threatened me to start bullying her too. I liked her, maybe it was obvious. However i could never express these feelings.
The memories of the school year flashed as my life was boring. The same things were on repeat. I would try to avoid everyone. Or at least when i wasn't alone. I got the chance to hung with Mia at the end of year again. She was persistent on is hanging out. And i agreed, buf only at the cafe. We talked about various things. Such as my stories, and then the things she liked, the things that I liked. I even began to explain her the plot of Naruto, i was so excited about it that i went into details. She seemed like she was listening into my every word. I finally was able to look up at someone eyes, that didn't hate me. That didn't hurt me. That had only good intentions for me. I was scared of them for so long, but now they looked so beautiful and bare, harmless.
She smiled beautifully, she then began to speak :" You know i was thinking of dying me bangs to green."
I was surprised by sudden topic, i asked :" how so. I didn't expect that you would do something like this."
She answered :" i think that i don't want to fit in anymore."
I felt scared as i asked :" if you are doing this for me, please don't. "
She smirked :" silly you, i am not doing it for you, but rather to be true to myself. "
I only nodded. The scene changed to tommorow she had already dyed her hair. I must say it looked awesome. But others didn't think so, as they immediately judged her. Saying that she was under demons influence. I couldn't say anything and neither could she, but luckily it was last day of school so everyone was in hurry to leave the school. Which meant no time for bullying.
I didn't seen her since that. 3 months, i was texting with her occasionally. I would also sometimes think about her. The thought of young boy, impure, i hated myself for that, as she was my hope and i was thinking about tainting her with my evil. A title came to me at that time. Demons bride. I started writing a new story. The story that i haven't managed to finish.