i. Sharma, Hamilton
Minisode 1: Acting Out!
The camera opens to an office. A familiar head of raven hair can be seen sitting in a chair, a cunning smile on her lips.
Kristal turns to the camera. “Are we ready?”
“We’re rolling!” A familiar, tubby voice shouts from behind the camera. Kristal winks at Emily, who takes a few steps back until she’s out of the frame.
“Welcome back, fans of Disventure Camp! I’m your host, Kristal MacLane!” She spreads her arms apart. There’s distant cheering behind the camera from some of the crew members.
“It’s been a year since you watched Season 2, and two years since you watched Season 1. Fourteen contestants duking it out for the title of the winner, and the million dollar cash prize that comes with it.”
Kristal steps off of her chair, walking forward. The camera follows her. “We’ve crowned two winners so far in our quest to be the best reality television show across the globe. But don’t get too excited, because this isn’t Season 3.” She smirks, crossing her arms.
“We’ve decided to do a little segment, called-” She pauses, waving her hands over her face. “Disventure Camp: Where Are They Now? A bit basic, I know, but this cast is anything but.”
Emily makes a small ooooo noise.
“Our top eighteen contestants from both generations have moved on! Started to live different lives!” Kristal announces. “But if this segment does well, who knows? There might be more in store for our former campers than you’d assume.”
Kristal stops in front of the camera, fanning her face. “Here, we’ve compiled two interviews on our top two most famous debut stars!” She puts a hand on her hip, grinning. “Are you ready to see what they’ve been up to? Because I am!”
Emily stares with an intrigued grin. Marcus looks on, while Nina stifles a giggle. Oliver stands confidently next to Kristal, adjusting his glasses.
“Without further ado, let’s introduce the breakout star of Season 1! From kind and hopeful, to playing dirty to achieve her dreams, it’s Riya !”
Riya Sharma: 2nd on Season 1
The camera cuts to a large interview room, complete with two couches and a large television screen. Oliver and Emily sit next to one another. Oliver moves to wave at the audience, and Emily recoils a foot backwards because she thinks he deserves to die in a fire.
“Living as a Hollywood wannabe, Riya auditioned for Season 1 as a last-ditch attempt to rekindle her stardom. Luckily, the soap– Sorry, Trevor and Derek felt just a little bad, and decided to sacrifice their gender balance to cast her.” Emily rolls her eyes, displaying a few photos of Riya on the television.
Oliver, however, looks a lot happier to be there.
“She was quick to respond, and far quicker to arrive, being the first camper to arrive!” He added.
Emily adjusts her sunglasses, boredly glancing at the camera. “Riya started the game on the Teal Team, with teammates Drew, Miriam, Dan, Gabby, Grett, Tom.” She quirks an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes at the camera with a smirk. “An awful lot to start with, but girlie made it work, I applaud her.”
“And Grett made quick work of her! Riya and Grett became a power alliance, and during the first challenge, they managed to rope in geriatric granny Miriam and lonely lunatic Gabby.” Emily rolls her eyes yet again.
Turning on the television behind her, the screen cuts to Riya, nervously holding her hands together at the elimination ceremony.
“But Grett wasn’t the only one with her sights set on Riya. Alec formed a cross-team alliance with her after clocking how utterly desperate she was for the money.” Emily rolls her eyes, as if empathy was about as foreign to her as color theory was.
“It was very sad to watch. Broke people are no fun.” She adds, flexing her wrist.
“And in the end, she stuck by her alliance for the next few challenges. But after being pushed around and mistreated, Riya aided her alliancemates in a conspiracy against her team! But sadly, that conspiracy blew up in her face– one of them defected, and Riya’s closest ally was voted out!” Oliver gasped, his hair poofing up for extra emphasis.
“And luckily for that ally, her game didn’t end there!” Oliver pumps his fist in the air.
“Unluckily for her,” Emily flips the screen to footage of Riya, sitting alone at her campsite. “That left Ellie from the Purple Team to be swapped onto the Teal Team, who was already touchy-feely with Gabby.”
“Miss Emily, I feel like that’s a little inappropri–”
Emily responded as naturally as possible, by shoving her hand in Oliver’s grubby little face. “And Riya was almost unanimously eliminated! An immunity totem ended up saving her ass, though, because she played it on herself, leaving Miriam as the unlucky last pre-merge boot.”
Oliver nervously fiddled with the remote, flicking to the next slide.
“Riya allied herself with villains during the merge, over her former so-called friends. After a few choice words–” Emily was cut off, staring at Oliver with as much distaste as she could muster.
“--Riya dismantled the main alliance single-handedly! She was sent here on big business!” Oliver concluded, throwing his hands up excitedly. Emily, swallowing down the urge to stab him, nodded her head unenthusiastically.
“She sowed discord amongst all the relatively okay people left, and directly snipped… Who?” Emily narrowed her eyes, stopping to think.
“Dan.” Oliver supplied, clearly unsure.
Emily snaps her fingers. “Dan’s chances of winning the million bucks! Right! But in the end, Riya continued to mow her way through the competition! But despite her work, she wasn’t quite ready to make it far.”
“And her closest ally, was sent packing at the hands of the other alliance! Those two have been up to biiiiig things, I assume.” Emily wiggles her eyebrows, much to Oliver’s absolute horror.
“A– Anyway! After the eliminations of her closest allies, she was up against and entire group in the final four! Naturally, she kept winning challenge after challenge, and brutally betrayed her bestie at top four.” Oliver sighed.
Emily, however, continued to check her nails. “Riya fought like hell. She sabotaged and cheated her way to the end, and went up against two ALLIES for the finale. Which— Stupid move in my opinion! And after leaving little old granny Mavis to die, Riya made top two.”
Oliver grins. “Let’s see where she is now! Trevor, Derek, take it away!”
Trevor and Derek wheeled in a smaller, more focused television. Derek rolls it over Trevor’s foot on accident, who yelps in response.
The television cuts to a small video recording. Riya sits in a chair facing a vanity. She’s in her dressing room, with makeup artists and hairstylists at her side. “Come on, is this thing on?” She snarks, looking directly at the camera. “Oh– That’s the webcam. Hello, Disventure Camp fans~! It is such a pleasure to be reunited with you all, and outside the big screen.”
Riya fans her face, crossing her legs over one another. “Filming for Black Widow’s Gambit has just wrapped up, and I’ve been very busy lately.” She adjusts her ponytail as a crew member leans over to brush one of her bangs backwards.
Grinning over at the camera, she crosses her arms. “But trust me, you’ll be seeing a lot more from me soon.”
Taking a sheet of paper from one of her assistants, Riya flips her sunglasses up to her head. She narrows her eyes along the paper. “These are supposed to be hard? Pfft.”
“First question, what was my best game move? Absolutely splitting the Heroes’ alliance. Tom didn’t know what hit him, and he still thinks he was cut out to be a spy? Unbelievably fucking pathetic! It’s like he was asking–” Riya scoffs. But as soon as she speaks, she holds her tongue. “...Sorry about that. Cameras and all.”
“Second question, who did you meet on the show that has changed your life? Absolutely, Alec. We’ve even tied the knot,” Riya rolls her eyes, showing off her engagement ring. “Cheap bastard. But, he is intelligent, and he can hold his ground. I’ve… I have grown to appreciate his company.”
“Third question. If you could go back and change a game move you made, what would it be?” Riya pauses for a moment, chewing at her lip. “Probably sticking beside Grett for so long. She’s fun, but believe me, I could have thrived earlier without walking behind her like some idiot wounded gazelle.”
“Fourth question, describe yourself in five words.” She takes a moment to think. “Success comes naturally to me.”
“And final question, would you be interested…” Riya pauses to gasp, covering her mouth.
“Interesting words for our runner-up! She seems like she’s got it all. An admittedly ugly man, a stable career… What more could someone dream of?” Kristal exclaimed, checking her nails.
Turning the other direction, her smile turns into a menacing grin. “But on the opposite side of success, here comes our second interview-ee! From being excluded out of his first vote, to being unanimously crowned the loser at his last!” Kristal snickers.
“From naive and well meaning to corrupted and demeaning, it’s Jake, from Season 2!”
Jake Hamilton: 4th on Season 2
Trevor threw his arms out, desperate to mimic the feeling of hosting. Emily stood up and walked beside him, shoving the television to the side. It rolls on its stand, right over Derek, and off behind the stage.
Oliver watches on, mortified, before realizing that it’s his cue.
“Jake applied to Season 2, looking for another shot at love. He was another quick responder, but it was mostly out of confusion– He forgot he even auditioned.” Emily waved a dismissive hand, while Derek recovered from being mowed down. “He got placed on the Green Team, with Kai, Connor, Ally, Tess, Yul, and Hunter.”
“And speaking of Hunter! He and Jake formed a close relationship! But this game isn’t meant for friendships, and someone else knew it!” Oliver gasps again, as if he hadn’t been at camp for the entirety of the second season.
Emily narrows her eyes, wishing she wasn’t sitting next to Captain Obvious.
“At their first team ceremony, after Yul harassed Maggy over a simple kiss, Jake, Kai and Connor banded together to try and get Yul eliminated. But Hunter decided that there was a more beneficial ally to him than Jake, and decided to work with them instead.” Emily shrugs. “Guess that blew up in his face. Or not, considering–”
“Save that for Hunter’s interview!” Trevor huffed.
“Do interns tell co-hosts what to do now? It must be Opposite Day. In that case– Oliver, I’m in love with you.” Emily cackles, ignoring Oliver’s face turning beet red. Trevor cringed.
“Anyways!” Oliver interrupts her, once again. “Jake, in the midst of his sulking, ended up finding an advantage in the woods that allowed him to swap teams! After not-so careful consideration, he immediately axed one of the members off of the Green Team, swapping her out with Lake! How devious!”
Emily quirks an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Devious??”
“Lake and Jake quickly formed a close friendship. And with Yul already sinking his claws into Jake, he finally managed to turn things around and gain the majority on his team– But things were just heating up! His feud with Hunter, and one-sided hatred of Tess, brought about one of the nastiest bitch-outs of the season. Marcus, roll the clip!”
Marcus rolls out the television at Oliver’s request once again, running over Derek a third time.
The camera cuts to a scene of Jake storming away from Hunter, pressing his hands against his ears.
“--Well, you can screw right off with that! Am I clear enough?!” Jake crosses his arms, turning away from Hunter. “I’m not listening! La-la-la-la!”
“Jake, I’m not gonna fight you on this,” Hunter groans, wishing he wasn’t stuck doing the equivalent of babysitting.
“Then don’t! Nobody’s asking you to stick around, and I don’t want to talk to you! How many times do I have to make myself clear?!” Jake snapped, stepping off of the log he’d been sitting on. Hunter glances off to the side, clearly uncomfortable.
“I’m not going to leave you here upset.” Hunter argues. “I want to help you. I’m going to help you.”
“You can’t help anybody but yourself, you selfish asshole! Just leave me alone already! If you’re that concerned with sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, maybe try with Tess again!” Jake clenched his fists, turning away from Hunter.
“Don’t talk about her–”
“I can say whatever I want at this point, Hunter!” Jake swiftly interrupts him. “And you don’t get to dictator that for me! Wait– No… Dick… I, um… Dictate– I dunno! You don’t get to, you selfish, lying, manipulative, conniving, anemic, asshole, Yul-liking, lazy piece of–”
The camera cuts back to the interview room.
“Yep!” Emily giggles, covering her lips.
“Mess-y, that one. Luckily for the fujoshis in the fandom, though, he and Hunter had some mushy-mushy cuddle time before the first merged challenge. They didn’t win, but hey! At least they didn’t die out there.”
“And during the merge, he struggled. A lot! After forming some kind of alliance with Yul of all people, his allies began distancing themselves. Balancing a friendship between a powerful duo like that was a lot for him to handle, because that night, he let one of them go home without a second thought!” Oliver went to gasp again, but Emily reached over and chopped him in the throat. That was clearly a bust. Emily wiped off her nails, before continuing for him.
“He dedicated himself to making sure those traitors, as he called them, ended up on the Bus of Losers. Firstly, he and Lake joined in on the votes to kick off Ally. But what he didn’t see coming was a new inclusion to the game– And that new inclusion was Karol!”
Oliver coughed, clearing out his throat. “Remember that friendship with Yul? Turns out, Karol found out that he was manipulating Jake, because of course he was! It’s Yul, you guys! And her solution? Also manipulating Jake!”
“Jake and Karol had a few heart-to-hearts, and she did have a point in telling him about the man pulling the strings. but ultimately, he was just another pawn in her game.” Oliver noted. “He went completely off the rails. Literally. And by that, I mean–"
“By crashing into another duo’s, and sending one of them home on account of a few broken ribs.” Emily scoffed. “Like I said, deranged…”
“And he ended up crashing, and burning, until not even the season villains could handle his shit anymore. And so, three votes for Jake, two backstabbers, one vote for Hunter, and a trip on the Bus of Losers was all that was waiting for him back at the bus stop. How sad. Look, I’m crying.” She sheds a single tear.
“Anyway!” Oliver waves frantically. “Let’s see where he’s at now! Marcus, the video!”
Derek immediately dove out of the way as Marcus rolled the television set back towards the main stage. Trevor was adjusting the curtains the entire time… For some reason.
The screen cuts to static, and then the footage. The camera is recording a bakery. We watch as Jake fixes his vest, handing off a plate of pastries to one of his guests. He seems a little strung-out, but the second he sees the camera, he jumps. After a few seconds of silence, Jake brushes off his sweater, folding his hands inf ront of him.
“A-Already?!” Jake offers a smile, seeming a little nervous. “Well- Well, I, um… Alright, I guess I can offer some time.”
The camera then cuts to Jake sitting across from the cameraman. “Hey-hey, fans of Disventure Camp! Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He laughs. His eyes don’t quite meet the smile crossing his face.
“Definitely has been. I’ve opened up a little bakery outside of town.” He smiles. The cameraman makes some comment, and whatever it is makes Jake’s eye twitch, similarly to Hunter’s jeans whenever he catches a glimpse of Tess showing a singular inch of her ankle.
“First question, I got this! Best game move?” Jake taps his chin. “That’s… Well, I dunno. I’m just so not proud of myself after my season, and– I want to change! I’m trying to change. I’m a better person than who I was, so my answer is nothing!”
“Second question! Have I met anyone that changed my life? Nope. Haven’t talked to Hunter! Or Lake. Or Tess. Or Ally. Or anyone, actually– Let me just– See that…” Jake reaches forward, flipping the paper over to himself. “Much better! Now I can actually answer your questions! Isn’t this way better than an interview?” Jake forces a grin, the corner of his lips twitching.
“Third question! If you could go back, would…” He pauses, narrowing his eyes at the paper. “Next question, please.”
“Describe yourself in five words! Oooh, this one’s fun! Let’s see, I’m… Hardworking, and a little overbearing, and kind of an asshole, and a total idiot, and… That’s more than five words. Shit. Can we– Just redo that whole thing?” Jake grumbled.
“...What do you mean it’s live?! What?!” Jake whined as the cameraman moved to speak to him again.
“Okay! Okay, fine!” Jake waves his hands away. “And final question. Let me…” He leans forward to read it, his eyes widening.
"Interesting..." Kristal grins, turning back to the camera. "And those are our two for today."
"If you're interested, make sure to support this fic by leaving kudos and a comment! Trust me, you won't just be seeing these two. There are sixteen more interviews in store, all dedicated to members of our new and upcoming season! So, keep an eye out for!" Kristal threw her arms out one last time, and the camera began to zoom out.
"Disventure! Camp!"