You sit on the edge of your bed, willing your body into keeping you from plonking back onto the welcoming arms of the mattress with every bit of your strength. You rub your eyes, ignoring the persistent throb in your temples. Feeling around for your slippers with your feet, you slide them on and get up to make your way to the kitchen. Your bathrobe hangs loosely from your shoulders, ends of the belt falling free, untied.
You stagger towards the kitchen with your eyes half closed and let out a wide yawn. You can’t remember the last time you got a good night’s sleep. Sleep is such a rare commodity these days, you’ve learnt how to take naps even as your body powers through the mundane chores of human existence. Like at this very moment. Every muscle that forms you aches, you’re so tired, been tired for what feels like ages now. Your uncombed hair is strewn all over your face. You know you look like crap but you don’t have the tenacity to care. Having a new born requires more work than an S-rank mission, and you’ve barely had the time or capacity to look after yourself.
Although if it weren’t for Kakashi, you would’ve lost your sanity by now. He’s been the best through it all, a true companion.
He’s stayed up till odd hours to let you sleep through innumerable restless nights, strolling around the entire house with a bawling Sakumo in his arms, trying to rock him to sleep. You’ve woken up on countless mornings to the sight of your husband passed out on the couch, with your son finally asleep on his chest, drool leaking down both their mouths. It’s quite a sight and no matter how many times you’ve seen it, it’s one that always tugs at your heartstrings. There’s even a picture on the fridge, much to the copy ninja’s mortification.
Kakashi has gone out of his way to grow into his new role as a father. He’s changed diapers, sung off-tune lullabies and replaced his Icha Icha with books on parenting and fatherhood. In spite of his Hokage duties, he hasn’t slacked when it came to dedicating his time to baby Sakumo and also you, coming home early on most nights to cook you dinner, just so you could have a little respite.
“We’re in this together, y/n. You’ve already done so much, brought our child into the world, let me do my part now.”, he’d say to you whenever you tried to take on too much. You were both new to this, you made mistakes and you learnt from them, but you couldn’t imagine sharing this ride with anyone other than Kakashi.
In all fairness though, it wasn’t always a smooth ride. Many a night, Kakashi would wake up drenched in sweat, shaking and hyperventilating in the middle of the night because he had a nightmare about losing the both of you. And you’d hold him in your arms until he calmed down, assuring him again and again that no one would take you both away from him, nothing would snatch away those he held close, not this time. Then again sometimes it’d be you, breaking down in the middle of the day, sobbing uncontrollably and doubting yourself, thinking you aren’t good enough. And Kakashi would be right beside you, holding you tight and stroking your hair, whispering affirmations into your ear until you could breathe again. But no matter what came your way, you and Kakashi were together, getting each other through it all, and he was as amazing a father to your child as he was a husband to you.
One time when you’d felt particularly exhausted, he’d almost shoved you out of the house. “Go out and do something for yourself y/n, whatever relaxes your mind. I got everything under control here.” He’d said, but halfway through your way to the spa, you’d turned around and come back, not quite ready to part with your child yet. So, he’d drawn you a warm bath at home, lit your favourite candles and put your favourite music on, providing you the lavish spa experience within the very walls of your home.
Of course, it wasn’t all exhaustion and sleepless nights. This child meant everything to you and Kakashi, having him brought the two of you closer than ever. Watching him grow up in front of your eyes, raising him together, it filled you with a kind of joy very rarely relished in the blood-stained shinobi world that you lived in.
Right now, however, you just need your first hit of caffeine to give you the necessary jolt to get you through the day. You fumble around on the kitchen counter, trying to locate the coffeemaker with your sleep ridden eyes so you can brew a cup of coffee.
Your hands find the machine and you notice there’s freshly made coffee inside already. Kakashi.
You get ahold of a mug, every drop you pour into it filling your heart with the same warmth as the coffee your husband so thoughtfully made for you; as you wonder, not for the first time in your life, what you ever did to deserve this man as your husband.
Taking a blissful sip, you turn around to catch the father-son duo on the dining table ahead, your son such a striking image of his father, although with your hazel eyes. You lean back on the counter, watching Kakashi as he sits on the chair feeding spoonfuls of baby food to Sakumo, who’s perched on the table in front of him.
You watch one of the five kages, the invincible, internationally feared copy ninja baby talking in sing-gong voices, making all sorts of animal noises and hand gestures to your child, the sight turning your heart into a slimy mush. You can’t stop the hearty chuckle that escapes your mouth.
Kakashi turns to you, having only noticed you just now.
“Oh look! Mama’s awake! Good morning mama, say good morning mama!”, he croons, holding Sakumo’s tiny hand in his large ones and waving it at you.
You laugh, taking your weight off the counter and walking towards them with the mug of coffee in your hand.
“Good morning, my two precious boys” you sing, “and thanks for the coffee”, you say, kissing Kakashi on the mouth as you wipe a smear of wet baby food off his vest. You go on to plant a few kisses on baby Sakumo’s head, the silvery wisps of his hair tickling your lips, before sitting down on the chair beside Kakashi.
Kakashi goes back to feeding your son as you take the unopened newspaper sitting on the table and start flipping through the pages, letting every sip of coffee energize your soul.
“Open wide, here comes the choo choo!” You hear Kakashi chime as he continues to babble all sorts gibberish to your son while you read on, stifling a laugh that’s threatening to burst out of you.
This was another of the father and son’s routine every day. Kakashi would wake up before you, freshen Sakumo up and feed him his breakfast before leaving for work. It’d give you a few more hours to sleep every morning and you were very grateful for it.
“Open your mouth pup! Let dada feed you! Can you say dada? Da-da! Say da-da! Mama and Dada love you so much!”
You smile to yourself, listening to the merriment in Kakashi’s voice. Having Sakumo had truly wiped out even the last remnants of darkness from his heart. He was a happy man now and you were a lucky woman.
You hear Sakumo making gurgling noises with his mouth, drool slobbering down the corners of his tiny mouth.
“Aw baby, come here, let mama clean you up” you look up from your newspaper and reach over, using his bib to wipe the drool off, before going back to the International section.
The caffeine has started to work its magic and you’re feeling better now.
“d…dd..ddda-da”
Another gurgling noise, but almost a clear enunciation this time. Your head shoots up, eyebrows rising up in shock and every other sense in your body suddenly heightened. Your eyes dart in Kakashi’s direction and you see the look on your face mirrored on his, his arm holding the spoon hanging mid-air.
“D-did he just…?” he stutters
“Sakumo, baby, what did you just say? Did you say dada? Can you say it again?” you sputter, your voice quavering as you hastily get up from your chair and come around to stand beside Kakashi, facing Sakumo.
“d..da-da”, Sakumo coos, even clearer this time, squealing and flailing his baby arms around.
Your let out a gasp, your hand shooting up to your mouth in surprise as you feel your eyes welling up and hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Your heart feels like it’s made of rainbow, you’re so overwhelmed with pure joy, you feel as if you’ve never known true joy before.
Kakashi is frozen is his place, you see his hands shaking before he tosses the spoon away and pulls his son into his lap, smothering his baby face with kisses. He holds Sakumo up in his arms, touching his forehead to his own.
“Pup!!!”, he exclaims in a gasp.
You rub Kakashi’s back with one hand and hold Sakumo’s little hand with the other.
“You said dada! Yes, dada! Can you say it again?” you say, salty tears meeting your tongue inside your mouth as you speak.
“da-da”, Sakumo coos again on his father’s lap.
Kakashi looks up at you and you see a look you’ve never seen on his face before. His eyes are twinkling, shining brighter than the stars and his cheeks are glistened with tears. A grin trembles on his lips as he swiftly pulls you to him by your waist, burying his head in your stomach. His other hand holds Sakumo, clutching his son close to his chest on his lap.
You feel Kakashi’s shoulders rising and falling as you put one arm around each of your boys, weeping into Kakashi’s hair.
You crouch down by the chair now, hugging the two most precious people in your life close as you and Kakashi shower Sakumo as well as each other with an infinite string of kisses, between tears and laughter.
Sakumo coos on, repeating his first proper word, squealing as his parents hug him, the three of you together, your own little family.
Soon enough, Sakumo is asleep on Kakashi’s lap, his squeals of laughter replaced by soft snoring as his full belly brings over a drowsiness in him. You scoop him up carefully and lay him down on his small bed, covering him up with his small shuriken printed blanket and placing a kiss on his forehead before leaving the nursery.
Sweeping the stray strands of hair away from your face and putting it up in a bun, you go back into the dining room to find Kakashi getting ready to leave.
“Leaving already? You’ve still got about a half an hour, don’t you?”, you call out to him, checking the time on the clock.
“There’s something I need to do”, he says, coming around to you and kissing your head.
You don’t ask him what it is, because you already know.
You ask him to wait for a minute, and disappear into the next room. Confusion materializes on his face, but he obliges.
You come back holding a few white lilies in your hands, ones that you’d grown yourself.
“Take these”, you say holding the flowers out to Kakashi.
He gapes at you, a look of surprise flashing through his eyes, before they soften and beam at you with a look that can only be described as that of pure love and gratitude.
“Thank you, y/n.” he says softly, taking the flowers from your hand with a kiss on your lips, and heading off towards the door.
You close the door behind him, and walk up to the window which allows you a view of the long winding road that ultimately leads to the Konoha Cemetery. You smile to yourself as Kakashi’s figure appears on the lane, there’s almost a bounce in the way he walks today, and you watch civilians on their way stop to bow to him in respect as he returns the gesture. You keep watching him, until his frame becomes a little dot along the meander, before disappearing completely.
Your heart is tinged bittersweet as you smile into the horizon, thinking of Kakashi. You think of how happy he must be today. How his eyes would sparkle, when he narrates to his father in a slightly wavering voice, about the first time his grandson Sakumo called his son “dad”.
And how he’d close his eyes in prayer ,thanking his father for watching over him and pouring his blessings down on his son’s little family; because what more could it be, than by a sprinkle of blessing from the White Fang himself, that baby Sakumo would say his first words to his father on the very day of the departed warrior’s birth anniversary?