Wait— You want me to do what?

Naruto
G
Wait— You want me to do what?
author
Summary
Gaara is twenty-seven, unemployed and looking for a job with no luck. After going to Konoha City to meet with an old family friend who promised help him find a job he quickly gets dragged into a rather.... unusual situation.
Note
A heads up, I have no plans to take this fic anywhere. It’s honestly more of an unfished Drabble. Enjoy.
All Chapters Forward

Chapter 2

 

******************

Nara Sports and Drinks Bar

 

Gaara stood there staring at the blonde for a very long moment waiting for everyone to start laughing at the terrible joke.

 

"You are joking, correct?" Gaara asked, before seeing how serious everyone's faces looked. Naruto shook his head.

 

"No, im not. I need you to be my husband." The blonde states firmly. "So starting today we are married, got it?" Gaara blinked, and unsure how to process this sudden proposal. 'I have been Konoha City only one day and I have already gotten proposed to." Gaara thought, 'and from a sort-of attractive man.' 

 

"Ah- but um it's not like a real marriage of course." Naruto babbled. "Just gotta pretend to be my husbands is all."

 

"Pretend?" Gaara murmured curious and a little lost from this turn of events. 

 

"Yep, you didn't think this was like a real marriage or anything did you silly? No, when I marry I will marry for love." Gaara stood, silent half wanting to yell and half wanting to just turn and walk away from him entirely. 

 

"I take that as a yes? Sweet, now our fake marriage is established." Naruto said ready to turn back to his ramen. (He had gotten a second while everyone was drinking.)

 

"I did not agree." Gaara said firmly and the blondes eye went wide. 

 

"Why? Tell me what's bothering you?"

 

"Many things." Gaara replied, still stiff from the awkwardness of the conversation. "I will start with the fact that I have no desire to marry someone I have only just met." 

 

"Hey- I said it was a fake marriage." Naruto interrupted. 

 

"Like a role play couple?" Kiba suggested and Choji frowned.

 

"No, because they wouldn't be legally married."

 

"Wait- what's a role play couple?" Lee wondered.

 

"How about faux couple?" 

 

"Nah- make believe couple." 

 

"Couple deceiving the world fits better." Sasuke said finally.

 

"I vote for Sasukes naming sense." Shikamaru said raising his glass in a toast. 

 

"Does it really matter what we call it?" Naruto said with a frown and Kiba and Lee nodded enthusiastically. The blonde shrugged. "Fine, well there ya have it. Got it?" 

 

"Explain why you need this." Gaara said and Naruto scrunched his face in a childish frowns. "I won't be able to make a decision if you don't."

 

"Why?"

 

"Dobe, just do it. He seems like he isn't going to budge." Sasuke said with a smirk and Naruto gave an exaggerated sigh. 

 

"Fine. Look, I work at an old style all girls school. Most of the teachers are usually girls but the few male teachers they do have are required to be married. When they were hiring I lied and said that I was engaged. Which means if they find out I'm not, I could get fired. I think the vice prez might be on to me so..." Naruto scratched the back of head a bit sheepishly.

 

"I decline." Gaara said bluntly. 

 

"Huh?" The blonde blonde and stared at him, clearly not expecting that response. 

 

"Gaara, it would only be for a few days." Kiba said sympathetically. 

 

"Yeah, dobe here didn't explain it all very well which cause a misunderstanding Sasuke said with a smirk. 

 

"Shut up, I like to talk about the end result is all." Naruto grumbled.

 

"Anyway, it's not like your going to be pretending for years. Just a few days, long enough to throw the vice prez off his trail." Sasuke continued, blatantly ignoring Naruto. 

 

"Yeah, maybe a month at most? It could be fun!" Lee said with a grin. 'Pretending to be married...' Gaara thought with a glance in Shikamaru direction. 'He agreed to help me on the basis that I do him a favor, which turned out to be this. If I refuse he likely won't help me.' Gaara thought unhappily, recalling the countless insincere job rejection letters and suits in the hot desert air of his hometown Suna. After weighing the pros and cons Gaara reluctantly agreed. 

 

"Very well, I will be your fake husband." 

 

"Awesome!" Naruto grinned, as he quickly reached for Gaara's luggage. "Let's get going before you change your mind." 

 

"Where are we going?" The redhead asked.

 

"My place but no worries, it's not far from here." He replied and that bad feeling rose up again in the red head.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because your living with me, duh. We can't pretend to be married if we live apart. I mean come on, were you just going to What- wear a sign saying hi I'm Naruto's husband all the time or something?" Naruto with a laugh and Gaara cast glance at Shikamaru again, who was smiling. 'He is smiling like the devil.' Gaara thought suppressing a shudder. "Come on sandman!" Naruto yelled already leaving and Gaara followed after.

 

"Hmm. Too close to get a cab. Guess we'll just have to walk." Naruto muttered to himself as he eyed the street and then the bag. "Hey Gaara, you better remember how to get back here okay? Cuz if I get drunk I'm having you come pick me up! Just like a real married couple." He said with a loud laugh. "

 

"Pardon me, however I have several questions I need to ask you." The redhead stated. 

 

"That sounds like a lot." Naruto said with a sigh. "Just- I dunno pick three. I'll only answer three questions." The blonde started walking lugging the big bag behind him. "Walk and talk sandman~" Naruto called over his shoulder. The blonde almost dropped the bag before adjusting his grip on it. The redhead knew it was not a light bag.

 

"Would you like for me to carry it?"

 

"Huh? No it's fine." 

 

"Your struggling with it-"

 

"Don't worry about."

 

"However-"

 

"Sandman, I've got it so just shut about it." Naruto said not looking over at the redhead. "And anyway, what about those three questions. What's the first one?" 

 

"Why do you insist on calling me Sandman?" Gaara asked and the blonde nearly fell over as he turned to look back at him,

 

"Of all the The questions you could have asked that's what you pick?" Naruto said with shock on his face. "What about questions about my place or like the life you'll be living or- something. Aren't you worried like at all?" 

 

"Yes I am worried." Gaara admitted, "however I was unable able to get that out of my head." Naruto raised his brow but shrugged.

 

"Fine, its your choice. I call you sandman because your face reminds me of sand. Its a cute nickname right?" The blonde said with a grin and Gaara just blinked. 'My face reminds him of sand.' He thought. 'Why does my face remind him of sand?' Gaara wondered, already getting the feeling that Naruto would be someone nearly impossible to understand.

 

"That's rude." Gaara said finally, unsure of how else to respond.

 

"But you do, and besides we'll seem more like a married couple if we have nicknames." Naruto explained. 

 

"True." Gaara replied, "then what about you?" 

 

"Nicknames are my thing. Not my style." The blonde said with a shrug and Gaara paused thinking for a moment. 

 

"So I should simply call you Husband everytime we are in front of others?" Naruto grunted, and wrinkled his nose.

 

"Okay fine, nickname. Uh- I dunno just you pick one." Gaara blinked.

 

"You want me to choose?"

 

"Yeah." 

 

"Very well, how about darling?" The redhead suggested and Naruto just looked at him like he had gone insane.

 

"What kind of couple says that in this day and age?" Gaara felt his ears turn red. 'I would.' He thought for a moment before trying to think of something different. 

 

"Would you prefer Baby?" 

 

"No- ew." Naruto said with a shake of his. "I'm not a baby, don't call me a baby." 

 

"What do you suggest then?" Gaara said, mildly exasperated. 

 

"Just call me Naruto or Naru." The blonde said as they started walking again. Cars zoomed by on the street and Gaara eyed each vehicle with distrust.

 

"One question down, two to go." Naruto said. "So, what's the second?" Gaara hesitated, partially because car headlights made him momentarily blind and partially because he didn't want to sound like some pre-teen Girl. 

 

"I would like to know why you chose me." The redhead said, dodging around the uneven pavement and water puddles in the sidewalk. 

 

"What do ya mean?" Naruto said with a frown.

 

"I would imagine you are not struggling to find partner, so why would you choose me to play your fake husband?" 

 

"Ah, well yeah I get plenty of guys and girls interested but I don't want this thing to go from fake to real ya know?" 

 

"Fake to real?"

 

"Yeah, i don't want to argue with someone about them wanting to stay and see if it could work out or whatever." Naruto said with a shrug. "I kinda like my life as it is. People can be weird, and I feel like you wouldn't be all clingy. It also helps that Shikamaru has the whole job thing over your head so you'll listen to him if all else fails." Naruto shrugged.

 

"I see. You were not going to say some excuse such as, we make a good couple?" Gaara said, attempting to make a joke. 

 

"Yeah, That too." The redhead felt his heart skip a beat as he glanced at the blonde. 'I was trying to make a joke." Gaara thought.

 

"Yeah, I feel like I would marry someone like you someday. Probably way in the future after I date lots of beautiful men and woman. I'll learn it's not all about beauty and then settle down with some nice relaxing plain person like you."

 

"That is rude. I believe you watch too much television." Gaara replied and Naruto laughed.

 

"Aww but it's true!" 

 

"I am confident you have been in plenty of relationships." Gaara said sarcastically. 

 

"I have." Naruto admitted honestly.

 

"Oh? How many might that be?" 

 

"Eh, dunno. I haven't actually ever stopped to count." Gaara eyed the happy go lucky blonde. 'I think this guy is actually telling the truth.' Gaara thought blinking. 'Who would date this airhead?' 

 

"What about you? How many have you dated?" The blonde asked. 'It's only fair I suppose.' Gaara decided, 'should I exaggerate?' He wondered breifly. 'though if I do he will likely find out about it later somehow.' Gaara decided to go for the truth.  "Real relationships, none of those highschool shams." Naruto added and Gaara nodded, mentally adjusting the number.

 

"Very well. Three." The redhead answered, opting for the truth. 

 

"Wait- like total?" 

 

"Yes." 

 

"Oh, I thought you meant like three at once or something." Naruto mumbled and Gaara paused to stare at him. 'What sort of relationships has he been in?' Gaara wondered. 

 

"So a guy with no romance skills get to be pretend married to me..." the blonde gave a mischievous laugh, "maybe you should be thanking me!"

 

"Rude."

 

"You have a problem with that?" Naruto asked.

 

"No. It is refreshingly honest." Gaara admitted, enjoying the conversation. 

 

"Right?! Honesty is like my greatest strength." Naruto let out another laugh. 'There is not a lot of small talk, despite all of this back and forth about partners and honesty.' Gaara thought, wondering vaguely how long that would continue. 

 

"Hey, we're almost there. Think you're going to make it?" Naruto asked, and Gaara nodded. 'Although I suppose I can see why he would be a popular partner. He is considerate without really trying.' Gaara thought before looking around at his surroundings. 

 

"You live in an area with numerous high rises." He observed.

 

"It's more convenient." Naruto explained, "anyway what's your final question? You had three questions and you've already used two." 

 

"You said that your school does not hire single men,"

 

"Yeah, its why you need to be my fake husband." Naruto said rolling his eyes.

 

"I understand that, however why did you not choose to apply somewhere else? There are plenty of high schools nearby." Gaara asked, curious about why Naruto would have lied just to work at this one school. Abruptly the blonde stopped walking, the smile now wiped from his face. Naruto didn't speak, staring straight ahead for a long moment and Gaara felt something knot inside hit gut. 'Perhaps, I said something I shouldn't have?' He thought, curious and slightly concerned. Just when Gaara was going to say something, an apology or maybe change the subject completely, Naruto turned towards the redhead and pulled him into a hug. 

 

"Sandman." Naruto mumbled and Gaara blinked confused at his behavior. "Sandman." He mumbled again.

 

"Naruto please let go of me." Gaara said, squirming slightly, and Naruto huffed. 

 

"Hold still and listen will ya?" He whispered into Gaara's ear frustration leaking into his voice. "Your too stiff, act more natural."

 

"How?" Gaara whisper back, confused by the blondes sudden behavior. 

 

"Like this." Naruto responded, tugging the redhead forward a bit. "Put your head on my shoulder." Hesitantly Gaara compiled and was now practically nose to nose with the blonde."geez, relax a bit more would ya? Hold me like your scared of letting go or something." Unsure of what he meant, Gaara wrapped his arm around the blondes waist and swallowed. 'His eyes are very blue.' The redhead realized, now that he was faced with almost nothing else to look at. 

 

"Why-"

 

"Shush, just follow my lead okay?" Naruto replied as he pulled away slightly but wrapped his arm around Gaara waist. It was like this- wrapped up together that Gaara and Naruto continued walk-in down the sidewalk together. 'If I am not careful I will trip over his feet trying to walk like this." Gaara thought concentrating on not falling on his face. Just when the two were about to pass by someone for the first time since they left- the person called out to them.

 

"Mr.Uzumaki!" Naruto came to a stop and glanced over.

 

"Oh, hello Vice Principal." Naruto replied and Gaara felt his insides squeeze tightly. 'The reason he was acting so friendly then, was to show off to him.' Gaara realized, as nerves threatened to overwhelm him. As though confirming what Gaara realized Naruto was refusing to unwrap his hand from where it was around his waist. Gaara glanced at the vice principal, seeing the traditional styled suit and briefcase.

 

"Your going home late tonight, Mr. Kabuto." Naruto replied and the man nodded.

 

"Yes well I had a few errands I needed to run first." He said before shifting his eyes over to Gaara. "It is inappropriate for an instructor to be making out in public." He scolded and Gaara had a weird feeling that he was being told off rather than Naruto. 

 

"Making out, sir?" Naruto said, tilting his head slightly.

 

"I saw you from afar. You were leaving over and and whispering something into his ear." The middle aged man responded quickly.  

 

"Oh." Naruto said with a nod and Gaara felt his ears turn red. 

 

"We must set an example for the students. I don't want their guardians seeing such behavior either." 

 

"I understand, i just want to always stay by his side." Naruto said calmly and Mr.Kabuto sighed. 

 

"I understand that you have only recently gotten Married-"

 

"Yep, this is my husband." Naruto said proudly, cutting him off and looking back at Gaara. "And this, is my vice principal." He finished, unwrapping himself and gently pushing Gaara towards him. The redhead felt like he was being fed to sharks as Naruto cast him a look he could only assume meant- you know what you gotta do. Taking a short breath Gaara took the plunge. 

 

"Hello, I am Gaara. Naruto's husband. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I hope to get to know you better." The vice principal eyes the redhead from top to bottom and Gaara had to suppress a shudder of revulsion. 'I am not a piece of meat.' He thought.

 

"I still find it hard to believe that Mr. Uzumaki here is married." Mr. Kabuto said finally. "If I may- what made you fall in love with Naruto here?" The man asked, a sly sneer on his face.

 

"Pardon me?" Gaara said shocked, and Naruto frowned.

 

"Mr Kabuto I am sorry but-" 

 

"Oh no no, my apologies. I shouldn't have asked such a personal question." The man said and Gaara took a step back towards Naruto side. "It's simply I know Naruto is a handsome young man, and many of our other teachers discuss it all the time. He is even popular amongst the students and in my eyes seems to be enjoying single life. He didn't seem like he would be settling down anytime soon. Which was why I asked." Naruto didn't say anything. "Which part of Mr.Uzumaki of him were you attracted to?"

 

Gaara felt like he froze into place and quickly tried to think of something and said, "because he is selfish." 

 

"That's a good thing? It's not something you dislike?" The vice principal asked astonished and Gaara nodded. 'I am a fool. Did I honestly give such a stupid reason?' Gaara thought, but settled for trying to make the best of what he said.

 

"Yes. I am sure many men and woman had fallen for Naru's appearances however I doubt they would fall for a selfish man like him. Its why-" Gaara was cut off by a large hug from behind as it felt like Naruto was squeezing his lungs. 

 

"That's enough jeez. Don't say stuff like that in front of colleagues, they might actually believe it." Naruto whispered before laughing. "Alright alright, next time I will get you the chocolate. I know ya love me." Wrapped up in the hug Naruto whispered into Gaara's ear, "Remember that in case he asks again in the future." 

 

"I see." Kabuto said, still looking unconvinced. 

 

"Anyway, this is my lovely husband. We'll be getting our marriage license soon and once we have it, we'll submit it to the school." Naruto said, with a smile. "Good night vice principal." 

 

"Yes, well goodnight." Kabuto replies as Naruto slung his arm around Gaara should and started to walk away. It wasn't until later that, when Naruto looked back to check if he was gone the Naruto finally let go of the redhead. 

 

"That was a close call." Naruto said, after shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

"Indeed." Gaara replied, glancing at the blonde. "You surprised me grabbing ahold of me so suddenly." 

 

"I saw him coming so I reacted." Naruto said with a shrug. "I need to show him that we are a happily married couple ya know." 

 

"I would appreciate a warning in the future."

 

"You gotta improvise at time like that." Naruto said with a frown. "If ya cant then just think of what to say ahead of time. It's not too hard to figure out what people are going to ask newlyweds." Gaara stayed silent not sure how to respond to what was surely meant to be criticism of how he behaved. "Oh also, next time think of something more believable for why you fell for me will ya? That's like your homework for tonight." Naruto added. 'I am not your student.' Gaara thought, 'and what reason would I have for falling in love with you?' He asked himself, following after Naruto who had started walking quickly ahead. 'So far Naruto has called me numerous names, bosses me around, and simply acted rude towards me.' Gaara thought, doubting the idea that he would be able to find something good about the blonde while he stayed with him.

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