Reckoning

****************

Naruto’s house, Greenwood (43 miles east of Konoha City)

I stand in among the tree, watching as Gaara pull slightly against the ropes. I pull them tighter, and the alpha grunts but is otherwise calm. 

“What answer would you like to hear?” He asked and I narrow my eyes at him. 

“I want an admission.” I say, letting the hurt color my words. “I want you to admit what you are.” 

“Must I declare myself a monster, while you refuse to see the one growing inside you?” Gaara asks, and I frown, before tugging the robe tighter, letting it rub the Alphas throat raw. “Why not appeal to my better nature?” The alpha asked, sounding breathless and…. Appealing. 

“Didn’t know you had one.” I growled. 

“No one is truly aware of another person unless we love them. With that love, we see the potential in our beloved and through that same love we allow our beloved to see their own potential.” Gaara rasps out, watching me like I created the very sky hanging above us. 

“Apologize.” I whisper. 

“Expressing love, and our beloved potential comes true.” Gaara answers. 

“I promised you a reckoning.” I say around the lump that formed in my throat, as the ropes pull a final times, ripping through his flesh and covering my with his blood and my own tears. 

Naruto wakes with a gasp, reeling from the vivid dream. ‘I just want him to apologize.’ He thought feeling his heart ache. ‘But I doubt that will happen.’ The blonde spent the day with Kurama in the woods by house, letting himself breath in the soothing air. ‘I think I almost forgot what it felt like to feel something besides anger. Of course, the anger was just denial and hurt of feel betrayed.’ The blonde thought with a roll of his eyes, as he watch Kurama bark and roll on dirt . ‘But that doesn’t change that I felt them. That I still feel parts of them, even though now I understand them more.’ I got so wrapped up in trying to save Nagato and I didn’t even realize I was just basically just using it as an excuse to try and kill Madara. Regret and guilt bubbles up and leaned down to grab a stick to toss to Kurama. The dog barked at him and Naruto gave him a smile.

“Sorry boy, here.” The blonde threw the stick and laughed at the dog farted off to go catch it. ‘I feel guilty about not feeling any guilt.’ Naruto thought, as he crossed him arms. ‘Didn’t even know it was a thing but I know I If I had killed Madara it wouldn’t have bothered me. I wouldn’t have felt any guilt, and I probably should. I feel guilty because I didn’t feel guilty enough. How stupid.’ Naruto thought unhappily, before grabbing a new stick for Kurama to go grab. The dog never quite got the fact that he was supposed to bring the sticks back to throw again. As the sun dipped closer to the horizon the blonde gave Kurama a pat on the head before locking him inside the house and leaving. He didn’t want to be late to see Gaara after all. 

********************

Gaara’s office, downtown Konoha City 

“Do you have any regrets?” Naruto asked, as he walked into the office, Gaara waiting with a glass of wine to offer and a warm comfortable chairs. 

“Every choice hides the possibility of regret, however, if chose not to do something it typically for a very good reason.” Gaara answers. 

“I’ve realized that I’m… filled with regrets,” Naruto said slowly, as all of his past actions began to blur past his mind. ‘I regret starting this stupid plan to catch Gaara with Kakashi.’ He thought. 

“A life without regret would be no life at all.” 

“I regret what I did at the stables.” The blonde admits.

“Then you were lucky I was there.” 

“Being lucky is not the same as making a mistake.” The blonde corrected, as he recalled how Madara got away with such a light sentence while Nagato was placed in a mental institution for unstable people. ‘Madara is going to be out before him, and it’s not right or fair.’ 

“What was the mistake?” Gaara asked, leaning forward in his chair.

“The mistake was letting you stop me.” 

“You regret not pulling the trigger faster.” Gaara breathed out. The blonde nodded. The redhead blinked before saying, “then you must adapt your behavior so that you never feel such regret again.”

“Adapt.” The blonde murmured thoughtfully.

“Yes.” The alpha said. Naruto already felt changed. Adaptation doesn’t need to happen, never really needed to happen. ‘I was always more violent than others were. It’s why Jiraya taught me how to edit books as well as fight. To ground me, to keep me from slipping to far into my own dark potential.’ The blonde thought. ‘But I’ve fallen and found myself in the dark anyway, with nothing left but to fix the mistakes I made while I was pretending to be something I’m not.’ The blonde thought. “Naruto, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a version of events that you would like to happen.” The blonde blinked, before sinking into his chair and closing his eyes like Gaara asked. The blonde imagine how it would have felt to have pulled the trigger. And once again, the regret bubbled to the surface. “What do you see?” 

“A missed chance.” The blonde answered, before opening his eyes. “To feel like I felt when I killed Mikoshi. To feel….. what I felt when I thought I had killed you.” Naruto said, his voice dropping into a soft whisper as he tried to be as honest as he could with Gaara— despite everything. 

“And what does that feel like?” The redhead whispered in reply, enraptured with conversation and with the blonde sitting across from him. 

“Good.” The alpha newly purred. “Remember that feeling.” The sudden ticking sound of the Gaara’s watch going off pulled them both back out of their heads as they realized that their session was over. “I will see you again soon.” Gaara promised and the blonde nodded before leaving without responded. 

No sooner has he left the office building did a stranger walked up to the door and blinked at him.

“I tend to walk out of here in a similar state.” She said casually, pushing her long black hair out of her face. “You must be a patient of Dr.Subaku.”

“What?” The blonde said confused, before looking at the omega woman in front of him. 

“You see familiar.” She continues, “I either know you or know of you…” She trails off waiting for him to offer his name. 

“I’m the guy that didn’t kill all of those people.” The blonde nearly growled, as he was reminded once again why he didn’t like most people in general.  Naruto left quickly, and the omega watched him go for a few moments before she pulled out her phone to look up what he meant. Only after reading all that she could did she go inside for her own appointment. 

“Hello Hinata.” Gaara said calmly, after she walked into the waiting  room. The redhead held the office door open for her, missing the conversation she’s had with Naruto entirely. “Please come in.” 

“Hello again Doctor.” She said, taking a seat across from him. 

“Our last session left off on the topic of humanity.” Gaara stated. “And we all have a gauge for humanity which twitches when see other people.” The redhead tilted his head, “What happens when you look at your brother?”

“Well my gauge for humanity certainly doesn’t pick up anything.” Hinata responds easily. 

“You do not recognize simple human trait in your brother, you dehumanize him.” Gaara sums up, “at least as much as he dehumanizes you.” 

“At least I will never be the worst person I know.” The omega says lightly. 

“The habit to see others as less human is universal.” Gaara reassured her.

“So my brother is less human?”

“And you are less human for it.” 

“Did you just dehumanize me?” Hinata questions, raising her brow at the alpha in front of her. Gaara grant her a very faint smile. 

“Psychiatrists which dehumanize patients are often more comfortable with painful but more effective treatments.” The redhead responds easily. 

“I met another patient of yours.” Hinata says suddenly, crossing her legs with all the grace of the aristocratic omega she is. “An alpha named Naruto Uzumaki.” She added, “I wonder what kind of painful but effective treatment you gave him.” 

“What do you imagine?” The redhead asked. 

“Your very supportive of me killing my brother, and I appreciate that support I really do,” the omega began, before clasping her hands together. “But I can only wonder what you would support Naruto Uzumaki I’m doing.”  Hinata leans forward. “What kind of psychiatrist are you?” She asked.

“You have already had my credentials verified and heard my reputation. You know what kind of psychiatrist I am.” Gaara responded easily and she nodded slowly.

“I’m beginning to know, yes.” 

***********************

Kaguya’s hospital for the criminally insane (next day)

Naruto ignored the uncomfortable feeling that moved under his skin as he walked through the doors. With Kakashi having called him onto a new cases involving animal attacks, the blonde figured he should speak to an animal expert. Someone he knew and trusted enough not to lie. ‘I need to face Nagato anyway. I need to be sure.’ The blonde as he walked to the visitor room. Nagato was brought in, and his hands chained to the table, but he seemed healthy enough. Almost happy. The blonde pulled out the folder of pictures he brought with him and was struck with deja-vu. ‘At one point it was me who was chained and being told to look at photos.’ The blonde thought before shaking away the mental images of Ino and her death. 

“Hi Nagato.” The blonde said as he sat down.

“H-hi.” The Beta stuttered out. “W-What can I d-do for y-you.” 

“I’m consulting on a case involving an animal attack.” Naruto admits. “Someone is using an animal to kill people, but we aren’t sure what animal it is. I was hoping you could tell me.” The blonde asked, pushing him images of the tooth marks. “What do you think? Wolf or bear?” He asked, and then prompt blinks as a rat pokes its head out from the sleeve of Nagato’s coat. 

“Th-this is k-kev-in.” Nagato's whispers happily. “D-don’t s-state or th-they’ll t-take hi-m away.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Naruto apologizes, looking away quickly once he realized he had in fact been staring. Nagato ticked the rat back into the sleeve and looked carefully at the pictures before he shut his eyes.

“Wolf,” He said gesturing to the first picture, “bear he said gesturing to the second.

“Do wolfs and bears hunt together?” Naruto asked confused and Nagato petted the tear hidden under his sleeve. 

“G-giv-en ti-me they can-be tr-ained. Tr-ained to think l-like o-other or or or tr-ained to h-h-hunt together. F-feed t-togth-er.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” Naruto says. Carefully putting the pictures back into the folder. 

“A-Animals j-just like us. T-they ha-be f-fri-end-sh-ships too.” Nagato said, and the

Blonde nodded. Before Naruto could leave those Nagato stopped him by saying,

“D-don’t bl-blame a-animals. M-man is th-the only crea-ture that k-Kills to kill.” Naruto couldn’t help but want to agree. 

“Thank you Nagato.” Naruto said again, as decided that it wasn’t a person holding the animals leash. ‘It’s gotta be something else. Nothing was eaten, an If humans are the only species that kill to kill…’ the blonde thought still trying to figure out how the matches up with the mauling, teeth and claw marks on the victim. 

*********************

Naruto’s house, Greenwood (43 miles east of Konoha City)

Naruto lay flopped out on his couch, eating ramen watching old episodes of Make-out Paradise. Kurama was sleeping happily curled up next to him, leaving the blonde to his thoughts. ‘I think I’ll have to prepare for another heat soon. Or rut.’ He added, glancing at the hidden room attached to his living room. ‘My nest could use a good cleaning out.’ He thought, but he stayed firmly planted on the couch too comfortable to really move. Everything seemed to make more sense and… less sense as Naruto thought about it.

“I still care for Gaara. He betrayed me but I still care for him.” He admitted to the empty room. “He didn’t cause me to get sick, though he didn’t seem to want me to get much better.” Even as the blonde said that though he didn’t really believe that. Not with memories of times where Gaara curled up with him in his nest. And certainly not with the newer memory of Gaara seeming to give him antibiotic shots to help keep him from getting sicker, possibly even help cure him. ‘Gaara’s actions conflict with each other. I won’t know for sure one way or the other what he wants- until I figure out his motivation.’ The blonde wasn’t sure how to do that though. ‘Threatening to kill seems to be okay so far, but what will happen when he push comes to shove and I don’t kill him? What then?’ The blonde thought still unsure and he couldn’t help but wish it was some form of love like in the strange dream he had. ‘And I know for sure I’m not getting sick again, thank god just more vivid dreams.’ Naruto took another bit of his food still considering what to do about the plan Kakashi had brewing to get Gaara. ‘Part of me wants to see what happens, but I know that I can’t just let that happen. Not until I’m sure about his motivations.’ 

The sound of his phone interrupted his brooding and the blonde sighed as he answered.

“Hello?”

“Naruto, I’m coming picking you. We have another animal attack crime scene. Be ready.” Kakashi said determinedly before hanging up. Naruto grumbled as he set the, now empty, bowl of ramen down and went to throw on a change of clothes. 

**********************

Akimichi Park, Central Konoha City

Kakashi dragged him out to one of the local parks and a thick layer of frost already covered the ground as winter dug it’s claws in. The blonde sighed, watching as his breath fogged in front of him and then disappeared. Lee and Kiba silently moved away, as Kakashi ordered everyone to clear the scene. The alpha order grated on Naruto nerves, and from a glance in Lee's direction he wasn’t the only that was bothered by it.

Naruto pictured a candle flickering to life in the darkness, once… twice...three times it flickered until the darkness shifted and the blonde empathized.

I stand among the trees, already enjoying the anticipation the curls through my veins. Two prey are laughing next to a fire pit. Clueless about life and about the rush and thrill of the hunt. Of the deep desire to hunt and rip. 

“Kill.” I murmur, before sprinting from the tree line, towards the male. They both fall on the snow and as I rip into the man, the female begins to scream. Like a vicious animal It pulls my attention and i chase her when she runs. She doesn’t make it far, and the prey falls into death as I catch her. I am the best, no other can hunt or maul or kill like I can. I suck in a deep breath feeling my suit of teeth shift on my shoulder now sticky with blood. I am the best animal, that any man can be. 

Naruto opened his eyes with a feeling of tired repetition. Kakashi was standing impatiently to the side, arms crossed. 

“Well?” The alpha said. 

“Not an animal.” The blonde responded, thinking about what Nagato has said and about what the murder scene seemed to be telling. 

“Then what it is?”

“A man who wants to be an animal.” 

“Does he believe he is an animal?” Kakashi says after a sigh. 

“It’s not what he believes, exactly.” The blonde said, looking out at the blood and death of the murder scene, relishing in how unbothered by it all he was. “But it is what he imagines.” 

“Well then what does he want?” 

“He wants to maul.” Naruto says with a shrug. “It’s nothing personal, and he won’t know the victims. They were just meat and prey.” 

“This kind of psychosis doesn’t just get overlooked, or slip through the system.” Kakashi said with a dark growl. The blonde nodded in agreement. “Somewhere someone would have noticed this.” 

“If it is psychosis, somehow he got an understanding of it. Learned how to build a suit out of it.” Naruto frowned as he studied the blood splatters and the very cleanly snapped thigh bones. “Our killer is an engineer, or at least he understands engineering. He built his beast— built a beast that snaps the largest bone in the human body clean in half.” The blonde checked his watched and frowned. 

“I have to go.” 

“Why?”

“I have an appointment with Dr.Gaara.”