Reckoning

***************

Dr. Gaara’s office, Downtown Konoha City

The redhead sat alone in his office, with nothing but the soft ticking sound of his new watch to break the silence. He sat in his chair, staring at the empty seat across from him, and glanced at his watch. 7:30. It was Narutos normal appointment time, when he would show up for their…. conversations. 

That’s all they were after all. Just…. conversations. Gaara was never actually Naruto's psychiatrist. It was all a ruse from the beginning to keep the FBI from getting a hold of Naruto files, though it was Kakashi idea. Gaara vaguely recalled  his conversation with Naruto about, seeking to clarify everything. 

“Am I your psychiatrist, or are we simply having conversations?” Gaara had asked.

“Yes, I think is the answer to that.” Naruto had mumbled.

“Well then, a glass with a friend before seeing a patient is perfectly normal. I assure you.” Gaara replied as he had fetched them both glasses of wine. 

It was a memory that seemed like something from long ago. Gaara sat there, in the silence, for over an hour thinking about how things could have— and should have gone differently. 

*****************

Dr. Uchihas Home, Central Konoha City

Sasuke sat with his legs crossed waiting for Kakashi to get comfortable. The weight of that signed little paper Gaara had given him had settled on Sasuke's shoulders with crushing intensity. This was already their fourth meeting together. Sasuke hated it, but took solace for soon— it would be their last. 

“Let’s talk.” Sasuke remarked. 

“Let’s talk.” Kakashi repeated with a nod and a small indulgent smile. It was silent for a moment as Kakashi waited for Sasuke to speak. Grudgingly, The raven haired alpha began by saying, 

“Certain personality types prefer to engage with the world…. differently than others.” 

“What sort of personality is Gaara?” Kakashi questioned and Sasuke leaned back.

“The Social but yet Anti-social type.” He answered. 

“Meaning?”

“It means, Gaara isn’t easily influenced.” Sasuke explained. “Gaara showed almost no ability to be shaped by his social environment before meeting Naruto.” Sasuke clasped his hands together and thought for a moment. “Somehow, Naruto managed to convince Gaara that he was seeing someone as…. Unique as himself.” Kakashi blinked, confused but Sasuke kept speaking. “Similar to how Naruto convinced you which version of Naruto you were seeing.” 

“We both thought we knew him.” Kakashi said slowly. 

“Did you see yourself in Naruto Uzumaki?” Sasuke questioned, with thinly veiled curiosity.

“I saw an asset, and a friend.” Kakashi replied honestly. 

“Your mistake.” Sasuke murmured softly. 

*****************

Kaguya’s Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Northside of Konoha City

‘This won’t work.’ Naruto thought from where he laid on his prison bed. He felt his insides twist uncomfortable and suppressed a groan. ‘Because of the sickness I’m off of all medications. I don’t have my suppressants, or any suppressants.’ Naruto thought trying to mentally calculate when his cycle would strike next. ‘I’ll have to find a way to work around it or hide it. But anything i do will require…. planning. Precision.’ The blonde swallowed. ‘Manipulation.’ Naruto huffed and sat up to sat at wall across from him. ‘This could prove to be…. difficult.’ The blonde thought but he didn’t have much other choice, not with the trail looming so closely. ‘I will have to find a way to save my own life.’ Naruto glanced over at the where the supposedly secret mics were stashed and looked up and stared at the cameras as he said—

“I want to talk to Sakura and Gaara.”  It took a little while, likely because the two had their own lives going on in the outside world. Still Naruto had faith in Orochimaru's greed and desire to hear him speak. Two days later and Sakura and Gaara showed up together to listen to what he had to stay. Seeing them Naruto sucked in a breath knowing everything from here on out mattered. 

Every word has to be carefully crafted. 

“I lost the plot.” Naruto whispered. “I’m the unreliable narrator of my own story.” He continued letting his voice crack a little towards the end for added effect. ‘I used to be unreliable.’ Naruto thought to himself, ‘I’m not anymore. Now-? Now I am… powerful.’ 

“You have an incomplete self.” Sakura murmured softly, as though trying to comfort him. Naruto felt uncomfortable. ‘Shes telling me I’m broken when I admit to her I’m feeling terrible? Wow. Nice compassion.’ Naruto thought, being careful not to let his face betray his thoughts. “There are pieces of you that you can’t see.” She continued.

“That I’m afraid to see.” The blonde murmured softly. Gaara watched him carefully with a look of concern. “I don’t know who I am any more, and I— I’m afraid.” 

“Without remembering you are seized by the imagined.” Gaara explained drawing Sakura's attention.

“I don’t know which is worse.” Naruto admitted honestly. “Believing that I did it, or believing that you did it and—“ Naruto hesitated, his voice trembling and he looked away feeling Gaara’s eyes on his form. ‘I can do this.’ Naruto told himself, relishing in the newly found control he had gained from everything. “—and did this to me.” The blonde finished finally. 

“Gaara isn’t responsible,” Sakura insisted. “And neither are you.” She took a step closer to him, letting her soft scent waft towards him. “We have to get to the truth of what happened. It’s the only way you can move forward.” 

“I felt so betrayed by you.” Naruto told Gaara, looking at him for what felt like the first time in a long while. Refreshing and poisoning all at once. “Betrayal…. Was the only thing that felt real to me.” The blonde swallowed and looked up to meet Gaara’s eyes. “I trusted you. I needed to trust you.”

“And you can trust me.” Gaara replied his voice dropping into a hushed whisper. Naruto felt a stab to his heart as he recalled those memories he recovered. How tender Gaara had been when he was vulnerable…. how emotionless he had been when feeding him Matsuri’s ear. 

“I’m very… confused.” Naruto whispered. 

“Of course you are.” Sakura relied butting her way into their conversation. Naruto regretted asking her to come but he didn’t see another way to get Gaara to come and make sure he believed what he was saying. 

“Naruto, let us help you.” Gaara said before glancing at Sakura and taking a step closer to the blonde. “Let me help you.” The redhead murmured, his voice softer. More tender. It was like a knife to Naruto's heart. The tears that spilled from his cheeks were real, even as the blonde lied by saying,

“I— I need your help.” 

Afterwards, Gaara and Sakura both let Naruto be taken back to his cell. They were convinced the Blonde would need time to recover from how upset he was. Inwardly Naruto just felt like he scored a goal. Exhilarated and surprised at how everything seemed to be going and wary of how it could turn out if he wasn’t careful. 

*****************

Dr. Gaara’s office, Downtown Konoha City

A knock on the door draw Gaara’s attention from where he had been sitting at us desk, sketching Naruto. 

“What a pleasant surprise.” Gaara comment when he saw Sasuke standing on the other side of the door. Sasuke nodded curtly as he walked in. “Please sit.” The redhead said, gesturing towards the chairs as he went to cover his sketches of Naruto. 

“I won’t be staying long.” Sasuke responded. 

“I am curious. What is it that could not wait until our next session?” Gaara asked.

“We don’t have anext session,” Sasuke stated flatly. Gaara went still. “I am no longer your therapist.” 

“May I ask why?” Gaara said, turning to look at the other, lesser, alpha.

“I have reached my limit,” Sasuke stated. “I no longer believe I can help you.” 

“Are you giving me a referral?”

“No.” Sasuke said bluntly. “I am simply ending our patient-psychiatrist relationship.” 

“You tried to end it before.” Gaara said taking a step towards him, but stopping when he noticed that Sasuke immediately took a step back from him the moment he moved. 

“I am grateful that you continued to engage with and talk to me after my attack,” Sasuke began carefully still eyeing the redhead. “However in light of everything that has happened with Naruto I have begun to question your actions.” The raven haired alpha took a second step back. “Particularly your actions involving me and my attack.” 

“Did you shares these questions with Kakashi?”

“No.” Sasuke answered. “I don’t intend to. If I did, I would look just as guilty as you.” Gaara blinked at that but didn’t bother to deny it. “Perhaps that it what you intended though, isn’t it?” Sasuke said added. 

“What am I guilty of?” Gaara questioned, now boldly stepping closer to him.

“Exactly, I cannot say.” Sasuke responded, taking a few more steps away. It was like torture to his instincts, but the raven haired alpha considered himself a survivor. Not some idiot rules by hormones. And to survive Gaara he had to back up. Had to submit and bend. “I have had to draw a conclusion based on what I have glimpsed through the parts of the sand armor you chose to wear.” Sasuke explained, using the metaphor once again. “And the conclusion I have drawn— is that you are dangerous.” 

“I apologize that you feel that way.” Gaara responded. 

“Please do not come to my home again.” Sasuke said stiffly. “I will see myself out.” 

“I’m resuming Naruto's therapy.” Gaara said suddenly just before Sasuke reached the door.

“To what end, besides your own?” Sasuke asked.

“He asked for my help.”

“Then perhaps you deserved each other.” Sasuke said with a cold detachment. 

*************

FBI Headquarters, Northside Konoha City (two days later)

“We found a new victim.” Kakashi explained to Gaara as they walked down to the morgue. “Name was Umber. He lived alone, disappeared from home and had a large dose of heroin in his system.” Kakashi sighed just as they walked through the doors. “But this victim wasn’t unstrung. He was ripped down.” 

“Whatever his imperfection it was enough to aggregate the killer into taking him down.” Gaara stated as he catch sight of the body laid out on the autopsy table. 

“He was left in a tributary that was over 400 miles away from any water source that feeds into the dam where we found the first six bodies.” Ino added. 

“Like dandelion seeds.” Gaara murmured. “Casting bodies in every direction but his own.” 

“How poetic.” Kiba remarked with a raise of his brow. “Still, his skin is still all cracked because of the chemical spray. So there’s another similarity.”

“There maybe be trace evidence hidden in the Craquelure.” Gaara suggested.

“What?” Lee asked bluntly and Kakashi cast him a sharp look.” 

“Craquelure.” Gaara repeated. “It is a French word for the the cracks that appear on an oil painting as it dries and gets rigors with age.” The redheaded alpha peered at the cracks. “Cracks are not always weaknesses.” 

“Yeah, there could be something in there I suppose.” Ino said with a nod. “Some fibers or debris that could track down where the body was before it got dumped.” 

“Have you found out what the victims have in common?” Kakashi questioned. 

“Nothing besides how they died.” Kiba said with a shrug and Ino took a deep breath.

“What if it’s not what they have in common?” She asked hesitantly. “What if it’s what makes them different?” Ino walked back over to where she kept the file folder with the pictures of the victims and laid it all out. “All of them have slightly different skin tones. What if it’s like a color palette?” She asked, turning to look at Kakashi. Gaara narrowed his eye briefly.

“The color of our skin is often politicized,” Gaara commented, stepping closer to her and leaning over the pictures himself. “It would almost be refreshing to see someone reveal in the aesthetics for aesthetic's sake.” Gaara said before adding, “if it weren’t so horrific.” 

“So were supposed to see color.” Kiba muttered thoughtfully joining them and forming a group huddle over the photos. 

“A fascinating insight Miss Ino.” Gaara commented lightly. “As if Naruto himself were here in the room.” Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Ino. 

“Ino. My office. Now.” The agent said and the blonde beta winced before following him to his officer.  When the door swung shut, Kakashi sat down and stared at her for a long moment. “How’s Naruto?” Kakashi asked from where he sat at his desk. When Ino opened her mouth to answer he narrowed his eye and snapped, “shut your mouth.” 

Faced with the growing scent of anger and a growing sense of— submit submit submit, Ino stood quietly. 

“Is there a reason you didn’t come to ask me before going to see him?” Kakashi asked finally. 

“I figured you would say no.”

“You I figured correctly.”

“But I also knew you would want to say yes.” When Kakashi just glared at her she shifted her weight, feeling the familiar urge as a Beta to submit to someone of a higher secondary gender. “You put me in an awkward position.” Ino stated loudly rather than backing down completely her pride and training helping her. “I had to go because I knew you wouldn’t. If you had just gone like you wanted I wouldn’t have had to!” She took a steadying breath. “Why didn’t you?”

“Naruto is either delusional or a psychopath,” Kakashi growled. “Neither of which I can trust!”

“Fine then don’t trust him, just listen to him.” Ino answered simply, and the alpha just rolled his eyes. 

“I am listing. Here is what I’m hearing— if he’s delusion it’s because I made that way. If he’s a psychopath it’s because everything in my gut is wrong about him.” 

“You think he’s innocent.” Ino blurted out with wide eyes.

“I don’t know what I think.” 

“Well I think he still wants to save lives.” Ino says quietly walking up closer to the alpha. 

“I bent the rules trying to save lives, and now there’s an internal investigation. I’m under a microscope!” Kakashi crosses his arms. “The Office of the inspector general ordered a psych evaluation to determine my competency to sit in this chair.” 

“Well, then, what do you want me to do?” Ino asked resigned. “If you don’t want me to go back then fine. I won’t.” Kakashi paused for a moment thinking. 

“We…. didn’t have this conversation.” He said slowly. “And since we didn’t have this conversation, I want you to go and do whatever it is that you believe it’s your job to do.” Kakashi eyes her carefully. “Do you know what your job is?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then do it.”

*****************

Kaguya’s Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Northside of Konoha City

Naruto leaned his head back against the cold stone of his cell, waiting. The hospital always went on lockdown after dark which meant Gaara would have to reschedule everything in order to make time to see him— unlike before. Naruto took great pleasure in that. 

‘Tick took.’ The blonde thought, staring at the wall and thinking about his suppressants— or lack of. He knew he would be running out of time eventually, and he didn’t look forward to that happening. ‘Everything is stuck on Gaara. If he comes I can… manipulate him. Punish him. Survive.’ Naruto reasoned decidedly ignoring that feeling of wanting to throw up. 

‘He came.’ Naruto thought with a thrill of adrenaline as two prisons guards came to escort him to one of the open treatment halls. The guards put Naruto into a steel cage that almost looked like a strange dunk tank and left him waiting. 

“I have been advised to stay behind the line.” Gaara stated as he walked in, glancing at the blonde. 

“Some of the other patients have uh… started urinating or sometimes scent-marking the psychiatrists,” Naruto muttered. Gaara blinked.

“I believe drawing a line would encourage those behaviors,” Gaara said aloud.

“I’m not interested in those behaviors with you Doctor.” Naruto said as blandly as possible. “Pull up your chair.” Gaara paused for a moment and Naruto had a brief moment to mentally kick himself for essentially ordering the alpha. It was a sure-fire way to trigger his instincts. ‘Damn, i should have said please. Be polite and stuff.’ The blonde thought, but Gaara surprised him. The redheaded alpha pulled the chair he had been provided closer to the blonde without so much as a word. 

“What was it that you said?” Gaara wondered briefly, “Ah yes. The light of friendship wont reach us for a million years, thats how close we are to… friendship.” 

“Friends are…. balanced. The have a uh…  symmetrical relationship. Psychiatrists and patients— don’t.” Naruto responded trying not to wince at how short sighted he had been. 

“There is a power differential before psychiatrists and patients.” Gaara acknowledged with a nod. “I am well aware of it between my psychiatrist and myself.” 

“But we are… just having conversations?” Naruto mumbled, raising his brow and watching the redhead intently. Gaara didn’t answer for a long moment. 

“You threatened me with a reckoning.” 

“Yeah. I did.” Naruto said looking down at his hands. “Can’t exactly claim unconsciousness on that one.” 

“You were searching for a memory to incriminate me. I can only assume you didn’t find it.”

“There isn’t much in there I uh… recognize.” The blonde half-lied. ‘The list of things I can’t remember is growing, but I recognizing them. On a fundamental level— I recognize them. I know myself better now.’ Naruto thought, still carefully playing this new game he started. 

“What you remember, if you remember anything— it will be a distortion of reality.” Gaara insisted softly. “Not the truth of events.” 

“I’m realizing that.” Naruto answered. ‘Liar.’ The blonde thought. ‘You keep lying to me. Always lying. But now I— can see through them.’ 

“Ino Yamanaka has come to see you.” 

“Yeah.” Naruto says with a sigh, still not entirely sure how he felt about that. ‘On the one hand it was nice to see her. She was pretty honest about how she felt seeing me.’ The blonde thought before frowning. ‘On the other hand she visited just because of work, not because she actually wanted to see me. I more friends. Or at least, better friends.’

“That may worry Sakura.” Gaara said simply. “Dwelling on murder and morbid things during what is supposed to be your recovery.” 

“It’s the only thing that feels… normal.” The blonde admitted. 

“The violence?” Gaara questioned. ‘Orochimaru is going to have a field day with this conversation recording.’ Naruto thought with mounting tension. ‘I don’t really care what he thinks but I do need to be careful. I can’t draw too much freaking attention to myself.’

“The structure of understanding the violence.”

“You are missing parts of yourself. Be cautious with what you replace them with.” Gaara warmed and Naruto felt almost touched at the concern before he remember how Gaara made him swallow a freaking ear. “Tell me, what did you see in the pictures?” Gaara asked and the blonde felt part of himself ease into the old pattern. ‘It would simply, to just relax, and let Gaara do whatever.’ Naruto thought. ‘I’m not going to, but this is nice.’ 

“The killer Ino had me looking for?” Naruto said leaning forward, “isn’t stringing people up, he’s stitching them together.” The blonde let the little thrill of having someone listen to his… darker thoughts without backing away flare up— before squishing it back down again. ‘I can’t let myself become distracted.’ He reminded himself. “The killer is using the bodies, like a painter uses paints.” Naruto tilts his head slightly. “He’s making a human mural.” 

“Why does he do it?” Gaara asked, deeply absorbed in the blondes words. Naruto took a breath and a moment to congratulate himself on ensnaring the alphas undivided attention. 

“He’s missing pieces too.” 

*****************

Kaguya’s Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Northside of Konoha City (later the same day)

Ino stood outside his cell, a fresh folder in her hands. Naruto winced internally. 

“Doctor Gaara advised me against dwelling on anything morbid.” Naruto stated. Ino sighed. 

“I know you want to stop these murders as much as I do.”

“Reasons for stopping murders to pop into my head.” Naruto mumbled with a grin half smile. ‘Reasons to commit murder pop in just as much though.’ The blonde thought idly. 

“Will you look?” Ino asks and Naruto turns to watch her.

“I’ll need something in return.” 

“If there are things you don’t have I can talk to the chief of staff.” Ino offered and the blonde let out an unhappy laugh. 

“Orochimaru?” 

“He’s being very cooperative,” Ino said, confused and with a frown.

“Well of course he is. He loves it when I have visitors. He records every conversation ya know.” The blonde smiled. “He’s gossipy that way.”

“What do you want Naruto?” Ino said crossing his arms and shifting her weight to one side. The beta looked done with whole delaying everything.

“I want you… to ignore the evidence against me.” 

“I can’t get that.” Ino responded tightly. Naruto nodded simply before saying,

“I wonder how many colors the killer will add to his… box of crayons.” 

“Say I ignore the evidence. What happens then?” Ino says finally. 

“You start over.” Naruto replied, stepping closer

to the metals bars “if I’m guilty you should be able to find more evidence. If I’m not guilty— you’ll maybe find that too.” 

“Alright.” Ino agreed hesitantly, and the blonde wanted to grin with joy. ‘If I’m not guilty, you’ll find Gaara.’ The blonde thought relishing in the  taste of victory. 

“Good.” Naruto says. “Give me the file and I will tell you what I think.” She handed him the fold through the bars and waited. Naruto ignored her, flipping through pictures in the file. ‘His skin isn’t as discolored as the others, and all things considered he’s fairly well preserved.’ Naruto thought before murmuring, “why would I throw you away?” to himself. As he looked the tear on a piece of paper caught his eye. 

“Did this victim have prior experience with substance abuse?” Naruto asked, turning back to Ino with a frown. 

“Some. According to records he was in an outpatient treatment program for drug addiction.” 

“Addiction to heroin?”

“Among others.”

“This victim… had a high tolerance for opiates. It wasn’t the overdose that killed him.” Naruto murmured as a realization bloomed. “He survived, and tore himself free before running.” 

“Then how did he end up in the water?” Ino asked. 

“Well the killer didn’t put him there.” Naruto said slipping the file back between the bars to hand to her. “If he had caught him, he would have put him back into the mural.” 

“Put him back where?”

“Somewhere abandoned, upstream of where you found the body. It would private and close to the water.” The blonde said tiredly, felt a cramp in his gut start to build. 

“Thank you.” Ino murmured softly, before turning to leave.

“Ino,” Naruto called after her and she stopped. “What did Gaara have to say about this victim?” 

“Gaara?” She questioned before shrugging. “He thinks the victim was pulled down and dumped like the others.” Naruto shook his head slowly as she left. ‘That… maybe what he said. Not necessarily what he thinks.’ The blonde thought to himself enduring another roll of his gut.