Spear & Shield

Spear & Shield
Chapter 47

“This is weird,” Genma grumbled to his companion. “You're being weird. This is a waste of time. We're not gonna learn anything at this distance, anyway." Complaints rolled off his tongue with ease, "I only have one day off, you know.”

Ebisu shot him the hand signal for “silence,” eyes trained on the pair down in the clearing. 

“This is ridiculous. Why don’t you just talk to him?” Genma continued, voice set to a harsh whisper as they crept silently over the branches. “It’s not like Gai can keep a secret, anyway. And I seriously doubt he's got anything to hide in the first place.”

“There’s something going on here,” Ebisu argued, “It can’t be what I think it is, is it?”

Genma snorted, “You really think Gai finally found himself a girlfriend?"

“It’s impossible, right?” Ebisu agreed, ignoring Genma’s sardonic tone.

Genma sighed, flopping down onto the thicker part of the large branch they were perched on. He was determined to get in an extra nap or two, regardless of Ebisu’s strange obsessions. 

“They sure are laughing an awful lot…”

“So? From what I’ve heard, they’re just sparring partners.”

Ebisu huffed, adjusting his glasses, “It makes no sense. She’s a low-ranked reserve Chunin. Gai’s a field-ready jounin. Why would they be training together? Unless this Ushi girl is suddenly gunning for a promotion, I'd say they're more than just 'training partners.'”

Genma yawned, “Hey, from what Tenzo tells me, she can be kinda fiery. They're probably just having fun. What's the big deal?”

Ebisu frowned over his shoulder, “Are you even paying attention?” 

“No.”

“But this is important!”

“Is it?” Genma asked lazily, leaning back against the trunk and yanking his bandana down far enough to cover his eyes. Ebisu watched with annoyance as Genma’s trademark senbon bobbed loosely with the jounin’s slowing breaths. How could he possibly be so calm when hell was literally freezing over?

Ebisu then wondered if kicking Genma out of the tree would blow their cover. He opened his mouth to scold his lazy teammate one more time, but was cut off when a third voice joined the conversation.

“Ah, you two as well?”

The two jounin went very still in an attempt to hide their surprise. A shadow appeared over them, silent and still as if it had been there all along. Ebisu felt sweat gather on the back of his neck, and Genma bit down hard on his senbon. 

They had been caught.

It wasn’t often that someone was able to sneak up on them. Then again, if anyone was able, it would have been Hatake Kakashi.

The former ANBU captain was almost directly above them, comically close, hovering just above where Genma rested. It took a minute for the two to recover, then another minute to process what Kakashi just said. Genma raised an eyebrow at Kakashi, “What do you mean, ‘us too?’”

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully, turning another page of the colorfully-bound paperback held in front of his face, not meeting the eye of either jounin. “I’ve been following these two for some time. The story up until now has been fairly straight-forward. Although the ‘two fools in love’ trope is a little overdone, they strike a good balance between one another. I find 'everyone knows but them' scenarios fairly realistic, even though they can get boring fairly quickly. However, the pair have recently hit some troubled waters by introducing Yasu’s family to the mix. She has a very overbearing mother, you see..” He trailed off, snapping his book shut and smiling down at the two cheerfully, “I’m just excited to finally be able to talk with someone else about it, really.”

Genma snorted. He couldn't care less about Gai's lovelife. Ebisu, however...

“Hold on!” Ebisu practically shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi, “You mean to tell me my theory is correct?”

“What theory?”

Ebisu's mouth open and shut like a trout, as if even he couldn't believe what he was about to say, "That Gai has a..." he gulped heavily, "A girlfriend."

Kakashi blinked down at the man “But of course. They’ve in a whirlwind romance for months,” he stated boredly, as if he was merely commenting on the weather.

“Gross,” Genma grumbled, re-adjusting his bandana once more. “But it looks like you were right all along, Ebisu. Gai really was the first one of us to get a real girlfriend.”

“How is that possible?!” Ebisu growled in frustration, turning back to voyeur once more only to realize the couple was long gone. “It doesn’t make sense! I’m far more accomplished than he is! I tutor the grandson of the Hokage! I'm the Village authority on efficient training plans! And I don’t wear ridiculous jumpsuits! I’m a much better catch than he is!” 

All of his typical, level-headed, sensei-behavior had disappeared. It had been a while since Genma had seen his teammate this riled-up. To be honest, it was pretty hilarious. “See, Ebisu, in order to get a girlfriend, you actually have to talk to women.”

“I talk to plenty of women!”

“Peeping at the bathhouse doesn’t count, you crumb.”

“That’s not what I--!”

“Your mother doesn’t count, either.”

“What would you know?!” Ebisu countered loudly, “You change women more often than you change your bedsheets!”

Genma merely shrugged as if to say ‘Guilty as charged.’

“You seem pretty invested, Ebisu-san,” Kakashi added teasingly, “That may be the sign of an underlying complex.”

Genma didn’t have to look up to know that Ebisu’s face was probably beet-red. "I'm just worried about my former teammate," he argued back, not sounding the least bit honest. "My actions merely stem from concern, despite what Genma here thinks."

“I think you're both perverts,” Genma shot back lazily. 

Ebisu began to vehemently deny the claim while Kakashi just shrugged.

Tuning out Ebisu's shouting had taken Genma years of practice. He utilized every bit of that skill as he leant back and closed his eyes once more.

Before long, the two sensei were co-conspiring to continue following the couple in question. Genma was forced to sit back and quietly ignore them as two of the best shinobi lost their minds right in front of him.

Little did any of them know, Yasu and Gai had both long since vacated the area.

Genma chewed on the tip of his senbon. He didn’t like this. Genma didn’t care. So what if Gai found himself a nice girl to hang on to? He was just happy that Gai was happy. 

He felt weird spying on his teammate. And it’s not like he actually cared or anything… he really didn’t! 

…But a thought nagged at the back of his brain. Who exactly was Ushi Yasu? Why did they spend so much time together? Was she a good match for Gai? It really didn’t seem like it. They didn’t appear to have a lot in common. What were her intentions? …What were Gai’s? 

Genma cleared his throat, interrupting a devious scheme that included a Sharingan, a henge, and a whole lot of camouflage. 

Genma swore he didn’t care. He wasn’t invested. It wasn’t a big deal or anything. Slowly, he pushed his bandana back into place and looked up at Kakashi. He didn't care about Gai's stupid girlfriend. He really didn't.

Yet he couldn’t help it when he twirled a senbon and casually asked, “...How’d they meet, anyway?”