Spear & Shield

Spear & Shield 
Chapter 7

It was not an uncommon occurrence for Yasu’s apartment to be infiltrated during her work hours. Her trapping skills were abysmal. As much as she loved building them, they never really worked in practicality as they did in theory. Her "thousand knives surprise" only resulted in her having to use up her entire supply of drywall, and did nothing to stop pesky relatives from sneaking in through her window.

Which is why she came home to find one Ushi Saburo sitting at her kitchen table, feeding Bao-chan bits of tuna from his takeout platter of sushi.

On a normal night, she would have scolded her older brother about overfeeding her already obese cat. But tonight, she was too tired. 

Gai's final beating had done her in. Chakra strain was an unusual occurrence for a light-work chunin like herself. As minor as this bout seemed to be, it left her virtually exhausted and completely useless. She had no energy left.

“What happened to you?” he mumbled, spewing a few grains of rice onto the tabletop. 

She ignored him, flopping face down onto her couch. “I made a friend,” she grumbled into the cushions.

“What?” 

"I made a friend."

"I can't hear you."

“I made a friend!” she spat, bristling up at the older male. “He’s a jounin. He likes turtles, his birthday is in January, and he thinks I really need to work on my close combat reflexes and offensive form!"

Saburo was utterly unfazed by his sister’s outburst. He had long since gotten used to the Ushi way of bottling up one’s feelings until they erupted. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” he grinned, cracking open a can of beer he had swiped from her fridge. “Would Mom want to meet this ‘friend?’”

She pinned him with a sharp glare, yet his smug smirk remained. His dear baby sister was not nearly as intimidating as she liked to think she was.

Saburo shrugged her off, kicking his feet onto the chair across from him. A second beer appeared in his hand and he lightly tossed it to her. She let it bounce off the pillow next to her before she finally sat up. She relished the sound of the can cracking open and indulged in a long gulp.

"So what happened?" He popped another piece of sushi in his mouth, "You piss this guy off or something? Looks like you got your ass kicked."

Bao-chan trilled playfully from the table top. Saburo slipped her another bit to nibble on. 

"I did," she groaned back. "But not because I made him mad or anything."

"So what did you do?"

"Nothing!" she proclaimed, flopping back into the couch, arms stretched to the ceiling in exasperation. "I was minding my own business, then he ambushed me!"

At this, Saburo paused, "Really? A Konoha shinobi just attacked you out of nowhere?"

"Well…" she mumbled into the lip of the can, "The first time he did it, it was an accident. But he was so impressed that I took the hit, he wanted me to stick around and be his personal punching bag."

The teasing smirk dropped from Saburo's face, "...Is this something that needs to be reported?"

"No!" Yasu shook her head, "No… I mean, it's so dumb! I don't want to bother anyone, especially not the Jounin Commander. Or worse, the Hokage."

"... Let me talk to him, then. I have pull with a lot of jounin here. I can get him to stop." The thought of someone tormenting his only sister was making his blood boil. 

"Yeah?" Her head turned towards him with an expression of earnest hope, "Could you?"

"Just tell me his name."

"Maito Gai. Do you know him?"

Saburo froze for a solid minute, his last piece of sushi slipping from his chopsticks and flopping onto the table with a squelch.

Bao-chan quickly swept in to steal his neglected morsel.

"... Maito Gai? Konoha's Green Beast? That Maito Gai?"

"No, the other Maito Gai." She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, Saburo. That one."

A slow, evil grin spread across his face. She watched as his somber expression transformed into one of pure glee. 

He threw his head back in laughter. His booming chortles bounced off the walls around them, "M-maito Gai?!" he laughed more, "Are you crazy? Why are you challenging Maito Gai? You don't stand a chance!"

"Saburo!" she whined. "This isn't funny."

"I can't help you out here, Yasu," he cackled, "You're crazy if you think I'd fight him. Even for you."

"You don't have to fight him--"

"If Maito Gai's the one after you, you're on your own. You don't have a 'friend.'" Saburo mocked, "You have a parasite. I’ve seen how he stalks Hatake Kakashi--”

“Actually, I think they’re genuinely friends,” Yasu argued with a shrug.

“They fight on sight!” he argued. 

“They’re ‘rivals.’”

“What do you mean, ‘rivals?’” 

“I asked around, apparently they have a running bet or something. Sometimes they fight, sometimes they race, or some other stupid thing. I think they both like challenges…” she stopped short, the beer can raised halfway to her mouth. 

“That’s it!”