Regaining
Piltover, the same day
The warm light of the late afternoon lay over the cities Zaun and Piltover. Even the loud bustle of the streets couldn't ruin this snapshot of peace and serenity for Caitlyn as she sat with her father Tobias Kiramman on the balcony of her family's mansion, enjoying a late afternoon cup of tea. She had almost forgotten how quiet - almost innocent - life in Piltover had seemed just a year ago, before everything that could go wrong did. Though Piltover had never been innocent at all. A bitter truth Caitlyn had come to accept. Though accepting it was one thing: Making peace with it, another entirely.
Just three days ago, she and Vi had returned drained and exhausted from their grueling campaign against Noxus - one of the greatest military powers known to man. With their combined forces, they had dealt Noxus a series of devastating blows. Caitlyn knew the conflict was far from settled, but with Ambessa Medarda gone and power still vacant, the united cities held the upper hand—for now at least. Perhaps it was already enough to secure a respectable position for eventual peace negotiations, once the power vacuum was filled by a reasonable leader. A fox and not a wolf, as Ambessa herself would have said For a brief, foolish moment, when Ambessa Medarda fell in battle, she truly believed it was over. That their struggles had finally reached an end. How naive she had been. And the conflict was far from over and had already claimed hundreds of lives.
Jayce - her childhood friend and the closest thing she had to a brother - was missing, vanished without a trace. Jinx, her girlfriend’s sister and her former arch nemesis: presumed dead, but most likely alive. Leaving behind a desperate and broken Vi. Heimerdinger, Piltover’s founder and academic leader: also missing, most likely gone for good. The details of his disappearance still remained mysterious. The list was much longer. But these were the most tragic. Each one in its own way.
The warm sunlight that gently tickled her skin was a more than welcome distraction from all the strain. Late summer, a truly beautiful time of the year. Tobias Kiramman looked at his daughter and tried his best to muster a gentle but supportive smile for his tired and exhausted daughter. Even though she didn't seem to pay any attention to him, it was the best he could do. In fact, it was the only thing he could do: To be there for his daughter whenever she might need him. Seeing his daughter like that almost broke his heart. She was as brave as her mother. If not braver. Even now, she fought hard to hide how much the past few months had worn her down.
A mild breeze blew across the balcony, pulling both - father and daughter - out of their thoughts. Daily life went on. Life in general went on. As hard as it was to move on. Not only for Caitlyn herself, but especially for Vi and her father. They had all lost something. Someone they loved with all their hearts. For Caitlyn and her father, the grief still lingered over Kassandra—her cherished mother and Tobias’s devoted wife. For Vi, it was Jinx, the only family she had left.
"How is she?" Her father's calm and gently voice snapped her out of her thoughts. “Who…? Of course it’s Vi… Did he just read my mind?”
“She’s struggling… A lot. It wasn’t like this when we were overseas…” Caitlyn confessed, her face looking down defeated at the tea table on their balcony. It was heartwarming to see that even her father had started to look after Vi. More than that, in fact; after the first reports of the battle against Noxus came in, and Caitlyn told him her side of the story, he finally made peace with Vi and her origins, and even allowed his heart to embrace her. She was now an important part of his daughter's life.
"Grief comes in all kinds and forms... Each of us is an individual..." he said, leaning back and trying to catch as much of the incoming gentle breeze as possible. “You know… It’s hard to overlook” He added and put on a serious face. “She needs you more than you think. Even if she’s trying to hide it…”
“I know. It’s … It’s just…” She stuttered, searching for the right words to describe her misery.
"...complicated?" Tobias finished his daughter's sentence and received a short but firm nod that proved his assumption correct.
"How did you..." His eyes widened as he already knew what Question would follow next, "- deal with Mom's death? We never really talked about it..." It suddenly broke out of Caitlyn, her voice cracking and falling into a fragile silence.
To her surprise, he just smiled gently at her. “She's the love of my love. No one can ever take her place… Well that’s not quite correct. Because… I have you. You’re the most important thing in my live. Even surpassing your mom…”
Tears slowly began to ran down her right cheek, and the wound - that once was her her left eye - flared with an excruciating, stabbing pain radiating across her face. Then it almost struck her: It was the first time she had cried since losing her eye. And she hadn't really thought that it would cause her so much pain, since except for a few twitches, she had lost all sensation in that particular area. The pain was raw and unsettling, unfamiliar yet deeply invasive.
"Don't cry, sweetheart," he said, jumping to his feet to wrap his daughter in a much-needed hug. She couldn’t resist; with a trembling breath, she leaned into him, surrendering to the comfort of his embrace.
“I’m sorry…” She sobbed into his arms.
“For what, my dear?” He asked her, while gently brushing through her hair.
“For making you worry. I was selfish..." She confessed, while clenching her fists behind his back. How could she have been so blind? In her desperate thirst for revenge against Jinx—and all of Zaun—she had hurt the very people who cared for her most. Vi. Her father. They had suffered deeply, and all because of her reckless obsession. Just like many others...
"You’re so much like your mother," her father said, his voice soft yet firm. "She always did what she thought was right. So do you. And for that, I’m proud of you. You have nothing to regret."
“I almost died,” she whispered, choking on a sob. “I almost left you.” Her voice broke as she finally met his gaze. “I almost left you all alone.”
The calm was unbearable. For the first time, she had nowhere to run—no battlefield, no mission, no excuses. Her past and her emotions, bottled up for so long, now spilled over. She couldn’t drown them in war anymore. At least not for the moment.
"What do you want me to say?" He sighed. Now, unlike before, he couldn't hide his feelings from his daughter. "Of course I don't want you to go back. On another mission. In fact, I wish you'd never leave this house again. But I can't keep you locked up..."
"But you tried..." She reminded him reproachful.
"Can you really blame me for what I did?" He asked her back with a bold, shy smile. Caitlyn shook her head in silence, defeated. "When you joined the Enforcers, and whenever you had a night shift, we couldn't sleep until we heard the door open and close. Then you almost died in the bombing..." And before she could even find an answert to this, he added, "Like I said, you're just like your mother—dutiful, brave, and clever. Without you, this city would be a very different place" He explained her, while gently stroking her hair once again and smiling. It was a bittersweet smile. He felt pity for her, but at the same time, he was glad she had found her own way. Not the one Kassandra and he had envisioned for her, but her own nonetheless. She was a true Kiramman, determined to carry on the legacy of her mother and family.
"And now?" She looked into his eyes in a way she hadn't looked at him in years. Like the younger version of herself seeking his fatherly advice. Ever since her childhood, she'd known that whatever was wrong, he'd be there to fix it. No matter what. Like the time she broke a piece of her mother's famous vase and he didn't hesitate to fix it for her.
As Tobias began offering his daughter advice, his words were abruptly silenced by a raw, anguished cry echoing from deep within the mansion.
"Vi..." She was having a tantrum again. Since they came back, she always prefrered screaming over crying.
"Go look after her" He urged gently, by nodding towards the balcony door, when he realized shaken she was by Vi's pained scream.
„I can’t help her. No matter how much I want to,” Caitlyn said, her voice heavy with frustration and bitterness as her gaze drifted to the late afternoon sky and the bustling streets below. „She’s mourning her sister. And there’s nothing I can do to ease her pain. Jinx is gone...”
"You mentioned that... Jinx might have survived" For some reason, hearing her name come out of her father's mouth sent shivers down her spine. Especially since he knew who she was and what she had done to his family and his town.
"Yes, but even if... she’s gone. After all... she hasn’t come back to Vi yet,” Caitlyn said, her voice thoughtful and distant. Part of her wanted to rush in, to do something - anything - but a more cautious part held her back. Despite her own urges, she knew it was better to wait, to give Vi a few moments to breathe and gather herself. "She killed my mother"
„She killed my mother... Right after she killed Silco...” Caitlyn said, her voice unintentionally loud enough for her father to hear.
"I know. You don't have to remind me..." He said. "And you have forgiven her, don't you?"
Caitlyn hesitated. She had never granted Jinx a verbal pardon in front of anyone before - not even Vi. It was better to avoid reopening this wound, especially when it wasn’t necessary. Doing so would only drag Vi back into her deep well of sorrow and desperation.
“And you?” She asked him curious. Since Vi was a part of her life - and Jinx therefore being it as well - it suddenly mattered for her to ask him this important Question.
"It doesn't matter" He rebutted her question. Not entirely convinced by his answer, her eyes continued to look at him insistently.
"Even if you'd done the worst things imaginable, you'd still be my daughter" He then added with a nervous smile. “She’s her only family”
"I don't even know what to do..." Caitlyn sighed frustrated, "Even if she'd survived, she could be everywhere. Or..."
“Do you love her?” As unnecessary as the question might seem—since Vi was undeniably the love of her life - Caitlyn’s mind had already registered that he wasn’t asking without a reason. Still it caught her by surprise.
“Yes, I do,” she said, before repeating, this time much louder and with unwavering confidence, “Yes, I love her so much.”
"Then go. Help her find her peace"
"That doesn't sound like you," Caitlyn remarked, her eyes narrowing slightly as surprise and curiosity flickered across her face.
"Let's just say, you're not the only one who's changed. I saw your luck with her. And I'm happy for you." He assured her, but his gentle smile faltered slightly, revealing the worry and hesitation he tried to hide.
“And if I have to leave again?”
“I don’t want to lose you. I just got you back. But…” He paused, letting out a sigh as his confession faltered. Meeting her sad, and deeply moved eyes, he continued, “…now you need to be there for her. She followed you into a war. Now it’s your turn to follow her.” His words were clear, finally offering her not just the desperately needed advice, but also the permission she longed for to help Vi. “Thank you, Dad,” she said softly. Silently, she rose from her seat and left the table, but not before placing a soft kiss on her father’s cheek. “Thank you, Dad,” she said softly before heading to the balcony door. "Not for this sweatheart...," he muttered thoughtfully as he watched her disappear into the mansion.
The air inside the mansion was much warmer and stuffier than the air outside. The old, antique furniture and the mansion's age were partly to blame. After all, it was wasp and mosquito season, and most windows stayed shut during the late afternoon—especially when sweets and other dishes were being handed out generously. Dealing with them outside was already annoying enough at times. Caitlyn didn't have to look far for her better half. There she was, sitting on the emerald green sofa by the fireplace. Staring with sad and with empty eyes at the fire that was only burning for decorative and atmospheric purposes. On the table in front of her was a half-empty bottle. "Poor Vi..."
It was obvious that Vi had lied to when she said she was going to do some training. She didn't look exhausted. No, she looked the same as she had an hour ago, before she had declined her invitation to join them on the balcony for a cup of tea.
"Maybe she wants to be alone" A distant voice whispered in her head, but Caitlyn stubbornly pressed on, determined to stay by her side. “But should I really approach her?”
Now that she was only a few feet away, hesitation suddenly washed over her, her body urging her to stop. Still unnoticed by Vi - whether intentional or not - Cait decided to announce her presence, not wanting to startle or upset her.
"Hey," she said softly, raising her hand about to place it on her shoulder. Almost as an exception, Vi didn't react at first, continuing to stare darkly at the blazing flames.
"Vi?" Only now, she slowly turned around and locked her glassy eyes on her. "She looks rough..."
"I hate it when you lie to me, though I can understand why" Cait said as she walked over and sat down beside her. She did her best to keep any trace of accusation out of her voice
A subtle snort was all Vi gave in response, slowly turning her eyes back to the fire. "You can't bury yourself forever" Her hand brushed Vi’s shoulder gently, yet the touch sent a jolt of electricity through her, leaving her momentarily breathless.
"I gave you three days. I know it's difficult to be back here..." Caitlyn began after a short pause to catch her breath, but immediately second-guessed her confrontational approach. The last thing she wanted - or needed - was getting into a fight with Vi, "But for me it is as well..."
But again—much to her surprise and frustration—she showed no reaction. What had started as a promising day, with Vi being talkative and even engaging in some semi-romantic lovemaking in the morning, had now returned to its usual darkness and grey. Just like every other day since their return.
"I thought it would be easier..." Vi mumbled quietly, suddenly breaking the silence and gently leaning her head against Caitlyn's shoulder. Her soft hair brushed gently against Caitlyn's neck, almost tickling her, as she made herself comfortable.
"I know..." Caitlyn murmured softly and leaned her head against Vi's. She fell silent, her gaze fixed on the glittering fire for a few moments. It wasn’t the season, and she wasn’t in the mood for it—but with Vi beside her, everything felt special. After all, she was the 'dirt under nails'...
"I have been thinking" She said straightforwardly, "About Jinx"
Now that the words had been spoken, there was no turning back. She and Vi had avoided this conversation for far too long—ever since they left for the war. But now, it was time to face it and finally find peace, one way or another. Vi’s head snapped up, her gaze locking onto hers with an intensity that made the air between them feel heavy. Her hand reached for the half-empty bottle on the desk, and she took a generous sip—perhaps to gather strength, or maybe to swallow the bitterness. It was a habit Caitlyn deeply despised, one she only tolerated under the circumstances. Vi had always been a good drinker, and Caitlyn knew the bottle wouldn’t be enough to leave her fully drunk.
"Cait... please stop. I tried to believe it for months. But at some point... I need to let go. She's dead..."
"Violet..." Vi begged her, her voice heavy with exhaustion.
"Just let me, Cait" Vi buried her head in her hands, letting out another exasperated sigh. "Please" She begged, her voice carrying a desperate plea for mercy.
"No, I won't let you. This is not you, Vi. When we were in Noxus, you fought. You fought like hell. And now you're letting your emotions get the best of you. You're not even trying to follow the clues I gave you..." Caitlyn held against firmly.
"That's just wishful thinking" Vi remarked with a forced smile, "but it's sweet that you try to cheer my up Cupcake, but..."
"But I can't see you being this any longer!" Caitlyn said, now visibly upset. "We found... We never found anything. No corpse... There's no evidence that she-"
"Maybe... because nothing was left" Vi replied with a bitter and sad voice. A brief moment of unbearable silence returned to the lavishly decorated living room.
"Do you really want to give up on her?" Cait asked her challengingly.
„You just don’t stop, do you?“ Vi’s voice trembled with a plea for mercy as her head rested in her hands, fingers pressing lightly against her temples.. Under different circumstances, Caitlyn’s attempt to cheer her up might have felt sweet and kind-hearted. But right now, it was anything but. Jinx was gone—dead, most likely. And even if she had survived, she had still abandoned her sister. Again. Perhaps this time, forever
"With you? Never,“ Caitlyn said, her smile steady and reassuring, as she gently took the initiative to draw Vi back into a much needed embrace. For both of them. She couldn’t afford to waste this chance to give Vi the desperately needed hope she clung to. Especially now that the jar had been opened. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was false hope—but what choice did she have? If anyone could manage to escape such a situation, it had to be Jinx. Who else, if not her? She had always been almost impossible to kill ever since she entered Caitlyn’s life. And as much as Caitlyn had once wished her gone, now she found herself hoping—desperately—that Jinx would return. How ironic actually...