After
The first time Kakashi came to visit he leant against the cold stones of the wall opposite Sasuke’s cell for several minutes without speaking before turning about and leaving again.
Sasuke wasn’t quite sure what to make of the whole spectacle. It was at least better than Naruto and Sakura’s tearful remarks and Shikamaru’s biting comments.
And so he remained against the back wall of his cell, his whole body shrouded under the black cloak that they had allowed him to keep in order to combat the cold. He did not meet Kakashi’s eyes, because he didn’t particularly care whether Kakashi was watching him or not. What did it matter? They all came to watch him like a rat in a cage.
In truth, he couldn’t look Kakashi in the face. Surely, he had let Naruto and Sakura down, although they had made it clear that, for whatever idiotic reason, they still cared for him. But with Kakashi, he had no idea where he stood. Two months and this was the first time he dared show his face.
When Kakashi walked away, it was with a long sigh. His footsteps continued away: There should be twenty for him, to the end of the hallway, Sasuke estimated.
Twenty. He was right.
Only the familiar sound of the door clanging open never came. Instead, there was a low murmur that Sasuke strained to hear:
“If he asks for anything, inform me. I’ll deal with it.”
And then the low yet recognisable voice of one of the guards, replying; “Yes sir.”
Finally, the door opened and swung shut, allowing a brief fresh burst of air through. Sasuke always caught the faint smell of the leaves whenever that happened.
Settling back on his bunk, Sasuke returned to wallowing in silence.
Well, that had settled that. He figured Kakashi wasn’t likely to come back. Not for a long while, at least.
*
Kakashi came back the next week.
And then the next.
And the next.
Always the same day and time. Sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for close to an hour.
They never spoke.
One time, Kakashi brought his book and leant against the wall, chuckling occasionally to himself. That had been annoying. Although the rhythmic turning of the pages was… Familiar.
Before he knew it, Sasuke had fallen asleep on his bunk and, when he awoke two hours later, Kakashi was gone.
*
On the twelfth visit, Sasuke gave in to his curiosity.
Shuffling up on his bunk, he asked; “Why are you here?”
Kakashi had brought his book again. His eyes- and it was strange, seeing both pitch-black eyes now- froze on the top of the page.
“Why am I here?” Kakashi’s tone was light and neutral. If Sasuke didn’t know him, he wouldn’t recognize the care that had gone into sounding so casual.
“Yes”, Sasuke repeated, still shuffling to achieve whatever measure of comfort he could achieve in that room. Kakashi knew how to test his patience.
“To see you.”
“Don’t you have something more important to do than come and torment me?”
“Torment you?” Still in the same cheery, measured voice.
“Yes”, the prisoner hissed back through his teeth.
And now the twin black circles darted in Sasuke’s direction and fixed on his own.
“You know we have both suffered worse torture than each other’s presence.”
“Not much worse.”
That made Kakashi chuckle. Sasuke watched him, expression neutral.
Eventually, Kakashi sighed. “Well, I wanted to check up on you, I suppose. After all, I’m still responsible for your wellbeing.”
“No, you’re not. I’m not you’re student anymore. And I haven’t been for a long time. I left that behind.” Almost reflexively, a sneer entered Sasuke’s voice. “And you were never that great of a teacher anyway.”
“I meant as a member of the village. I’m to be the next Hokage.”
That was… A surprise. He had half-assumed that Kakashi already was; at least, from the way Naruto spoke sometimes, it had certainly seemed so.
Determined not to let it show, he stated, “I left the village behind, too.”
Kakashi closed his book firmly and spread his hands before hooking them in his pockets. “And now you’re back. So, while you’re here, you’re my responsibility.”
The faux-joyful tone in his voice made Sasuke feel sick. He decided he’d had enough of that conversation, drawing his knees up to his chest and scowling.
“I’ll see you next week, Sasuke”, Kakashi continued. “Hopefully. If this next mission goes well.”
With that, he turned on his heels and began walking away.
Sasuke counted fourteen steps. He tilted his head slightly, straining to hear. What was it that had given Kakashi pause?
After a second of silence, Kakashi’s voice came from along the corridor, quiet yet firm; “And, Sasuke? No, I don’t have anything better to do.”
Six more steps and Sasuke was alone again.
*
Kakashi did not return the next week.
Or the week after.
There could not have been anything drastically wrong, Sasuke reasoned with himself, or Sakura would have mentioned it in her most recent visit. Instead, she had spent half an hour discussing flower arranging.
He stared at the ceiling for fifteen days before he asked one of the guards as he strolled by his cell. They did that occasionally: It must be boring, he thought, for them to sit by the door all day and night. When they first did it, they would stare into his cell, as if he were some kind of freakshow, only as the weeks passed and he did nothing to entertain them, they soon lost interest and learnt to avert their eyes from his glare.
Aoba was his name if Sasuke remembered correctly. Not that it really mattered; but the man was indeed familiar, from the days before.
“Where is Kakashi?”, he asked, his voice coming out hoarse, when the guard had doubled back on his path and was returning to his usual spot.
Aoba half-jumped out of his skin, and he held back a smirk.
The guard watched him suspiciously for some time, and Sasuke waited impatiently for him to calm down. He should not even have bothered to ask.
Clearing his throat, Aoba told him, with a worried glint in his eye and an overly-polite edge to his voice; “Tsunade has been extremely busy. Kakashi has been helping her with various international meetings, working to foster peace and rebuild the great nations.” He paused. “To the best of my knowledge, the missions are going well.”
Sasuke nodded to him, and then returned to looking at the ceiling.
That was the thing, about being in the cell. He understood why they were doing it, even if to him it seemed completely ridiculous. There had to be some punishment, in their eyes, for the crimes he had committed. Honestly, he did not mind it too much. It wasn’t too much different from when he had been confined to Orochimaru’s hideout.
The true punishment, he thought, was not knowing. The outside world was changing rapidly, it seemed, in the wake of the war, and he was a small it that was increasingly out of place. It was not just the village: Naruto and Sakura had showered him in plentiful detail about that, and he had been allowed out to take a short walk one night; under supervision, of course. But of the forest beyond that, and the other villages, he had only memories. He could not imagine anything being the same as before, but he could also not imagine what might be different.
*
Another six days later, Kakashi walked in.
Sasuke heard the familiar slow footsteps approaching and sat up in his bunk expectantly after the first ten with his legs crossed and back straight.
As he came into view at the side of the cell, Kakashi paused in the middle of step number eighteen, his book held open in one hand.
“Am I going to get to read my book today?”, he asked.
Instead of answering, Sasuke requested; “Tell me about him.”
The book was closed and tucked away. Good. Kakashi seemed to have understood immediately what he was asking.
Tilting his head, Kakashi asked; “What do you want to know?”
Sasuke swallowed. “What he was like. The missions you went on. The things he never told me.” He hesitated. “I don’t know what else.”
As though reading off of a grocery list, Kakashi began: “He was a good soldier. Young, of course. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him, in the grand scheme of things, but in the little time we did spend together he impressed me with his skill.” He paused, eyeing Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t blink, and he continued. “He was made to see and do things that no child should have to do, and he took it all in his stride. I do not know how it affected him, because he did not come to me with these things- he had no reason to- but he was hesitant to kill, initially. That wasn’t out of the ordinary: New recruits to the Anbu sometimes were. But he adapted. I believe by our third or fourth mission he was an effective assassin.”
Ever so minutely, Sasuke’s hands clenched into fists.
It didn’t go unnoticed.
“I’ll tell you more next time. Remembering these things makes me tired.” Kakashi pushed away from the wall, yawning. “You can always send for me if you do want to know more, in the meantime. But for now, I’m going to go and find another quiet spot to read.”
*
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Before, you mean? The day of the massacre. Only in passing. He seemed no different than usual. I suppose that was one of the reasons I didn’t believe it at first, that it could have been him.”
“When did you start to believe?”
“When I saw the bodies.”
*
Another twelve days passed without a visit from Kakashi.
Punctual as ever, Aoba trotted down the corridor. Sasuke could tell from his steps- shorter than usual- that he was carrying a tray of food.
Without speaking, he put the tray into the hatch at the side of the cell and then slid it across so that it was accessible for Sasuke.
Sasuke took it. Rice and some kind of vegetable dish.
After a few seconds he realized that rather than the usual steps retreating down the hall, he heard mere silence.
Glancing up, he arched one eyebrow at Aoba, who still stood watching him.
The guard cleared his throat and said; “Kakashi is away on a mission. He should be back soon.”
Ah. That made sense, he supposed.
Sasuke didn’t say anything as he took a bite of his food, and then came the steps as Aoba made himself scarce. It occurred to him that perhaps he should have thanked Aoba, except there was no point in thanking someone for such simple information.
If anything, he should have thanked the man for leaving him to eat his meal in peace.
*
Two days later, Kakashi was back.
When he walked in, Sasuke was reading one of the books that Sakura had brought him on her last visit.
“How was your mission?”, he asked.
If Kakashi was surprised about him enquiring, he didn’t show it, instead stopping in his usual place and hooking his thumbs into his pockets.
“Good, actually”, he answered pleasantly. “Gaara is growing into quite the young Kazekage. I apologize for being gone for so long, and for not letting you know that I wouldn’t be able to visit.”
The ‘I’ll warn you next time’ was imagined by Sasuke, but he felt the implication hanging in the air regardless.
Sasuke shrugged, and his lips quirked slightly as he replied; “It’s okay.”
*
Slowly, he started asking more questions about the village. Asking Kakashi was far simpler than anyone else. Naruto and Sakura fell over themselves to tell him about their lives, and sometimes the details hurt to hear. Kakashi, on the other hand, would wait for Sasuke to ask, and then give a simple answer. It was a little frustrating at times, to hear the vague responses, but he appreciated Kakashi’s visits much more now. He could almost believe that the man cared for him.
*
“Why aren’t you the Hokage yet?”, he asked one day, during a pause in conversation.
Kakashi paused, and Sasuke heard a huff of air coming from his mouth. “It’s… Complicated.”
“Is it because you don’t want to give up going on missions?”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Kakashi’s expression remained carefully neutral when he responded.
“Perhaps.”
That was puzzling. It was an honour to be asked to be Hokage, so why was Kakashi dragging his heels about it? There had been a time when Sasuke would have killed for that position; quite literally, he would have killed Naruto. But the more he considered it, the more he felt he understood. The position was a complicated one. Whoever assumed it had to make difficult decisions and bear the responsibility of them. Kakashi was likely wise to think it over carefully and not jump in headfirst.
For the first time, a small pang of fear for the future hit Sasuke. Was Naruto not aiming for that very same position still?
He glanced back to Kakashi. Whatever was going on inside that man's head, Sasuke hoped he was remembering to look after his team.
*
Twenty steps. And then two more, as Kakashi approached the cell.
He had never been that close before. Never visited two days in a row before, either.
Sasuke stood and moved closer: Not close, but close enough that he could see the whites of Kakashi’s eyes.
“Kakashi? What is it?” His breath turned thin and shaky and his mind spiralled down, down, down. Were they under attack? Was the village in danger? Were they at war?
Then, more steps, running down the tunnel, quick breaths ricocheting from the walls.
Sasuke braced himself.
And came face to face with Naruto and Sakura, who grinned excitedly as they skidded to a halt next to Kakashi.
His eyes widened minutely as they darted from face to face, seeking answers. He still barely spoke with either of them, other than the same clipped questions intended to prompt conversation that he asked Kakashi, and he was not used to seeing them all together. Clearly it was something that they considered a positive, although he could not imagine what that could be.
Perhaps they were letting him go.
Swallowing around his rising expectations, Sasuke asked; “What is this?”
As though he couldn’t keep his thoughts inside, Naruto hopped from foot to foot and cried; “Happy birthday, Sasuke!” His smile was so wide his cheeks must hurt, Sasuke thought. Then, what Naruto was actually saying struck him.
“What?”, he repeated numbly.
“It’s your birthday”, Sakura explained, somewhat calmer. She brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear, a matching pink flush spreading across her face. “We came to surprise you!”
Sasuke glanced toward Kakashi. What could be seen of his face was amused. That bastard.
“Yeah!”, Naruto was enthusing. “Yeah! I know it must suck being in here, but at least we can come see you now! We can make up for the years we missed!”
“I… Hadn’t realized. That it was my birthday”, he croaked, pausing briefly when they stared at him with matching expressions of bewilderment.
“Oh, Sasuke!”, Sakura cried, moving forward as though she could throw her arms through the barrier to the cell and hug him. Sasuke wondered whether he would let her if she could.
As Naruto and Sakura crowded forward, uttering their usual chatter and gossip about the village, Sasuke found he didn’t mind listening to them so much as he had before. Over Naruto’s shoulder, Kakashi moved to stand in the back, leaning against the wall in his usual spot. Although he didn’t speak much for the rest of the visit, whenever Sasuke glanced over, he was keeping a close watch over the three of them.
*
Sasuke hadn’t expected his freedom to arrive so swiftly.
Were the people of the village truly alright with letting him go like this? He stared blankly ahead at Kakashi, still processing the news. There was no barrier between them, yet he hung back a few steps, just in case.
As though he had read Sasuke’s mind, Kakashi said; “I would stay outside the village for a little while. Some people would not be too happy if they saw you around the streets.”
“I can handle myself”, Sasuke asserted in a robotic tone, then hesitated. “But I intend to head outside anyway. I want to see for myself how this world has changed. Maybe catch up with some… former allies.”
Kakashi looked at him for several seconds, and gave a sharp nod. “If that’s what you want to do. But, Sasuke…” Reaching forward, he placed one hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, and Sasuke’s mind spiked in panic, partly telling him to punch Kakashi though a wall and run, partly wanting to clasp that hand and cling to it like a drowning man. It was the first time in nearly a year that someone had touched him. Maybe longer. “… Always remember that this is your home. You can come back, and you will be safe here.”
Sasuke stared. He didn’t say anything.
Brightening up all of a sudden, Kakashi said; “I think Naruto and Sakura are waiting outside to talk to you.”
Of course. They would probably be excited, likely more excited than Sasuke himself was.
“I’ll be out in a minute.” He took one last look at his cell. When Kakashi walked away, Sasuke took a breath and whispered; “Thank you.”
Kakashi did not react at all, did not turn around or pause in his gait, but Sasuke was somehow sure that he had heard.