Skullduggery
Chapter 4 - Skullduggery
It was pretty late in the morning so the sunlight was getting quite harsh, especially the glare that bounced off the trembling bounty agent's sweaty scalp. As he blubbered his pointless excuses, all I wanted in that moment was to slap that shine right off his big bald head.
Pakura allowed herself a frustrated sigh and peeled me away from violating his personal space any further. "That's enough Kimimaro, you can't blame him for this. He doesn't issue the bounties."
Slinging her arm over my shoulder and around my neck, Pakura escorted us out of the 4th bounty office we'd unsuccessfully visited in half as many weeks. She had to reach a little higher than she was used to, my shoulders were getting taller than hers; so her days of using me as a convenient armrest were at their end.
"Tch. How are we meant to feed ourselves? With B-Rank payouts? I might as well fry rice with my tears because I won't be able to afford oil!"
"Says the man dressed in an embroidered lotus silk kimono. Nobles struggle to dress like you." Pakura caressed the exquisite fabric of my tailor-made top.
"Of course they can't afford it, they're too busy paying us to do their dirty work." Truthfully the lack of worthwhile, lucrative missions wasn't a real concern for the both of us. The last several years had been extremely profitable, and we'd built up a substantial nest egg. The boredom was becoming the greater concern. But, if the sloppily hidden bloodlust that had been following us for the last few hours was any indication, that would soon change.
Given the rapidly encroaching mist and the very particular song that metal cutting through air sang, the identity of our little stalker was obvious.
"Not them again." Pakura seemed to lose all energy, her head fell back and she released a bone-tired sigh into the sky even as the mist overtook us. This was far from our first encounter with the infamous Zabuza Momochi and Haku Yuki.
Kubikiribocho sliced it's way towards us. It was slow, an easy dodge. Instead, immovable object met very stoppable force when my hand met the blade. Ants can't move mountains after all.
Pakura's sweltering chakra flared briefly and she exhaled a heated breath. The mist evaporated， revealing Haku standing a distance away and Zabuza predictably perched on his favourite roost - his own sword. I ignored him.
"I'm glad you're not wearing a mask this time. Your face may very well be the only beautiful view left in water country."
"It is pleasant to see that you remain in good health as well Kimimaro." Haku approached us, he bowed slightly returning Pakura's lazy wave. "Pakura-sama."
"Always knew you wouldn't be raised right, not even enough manners for a proper greeting for an old friend." He hopped off irritatedly, simultaneously snatching away Kubikiribocho. I let him.
"I taught him long ago that barking at dogs will only get him fleas. He learnt well enough." Pakura rebutted.
"Don't be so harsh Pakura, at least Haku's gotten him wearing a muzzle." I pointed right at his bandaged face.
Zabuza slammed the sword down, plunging it deep into the ground. "It's not a muzzle! It's tactical shinobi wear."
"Tactical for what? Hiding your herpes?"
Haku immediately jumped to the rapidly enraging Zabuza's defense. "I assure you, Zabuza-sama has not contracted herpes. Though he has ailed from various other venereal diseases in the past, I have successfully treated all of them. The ladies at the bordellos have often shown me kindness, and bestowed their knowledge of many valuable remedies."
Pakura quickly lost any pretense of laziness at that - shooting the demon of the hidden mist a sneer that threatened to eviscerate him. "It's no secret you're complete scum, but I'd never thought you'd take kids to a brothel."
By the way he shrugged it was clear Zabuza held no concern over her judgement. "The girls are sweet on Haku. I give them their little toy, and I get my own playtime too. Win-win deal for me."
Anticipating the poor response from our previous encounters, Haku, serenely as ever, jumped in with a mollifying explanation. "I am undeserving of your worry Pakura-sama. Much like yourself, the women have only ever treated me exceedingly well. Nothing untoward. Beyond medical care, they have even taken their precious time to teach me everything a growing young lady must know."
My sensei could only cover her face in her hands at that response. "You're a boy Haku."
"Indeed I am." Haku's grooming habits were becoming much clearer.
"Well, I think it's a good idea. There's lots of pervs slithering around these parts; when you're as pretty as Haku you're better off with that knowledge than not."
"And would you be one of them, Kimimaro?" Haku tended to be a lot less formal with me.
"No. But I am getting pretty wealthy - so who knows?"
"That's enough!" I received a smack on the back of my head courtesy of sensei. "Momochi, you better tell me why you were following us before I decide I've had enough of you and sun-dry your tomatoes."
"Fine, fine." He reached into a pocket, pulled out a scroll and tossed it over. "You ever heard of Mei Terumi?" I opened the scroll, all that it contained was a sole seal. A reverse summoning. Pakura nodded at Zabuza to continue as I looked over the scroll. "So, her and her little rebel squad are running some big op against Yagura soon and they need a few more hands on deck."
"Dropping bounties to become a messenger now?"
"Not a damn chance. I will admit bounties are beneath me now though. The way I see it, if Terumi is having enough troubles with her revolution that she's seeking out thugs like me, she's clearly not ready for leadership. I'll meet up with her sure, but I'll crack a few skulls and have her and her entire army behind me."
"Well, it seems like you have it all figured out there, Mizukage Momochi." I tossed the scroll back. "Don't see how we're involved."
"Figured you two could hop on the wagon before it gets going. You're both strong enough to be part of my shinobi force - and who knows what kind of a bumbling, backwater buffoonery Terumi's running; I can't rely on that. Besides, I know you weren't able to get any worthwhile missions. Some greedy little merc group's been snatching all the good jobs for weeks."
The offer was ridiculous. But the opportunity it presented was an enticing one. Pakura knew me well enough to know I was thinking our options through, and chose to let me take the lead on the decision. And in all honesty, one thing Zabuza did get right was that we really didn't have anything else to do; a war seemed like a fairly pragmatic situation to test ourselves as well - no point letting our rigorous training go to waste after all. I glanced at Pakura to gauge her impression. Tight lips, but no real fire in her eyes - reluctant but ultimately indifferent either way. Looks like it's time for some guerilla warfare. "Alright, let's go see you become Mizukage." An obvious lie, but he didn't need to know that.
"That's what I like to hear!" Zabuza spread open the scroll and Haku began going through a set of seals on one hand. "You make a demon happy enough to wanna kiss you."
"No thanks, I'm good without the herpes." And with that we poofed away with the reverse summons.
A nondescript Mist rebel rushed into Mei Terumi's command tent. She along with Ao and a handful of other shinobi were poring over a map. "Mei-sama, Zabuza Momochi has arrived."
Mei continued to hover over her position. "I'll be there later. Keep him with the others."
"He has brought two unknowns with him ma'am."
Immediately they perked up, Zabuza and the Yuki were meant to come quietly and alone. Ao quickly expanded his Byakugan and was startled to see the massive chakra signatures next to the swordsman. Mei didn't need to be told to know there was something wrong; she rushed out with Ao following closely behind.
"Terumi! Get out here, I'm here for my-" beating would have been appropriate, considering the fist that met his face - which in turn met the ground.
"What is the meaning of this Zabuza? Do you not understand the meaning of covert ops? We're trying to weaken Yagura, and you bring strangers - potential spies, into my center of operations? Are you completely out of your mind?" As Zabuza dealt with her tirade and an incoming concussion, Pakura and I dealt with a circle of kunai pointed out our throats.
Given her tumultuous history with Mist shinobi, Pakura certainly did not appreciate the hostility directed at her. Her chakra spiked and the closest kunai started melting. "You better back away from me unless you want to be burnt to ash!"
"We're both bloodline users if that helps any." I began in an effort to salvage the situation. "See?" I removed my top and let it fall at my waist to show off the shikotsumyaku, but instantly found myself receiving acupuncture from several jumpy shinobi. Couldn't really blame them, it was an active warzone.
Slowly, bone spikes protruded from underneath my skin, pushing out the embedded kunai from their tips. Surprisingly, that freakshow managed to placate the surrounding army slightly. Ninja were weird.
"A Kaguya… Ao?" Mei stepped away from Zabuza and cautiously approached me. Ao's Byakugan was working full time scanning us for something in particular. Deciding to be helpful, I loosened the tap on my chakra a little too. A sharp crack signaled the ground under my feet shattering.
The Byakugan wielder jumped slightly and tsked in annoyance. "Insufferable brat. They're clean though." He nodded at Mei.
She waved away the crowd and focused in on Pakura, Haku, and I. "You three follow me. I'll interrogate you myself, I need to know how two bloodline users just appeared on my doorstep." She turned around and beckoned us, I expected a much longer mane of hair than I saw. "And someone get that idiot to the med bay. I'll have words with him later."
Current Timeline: <2 TC (Till Canon)
Kimimaro ~ 16 years old
Pakura ~ 26 years old
Naruto ~ 11 years old