"Shika, so you and I..." she said looking up at the sky as she sat beside the boy who was sprawled out on the grass. "It's impossible?"
"Yes Ino." he said, eyes closed and breathing deeply. He had explained his reasons to her as best as he could. Ino had not disputed a single point, only listened with resigned acceptance. It was unusual for her to be so quiet and the spiky hair teenager felt uneasy.
Ino looked down at her feet and let go of the fist she didn't know her hands were making. She was fifteen years old, and in love with her best friend. A best friend, who was so smart, he could see them not working out in the future. She knew why they couldn't, but it didn't make it any easier.
"Shika, if I was someone else, would we have a chance?" she asked bringing her knees to her chest and encircling her arms around them. He had to open his eyes at that. She wasn't crying, just asking if he'd be interested if she wasn't a Yamanaka.
"Yes." he said quietly. "It's not possible to know you Ino and not be in love with you at least once."
He felt her eyes on him and he realized she would always be the one that got away.
"When did you stop?" she asked tucking a stray hair behind her ear. As Shikamaru watched the sunlight fall back against her fair hair and kiss her skin, he knew he never did. But they had rules they needed to obey and the safety of the clans took precedence always. He would not fight or challenge it in this life. There was far too much to lose, he could clearly see the chess King and Queen fall. If his generation made some sacrifices, their children would have more freedom.
"You'll find him someday Ino." he said sitting up. He knew she was about to cry, so he pulled her close for a hug. As she burrowed under his chin, he continued to speak. "He won't be bound by clan politics. He'll let you be yourself. He won't be lazy like me and he'll be much braver."
She pushed him back to shoot him a glare. "You are brave." she defended. He let out a laugh and shook his head. "No Ino. I am a coward. If I was brave, I'd take you with me and become a missing nin."
"Shika," she said softly. She understood his angst and she understood why he couldn't leave it all behind. It wasn't because he was a coward, but because he loved Konoha so fiercely. A union would collapse Ino-Shika-Cho. Shikaku would one day step down and the next Hokage, Naruto, would be without an advisor. The lives of everyone he ever cared for would be jeopardy. He felt sick at the thought of harm coming to Ino because he was selfish about his love for her. He detested the thought of losing it all, just to be able to call Ino his for a while.
No. He wanted to see her shine, watch her bloom and live a full life. He would be there, in the shadows always ready, always waiting to catch her. But no. In this life, he could not fly with her. He could not kiss her and tell her to marry him. It would bring Konoha to it's knees and Shikamaru, the genius that he was knew, that true love need not be romantic.
Ino nodded before wrapping him into a hug. She was better at making the blues go away. He never wanted to lose her. He would make sure she was happy, whoever she ended up with. She would always have the spark in her eyes, the playful quirk to her lips and the silken beauty that captured every shinobi's heart. That was his responsibility.
"It's ok Shika." she said taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "We can be always be in each other's life. Even if not romantically. I know you'll find a good woman to marry. Maybe she'll be ordinary and not troublesome like you wanted."
"You deserve better Ino." he sad kissing the top of her head. "You deserve someone who will move heaven and hell for you and not care at all. You need someone who is irrational when it comes to you. You need someone who can match your fire. I dull it, I take away your shine because I have too many responsibilities that I cannot share. You don't need that, even if you love me."
Ino swallowed the sob in her throat and smiled at him. He was so young and yet so able. She trusted him completely and she understood him. She loved him enough to respect his wishes and step back. It didn't occur to her, the thought of disrespecting his request.
She nodded and lay down on the grass with Shikamaru and looked at the clouds. Contentment filled her soul as sunshine bathed them both. She knew they would be fine. They would grow old together, raise their children together. Maybe in another life...they could have more.
She didn't know then, she would meet another man. She didn't know then if she could ever love again. Shikamaru thought back then he'd die alone. But life works in mysterious ways. Souls find their way towards one another, through war, through peace and through insanity.
Shikamaru closed his eyes again.