Recuérdame

Emma (POV)

That night was karaoke night at Granny's, but honestly, I didn’t care. I was there, as I was almost every day, to drink and, even if just for a little while, forget the pain I felt in my chest.

At that moment, I heard the bell that announced someone’s entrance. When I turned around, I saw the two people I least wanted to see, people I had been avoiding for a month. When they sat at one of the tables, I decided to leave without them noticing me. But Ruby caught onto my intentions. She approached me and said it was time to get over it, and that if I ran away every time I saw Robin and Regina enter somewhere I was, I’d never move on. After all, she knew everything I was feeling. She was the one who found me a month ago, crying after discovering Regina kissing Robin in the woods.

For once, I decided to face the situation instead of running away, as I usually did, and stay to try to enjoy the night. Even though, at that moment, I wasn’t expecting Ruby to decide how I would confront the situation.

A little later, when the karaoke had started and different people had already sung some songs, I heard my name. It was my turn. I froze, even more so when I heard the title of the song I was supposed to sing. At that moment, I clearly remember asking myself who the jerk was that signed me up. But I knew as soon as I saw Ruby’s expression.

I still don’t know how I got on stage. I suppose it was the alcohol and the desire to rid myself of the feelings consuming me from within.

The first notes of the song vibrated in the air, but my heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear them. My throat closed up, and for an instant, I thought about stepping off the stage. But then, my eyes found her. Regina. Sitting next to him, she looked at me with astonishment. The world seemed to stop at that moment. Everything I had tried to bury resurfaced with devastating force, like a wave dragging me helplessly. The knot in my throat loosened just enough for me to sing the first words, but each verse seemed to tear me apart inside.

Deja que hable, deja que hoy te cuente, ("Let me speak, let me tell you today,)
como quema que te vayas entre lágrimas me duele. ( How it burns that you leave; it hurts me through tears.)
Déjame verte, una despedida y ya me quedo en este infierno al ver que hoy me olvidas. Párale los pies a ese reloj que nos controla que no nos deja ser,
que apaguen el sol de una vez.(Let me see you, one last goodbye, and I’ll stay in this hell seeing that today you forget me. Stop the feet of that clock that controls us, that doesn’t let us be, let them turn off the sun once and for all.")

As I sang the opening lines, memories of how our relationship began as just wild, unrestrained sex came flooding back. After one of our fights, when I couldn’t hold back and silenced her with a kiss, it spiraled from there. Later, I’d wait for the night to come so I could meet her, wishing, night after night in her bed, that time would stop so I wouldn’t have to leave her side at dawn. But in the end, I was just a substitute for Graham, someone to warm her sheets whenever she wanted.

Recuérdame ahora que ya decidiste ir con Él... ("Remember me now that you’ve already decided to go with him...)
Que sea lo que deba ser aunque a mí me toque perder. (Let it be what it must be, even if I have to lose.)
Recuérdame ahora que tu piel ya se fundió con su piel su mundo ya gira en torno a ti y tú no piensas volver... (Remember me now that your skin has already merged with his, his world now revolves around you, and you don’t plan to return...")

When I sang those words, I couldn’t help but look at her. I don’t know why. In her eyes, I saw surprise, sadness, fear, and something else I couldn’t identify—an expression that didn’t resemble the way she looked at him, with tenderness, understanding, and love. A look that shattered my heart a month ago and from which I hadn’t yet recovered. But I was going to do it. I was going to forget her so I could be happy and let her be happy with him.

Donde te marchas, ("Where are you going,)
donde piensas irte vayas donde vayas sé que ya no voy a perseguirte... (where do you plan to go; wherever you go, I know I won’t chase you anymore...")

I was going to move on, far from her, so she could be happy with what was supposed to be her soulmate.

Cuánto le amas besa como eso dime que aún no te ha tocado como lo hicieron mis dedos, párale los pies a ese reloj que nos controla, que no nos deja ser,
que apaguen el Sol de una vez...
("How much do you love him? Kiss like this. Tell me he hasn’t touched you like my fingers did. Stop the feet of that clock that controls us, that doesn’t let us be, let them turn off the sun once and for all...")

I remembered some of our nights together, during which I gradually fell in love with her.

Recuérdame ahora que ya decidiste ir con Él... ("Remember me now that you’ve already decided to go with him...)
Que sea lo que deba ser aunque a mí me toque perder... (Let it be what it must be, even if I have to lose.)
Recuérdame ahora que tu piel ya se fundió con su piel, su mundo ya gira entorno a ti y tú no piensas volver... (Remember me now that your skin has already merged with his, his world now revolves around you, and you don’t plan to return...")

Here, I remember feeling overwhelmed by anger because those were the feelings that had consumed me for the past month—a month since she decided to end what we supposedly had. I guess, for her, it meant nothing. A month where she decided to start dating him because of a stupid tattoo, and a month since my heart broke and still ached. But the worst part was knowing that if she came looking for me, I’d go back to her without a second thought, despite all the pain she had caused me.

Si supieras la agonía ...decir adiós perderte y no volver a verte más. ("If you knew the agony... saying goodbye, losing you, and never seeing you again.)
Si pudieras revivirme prométeme buscarme como una vez lo hiciste porque te vas si yo me pierdo ...mi cuerpo entero en llamas... (If you could revive me, promise me you’ll find me as you once did because you’re leaving and I lose myself... my entire body in flames...")

The last chord faded into the air, but the pain continued to vibrate in my chest, stronger than ever. People were clapping, but it all sounded distant, as if I were underwater. I saw Ruby, her gaze full of pride, but I couldn’t return the smile. I could only think of Regina and the way she was looking at me. Did she even understand what I was trying to tell her through the song? I wanted to run to her, to shout that I still loved her, but my body refused to move. So I did the only thing I knew how to do: run.

Without looking back at Regina, I left the bar. As I walked away, I hoped to hear the bell announcing the door opening, but that sound never came.