Chapter 7
It wasn’t that Sakura had never killed a man before: she graduated same as everyone. It wasn’t that she was worried she’d be punished: she had known the rules of engagement by heart since she was a kid, and they were pretty damn clear about the unilateral right to absolute defense of village assets and personnel. But still, somehow, after she killed that civilian she felt as though something should have changed.
Maybe it was because it was an accident. She really hadn’t meant to, hadn’t even thought – she had never faced an opponent that didn’t even try to dodge before. It was a humbling reminder of how far above civilians shinobi stood. She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, when she remembered. She thought maybe Naruto or Sasuke would at least bring it up, but neither of them mentioned it. And Sakura certainly wasn’t going to do so herself.
When Kakashi had next appeared in their base (where he spent a grand total of three hours beating them black and blue in the courtyard, before disappearing to convene with Renji at the tower), he told her that he’d been briefed about the disturbance she’d handled.
“Anything to add?” He’d asked.
She was half-squatting, half-collapsed on the ground, panting for breath. Naruto’s endless stamina meant he had already made it to his feet, and she could see him staggering towards his flask of water out of her peripherals. Sasuke was lying face-down in the grass on the other side of the courtyard. She supposed this was privacy.
“Not really,” she said. She wasn’t going to admit it was a mistake, so what else could she say? There’d been a disturbance, and she’d handled it.
“Not really?” Kakashi’s tone was completely expressionless, but she could sense him mocking her.
“No, sir.”
“That’s better,” he said, and put a hand on her head, patting her lightly like a dog. The pressure pushed Sakura back off of her aching legs onto the ground in a graceless sprawl.
She huffed in frustration, and Kakashi’s eye curved up in a smile. Sakura thought she was getting better at reading him, or he was getting better at pretending, but it made her smile too.
He squatted down, looming over her. His gaze was hard, now, serious, and Sakura felt like she couldn’t breathe as he evaluated her. His eye wandered to her blade, and he wondered if he was seeing the blood on it the way she did.
She wondered if he was going to share something, some wisdom from the top. About what it meant to be a shinobi. About killing a civilian. About the third war.
“The blood will get on you if you’re too close,” he said.
Sakura preferred the way Suzume-sensei doled out lessons – lesson plan, objective, sub-targets and all – but she understood.
She wanted to ask him something, maybe. Not, “did I do the wrong thing?” because she knew her rights, obviously, but maybe something like –
“You’re improving,” Kakashi said. “Keep up the good work.”
It was enough to leave her giddy with victory the whole day.
For the most part, nothing changed, and she realized it was silly to think something would have. Team 7 requisitioned grain (and vegetables), Koji managed to squirrel up some pears that Naruto would refuse to eat, they waited for Kakashi, trained individually and in team formations, requisitioned grain, played cards, chatted in the barracks, and requisitioned more grain. Sometimes Sakura wrote letters home, received a few from her father and a few dozen from her mother (in packs of ten at a time – the courier had laughed when he delivered them), and was mildly scandalized that Sasuke didn’t. Other times, she sat with Hana’s squad, and she managed to pester Koji into sparring with her a few times, before he got bored of kicking her around, but she found herself spending more and more time with the her own boys.
It actually went okay. She was maybe a little mad at Naruto, for starting it all, with the civilians back then. He didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, like, ever. But she thought that he probably felt a little guilty too, and their relationship had somehow improved as a consequence. She was a little angry and he was a little apologetic, and for a moment, sometimes, it made him seem vulnerable (at least when Sakura’s annoyance and anger helped her forget her fear). In those moments, he wasn’t really so bad. He actually seemed kind of sensitive, with the passionate grudge he was holding against Koji for exploiting the poor villagers, as though Koji was the one setting norms, as though the norms were unfair, and as though a bag of fruit would change things one way or another. It was a little naïve and definitely annoying when he would bring it up (in rants to the two of them was one thing, but when he started pressing a bemused Koji en route to target, Sakura wanted to die of embarrassment), but at the same time, it was the kind of thing that made you think that Naruto would probably do his best not to explode into a demon and murder you. Or at least would feel really bad if he did. Sakura tried not to think about it.
Anyway, there was always Sasuke. Sakura would never, ever, ever get bored of sparring with him (though he never wanted to go one-on-one, he was almost always down for team drills), or cooking with him, or talking with (at) him. He didn’t need to say anything – which he didn’t, most of the time, he was too cool for that, though he and Naruto seemed to be more chatty with one another – just looking at him was nice.
Ino would be so jealous. Sakura missed her.
A week passed, and then another, and tension grew in the barracks as they awaited the scheduled Sand patrol that didn’t seem to come. Hana and Kakashi’s dogs were ever-present, patrolling in and out of the camp, but always with the same news: no site of them. By the time two months had gone by since their arrival at camp, Sakura had started to despair that Sand would ever arrive.
She just hoped that they would be redeployed before the Rain invasion (that was technically classified and definitely not in the works, of course), because sitting it out at this dismal base would kill her, her parents would be so disappointed, and what was the point of elite of the elite if you were going to waste away in the middle of nowhere? She didn’t want to become another Miss Backwater Base.
Then one day at lunch hour, Hyuuga Hiroji jerked to his feet from where he had been sitting in the mess, veins surging forth around his blank, all-seeing eyes.
“Contact.”
The word sent the hall into a flurry of motion, food forgotten. Sakura whipped around from her seat besides Sasuke. Hiroji’s teammate Nobu had already disappeared from his spot besides the Hyuuga, presumably racing to the tower to inform Captain Renji.
Hiroji continued to speak as the contents of the mess hall gathered around him to listen – Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Koji, and one of the two older chuunin men.
“300 degrees. No, 290 degrees, Captain Kakashi is already with them; Hana’s making a rendezvous. 2 miles. Less. Squad of three. No, four. Chakra levels are abnormally high, I can’t get a good look, one of them is too bright. 300 degrees. Speed is low, ETA at Point Beta, 10 minutes. 290 degrees, damnit, stop that, Captain. 300.”
Sakura jumped when Renji’s hand touched her shoulder. The dark-haired jounin had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, just to shoot her an irritated look.
“What are you all waiting for?” He growled, pushing her away from where she’d slithered up to stand besides Hiroji.
She turned to Sasuke, whose face was a grim mask. Naruto looked unusually serious as well, and when he made eye contact, she couldn’t help but rock backwards on her feet.
Koji, on the other hand, was smiling, nose crinkled and eyes practically dancing.
“Nobu to the tower, Hiroji, on me, I want you to keep it up,” Renji began to spit out orders, “Touya, take the gate, but first round up the others, I want Noriko on the West approach, Koji – ”
“I’m with them,” Koji interrupted. “Captain Kakashi wants a babysitter.”
“Get to it then.” Renji accepted the statement without complaint, of course he did, Kakashi-sensei’s superiority of rank was never in question. He began to walk away, guiding Hiroji with him.
“Well, brats, I guess we’ve got some friends to make, huh? Show some prissy desert bastards who’s boss, how’d you think?” Koji sounded gleeful.
“Do you have your packs nearby?” Sasuke asked, clearly addressing her and Naruto while ignoring Koji, as had become his habit.
“Believe it!” The rudeness never bothered Naruto.
Sakura was a little too touched he included her to point it out, but she shot Koji a semi-apologetic smile anyway. He just rolled his eyes.
“Yeah,” she answered Sasuke.
“Then let’s get up ‘n at it!” Koji interrupted whatever response Sasuke might have given. “Hiroji,” he raised his voice to call out to his teammate, who was making steady progress towards the doorway, consulting quietly with Renji. “ETA?”
“Steady pace, 10 minutes,” the Hyuuga called back.
“Good.” Suddenly all professionalism, Koji gave the three of them an appraising look. “Let’s go.”
Sakura had the ridiculous, burning desire to brush her hair. She tightened her ponytail.
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They reached Point Beta with time to spare. It was marked by a copse of trees and a single iron watchtower on the ridge of an embankment overlooking the winding path of the Kamo river. The water didn’t look any different, but Sakura was heavily aware that she was outside the Land of Fire for the first time in her life, and had the strange feeling that if she stared at the water for long enough, its alien nature would reveal itself.
She had time for such an exercise, because after their desperate sprint to beat the Sand’s shinobi to the rendezvous point, Koji had said that they should give off a good impression, which meant radiating nonchalance as he sprawled across his chosen tree-trunk, which just happened to have a good view of the northwestern approach.
Radiating coolness was something Sasuke did as easily as breathing, and he had easily taken up a similar position, while Naruto scrambled to the top of the watchtower. Sakura stayed at its base, leaning against one of its iron rails, also facing West, and settled in to wait, flowing just enough chakra into her feet to keep a sliver of distance between herself and the itchy weeds on the ground.
Kakashi’s dogs arrived first, trailing in one by one, until five of them were sprawled around the tower’s base. Kakashi had summoned one or two a few times to hunt them down in training, but she didn’t see Pakkun, and didn’t recognize any of the others by name.
A minute or so later, Kakashi himself blurred into view at the other side of the river. If Hana had indeed rendezvoused, she was already gone, but one of her large dogs loped along the side of the group Kakashi led.
Slowly, at a civilians pace, they crossed the river, while Sakura watched silently, taking her cue from Koji once again. As they approached, four unfamiliar figures came into view, just as Hiroji had promised, the tall man in the lead wearing an exotic-looking turban that seemed to cover half his face. Sakura had the ridiculous thought that he and Kakashi would probably get along quite well – though she remembered the Hyuuga’s comment about abnormal chakra levels, and knew enough to be wary.
One of the shorter figures had red hair, one of the few colors you never, ever saw in Fire, and Sakura couldn’t help but stare at it, wondering what bloodline he was from.
Once near the bank of the river, Kakashi appeared at Sakura’s side in a replacement of swirling leaves. The Suna team followed, sending a small cloud of dusty dirt into the air with their displacements. The red-haired boy’s replacement was completely sand. They stood in a row facing the watchtower, facing Kakashi, facing Sakura, three shorter figures in front with the only adult, wearing a flak jacket, behind. Strangely, she noted, all three of them had bulky packs on their back, far more than a normal trip would require. At least the girl’s seemed like a weapon of some sort, though what exactly was unclear.
“C’mon down, kiddies,” Kakashi called somewhat needlessly.
Sasuke had already stalked towards Sakura, accompanied by two of Kakashi’s larger dogs with something of an intimidating effect, and Naruto was scrambling down the tower. Koji substituted a few steps behind them, off by the watchtower’s side.
“Well, Baki-sensei,” Kakashi gave the word a strange accent, “say hello to my cute little students. This is Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto.” He pointed them out in turn. “And their babysitter of course, you never know what trouble the little rascals will get up to if I’m not there to, hmmm, keep them in line, would you say?
“Well, maybe not quite,” Kakashi’s tone practically oozed sugar. “At least, rein in the damage in the aftermath.
“Cute little students, this is our Suna counterpart, Baki-sensei brought his genin team as well. Wouldn’t you like to introduce yourselves to my cute little students?”
There was a moment of awkward silence at Kakashi’s patronizing croon.
“Temari,” Baki, the jounin in the back, pointed out the single female, a blonde with a frankly odious hairstyle.
“Kankuro.” The taller of the two boys was dressed all in black, with warrior’s paint proclaiming some sort of allegiance Sakura found unfamiliar.
“Gaara.” As Sakura focused on the red-head from up close, his eyes met hers and she had the sudden, horrifying feeling of an mouse staring up at a lion, prey in its paws. For a second she could almost see chakra taking a visible form around him, and her fingers dug painful crescents into her clenched fists to keep herself from staggering backwards. She looked away.
Dangerous…
Something primordial inside of Sakura snapped, collapsed to its knees and burst into tears.
Kakashi’s hand was on her head.
“Now that we’re all best buddies, we can follow the Kamo to the outpost, it’s a beautiful walk, ah, the sites you’ll see, yes, nature is a proud goddess!”
Kakashi’s cheerful tone brought her back to reality as he simultaneously managed to pat both her and Sasuke’s heads, as though they were dogs. Thankfully, he respected her ponytail enough not to muss her hair, as he did to Sasuke, who gripped tightly to his hitae-ate in response with a disgruntled expression.
The cuteness of the moment broke whatever spell Gaara’s presence had cast, but she instinctively felt herself inching closer towards Kakashi, just in case.
“As agreed, we will follow the river to the outpost,” Baki seemed content to pretend to ignore Kakashi’s incomprehensible behavior. “While inspecting to insure the lack of permanent Leaf forces stationed along it, of course. Tomorrow we can cross it, and work our way to the west.”
“Sure, sure, we get to cross the Shinano by Friday, though.” Kakashi responded. “Then it’ll be our turn to take a look at your outposts, hmm?”
“Very well. That would be acceptable. We will push to the Shinano by the end of the week.”
“Of course, you must have a busy schedule,” Kakashi’s voice was slightly mocking. “The Kazekage wouldn’t want all three of his babies far from home for too long, now would he? He might get lonely. We’re honored, of course.”
The Kazekage’s – ?
Though half-covered, Baki’s face was far more expressive than Kakashi’s, and it was easy to see the anger that swept across it.
“That goes without saying,” he said. “We, on the other hand, purely speaking as professionals, nothing personal, you understand. But. Well. The situation must be desperate if this is the best that Konoha has to spare. Really? A demon you can’t control, and a handler you can’t trust, oh dear.”
Sakura felt the insult slap her like a hammer. She very deliberately didn’t glance to see how her teammates had reacted, keeping her eyes on their leader.
Kakashi, however, seemed unphased.
“Is that what they’re saying now?” he asked, giving a languid, full-body shrug. “You must be right, of course. We’ll trust to the hands of the, hmmm,” a meaningful pause, “professionals.”
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Sakura wasn’t sure what she was expecting from diplomacy, but awkward tension seemed to make up the bulk of it. They began a civilian stroll towards the outpost, along the winding route of the river. The indirect path added a few more miles, but it was still something of a short walk, and the fort came into view after something like an hour.
Sakura fell into her usual position at Sasuke’s left, with Naruto on the right. Kakashi took point, leaving Sasuke lagging slightly behind her and Naruto. The Suna team fell into a similar formation nearer to the riverbank, though Gaara stood beside Baki at the front, perhaps even a bit ahead of him. The red-head’s eyes stared resolutely forward but his face was tense with some kind of heavy emotion, and Sakura quickly looked away.
Koji trailed along on their left flank, the side further from the Suna team, among a veritable pack of dogs. He hadn’t said a word.
As they made their way slowly towards the post, Sakura found herself wondering if Kakashi had experienced debilitating brain trauma in childhood. The nature here was the opposite of inspiring: a muddy, slow-moving river, lined with wild weeds, and completely bereft of signs of human life stretched into the distance. The Suna team, however, examined it closely, eyes darting from side to side, and body language obviously on high alert. Well, with the exception of Gaara, plodding unrelentingly forward, that is.
Twice, Baki stopped, taking a sample of water from the river and sealing it away into a smaller version of what had to be some kind of storage scroll. Kakashi made no move to stop him, but also didn’t explain. The Suna shinobi didn’t speak, but occasionally flashed short sequences of unfamiliar hand signs.
The silence was oppressive, and Sakura could almost feel Naruto getting progressively more twitchy in her peripheral vision. He kept sending intense looks at the Suna team, particularly Baki and Gaara, without even trying for any level of subtlety, his right hand itching towards his stomach as he did so, as though nauseous. She wondered if Gaara had disturbed him as much as he had disturbed her. She really, really hoped not. If something could disturb Naruto, the consequences probably weren’t even worth contemplating.
As they approached the outpost, Hana’s dog trotted off ahead, as did four of Kakashi’s. His remaining dogs bunched closer around them, splitting off from Koji to take a stance alongside Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto, who immediately swept the dog into his arms, despite its somewhat uncomfortable size, and began to amuse himself by tickling it (thankfully, mostly silently). Pakkun was with Kakashi, of course.
Baki watched the dogs trailing away sharply.
The outpost seemed completely different by the time they arrived. From afar, a smokestack was visible, rising into the air from the mess, while on approach, the sounds of steel on steel hinted at some sort of swordfight coming from the courtyard or commons. The yowl of dogs was interspersed with some sort of ringing noise, whose origin Sakura couldn’t guess at. Unclear movement caught her eye along the walls, and two stationary figures were clearly visible standing upon the western wall that faced them. Squinting, she guessed one was Renji, but she couldn’t be certain.
In all, it felt convincing. Probably. As long as Naruto didn’t say something dumb.
As though reading her mind, he plopped the dog he had been holding onto the ground, and gave a grand gesture with a grin whose direction somehow included all of them, even the Sand shinobi.
“Hey, sensei – ” Naruto was almost immediately interrupted. Thankfully, Sakura wasn’t the only one who’s thoughts had gone in a dangerous direction.
“Tsh,” Sasuke scoffed. “Better not piss him off, his dogs are the only ones that can still stand you. Didn’t you notice how everyone else’s ran away when you started getting handsy.”
“Now, now, we did talk about letting the grown-ups do the talking, didn’t we?” Kakashi said. His tone was as relaxed as his slouched body posture.
“Yes, very cute,” Baki sounded irritated.
“Yes, you are, my little cuties!” Kakashi swept Pakkun off of the ground and began to delicately balance him on Naruto’s head. The boy squawked in protest, but the dog stayed as still as a statue, eyes somehow emanating a feeling of long-sufferingness.
“This is quite a force you have here, Copy Ninja.” Baki continued, eyes on the outpost. “Won’t you invite us inside?”
A long moment passed, and then another, until Kakashi gave an exclamation of pleasure, and stepped back from where Naruto was balancing on one foot, arms spread in concentration, with Pakkun delicately centered on the crown of his head, wide haunches slightly hanging over the boy’s ears.
“Sorry, did you say something?” Kakashi’s voice was the picture of angelic innocence.
They continued on without entering the outpost, pushing south along the border, towards the sea. Kakashi brought them a few miles away from the border itself, upping the pace to a lazy jog. It was a tempo Sakura easily recognized and could match without problems, but no one seemed frustrated by the slowness. In fact, the Sand team called for breaks fairly frequently, during which Baki even took occasional notes, that he sealed into another storage scroll.
After a few hours the countryside began to slowly pick up some semblance of life – trees! Sakura felt a fondness swell up in her heart – the Sand team began to stop more and more frequently. When the smokestacks of some kind of civilian settlement came into view on the horizon, Baki insisted that his team enter it alone, to “ensure the truthfulness of civilian testimony on your activities in the region.”
What a smarmy jerk, Sakura decided. She couldn’t stand the condescending way he talked, or the hard accent he placed on his vowels.
They settled on the riverbank around a half-mile from the settlement to wait. It was a different branch of the Shinano that Sakura couldn’t name, wider, and faster than the lazy Kamo. Naruto waited until the other team had disappeared on their way to the village-like structure of hovels to explode.
“What’re we gonna just not talk? The whole time! What’s the whole point, if we’re not even gonna try and make friends!”
Koji let out a scoff that reminded Sakura of his presence. Somewhere along the way, she had started to overlook him. Kakashi just gave Naruto his usual blank look.
“Kakashi-sensei! They didn’t come to fight those Stone bastards with us ‘cuz we weren’t good enough friends, right? Then we gotta make them understand! We can help each other, believe it!”
Well, those are the Kazekage’s children. Sakura couldn’t help but think that Naruto might have a point.
Koji scoffed again, but Sasuke also seemed like he was thinking on it.
“You two want to make friends too?” Kakashi asked, eyeing them.
Sakura waited for Sasuke, who eventually, slowly, gave something of a nod, before she too enthusiastically agreed.
“Right,” Kakashi snorted. “Because Mr. Sunshine has made a single friend in his life. Okay. I don’t know if they’ll appreciate the distraction, but you kiddies can feel free to play friends too if you want. It’ll be more entertaining for me, at least.”
He paused, then added: “Just don’t bait them into any bloodshed, all right?”
Sakura really hoped he didn’t consider that a normal part of making friends. Then again, it wasn’t as if Naruto or Sasuke were particularly experienced in the matter.
Naruto looked ready to pounce on the opportunity.
Pounce he did, but Kakashi’s warnings turned out to be more salient than Sakura had expected. Maybe that was because Naruto decided to start with Gaara.
Maybe it was because he did literally pounce.
The red-haired genin (who apparently had some sort of sand bloodline that moved faster than a hyperactive Naruto, good to know) successfully rebuffed Naruto’s attack, but Naruto was undeterred.
“Hey, hey, Gaara-san! You seem like you’re our age, yeah? What’s it like being a genin in Suna? Konoha’s the best, you better believe it!”
Gaara stared at him wordlessly, but the whole Sand team radiated enough shock to make up for the boy’s lack of expression.
At least Gaara seemed to quickly understand that Naruto hadn’t meant him any harm as Naruto continued to ramble, something about ramen, of course, and wasn’t being out of the village so completely the coolest? He watched Naruto silently for some time, but made no aggressive moves, and Sakura felt herself begin to relax.
This was a horrible idea.
“Though, y’know, it’s kinda gloomy here, I like it better in the forest, but the river goes on forever, like just imagine if you were gonna swim all the way to the ocean, yeah?”
Naruto was completely capable of holding a one-person conversation, but Gaara was in no mood to tolerate it.
“Shut up,” finally, Gaara spoke. “Or I’ll kill you.”
Then, he turned south, and began to move at their normal pace, as though expecting the others would wordlessly follow him.
Temari’s face pinched into an unpleasant expression, and she shot off after him.
“What the hell?” Naruto spluttered, spinning around to look at Kakashi. Naruto didn’t look nearly as worried about a death threat from Gaara as Sakura thought he should.
Kakashi, unbelievably, seemed amused.
“I’m sure this is just a miscommunication among you, what was it? That’s right. Professionals,” he said.
Kakashi snicked at his own joke, and Baki glared.
“Anyway,” Kakashi drawled, “how about we call it a day and camp here for the night? We’ll take this side of the river. You can take the other. When your boy calms down, at least.”
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“We’ll be meeting up with them after noon each day, until then they get some leniency in their ‘investigations’ ensuring we haven’t been crossing our treaty lines, so it’s polite to pretend to give them some space,” Kakashi explained over a hearty dinner of tinned meat over rice. He was using what Sakura thought of as his teacher voice, for once without any weird commentary: “For now I’ll use that time to show you three some tricks that will be useful when it’s our turn to do the same on their side.”
Sakura was glad they made camp so early; she hadn’t actually had a chance to eat at lunch, before they’d been distracted.
They set up on the eastern side of the river, closer to Konoha, while the Sand team set up some distance to the south on the western side. It was far enough that the flicker of a campfire was visible, but no sound carried over – all that could be heard was the sound of running water.
She shoveled protein into her mouth, staring mindlessly into the fire as Kakashi laid out their plan.
“We need to be looking for traces of shinobi presence,” Kakashi continued. Really, my dogs can do most of the job, but it never hurt to learn some tracking tricks. I’ll go over the basics with you all tomorrow.
“Today all of you were fine. Naruto, it’s fine if you want to keep trying to engage them, but don’t do anything too provocative. Maybe give the others a try, hmm?
“Of course, you need to get the fuck out of here first.”
His tone suddenly turned hard.
Sakura almost jumped in shock, looking up to see Kakashi staring at Koji, who was squatting across from the fire, hair a pale golden in the firelight.
“Captain?” Koji asked.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” Kakashi continued. “I don’t know why you thought I would tolerate this. Your presence here is unnecessary and embarrassing, and the idea that my soldiers would need your help is ridiculous. So pack up and get back to the outpost before I send you there myself.”
“I just, I mean, Captain Renji just thought – ”
“We both know Renji played no part in this,” Kakashi’s ignored Koji’s continued weak protests. “Don’t think I don’t remember you. I do. You had your chance, and you blew it. This is serious, and I’m not going to waste my time coddling you while you humiliate Konoha to the world.
“I don’t like to repeat myself: get the fuck out of here.”
They watched in silence as, hurriedly repacking his tent and fleeing into the rapidly darkening twilight, Koji left.
Sakura noticed her meat had gone cold. She picked at it uncertainly.
Meanwhile, Naruto found his voice, though it was weak and uncertain.
“Kakashi-sensei, you embarrassed him in front of everybody? That is, I mean, why did you…?” He asked.
“We’re here to posture, Naruto,” Kakashi said, voice much more gentle. “It looks bad if I think you kiddies need some kind of support. Either I’m incompetent, or you are.” I’m not incompetent went unsaid. “The Kazekage’s children are here. You all need to match that.
“He thought he could use this as an opportunity to impress me, and make up for his previous failures. That’s not how it works in this world. Mistakes are fatal, and you can’t take them back. Sometimes that’s hard to accept, but it’s important not to put our own ambitions before the village.
“Isn’t that right, Sasuke?”
Sakura turned to look at Sasuke in confusion, but the light of the fire cast strange shadows across his face, leaving it unreadable.
Sakura thought about Koji.
She thought about him when she mechanically cleaned her pot, and when she pilfered firewood from one of the civvie shacks in the nearby settlement. She thought about how easily he kicked her around the courtyard, how professionally he had lead their missions. She thought about him when she returned to the camp and was assigned third watch, and when she snuggled into her bed roll to get comfortable for the night. She thought about how he swore he had once been recruited for ANBU, and how he was wasting away at an outpost that would never see any action.
She thought about how cutely his nose wrinkled when he laughed.
She looked up at the dark fabric of their tent, imagined the bright stars beyond it, and thought about Koji.
She thought about her own mistakes, and the man that was dead because of them.
I’ll be better than that, she thought. No matter what it takes.
No. I’ll be the best.