God He's Beautiful
Currently, Team Seven is participating in the current Chunin Exam.
The last exam is to be held in a month, and they have already passed the first one.
Kakashi, while pretending to be aloof in the situation, is clearly worried about his precious Genin.
He believed in them, but the exams could be dangerous and Kakashi was often protective of his charges. They were his, his pack.
For a while, I thought I was his pack too, but clearly, I was mistaken.
Ever since unceremoniously confessing my feelings, Kakashi has refused to talk about it, instead deciding to ignore the entire thing and pretend everything was the same as before.
And it was, at least to him.
He acts like I never said a thing.
But I can’t go back, I’ve come too far, crossed a line. A very thick and sticky line.
When I think back now, I realize what an idiot I was.
Here I worried if I could love this man, when the real question was if he could love me.
Honestly, every time I was near him it hurt.
Hurt that he ignored my feelings.
Hurt that I wasn’t enough.
Hurt, hurt, hurt.
So now I was avoiding Kakashi in a way that was as unnoticeable as possible.
Staying in my room ‘sleeping’ until he left, working late with the Hokage, turning in early because I’m ‘tired.’
Sometimes, Kakashi’s eye would flash with pain, so quickly I would question its existence.
But he never said a word.
“(Y/N), this has gone on long enough.”
Until now that is.
Sighing I braced myself.
Was he finally going to verbally reject me? I don’t think I could handle that.
“What do you mean Kakashi?” I asked, attempting to give myself more time by playing dumb.
Kakashi sighed in exasperation, coming to sit down next to me.
I was sitting in my bed, working on a little art project. An imagined ANBU with a wolf's mask.
Closing the little sketchbook I hid it under my covers, not wanting Kakashi to see what I was drawing.
“You can’t avoid me forever. You’re my wife.” Kakashi’s tone was light, a bit strained, but joking and welcoming.
I cringed at the reminder.
I was his wife, but not his lover.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
Okay maybe playing innocent isn’t mature, but I really didn’t want to talk about it.
Talking meant verbal rejection, and a verbal rejection meant squashing the last bit of hope I had.
Kakashi’s welcoming aura turned sour, instantly shifting the air into something dangerous.
Gulping I looked down at my wringing hands.
“(Y/N). Stop this. Stop avoiding me. Stop working late, stop sleeping early, hell just fucking eat with me! Why can’t we just go-”
“Because we can’t!”
‘Shit! I wasn’t supposed to say that! I was supposed to just nod dammit!’
Kakashi was silent, his eye looking desperate.
“Why not? I don’t understand why we can’t just-”
“Because I don’t know how!” I screamed, crawling out of my bed and standing up, Kakashi shot up and held his hands out, almost like he was going to grab me.
“Well then at least try!”
“Just because you don’t have a heart doesn’t mean I can just-”
Kakashi barked a humorless laugh.
“Don’t have a heart? Who was the one that fucking saved you? How many times is it now? Who’s going to save you when another fucker comes around hoping to get in your pants?” Kakashi roared and I flinched back.
“I have other people in my life Kakashi! I don’t need you!”
I could feel Kakashi’s hackles raising even more.
He scoffed, staring me down.
“Like who? Asuma? He’s fucking Kurenai, looks like you’re out of luck. Maybe you can find another creep like, what’s his name? Mikado?” Kakashi’s voice was almost a growl, threatening, and harsh.
“Mikado might have been trying to kill me but at least he fucking listened!” I screamed back, tears forming.
“We can’t go back, Kakashi. Not yet. I just need time. Time to get over you.” I whispered brokenly, hanging my head in shame.
Kakashi’s jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists. He scoffed again, practically snarling.
But he didn’t say anything, instead, he stomped over to my desk, where the necklace with my father's charm and Kaksahi’s dog tag was thrown a few days ago.
I couldn’t stand wearing it, knowing that Kakashi didn’t want me.
Kakashi snatched it up and stomped back to me, well it was his version of stomping, years of his ninja life practically removing the ability from him.
He snatched my hand up and pushed the necklace into it. Gripping my wrist tightly, but not enough to hurt, and looking into my eyes seriously.
“Wear it.” He snarled and then left, slamming the door behind him.
I blinked and looked down at the necklace in my hand. Remembering when he first gave it to me, after my last ‘visit’ to my mother.
I longed to wear it, to feel the cold metal against my skin, to feel the safety of it.
It felt like a claim, a promise of protection.
Not like the pretty ring that had sat next to the necklace when it was on the desk.
That was a claim to, but not one of love, it wouldn’t be until Kakashi placed it on my finger with the feeling of love driving him, not the Council.
Shaking my head I put the necklace back on the desk, next to the ring.
I wasn’t part of Kakashi’s pack, I couldn’t be until we felt the same, whether because these feelings faded or Kakashi’s grew.
The necklace was a claim.
But I wasn’t his.
I traced the engravings before moving to the ruby charm.
‘Father, what should I do? I’m so lost.’
Sighing tiredly I walked out of the room, quietly leaving the house.
These feelings won’t go away, and once they had filled me with life, now they have left an ache so strong I felt numb.
“Hey lady? What are you doing out all alone? Want a man to keep you company?” A stranger jeered, and I watched him blankly.
I didn’t realize how long I had walked, finding myself somewhere I wasn’t as familiar with.
The man was handsome, but clearly a pig.
Though, a pig sounded perfect right now.
“Depends.” I shrugged, watching him.
The man blinked, surprised, before breaking out into a smug grin. The man walked forward until he was directly in front of me, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I’m gonna fill you-”
The man flew ten feet away.
A raging Kakashi took in ragged breaths.
“You will not fucking touch her!” He snarled, picking the man up and throwing him against the wall.
“Listen man, she was the one-”
Kakashi tightened his grip on the man's throat.
The man choked and coughed.
Blinking out of my daze I ran to Kakashi, pulling on his arm. Kakashi let the man go after a crushing squeeze. The man dropped to the ground like a fish on land, coughing and sputtering.
“My wife shouldn’t even be mentioned from your filthy mouth. If I ever see you so much as look at her, I’ll kill you.”
The man’s eyes widened and he scrambled away.
Before I knew it I was back in the apartment, Kakashi’s room specifically, and being thrown to the bed.
Kakashi was on top of me before I could even blink, his hand rubbing my hair, the place where the man tucked my hair back.
“Fucking basterd shouldn’t have touched you. I’ll fucking kill him.” Kakashi was growling, eye jumping around my face.
He ripped his headband off, revealing his Sharingan, his hair falling down in his face a little.
“Kakashi. I was the one that encouraged him.” I said meekly, heart racing.
Kakashi snarled, hands moving to cup my face.
“He can’t fucking have you. No one can.”
Something swirled in his eyes, an emotion I’ve seen plenty of times from him. But I never wanted to admit what it was.
Possession.
“Do you even really care? Is this some stupid power trip? Kakashi, you don’t want me. You made that clear.”
I looked away, unable to make the tears stop flowing. Kakashi’s thumb swiped them away, his thighs tightening around my hips.
“I do care dammit! I care so fucking much it makes me crazy! I told you you’re part of my pack now, and I wasn’t fucking lying! You're mine!” He snarled, ripping his mask down and smashing his lips against mine.
I gasped into the kiss and he took advantage of it, claiming my mouth like a starving man.
Much too soon he pulled away, the only reason I didn’t follow him, was because my breath caught in my throat.
His face was finally visible.
The scar on his Sharingan eye went down to mid-cheek, a beauty mark dotting the corner of his soft thin lips. Face twisted into one of desperation.
Reaching up I traced his scar.
‘God he's beautiful.’
“Does that mean you love me?” I asked, taking everything in.
Inhaling sharply at the pure love in his eyes I quivered below him.
“God yes. I fucking love you. You’re mine. I won’t let anyone else take you from me.”
He dived down for another kiss and I happily obliged.
“My (Y/N), my wife, my pack.” He murmured softly against my lips.
I sighed contently.
“Yours. Just like you are mine.”