How Can I Make Nice?
Waking up to the smell of pasta I rolled out of bed to open the door.
A maid with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes startled and held the food up.
Lisa stood behind her patiently.
Opening the door wider I took the tray and brought it to my bed with a quiet thank you to the woman. Lisa followed me in.
“Lisa, where are the boxes of all my stuff? I asked you not to open them.” I asked between noodles, Mother would have a heart attack if she saw me like this.
Eyes red, nose stuffy, cheeks blotchy, mouth stuffed with noodles.
“Your mother found them and asked me to get rid of them.” Lisa said sadly, she opened her mouth to say more but I cut her off.
Jumping up the noodles spilled across the bed and Lisa gasped, immediately attempting to clean it up.
Running out of the room I searched the building for my mother, rage pushed me as I stormed through the halls.
Once I found her room I slammed the door open, leaning heavily against the doorway as I panted.
“What in God’s name are you doing! How dare you-”
Her screech was cut off as I marched up to her.
“How dare I? HOW DARE I? How dare you! They were mine! Mine! How could you do this to me?” I screamed at her, tears falling down my cheeks.
After all these years, I made the same mistake again and again.
I thought she actually cared.
But she doesn’t.
I am nothing but a way of furthering her wealth.
A loud clap resonating throughout the room, then the pain sprouted across my cheek and I stared at the far wall.
“That is quite enough. I won’t have a thankless child raising her voice at me. The disrespect! You are going to marry Hatake, you are going to give him a child, and you are going to do it all while smiling! Do you understand
(Y/N)!” Her voice rose with each word until she was screaming at me hatefully.
Clenching my fists I nodded my head sharply, swiftly turning to leave.
“Drake dear, escort this petulant child back to her room. Don’t let her leave.” Mother ordered our servant Drake.
He was a tall man with slicked-back black hair and thin pale skin. His eyes are a cruel brown.
He nodded briskly and snatched my elbow, walking back to my room.
Once we got there I waited for him to leave but he didn’t, he just silently stared at me.
Huffing I opened and slammed the door shut.
But still, he did not leave.
Sliding against the wall I banged my head against the plaster.
“How could they do this to me? Hatake, Mother, the Sandaime.” I whispered, tears beginning to form again.
A light breeze wafted through the room and I looked to the open window.
Getting up I glanced out of it. It was a large drop, but maybe...
I looked back to the bed with uncertainty, but nothing was waiting there for me.
My mother made sure of that.
Looking back out the window determinedly I nodded my head.
Finding a pair of scissors on the desk to my right, along with a bunch of paper and pens.
I debated if I should write a letter or not, but decided against it.
Gripping the scissor tightly I began to raggedly cut the dress I was wearing.
Now at a length that wouldn’t hinder me, I reach out of the window and to the tree branch just above my head.
Pulling myself up I shakily climbed onto it. The bark cut into my legs and hands, but I ignored it.
Managing to make it onto the branch I shimmied across it and to the base, climbing into the tree center.
My dress caught but I ripped it down. Attempting to climb down I almost fell a few times, but then I would catch myself and try again.
“Almost there, almost there…” I murmured to myself as I strained my fingers.
“What are you doing?” A voice rang out from behind me and I gasped, losing my grip on the tree and falling.
I fell into a pair of strong arms and looked up to see a man with a beard and a cigarette.
“Woah there. Gotta be more careful.” The man said, gently putting me down.
The man had gentle brown eyes and chestnutty hair. He was wearing a Jonin vest. Something constricted in my chest as I stared at the vest.
“Asuma-Sensei?” Someone from behind him asked tentatively and he turned to them.
I let out a breath of relief.
‘It’s not Hatake.’
Yet, despite the relief, I’m a little disappointed.
The feeling was odd, I shouldn’t be disappointed at all. I’m running away, leaving this life to go and live my own.
“What’s your name miss?” Asuma asked, eyeing my ripped dress.
Cursing I brushed my destroyed skirt and looked away.
“Oh I’m…I’m just a maid here, I have something I’ve got to do so…um…excuse me!”
I turned to run but only got about three steps before Drake was in my sights.
Faltering, I looked between Drake and Asuma.
“Lady (Y/N), you were not supposed to leave your room.” Drake eyed me distastefully.
“Lady (Y/N)? Aren’t we supposed to be showing you around?” Asuma asked, walking up behind me.
“That is correct. Lady (Y/N) will go change immediately. Be sure not to let her out of your sight.” Drake gripped my wrist tightly, and as he dragged me back to my room I felt my freedom go with it.
Asuma and three other children walked behind us, but I barely acknowledged them as I was forced back to the room.
“You, go and make sure she doesn’t run again.” Drake demanded while he forced me into the room.
“Change into something more appropriate.”
He shoved a girl with long blonde hair, pulled into a simple ponytail, and purple clothes with blue eyes, into the room before slamming the door shut.
I stared at the door silently. The girl cleared her throat, wearing a disturbed expression.
“Hello. My name is Ino.”
I glanced at her, she seemed confused and nervous. It made me pity her, but she still helped ruin my escape.
Without acknowledging her I pulled something out of the closet and changed into it.
“Your Sensei said you’ll be showing me around. Does he mean the Village?” I asked quietly.
“Yes, we were tasked by the Hokage to show you around since…you’ll be living…here?” She asked hesitantly as I glared at her.
I felt bad about being rude, but she brought it upon herself.
I snapped the door open and walked out, squaring my shoulders, and holding my head high.
Ignoring Drake I began to walk to the exit. Asuma and his team followed me awkwardly.
Once outside and away from Drake Asuma took the lead.
“So, where should we go first?” He asked, strolling casually.
I said nothing to him, despite the question being addressed to me.
“Maybe we should go to the Hokage Mountain?”
I looked to the kid that spoke. He was heavier set, orange hair shooting out of his oddly worn headband like two ears. He had a swirl on each cheek, a scarf around his neck, and a green button-up that hung open and loose over his yellow shirt.
Looking to the other child I eyed him curiously. His brown hair was pulled into a ponytail and spiked out. Intelligent brown eyes watched me lazily. He wore a fishnet shirt under a grey crop top-like shirt that was open in the front.
“Great Idea. Lady (Y/N), this is Choji and this is Shikamaru and Ino. I am Asuma. We will be showing you around the Village for a bit, get you used to the place.” He spoke kindly, but I couldn’t bear to respond.
He ruined my escape.
Just like Mother, Hatake, Drake, and the Hokage are ruining my life and no matter how nice they may seem, none of them are attempting to help me.
None of them care about me, about what I want or choose. None of them are friends, which means they have to be enemies.
“Oh! Say, Lady (Y/N) are you hungry? I know a great place we can go before heading to Hokage Mountain, what do you say?” Asuma asked, seeming to attempt at breaking the ice.
I refused to look at him or give an answer. He sighed heavily and I heard Ino whisper to the others.
“What’s her deal? We’re showing her around and she’s treating us like this?”
I ignored the ping in my chest.
They are my enemies.
“Shut up Ino. You don’t know anything about her. She probably has a good reason to be angry with us. I mean we did ruin her escape.” Someone drawled, I didn’t recognize the voice so I assumed it was Shikamaru.
Ino huffed and I saw Asuma cringe. Choji was munching loudly on a bag of chips.
“That’s another thing, why was she running? What’s there to escape?” Ino asked, I could hear the sneer.
“Alright! This is the place!” Asuma exclaimed loudly, ending their conversation.
We entered a quaint little place, it had just enough customers to seem popular but not enough to be overbearing.
Asuma led us to a booth and he waited for me to climb in.
“Afraid I’ll run if you give me an opening?” I asked, amused.
Then I cursed myself for breaking my silent treatment.
He gave an awkward laugh and I glared when I realized I was correct.
Huffing I climbed into the seat and pouted, leaning my head against the wall and glaring down at the menu.
Asuma climbed in after me, giving me just enough space to be comfortable.
A waitress came over and asked for our orders.
When she got to me I smiled politely at her.
“I won’t be having anything today thank you.”
Then I went back to staring at the table.
“She’s lying. Why don’t you get both of us the special? Thank you.”
Asuma handed the woman the menus.
“Ok that’s it! What is your problem? I’ve had enough of this childish attitude! You’re an adult! Act like it!” Ino was one octave below a yell.
I eyed her, face perfectly blank. But on the inside, I was raging.
“Now Ino…She is our customer. You should treat her-”
“You’re right. I am acting childishly. I apologize for my obnoxious silent treatment.” I snipped politely.
An awkward silence descended upon us before Ino cleared her throat.
“Well, as long as you…get it…” She hurriedly took a swing of water to get out of talking any longer.
“Ok! Here’s your food, please enjoy!”
The waitress placed our meals down expertly.
The meal certainly did look delicious.
Stubbornly I wanted to refuse the food, but there would be no point.
I already acknowledged my childish behavior.
Yet, I can’t rage against anyone, the petty silent treatment was the only way I knew how to deal with anything.
Not that it’s actually dealing with it.
It’s not like it even makes me feel better.
I just…don’t know what else to do.
‘How can I make nice when my life is being upended?’
Deciding my hunger comes before my stubbornness for once I tentatively took a bite.
I hummed in satisfaction.
“It’s good isn’t it?” Asuma asked kindly, smiling at me gently.
I stubbornly ignored his comment until I swallowed.
“The meal is suitable.” I said quietly.
Part of me hoped he wouldn’t hear it.
That hope died as he laughed, I blushed in embarrassment but swallowed it down with another bite.
The three children began to converse about one thing or another. I stayed quiet as I ate and Asuma didn’t push me.
“Naruto said that Kakashi-Sensei’s signing them up for the Chunin exams.” Choji said between bites.
Ino yelled at him for talking with his mouth full.
Asuma glanced at me in concern.
‘So Asuma knows but the children do not? Guess that explains Ino’s question.’
I chose not to display any of my feelings. But as I ate I listened carefully to their conversation.
“Yeah, we all talked it over with the Hokage actually. I’m thinking of signing you guys up as well.” Shikamaru sighed and mumbled under his breath.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea Sensei? I mean we are rookies.” Ino asked wearily.
“I think by the time the exams roll around you will be ready.” The conversation started to die and before I could help myself I jumped into it.
“This Kakashi-Sensei…is…he a good Sensei?” I asked hesitantly.
Asuma shot me a surprised look but I ignored it.
I also ignored the screaming in the back of my head, ignoring it’s insistent ‘Stop, you don’t care. You don’t want to know anything, don’t want to like him or be curious. You want to be mad, raise hell, make them all pay’ in favor of listening for the answer.
“Well, I don’t actually know anything about the man, but if he made Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura good enough for the Chunin exams then he must be some type of miracle worker.” Shikamaru drawled lazily.
I wanted to ask more, but I was afraid to.
“Kakashi’s a good man.” Asuma said softly, putting a hand on my shoulder.
Then he got up.
“Alright, let's get to the Mountain. Lady (Y/N)?” Asuma held out a hand for me and I took it hesitantly.
“You promise?” I asked him, knowing he’ll understand what I mean.
“I promise. He’ll take care of you.” He smiled encouragingly.
I had mixed feelings about his statement.
Part of me felt curious, even hopeful.
But another part, a more aggressive one, felt angry and offended.
“I don’t need someone to take care of me.” I snapped and Asuma visibly backed off.
Then, much more quietly, whispered, “I just need someone to care about me.”
‘If he’s such a good man, could we learn to love each other?’
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
We reached Hokage Mountain just before sunset.
We had made a lot of detours before coming here, Asuma filling me in on Konoha’s history.
It was quite interesting, a memorizing Village.
I found myself becoming less angry the more enchanted with the Village I became.
Part of it made me happy that I was forgetting my problems for a while. But another part was angry, which made me feel like I was betraying myself.
The sight from on top of Hokage Mountain was truly a sight to behold.
The sun hung low in the sky, turning the bright blue into soft pinks and oranges. It basked the village in a soft glow, a peaceful lull falling over the buildings.
“You know, it’s okay to be curious about your future husband.” Asuma came to stand next to me as we watched the children.
I stayed silent.
“Do you think I could love him?” I asked in a moment of vulnerability.
Mother would have scolded me for this but I couldn’t help the question.
“I think that with the right attitude anyone can learn to do anything.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
“I don’t exactly have enough information on you to answer.”
I relented for a moment, thinking over his response.
“I suppose you’re right.”
We stood in silence for a moment, neither sure what to say.
Ino started scolding Shikamaru about something or another.
“He’s a good man.” Asuma said, at last, voice contemplative.
“So everyone keeps saying. But he’s still forcing me to marry him.” I scoffed, anger sizzling my skin.
“He doesn’t want this either.” Asuma’s statement hit me like a ton of bricks.
“What!” I almost yelled, completely taken aback.
I turned to stare Asuma down, but he just looked out at the Village, smoking.
“The Council had been leaning on him for years. The Hokage’s tried to protect him but it’s not working anymore.”
“He’s a ninja! Can’t he just refuse? The Hokage’s son did!”
I felt like I was bagging, grappling at scraps to understand.
Asuma startled a little and then finally turned to me, eyes somber.
“No one can do anything about the Council. The newer clan heads have also advocated for Kakashi but…well just like how you can do nothing about your mother, Kakashi can do nothing about the Council. He’s as much a prisoner as you.”
The new information shocked me, making doubt turn within my stomach.
‘Perhaps he’s not as bad as I thought?’
“If he were to run away he’d be branded as a Missing Nin?” I asked meekly, already knowing the answer.
Asuma nodded solemnly.
“As for the Hokage's son…Sorry about that. I have a girlfriend I'm pretty serious about. The Council won’t split up something that’s already there.”
Asuma put out his cigarette and I nodded miserably.
The situation was a lot more than I took it for.
I was only thinking about myself and taking everything at face value-
“Wait, you’re the Sandaime’s son?” I snapped at him, confusion plastered all over my face.
Asuma nodded and gave a light chuckle before he fell serious again.
“It’s okay to be angry. You’re stuck in an unfair situation. But there's no getting out of it. Kakashi is a good man, he won’t force you to do anything you don’t want. Knowing him he’ll probably give you the bedroom and sleep on the freaking couch.”
Asuma dropped into a mumble here, but then he spoke up again.
“You can either try and make this work or you can be angry forever. Watching you today I fully believe you are capable of both, don’t let your anger at your mother stop you from enjoying your life.”
“But being angry is all I know, how can I just…just…accept this?” I gave a frustrated sigh.
“By letting go. You had fun today didn’t you? You let go today, and you can do it again. This is a good Village, by the way you were looking at everything I know you’ll love it here. Just give it a chance to charm you. I’m sure you can work out something with Kakashi. Worst comes to worst you’ll be friends with an open marriage!” Asuma jokes, shrugging as I wrinkled my nose.
Open marriages were common, yet looked down upon when it is directly stated.
“Hey, I’m just listing options. Talk things out with Kakashi. He’ll listen.”
Asuma seemed so sure that Hatake would be patient and understanding, it made any complaints fall back down my throat like a large pill, swallowing my worries.
The wedding was in two days, and I could fret about something I couldn’t control.
Or I could live my remaining day of freedom having fun.
“Asuma…Mother would never let me go by myself but…if you took me out then Drake wouldn’t be able to stop me. Take me out tomorrow, bring your girlfriend if you want, I don’t want to be stuck in my room stewing over something that’s going to happen no matter what I do. I want my last days as a free woman to be memorable.”
“Sure. But you’re not going to be held captive, you’ll still have freedom.” He pointed out with a stern expression.
I smiled humorlessly.
“We’ll see.”
With a grim smile, I turned back to the setting sun.