Chapter 8
Slowly, you feel your consciousness coming back to you. You squint your eyes open but a dazzling light forces you to close them again. The bed you’re laying in seems foreign to you and the scent of antiseptics and disinfectants engulf your senses. You attempt to speak up but only a broken sound comes out of your throat.
“Good morning.” A gruff voice you know too well echoes in the room.
“Window.'' You whisper softly, although the man understands and closes the curtains. A relieved sigh leaves your lips as you gradually open your eyes.
“Don’t worry you’ve only been out for a day.” Your teacher sits lazily in a chair beside your hospital bed, nose buried in his book.
The beeping of a machine fills the uncomfortable silence. You observe your leg, bandages enveloping the entirety of the limb. You tuck a red strand of your hair behind your ear and your fingers graze against a delicate fabric on your forehead, probably the same material covering your leg.
“Do you remember what happened during the mission?” Kakashi sounds fairly concerned, something rather abnormal from his usual behavior. You’re about to answer when your breath caught in your throat the second your eyes fall on your hands,the past events come crashing down on you.
Images of the motionless body of the woman appears in your mind. You hear a fuzzy voice near you, but the intense pounding of your heart twists the sounds around you, making everything just a complex melody. The metallic smell of blood intoxicates you, drowning you in it. You try to convince yourself that all of it is only in your imagination, but it’s in vain. Sole the feeling of a cold hand on your burning skin takes you out of your trance.
“Calm down Nora. You’re in Konoha, you’re safe.” Your sensei's voice is calm yet he seems distressed.
You squeeze your trembling fingers in fists, your nails dig painfully into your palms. The cold hand previously on your shoulder now rests on top of your balling hands.
You take a few agonizing breaths in. “I-I’m fine. You can let go.”
You move your hand away from his grasp and you finally take a good look at him, in all honesty, he really looks like shit; bags under his eye and his silver hair in a complete mess. He probably has been brushing his fingers through his hair a lot lately, something you couldn’t help but notice he does when he’s stressed or anxious.
“I know that what I’m about to say might sound heartless and cold-blooded, but it’s the sad truth. This won’t be the only person that you’ll kill in your life, there might be hundreds of them. This is what, us, shinobis do. We are mere tools that will do anything to protect their village, even if it means killing other beings. I’m sorry to tell you that, but if in the future you aren’t able to push your feelings aside for the sake of a mission, maybe you aren’t made to be a ninja.” You catch a glimpse of sadness in his eye, but it disappears as fast as it came.
“You have no right to say if I’m made or not to be a shinobi. I can make this decision all by myself, thank you.” You snarl back at him. “ Also, you might think that having no emotions is a good thing, but that’s not what I believe. Even if you're a shinobi, you shouldn’t force yourself to stop feeling at all. I’m sure that you can agree with me on the fact that doing such a thing will only result in losing yourself. You will start to build up walls and push everyone away, thinking that if you do so everything will be better and easier. Yes, ninja might be only tools for the Hokage to use, but isn’t what it’s all about.” You bite your tongue to refrain yourself from laughing at Kakashi’s confused face. “Feelings and bonds are what create one’s strength. The will to protect is what makes someone truly powerful in every way they could be. You can say that people that let a mission fail aren’t meant to be ninjas or even that they are worthless as one, but people that let the ones they cared about down, because they won’t let their feelings 'interfere’ with the mission are worse than that.” You finish your sentence with a wicked smile.
"Okay, maybe a reference to Obito wasn’t really necessary, but he should learn to not piss me off.”
The man looks at you in disbelief. Without answering, he walks to the window and he etches it open, but before he disappears you speak up.
“So…” You began. “When am I allowed to go home?”
“Whenever you want.” You stare at the empty spot he was standing just a few moments ago in awe.
"I will never understand how he moves so fast.”
You stand up and you slowly walk to the bathroom. You look at the reflection in the mirror, unable to recognize the person you were seeing.
Puffy and reddened eyes stare back at you, their sapphire color long gone. Your usual silky red locks have a tremendous amount of dirt in them, making them appear a muddy burgundy color. You look like a dreadful version of your past self.
It’s amazing how one day can change someone so much, one thing and the glow in your eyes is gone.
You remove the white bandage that crossed your forehead, surprisingly not even a bruise was present on your pale skin. You walk back to the main room with lethargic steps.
You pick up your hitai-ate from the table beside the bed and walk out.
You walked slowly in the crowded streets of the villages.
The laughs of the young children playing in the playgrounds don’t make you grin like it usually does. The cold stares you receive from the villagers don’t make your blood boil like it usually does. You emotionlessly stare at the ground as you wander in the village. Until a familiar voice calling your name catches your attention.
“Nora?” Shikamaru is walking towards you. You force a smile on your face as you wave back at him.
“I didn’t see you around for the past few days, where have you been?”
“My first C-ranked mission.” You try to sound happy, but from the way he looks at you, you guess that it flopped totally.
“Oh, how did it go?” His hazel eyes are examinitating every reaction that’s coming out of you. Your heart sinks to your stomach, but you quickly recompose yourself.
“Fine, it went fine.” You mentaly thank yourself for removing your leg and head bandages. Your lips form an exhausted smile.
“Nora, are you okay?” You scratch the back of your neck nervously.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but you know that if something is going on you can always tell me.” Normally, you would have teased him about being cheesy, but today is different. The concern you can see written all over his feature says that he knows too. A weak ‘yeah’ is your only response.
“So, the rendezvous at the park in three days is still up or your missions are more important than me?” He laughs awkwardly, probably trying to lighten the mood, but unfortunately for him the mention of missions only make you tense up.
“Yeah, see you then.” You wave quickly at him and walk away. You didn’t turn around, but you can feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull as you walk away.
Exactly like your first day here, you find yourself admiring the view of the village from the top of the Hokage Mountain. It’s already dark outside and the village is silent. The stars shine down on you in a mesmerising view and the full moon is hanging in the lonely sky.
You tell the moon about your torments, about your demons. As you pour your heart out to the moon, you feel a weight lift off your shoulder. Water droplets fell on your shirt and it’s only at this moment that you realise that you’re crying. Silent tears are rolling down your cheeks profusely. Strikingly, you feel at peace under the night sky. You want to stay there, yet the thought of Naruto keeps coming to your mind. You stand up to your feets and wipe the dust off your clothes. A soft sigh leaves your lips as you walk in the direction of your apartment.
The streets are silent, the whistling of the wind chimes to your ears in a soothing music and the sound of your slow steps echoes in the narrow alley.
You hear a quiet *click* and you push the door of your house open. The lights are off and there’s no sign of Naruto. You remove your black boots and put your coat in the wardrobe. The wood creaks under your feet as you walk in the bathroom.
You let the water of the shower run as you undress. A light cloud of steam forms in the bathroom, enveloping you in its warmth. The hot water glides against your skin in a recomforting embrace as soon as you enter the shower. You scrub your hands painfully, the feeling of blood lingering on your fingertips. Brown water forms arounds when you wash your red locks. You turn the water off and you dry off with a soft towel. You get out of the shower, shivers run across your skin as your foot touches the cold floor. You wipe the fog off your mirror and your eyes examine the image returning to you. The muddy color in your hair is gone and its bright color is back. Although, the dreadful look on your face and the emptiness in your eyes are still ever-lasting on your features. You throw on a baggy shirt and booty shorts and pitifully walk out of the room.
You pass in front of the kitchen and your stomach grunt in appetite, but the mere thought of eating brings the taste of bile in your mouth. As you get closer to your room, soft snorings become hearable. Your lips tugs in a delighted smile when you catch a glimpse of his yellow hair. He looks so peaceful and calm with a light blush on his cheeks. You leave a light kiss on his forehead before you lie under your sheets. The exhaustion kicks in and you quickly drift off to sleep.
You find yourself in a small clearing surrounded by dense forest. The full moon shining down on you as complete silence surrounds you. You look desperately around you with hope of discovering where you are. A distressed scream cuts through the air. A woman is on her knees clutching her chest as her agonizing screams echoes in your head. You attempt to reach out for the woman, but you aren’t able to move. A vast puddle of blood forms around the lady and it keeps getting bigger. Soon the red liquid pools beneath your feet, slowly engulfing your ankles. In a short time, the thick substance already buries you from the waist down. The rusty smell of iron suffocates you. The woman is now standing in front of you with a vacant look etches on her face. You scream at her, begging her to let you go.
“I won’t have mercy for a killer.” She spit in despise.
Your eyes shoot open and you sit in your bed. A few strands of your scarlet hair clench to the sides of your face, drench with sweat.
You look down your hands expecting them to be stained with blood, but nothing. Your heart beats in a frantic melody and the bile lingers in your mouth. You jump to your feet and run towards the bathroom, you empty your stomach in the toilet. You wipe your mouth with your trembling hands. Your ears ring so high-pitched that you can no longer hear the sound of the faucet running. You scoop the freezing water with both of your hands and splash it on your face. You slowly come back to reality, your breath lightens and the unsettling headache brewing in your head gradually fades away. A knock on the door makes you jolt.
“Nora, are you okay?” The sleepy voice of Naruto is barely audible through the door, so you turn around and open it.
“Yeah. I guess I just ate something bad. Sorry for waking you up.” Naruto seems to believe you or maybe it’s just that he isn’t awake enough to think clearly.
“Do you want to sleep in my bed with me? You always do it when I’m sick.” Your brother looks at you with pleading eyes and you couldn't help, but accept. He jumps in his bed, followed closely by you after you brushed your teeths. He snuggles closer to you as you brush your finger through his messy hair. Naruto falls asleeps quickly in your arms, but you are still wide awake. The images of the lifeless body of the woman creeps in your mind.
After an unknown amount of time, the sun begins to rise and the sunbeam slithers its way through the curtains. Without waking Naruto up, you get out of the bed and head to the kitchen. You inspect the food in the fridge, but you don’t feel like eating. Although, you take out the ingredients required to cook pancakes. Even if you aren’t going to eat breakfast, Naruto will so why not cook something for him while he sleeps, you think to yourself.
The sweet smell lingers in the air around you as you finish cooking all of the pancake mix. As you begin to wash the dishes you used to cook, Naruto appears in the kitchen.
“Goodmorning, I made some pancakes for you.” Naruto’s face lights up in excitement and you giggle at the sight.
You put a plate in front of him and he devours it at an incredible speed.
“Naruto calm down for God’s sake! You’re gonna choke if you keep eating this fast.” You scold him and he snorts in response. He finishes his plate in less than five minutes even if he slowed down his pace considerably.
“Are you feeling better?” Naruto mumbles with his mouth full of food.
“Yeah, kind off. Anyways, don’t speak with your mouth full, it's gross.” You stuck your tongue and you fake-gag as if you were disgusted, earning a full-out laughter from your brother.
“Even if I like to have you around, if you don’t start to get ready right now, you’re going to be late for the Academy.”
You visibly see Naruto’s eyes widen in realization and he jumps off his chair and runs in the direction of your room. He comes back less than ten minutes later with his toothbrush in his mouth and jumping around as he tries to put on his pants.
He grabs his backpack and his lunchbox then he waves you goodbye before running off through the door.
The appartement falls quiet, only the sound of birds chirping outside fills the silence. You go outside and lean against the railing of your balcony.
You try to recall your memories of your past life, but you aren’t able. The memories of what you looked like or who you were before arriving in Naruto's universe seems to fade away as they are replaced by one you made in this life. Even the memories of the plots you once read in Naruto's manga seem to become blur in your mind. Only the most marking events are still anchored in your memory. You sigh in defeat at the lack of knowledge, even if you try really hard to remember it’s useless.
You make a small mental list of the things you need to do today; shopping and training. You chose to start with the lamest part, the shopping.
After dressing up, you make your way to the clothes store down the streets. You need new clothes for your missions since yours are stained with blood and you didn’t have the strength to wash them.
You go through the clothes racks in the sport section and a few pieces catch your attention. You try them all on and you bought all of them except a white sweatshirt. Which gives you a training outfit and a mission outfit.
The training one is a simple black shirt with a pair of red cargo pants while the mission outfit is a plain black crop-top turtleneck and a dark-red skirt with knee-length leggings underneath. Happy by your purchases you walk back to your apartment.
Once you arrive, you swing the clothes in the washing machine and dress up with your old training outfit, a black crop top with a long-sleeved mesh shirt underneath and a mid-thigh black skirt, slit on the right side, with some leggings. You lock the door behind you and make your way to the training ground 9.
You like this training ground more than the others because, since it’s isolated from the village,it’s always empty. Well today, your bad luck struck again.
You stare dumbfounded at the person who’s already training. You prepare yourself for a quick and silent escape, but as you spin on your heels the person notices you and makes you a sign to come closer.
From where you were standing you weren’t able to recognize the person, but as you walk closer to them, it finally clicks. You mentally curse yourself for not running the other way sooner.
The young boy has a wide smile plastered on his face.
“Hi! I’m Rock Lee, who are you?”
“Uzumaki Nora, nice to meet you.” You flash him a polite smile.
To be honest, you don’t hate Lee at all, it’s quite the opposite, but today you wanted to take things smooth and by meeting him your plans just flopped.
“Wanna spare?” His eyes twinkle in excitement.
A defeated sigh leaves your lips as you nob.
“Great! I’m not able to use any ninjutsu or genjutsu, so is it fine if we only use taijutsu, I understand if-”
“It’s fine by me, I wanted to practise my taijutsu anyways.” You interrupt him. Lee thanks you and you both take a fighting stance.
Lee seems to be waiting for you to make the first move, so without hesitating anymore you pounce at him.
Your first punch is aimed at his thorax, but before you could land a blow, he blocks you easily. You jump forward on your other hand while your legs swing around, in a wild attempt to kick him.
Lee grabs your right ankle to stop your rotation and, before you realize it, he lets go of it and crouches down. He then spins on one foot so his other leg slams with your arm holding you in the handstand position you’re still in, which results in you falling face first on the ground with an ‘Oof’.
You lay there in defeat until Lee nudged your side with his feet in a silent way to ask if you’re okay. You flip on your back, Lee hovering over you with a proud grin.
You raise yourself to your feet and, after brushing the dust off your clothes, you raise your fist, getting into a fighting stance again.
Without warning, you appear in front of him with a kick aimed at his waist, but to your deception, Lee dodges it effortlessly and without you ever noticing he had grabbed your wrist. He twisted your arm behind your back in a bone-breaking way.
Before he can do anything, you swing your head back, hitting him his nose.
His grip on your arms loosen slightly and you take his moment of weakness to break free from his grasp. You spin around so you face him and, to your surprise, you’re able to land a punch in his right side.
However, your moment of glory is quickly over.
Before you could register what’s happening, you’re sent back a few meters from the force of a kick that landed under your chin.
Luckily, this time you land on your butt.
“I’m so sorry Nora-kun! I didn’t reduce the power I used for my last punch, I’m sorry!” Lee pleads as he runs to your sides.
“It’s fine, I didn’t really pull back my punches either.” You rub your chin, holding back a painful whimper as you do so.
“Don’t worry about me, you didn’t even hurt me at all!” He gives you a thumbs up and a large grin, you grunt in response. You know Lee was trying to be kind, but in a way he just called you weak which pissed you off.
“Well, I will call it a day. Thank you for the spare.” You say as you climb to your feet.
“Thanks to you Nora-kun! Whenever you want to spare, just come and find me, I’m always down for a challenge.”
You wave him goodbye before walking away.
The walk home is particularly slow, your legs muscle aching more after every step. Although, you’re proud of yourself for being able to land a punch on Lee.
The rest of the evening goes well, Naruto comes back from the Academy and the both of you watch TV like you usually do. Once again, Naruto falls asleep on the couch not long after. You tuck him in his bed and you laid in your own. You try really hard to stay awake, but the tiredness from yesterday's sleepless night and the training doesn’t leave you much of a choice.
Your eyes closed on their own and you drifted off to sleep.