Historical Havoc
Ranma had his collar yanked via a strong hand There’s only one guy I know who’d do that, and the only one who’d be anywhere around here for whatever reason he thought to himself.
”S-Saotome!?” A voice called out in surprise.
His martial arts training kicked in without even a thought, he flipped the offending boy over his shoulder, sending him crashing into the ground in a judo throw. Before letting out a sigh.
”Ryoga, you don’t gotta do the last-name stuff, we’ve known each other long eno-“ His voice trailed off as he realized that lying on the ground was, in fact, not Ryoga, the bandana wearing wandering rival he knew, but a green-clad punk.
Yusuke stood up on his feet in a flash and grimaced at the jet-haired boy. Fists primed to lay into whoever tossed him onto the ground before he was overtaken by surprise and confusion.
Kuwabara seemed to raise a brow as gears started turning. “No wonder you got the wrong person, him and Ranko dress a lot alike…” The machinery of his mind seemed to whir faster, his eyebrows furrowed as he continued. “…Like, the exact same.”
Ranma took slight offense to the thought of being compared to dressing like a girl, before remembering he is in fact a girl sometimes and is being compared to himself. So I'm just being compared to how a guy dresses that tricks people into thinking he’s a girl!
This was not as comforting of a thought as he’d hoped it'd be.
“I dunno who yer talkin about” he lied, but his pride wouldn’t sit still. “I mean- I am the heir of the Saotome-style of anything-goes martial arts. But I ain’t heard of a Ranko.”
Yusuke let out a hum of thought, both of his braincells working overtime, “So you’re a Saotome, but not our Saotome… And you two just dress the same?”
“Yeah, I mean, no offense or nothin’ but it ain’t normal.” Kuwabara added.
The ravenette crossed his arms with a huff. ”My pops gave it to me, ain’t like I picked it out myself.”
*****
Kuwabara’s eyes bulged wide, his complexion going completely pale. He grabbed Yusuke to the side in a huddle, getting a moment of privacy with his frenemy.
”I think I just realized what’s goin’ on!” The orange haired boy whispered, far too loudly.
Yusuke gave Kuwabara a look, a mixture of skepticism and wariness. He whispered back, only a little quieter, ”Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
Kuwabara swallowed down his anxiety, a loud gulp hit the bottom of his neck as he whispered, this time managing to keep his voice down. “That feelin’ that I had that Ranko’s nearby, it’s like, he’s doin that same thing. But… a little different. Like he’s almost her, but not quite.” Sweat ran down his brow as he talked, his breath outran his lungs. “The clothes being a gift from his dad, the weird specifics, the martial arts when Ranko was training for it… maybe they’re…”
Yusuke’s face slowly dropped the skepticism as Kuwabara kept listing things, now a far more intense yet cautious look was drawn on it.
“Distant relatives!” He whisper yelled, “She’s from the past, she probably started that whole school a’ martial arts! Those clothes have gotta be hand-me downs, they even got the same stains on it!”
The color drained from Yusuke’s face, “B-But that… She’s…”
The other boy’s eyes were as wide as globes as he just nodded wordlessly in confirmation.
”Shit…” Trying to find more words, Urameshi’s mouth felt bone dry as he spoke, “That… They can’t meet. It’d screw everything up. Some paradox thing right?”
Kuwabara just nodded faster.
”M’kay. No pressure or anything. Great. Just don’t cause a world-ending paradox.“ He seemed just as nerve-wracked as he did frustrated. Though being frustrated is Yusuke Urameshi’s default state. “Let’s get this dude outta here before he meets his great granny and suddenly Koenma’s ringing at me from an empty void!”
The two turned back to the martial artist, who seemed to be impatiently rapping his fingers along a table, having found a seat in the food court not 10 feet away, but otherwise unphased.
”Ok, I don’t think he heard us or nothin’, or else he’d be freaked.” Kuwabara added, scrambling back to the figure in Chinese silks.
*****
Well, my cover’s safe at least.
Ranma had not overheard everything, but the words ‘distant relatives’ and ‘time paradox’ were “whispered” loud enough he was pretty sure anyone that someone could’ve heard it from a plane in the sky. The initial discovery had caused panic, but watching the two buy into his story, and once again save him the trouble of having to make something up for himself, had soothed his anxiety.
He just got to be a normal guy.
He got to be a normal guy right now, and he even got a chance to be a normal girl-
The moment that thought crossed his mind his stomach ached something fierce.
I-I don’t think that sushi’s sitting right in me… Last time I eat from some random hole-in-the-wall place.
He held an arm over his torso, figuring that would soothe it, and while it didn’t immediately, he was able to get over it, he just had to man up.
In the meantime, he’d simply wait for the other two to awkwardly meander towards him as if he were a nuclear device. Internally, he snickered to himself at being treated like some sort of unstable being that could destroy the universe, but outwardly he simply just let his impatience show. Which he had plenty of, to be clear.
Both delinquents had a match of nudging each other with their elbows, pressing into the other’s side. Slowly increasing in intensity and urgency with each one until Kuwabara let out a grunt and was thrusted to the side, the veritable loser in their exchange.
The terror of Seriyashki Junior High awkwardly cleared his throat, “Uh, hey, S-Saotome, uh, how about we leave this mall.”
Yusuke added, with wide-eyed fear. “Far. Far away. Somewhere that isn’t here. At all.”
Man, these two need an acting class. Or two. Or 20. But there’s also no reason for me not to just be… Ranma. Just with a little bit of added history.
”Sure I guess? Uh, I’m not really from around here. It’d be cool to have someone show me around before I head back home.”
Kuwabara nodded stiffly and quickly.
Giving the other punk a side-eye, Yusuke took on a slightly nervous grin. “I know a girl who can tell your fortune.”
*****
Botan sat on her broom, unseen by the eyes of most people as she floated to her destination. A bag on her side, with casual sleeves and a myriad of odd disguises poking out, and one of the manilla folders in hand, combing through it as she strode along.
“Ugh… This could take who knows how long.” She grumbled to herself, she had handed the files containing all Ranko’s to Kurama, and decided to take the file of all the Saotome’s. Figuring it would be for the best to split the work amongst someone she trusts. Though she and Kurama have only briefly interacted, he seems like a good guy, on the level enough at least. Especially considering the circumstances. He’d do in a pinch, and ‘a pinch’ seemed to be more common than dirt in her line of work.
She finally slowed her descent, having spent hours just riding while she combed through to give herself the weightless focus, enjoying not being seen, nor dealing with the unbridled chaos of Koenma’s office, she decided to land down by a nearby diner. She remembers it well, it’s the one Yusuke got his first win against a demon when he had just come back to life.
She let out a sigh as she switched into her casual outfit, a plain brown jacket, a dandelion yellow shirt, with graffiti English that said the word ‘FUNKY’ on it in orange. With well-fitting blue-jeans and high-top sneakers.
She muttered to herself as she walked in, fingers sifted through the file that, to any unaware person, would simply just look like normal paperwork, holding up one of the Saotome files from the 18th section.
Botan continued her grumbles as she held the paper in front of her face, she squinted at it as if somehow that’d make it change. “I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna pull this paper back and just ask this person myself!” She whipped the paper back, to find an exact replica of the black-haired martial artist, sitting next to Yusuke and Kuwabara.
Fists balled up, she rubbed her eyes, holding the paper in a death-grip. She would have to check with Koenma if files came to life. Because sitting at that table was the person in her file, Ranma Saotome. Though the file seemed to have an error she’d need to fix later that wasn’t all that important to her right now.
“Yusuke!?” The girl hollered out as she rushed over.
The spirit detective cocked his head back, as he swiveled his legs to the side of the booth they were all sitting in. ”Oh hey Botan we were just lookin’ for you.”
Ranma’s anxiety was only barely detectable as he took a sip from his tea, attempting to exude false calmness. Ranma. The person from her file, who is suddenly here.
And dressed exactly like Ranko.
Who she knew was lying about her past.
This begged the question for her. Why would he lie, why pretend to be some girl trained by Genkai, what is he after? Kurama didn’t believe that he was working for any demons, and unless he was playing far more dumb than necessary he surely couldn’t have been a psychic. Though this sudden sex-swap only made the error in her file something that befuddled her even further- but she realized all three of the boys were staring at her.
“Oh! Uh, well, hm.” She held up the file once more, looking at Ranma again. ”Yusuke, I uhm, we have some very important spirit detective matters we need to talk about.”
Her anxiety was clear as day as Yusuke rolled his eyes, “It’s cool Botan, we got it covered. He ain’t gonna cause a… Nothin’. He ain’t gonna cause nothin’.”
Botan’s whole face scrunched upwards in a complete lack of understanding in-between the lines, of which Yusuke had not defined very well. “Yusuke! Just- just get over here.”
Ranma cocked his head to the side, a fairly cutesy gesture. “Spirit… Detective?”
Botan let out a frustrated sigh as she bit her own tongue, realizing her own slip-up.
He’s going to find out about it sooner than later. I guess it’s not that big of a deal.
“YUSUKE!” She admonished, her voice approaching a teacher finding a wad of gum stuck to their desk.
“Alright alright! Geeze.” Yusuke began to grumble under his breath as he got up. “Don’t gotta go all metalhead on me.”
A small groan of a sigh was all Botan could muster in response. Letting her stress be heard through the in-betweens of her teeth.
A random person showing up, demons up to something, an artifact got broken, being lied to, and there’s something wrong with this file… that I’m going to have to fix… Which is going to be a whole process going through Koenma’s office considering I don’t even do the paperwork part. Is there any way this day could get worse?
The shuffling of Yusuke dragging his heels across the ground and Botan’s inner monologue was pierced by the sound of a bug’s buzz.
And another bug’s buzz.
And another.
And another.
A swath of little horrific looking critters of bugs wriggled their way under the collars, into the ears and necks of several patrons of the diner. Sickening slick exoskeleton that pierced skin. Their eyes slowly shifted red, and their skin took a pale, then sickly blue tone to it. Slowly moaning and groaning as they writhed.
“THE HELL?” Yusuke shouted, the spirit detective took a full two steps back from the scene, his fists balled up as he kept his stance low to the ground.
“EHGHGHEUGH GROSS!” Kuwabara scuttled behind the booth, watching with wide-eyed horror as the legion of bugs swarmed through the streets.
“WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS??” Ranma took a full flipping leap onto the ceiling light, hanging off of it to get as far away as possible. Watching as an insect zoomed by where he just was. Sticking his tongue out in involuntary disgust, a whole host of creepy crawlies raining into the building.
“Makai insects!? Here!?” Her incredulous voice rang out, a mix of confusion at the circumstances, anger at the worsening situation, and general bewilderment at everything around her. She yanked Yusuke’s wrist, wrenching it into her own hand in a grasp. “Everyone, we need to leave! Now! Including you, Ranma!” The cyan haired girl took her other hand’s thumb and index finger in an OK gesture, she stuck them into her mouth and whistled her lungs dry. Her broom screamed through the air, smashing through one of the windows and appearing in front of her. “Oop-! Sorry!” She was only partially apologetic, not caring too deeply considering the moaning masses of possessed individuals and a mass of screaming people leaving. If anything, she was glad that the second window broken today was at least not a magical artifact.
”Everyone, grab a hand!” She instructed as she leapt onto the broom, holding on tight to Yusuke.
”Oh hell.” Yusuke, not too pleased with where she was going with this, gripped onto her broom as tight as he could, and grabbed Kuwabara by the scruff of his shirt.
Not wasting any time, and currently stuck in Urameshi’s hold, Kuwabara held out his hands perpendicular to the light Ranma was holding onto.
“SPIRIT SWOOORD, GET LOOONG!” A mass of yellow-orange energy sprung out of his hands, a shock of light beaming itself through the chaotic, frantic scene taking place. It slammed into the rod of metal holding up the dingy electronic lamp that was barely securing Ranma Saotome, causing it to fall. Ranma blinked momentarily in confusion for a few seconds, before, like an anvil, he proceeded to join it. His body slammed into the two tweens with a thud.
”Watch it, dumbass!” Yusuke let out an ‘oof’ of exertion as he tried not to lose his grip.
“GRAB. A. HAND!” The grim reaper of a girl shouted, her voice boomed the best she could. Sure enough, Ranma grabbed onto Yusuke, and Kuwabara reluctantly grabbed onto Ranma’s wrist. Without another word, Botan sped off, leaving the seemingly zombified people in the dust, grimacing as on goers fled the scene, yelling about people becoming hysterical and suddenly attacking.