Blast From The… Past???
The two watched wordlessly as Yusuke repeatedly lightly slapped Kuwabara’s face.
”Hey, dumbass. Wake up. Hey, hey, hey, moron.” The sound of what could’ve been mistaken for someone whirlwinding a handful of cooked spaghetti noodles against a pound of deli ham as Yusuke continued his incredibly non-threatening onslaught.
”Kuwabara! Get up! I know Rando got you worse than that and you were still conscious!”
Kuwabara slurred his words, barely audible, turning over in his slumber, ”just five more minutes Shizuru…”
”Any reason why we need to take big blue and bruised with us?” The girl chided, hooking a thumb over towards the now snoring delinquent. She and Kurama were standing off to the side, a small distance away, enough they could talk to each other over the commotion.
Kurama nodded, “Yusuke’s attacks are a powerful force, I can still hear Hiei grumbling about his loss” Kurama chuckled lightly to himself at his own comment. “If he can be as battered by Yusuke as he looks… And isn’t brain damaged by it, then he’d be a more than useful extra hand in this endeavor.”
”I ain’t Shizuru! Quit layin’ around and get up! What, do I need to splash you with water or somethin’?! DON’T TEST ME. I WILL!”
The girl shuddered at the mention of water, Kurama noticed, but didn’t say anything.
“So… This Yusuke guy, he’s pretty strong?” Ranko added. Genuine curiosity mixed with the desire to make small talk, steering her own thoughts away from whatever it was that bothered her.
Kurama hummed in thought, “For a human, yes. Although, he’s one fish in an ocean, there are far more bigger and deadlier predators than he is, but given time, I could see that changing.”
With the loudest slap they’d heard yet, Kuwabara finally stirred, sitting up, rubbing his cheek. His whole face swollen from all the little slaps mounting, “Back for more Urameshi?” His words coming out like more of a soup than anything else.
Yusuke smirked, “You’re really just a glutton for ass-kickings huh? But nah, we gotta talk to Botan. While you were re-enacting sleeping beauty, Kurama decided to stop by, let us know why the girl showed up here. I’ll fill you in on the way.”
*****
Ranma watched as Kuwabara rubbed his jaw, gently nursing the new bruises he’d found himself with as they walked. Kurama wasn’t kidding, that Yusuke guy either hits hard, or this guy’s just weak.
Kuwabara’s swelling from all the slaps was still present, but slightly fainter than before. Still had a ways to go before heading back to the spot where Yusuke had met the ‘fortune teller’ Botan, Kuwabara decided to make some small talk. “Geeze, you weren’t kidding, that training you went through really is somethin’ else.” His short-lived praise turned to swelling pride, “But just you wait! I wasn’t slackin off neither! I got all sortsa new stuff I learned while you were gone!”
Yusuke rolled his eyes, “What, your training in taking a beatdown? Because you’re still a pretty good punching bag.”
Kuwabara, too injured to properly make a threat, just sorta mumbled and grumbled to himself. Declaring that he’d get Yusuke next time.
The green-clad punk turned to Ranma, ”Speakin a which, you said someone was teachin you, right Ranko? Who’s that?”
Ranma reflexively opened his mouth. “Oh it’s…”
SHIT. I really gotta start making a fake name list. If they ever hear about my old man they’ll instantly connect my other side to me, so I ain’t gonna say ‘pops’.
“Gen-…”
I still dunno how these guys feel about curses. I mean, they’re workin with a demon, but I ain’t gonna take any chances until I’m sure. I can’t just add ko again or that’s suspicious, so I guess I’ll just say…
”-kai… Genkai.”
That’s different enough, oughta take the heat off me.
As everyone stopped in their tracks, Ranma knew he fucked up. He looked over to see all of them surprised, even Kurama, who’d seem mostly nonplussed across the board, had his eyebrows raised high. Yusuke simply stood there sputtering for a moment, and Kuwabara’s eyes shot open, as if the swelling from his earlier altercation had never even happened.
Yusuke was the first to speak up, “That old broad taught you too!?” A terrible first thing for Ranma to hear, but it was not over as Urameshi continued talking. “She never even mentioned… But she’s… When…” All of his questions, none of which were accusatory, but laced with deep confusion. “She said she hadn’t found anyone to teach in a long time, unless that window pulled you from the past or something!?”
Uh oh. When you’re in this deep, it’s time for one thing, and one thing alone. A classic Saotome scam. And he had just been given a wonderful idea.
“What, is– is it not 1932 anymore?” Ranma gave his head a small tilt to the side, attempting to be cutely ignorant. Putting on his best ‘naive girl’ voice he used to get free takoyaki.
“W-Wait, WHAT?!” Yusuke took a half-step back.
Kurama opened his mouth to speak, but Kuwabara let out a bewildered screech before he could say anything, “Th-that’s like forever ago!”
Hook line and sinker
Ranma did his best to hide a satisfied grin, keeping on the mask, he couldn’t deny, while he may have been faking doing this, he was absolutely a natural. Being a girl just came easy to her– he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. To him… To him. Pops would kill me if he ever heard me slip up like that. He’s also lying, of course it comes naturally to him, that’s the Saotome way. Tricks, scams, swiping, and fighting are all just to be expected. Pretending to be a girl is just the current scam.
His stomach pain was suddenly gone again. Back to the blissful, mindless distance from his girl form.
Kurama, after a long, long silence, looked him in the eyes. “You must be taking this pretty hard. It’s understandable.” his tone was completely flat. His eyes had lost that softness they had before.
Kuwabara was the next to speak, speaking nervously. Like someone slowly walking on a frozen lake, tapping to make sure they don’t fall in. “Yeah it uh… Hasn’t been the 30s in like 50 years…”
Yusuke chimed in after, a softer tone in his voice, a bit of his harsher edges sanded off. Even if just for a moment. “That’s… That’s rough. We’re almost at Botan’s, she brought me back from the dead, so she can probably put you back in the right time.”
Ranma realized everyone was taking pity on him, it was working, but their eyes, the way they all looked at him, like he was really distraught, like he was really in pain. It was working, they were buying it.
But he wasn’t even trying.
*****
Kurama’s hands held out the scant and remnant shards and pieces of the Gateway Window in his hands. Glass crystalline lights shimmering in the faint light of the alley, alongside the blue of its frame. The nearly completely oxidized copper now bent out of shape, even being broken in some parts. Kuwabara’s thick skull on top of a nearly six meter fall will do that to most things. Gesturing it to the woman with cyan hair in front of him. Her face went white as a sheet, wan and pallid, “Th-that’s all that’s left of it??”
“Indeed.” Kurama nodded in confirmation, while he showed up on the scene late, this is to be expected from the little he’s seen of Yusuke. He gets the job done, but he is a typhoon in the process. This was, quite frankly, to be completely expected.
Yusuke put his hands up, as if being inspected by a cop, taking on a defensive tone, “Hey don’t look at me! I was just cleanin’ Kuwabara’s clock as usual, and it ended up gettin’ broken.”
Botan couldn’t tell what upset her more, the shards in front of her, or Yusuke’s incredulity at his own guilt. She leaned in forward, her attempts to be quieter about the situation slowly failing, and she didn’t particularly care. They were in a secluded alleyway, it was fairly late in the evening at this point. Anyone to overhear her was unlikely to be around, and if they did they’d just think some strange person in an alley was shouting nonsense, and would therefore likely not investigate anyways. “Not your fault??!! How do these things just happen Yusuke?! Ancient spirit artifacts don’t just break themselves!” She let out a sigh, her voice turning into more of a huff mixed with a loud muttering, “I swear, I can’t believe you some days. We’re going to have to show Koenma this, you know, and he is not going to be happy.”
Yusuke put one finger in his ear, picking it while he shut his eyes, taking on a dismissive tone, “Yeah yeah, I’m sure the toddler’s gonna throw another tantrum. Ain’t the only thing we’re dealing with either.” Yusuke opened his eyes back up, and took his hand away, hooking a thumb over at the redhead, “She” his voice taking on a tone of slight venom from their earlier fight, “Is here, apparently that gate-thing decided to give us a gift with no receipt. It gets better. She’s from the past too. So that’s a whole other stupid-ass thing we have to deal with.”
Botan’s eyebrows shot up at his words, before her brow furrowed, holding a hand to her chin. “This… Certainly complicates things.” Turning herself over to face the pigtailed girl, concern mounting each passing second. “You’re… From the past?”
”Well I er uh, that’s what I’ve been told at least. That it ain’t the thirties anymore.”
Botan clicked her tongue, clapping her hands together as she rested the tips at her mouth. “Well. No. It certainly isn’t. Hoo dear…” She let out a dark, nervous chuckle, “It’s the eighties… So there’s that.”
Kurama watched Ranko intently, as she put a hand over her mouth, gasping, “Goodness gracious gadzooks! You ain’t lyin to me are ya missy? I thought this place looked bizarre but yer tellin me it’s like this everywhere?” She sat down on the ground, placing a hand on her head, rubbing and scratching it slightly in mock confusion.
Yusuke and Kuwabara cringed, watching someone go through such a revelation, they must find it terribly awkward. The boy in the blue uniform spoke up, “Yeah we’ll let Botan sort this out. Not like there’s much we can do. How about we, y’know, help you get used to stuff n stuff. Since all this stuff is so different.”
Yusuke scoffed at Kuwabara’s eloquent vocabulary, “Yeah. I mean Botan asked me to meet her here to talk about something, but I guess it was probably the gateway window right?”
Botan nodded with a pout, staring at the now-shattered glassware in her hands.
”Figured as much” Yusuke’s hands met the back of his head, “Well, I’m sure if you figure something out you can find us. I’m gonna go show Saotome what an arcade is. Probably gonna blow her mind.”
Ranko seemed to cringe slightly at the use of her last name.
Botan sighed, “It’d be nice to have you actually stick around y’know. But I’ll talk to Koenma about this, and see what we can do.”
Yusuke had gestured for Ranko to get on her feet, and seemed to walk off with Kuwabara and her in tow, already bickering about something or other as he waved to Botan and Kurama with the back of his hand. Before disappearing from the alley’s sight, eventually becoming inaudible.
”Well at least somebody stuck around to help.” Botan said, billowing out a sharp huff of air as she did.
Kurama mentally counted. 10 seconds. 10 seconds would be more than enough to know if they’d secretly stuck around. He waited, only hearing the small clinks of Botan attempting to put the window together by hand, and the slight gasps as she accidentally gave herself the smallest of cuts.
Kurama, having confirmed nobody unwanted could hear, reared his head towards the teal-haired girl struggling with the hardest jigsaw puzzle of her life. “The gateway window is a D class artifact, correct?”
Botan, who was currently squinting at the myriad of shards, tongue out in focus, suddenly snapped out of her trance. “Huh? Oh, yes it is. The ability to pull someone to you is a very strong power, but considering it seems to look for those with high potential spirit energy, and that you can’t choose, makes it pretty situational. Though still nice to have intact.”
“And it has the average spirit energy output of a D class artifact, correct?” Kurama, who was clearly going somewhere with this, awaited Botan’s confirmation.
”Yes…? It’s frankly a little below average if anything.” Kurama hummed softly, musing to himself that his suspicions were confirmed.
”Time is a fickle thing, a force and a dimension. Not entirely unlike space. However it takes far, far more to pull or push something through. Even something as simple as going 10 seconds into the past would take a tremendous amount of strain. While going to the future is easier, reaching into the past is not. 50 years is an amount of effort that could easily level a continent if released.”
Botan’s eyes widened as she understood Kurama’s questions, “You mean…”
His eyes grew sharp. ”We’re being lied to.”